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 Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 11:02 am
They ended up staying at the hospital for just a little under forty-eight hours. After the twins were born, they and Olivia were kept another twenty-four hours for observation, but not released until the following afternoon. Paris and Chris could have gone home in the meantime, but Paris was stubborn and decided that they should stay. She didn't want to leave the twins, and she felt a responsibility to make sure that Olivia was comfortable while she rested and suitably entertained when she was awake.
Finally, on Sunday afternoon, they were all released to go home. Paris and Chris carried a twin each out to the car and got them settled in their carseats. Paris sat between them in the back while Chris drove, utterly enchanted by the newborn babies. They made sure Olivia was at home and comfortable before driving home themselves. Of course they had company. Their respective families were waiting for them at the house.
It wasn't until later that evening when everyone finally left (Momma Gallo almost had to be dragged away) that Paris and Chris finally had some time alone with their twins. They were both exhausted, with only a few hours of sleep between them, and ready to call it a night even though it was only eight o'clock. Henry and Abigail were sound asleep in their respective bassinets, which were situated on opposite sides of the bed, one on Paris's side and one on Chris's.
“They've been together this whole time, I feel bad separating them like this,” Paris said as she changed from her clothes into her flannel nightshirt. “But they won't fit together in one bassinet. Do you think they'll notice?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:42 pm
”They weren’t together in their beds in the hospital,” Chris pointed out, although he understood how Paris felt in separating them. He’d already expected the lack of sleep, and already had plenty of coffee to compensate. He was just glad that the babies were sleeping.
“They’ll be fine. You need to get some sleep,” he added, changing out of his own clothes so he could pull on a pair of lounge pants to sleep in. His voice sounded tired, and he was sure Paris could hear it as well. He would like to do nothing more than to sleep, but knew better than to think he would drift off so easily, even with all the activity from collecting the babies.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked, moving around to Paris’s side of the bed to gently place his hands on her shoulders as she buttoned her night shirt, and leaned close to kiss the top of her head.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:45 pm
Paris smiled at the show of affection and bounced up onto her tip-toes to catch Chris’s lips in a real kiss. She held it for a few seconds before separating, lowering herself back down only once she was satisfied. She sighed lightly, content in a way she hadn’t been in a long while.
Between the issues with Chris’s starseed and waiting for the babies, Paris had been consumed by sadness and impatience. Now that the twins were here she felt a surge of happiness come upon her. It was easier to keep her focus off of sad things when she had the twins as a distraction.
“I’m fine, just tired,” she assured him. She’d only gotten four hours of sleep Friday night, and hadn’t fared much better on Saturday. Paris finished buttoning up her shirt and hopped up onto the mattress when she was done, taking hold of Chris’s hand to encourage him to join her. “Don’t forget to brush your teeth,” she reminded him.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:45 pm
”You can’t pull me to the bed and expect me to brush my teeth, too,” he snorted softly with a shake of his head. He moved close enough to the bed to lean down and give her another quick kiss, before gently pulling his hand away. “Yeah, I’ll be right back,” he promised, reaching over to turn out the light on her nightstand so she wouldn’t have to turn it off once he got back.
Chris turned then to make the short distance from the bed to the bathroom. Their room was probably too large for just them, but with the fireplace and the decorations Paris used to warm everything up, it now felt like home.
He shut the door quietly behind him, and as he paused to rest his back against the door, one hand reached to fumble with the turn lock, and his other reached up to clutch at his chest.
While he did his best to hide the pain from Paris, it wasn’t always so easy to ignore. He eventually gave up on the lock, figuring he was quiet enough not to alert Paris, and moved over to inspect himself in the mirror. Hand still against his chest, he turned on the water for background noise, then leaned close to the mirror to see just how bloodshot his eyes were, and tried to smooth out the pained expression from his face.
Paris finally had a chance to be happy with the babies with them, but no matter what he did to search for an answer on how to fix his starseed, the more questions came up. Even now, he felt as though his time was getting shorter, although from what he learned, there was no real way of determining how much time he had left.
People couldn’t survive long with a broken starseed. The fact that he’d lasted as long as he had was probably a miracle. If he didn’t figure out something soon, Paris would be left to raise the babies on her own.
And as he stared at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t stop the sudden tears that welled up. Try as he might to accept the fact that he very well may die, he couldn’t seem to shake the sadness and guilt and frustration and anger that came with it.
Unable to look at himself any more, Chris lowered his head, and slumped down over the sink, his hand supporting himself over the surface as he quietly sobbed.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:46 pm
For a while Paris was a oblivious to the fact that anything was wrong. She climbed under the covers and made herself comfortable in the darkness, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the lack of light. She glanced to the bassinet on her side of the bed and watched Henry as he slept. He was so small, but utterly perfect.
