Hello Vamps!
I apologize for the long wait for a crit, but I do have some things to go over!
First, on the civilian side, all of Samson's hobbies are currently a bit thin -- I'd love a bit more detail about all of them! They also all seem fairly solitary, though I'm guessing that's by design? Mostly I would really like some more detail on his "Avoiding People" hobby, since it feels like you left off mid-sentence?
Also, unfortunately, I am going to need you to do a full Negaverse progression for Borax, and then submit Nan Mandol's abilities as a revision, just like with any other side-swap, planned from the beginning or not. What you have is not currently Negaverse-appropriate, as it's far too magic-focused, but I'm happy to bounce some ideas with you for what a book could evolve into for an officer!
Essentially, I can only approve one powered side at a time, and you have two here!
Quote me and I'll be back!