After a few moments, Paris reached out her hand to lightly place it on Henry’s chest, feeling the soft rise and fall of it as he breathed. She kept her hand there for a few moments, before turning away and rolling onto Chris’s side of the bed to do the same to Abigail. She kept her touches light, wary of waking them when they’d only just fallen asleep.
It wasn’t until a good ten minutes later that she realized she hadn’t heard the usual sounds of Chris brushing his teeth. She could hear the water running, but nothing to disrupt it. It simply sounded like the faucet was on but no one was using it. Mildly confused, Paris slid from the bed and went to the bathroom door, knocking lightly.
“Chris?” she said. Her hand went to the door handle and found it unlocked.
“Chris, what is it?” she asked when she found him crying over the sink. In seconds she was next to him, a hand on his back while she leaned in and tried to get a look at his face. “What’s wrong?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:46 pm
He didn’t hear Paris knock at the door, but when she opened it and called to him, he immediately tensed and quickly pulled his hand away from his chest, and reached under the faucet to splash some of the water on his face, as if that would be enough to hide the fact that he’d been crying.
Chris knew she’d already seen, though, but that didn’t stop him from trying to play it off. “Nothing… just something… in my eye,” he lied, but refused to look at her. He held his breath to stop the sobs that still threatened to escape.
“Sorry, I’m fine,” he insisted, gently pulling away from her so he could find a towel, but to also put some distance between them. The less Paris was involved in all this, the better. She had enough to worry about than an emotionally unstable husband.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:47 pm
Of course Paris didn’t believe him. How could she? She’d seen the evidence, despite how Chris tried to play it off and cover it up. He’d been crying and, if she wasn’t mistaken, had a hand to his chest. Was something wrong with his starseed?
Aside from the obvious, of course.
“You’re not fine,” Paris said. She let him pull away from her even though it hurt her to do so. “Something’s wrong.”
She wanted to ask about his starseed. Was he hiding something from her? Was there more to it than he’d told her? He’d hidden his conversation with Celsus from her so as not to upset her; there wasn’t anything stopping him from doing it again if he thought he was protecting her. Did she even want to know?
Yes and no. Yes, she was concerned for him. Yes, she wanted to know what was going on, but there was also a part of her that would like to remain oblivious. It hurt too much, knowing the truth.
“Chris, please, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong,” she said. “You don’t have to lie to me to protect me if that’s what you’re doing.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:47 pm
She was wrong. He did have to lie to her in order to protect her. If she knew that he felt more pain than not from the starseed, then she would be focusing too much of her attention on him instead of the babies, or even on herself. He already worried her enough.
“It’s fine,” he tried again, shaking his head but still not looking at her. This was exactly what he didn’t want. He didn’t want her to see how weak and pathetic he really was. How hopeless he felt. How lost he felt. She needed him to be strong for her and the twins.
“Just heartburn,” he tried, taking a towel from the wall to wipe off his face. “Go back to bed, Paris,” he insisted, glad that his voice still sounded strong enough on its own.
Did he feel guilty lying to her? Of course he did, but he also knew how she worked. If she could pretend that something wasn’t wrong, she would. Not because she didn’t care, but because she had so much going on with her own life and emotions that she could only process so much before being overwhelmed, herself.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:47 pm
Paris didn’t like the lying. And she could tell that that was exactly what Chris was doing. It was in the sound of his voice, in his body language. Something was wrong and he wasn’t telling her about it, either because he was afraid of the truth or because he was trying to protect her.
It hurt, knowing he was suffering but he refused to talk about it. She felt guilty, knowing he was hiding it from her because he was worried about how she would react. He should be able to talk about these things with her without the fear that she would completely unravel.
“Chris…” she tried. Paris went over to him again, returned her hand to his back and stroked up and down. She peered into his face, tried to decipher his emotions by looking into his eyes, afraid all along by what she might see there.
“You’re just… it’s just overwhelming, isn’t it?” she said, struggling to find some reason, some excuse, something that wasn’t what they both knew it to be. “It’s been a long weekend. You just need to rest. It’s okay. I know this is a lot for you to handle…”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:48 pm
It was overwhelming. He could definitely agree with that. It was completely overwhelming to have lost his memories and wake up married with not one, but two babies on the way. It was overwhelming knowing his starseed was damaged and no one seemed to know a way to fix it within his lifetime. Sending it back to be reborn seemed to be the only thing that might save it from being completely destroyed.
Chris nodded in agreement to let Paris know he was paying attention to her. “Yeah,” he said, but turned his head away from her so she wouldn’t get a chance to look in his eyes. He could never hide his emotions from reaching his eyes. Perhaps she would only see his eyes as red and tired, and nothing more, but he couldn’t take the risk.
He didn’t want her to see how afraid he really was.
“Sorry… I’m fine, just… need a moment…”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:48 pm
“It’s okay,” Paris reassured him.
She hated that he wouldn’t let her look him in the eye. She knew why, of course, but that didn’t make it any easier. She felt her guilt grow, afraid that he didn’t trust her to keep her emotions under control.
But then when had she? They always seemed to have a habit of getting away from her.
“Chris…”
She wanted him to be able to rely on her they way she relied on him. She wanted him to know that she would do what she could to be strong for him when he couldn’t be strong for himself. She wanted to be able to support him the way he’d always been there to support her.
“It’s okay,” she tried again. She moved even closer to wrap her arms around him. “It’s okay, everything’ll be okay. I know it hurts, and you’re afraid, but we’ll figure it out, I promise. I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll figure this out together…”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:49 pm
She was with him, yes, but for how much longer would he be with her? It was too much and pushed him over the edge. His breath caught in his chest and his legs felt weak. As she put her arms around him, he felt himself break down, and slowly sunk to the floor as tears spilled down his face.
He was cautious of hurting her, and didn’t pull her with him as he slumped down onto the soft bathroom mat in front of the sinks. Instead, he lifted his hands to his face to try and hide, very aware that in the five years they’ve known each other, she could probably count the number of times she’d seen him cry on one hand.
While he wanted to tell her all of his fears and everything that made him angry about the situation, he knew that it would only make things worse for Paris. How could he so casually tell her that he didn’t want to die and expect her not to be upset as well? Besides, she was sure to know that he worried about how much longer he had left, so why continue to bring it up.
So instead of talking, Chris clung to her night shirt and sobbed into it. Deep, heavy sobbing. Tears for Paris and for their children. For his family and friends. Tears of anger for not knowing how to make himself better, and despair for the same. He couldn’t remember having ever cried this hard before, which meant Paris surely hadn’t seen him like this. Pathetic and weak and not the same person she knew and fell in love with, for sure.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:49 pm
Paris didn’t think he was pathetic or weak.
He’d certainly seen her break down quite a few times in all the time they’d known one another. She wasn’t the type to hold herself back when she was upset about something, and she’d had plenty to be upset about over the years. Paris thought it was only fair that she should be there to comfort him when Chris finally reached the point where he could no longer control himself.
“Shhh,” she said. She let him slide to the floor, but she was quick to follow, kneeling in front of him with her arms around him, she held his head to her chest and kissed his hair. “Shhh, it’s okay.”
She could feel the pressure building, the heat of tears in her own eyes. They rose up and blurred her vision. Emotion clogged her throat, but she stubbornly cleared it. If Chris could be a steady presence for her whenever she gave in to her emotions, then she could do the same for him.
And if she was hurt and afraid, too, she pushed it aside for the time being. Chris needed her right now, and she needed to be there for him.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” she said again. “I love you. Everything’ll be okay. I’m right here. I know you’re afraid and upset. I am, too. But I love you, and I’ll do everything I can for you. Just trust me. We can fix this.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:50 pm
Paris shouldn’t have to deal with him like this, regardless of whether she’d had her share of breakdowns or not. He knew she was very open with her emotions and felt guilty for giving into his own when he knew how much it must affect her. He did need her, but at the same time he knew she needed him to get himself together for her and for their children.
And yet, he couldn’t reign in the emotions that poured out, streaming down his face and into her night shirt and on the mat beneath them.
“We can’t,” he sobbed quietly. “T-there’s no way.” No one knew what to do, how to help him, other than being reborn. “I don’t… I don’t want to leave you,” he finally admitted, hands gripping onto her nightshirt as though it was a lifeline for him. “I’m s-so sorry… I d-don’t know… what to do,” he said through sobs.
He’d already spent many sleepless nights seeking out help but nothing. There wasn’t any known way to repair a starseed in the same lifetime. Even the powers of a Princess wouldn’t be enough. “I’m s-sorry,” Chris said again, although his voice was muffled. His chest ached and his head throbbed now as well. He didn’t know if he had the energy to get back up after this.
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Posted: Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:50 pm
“Don’t say things like that,” Paris said.
She didn’t know what to do. She’d never had to comfort Chris like this, and she wasn’t sure what to say. Everything she came up with sounded empty. She didn’t want to lie, or to say things just to make him feel better, but she didn’t want to admit to the truth either.
She was terrified that he would leave her. Not by choice, of course, but because one day his starseed might give out on him. He was right that they were no closer to finding any answers, and the solution to their problem seemed well out of reach, but Paris couldn’t let herself believe there was no way to save him. She didn’t want to give into fear and hopelessness.
“You’re going to be okay,” she told him. Her voice was surprisingly calm despite the emotion raging through her. “You’re not going to leave me. We’re going to grow old together. We’ll retire in our thirties and travel around the world. We’ll watch the twins grow up. You’ll teach them how to play baseball and go to all their games and recitals. They’re going to love you so much…”
She loved him, so much she thought she’d cease to be without him.
“I promise we’ll find a way to fix this,” she said, “and then when we look back on it it’ll all seem like a bad dream.”
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