So the relationship talk sort of happened...

[Zphal]

A guy from my karate class asked if we were a thing last night. Neil said "No." Later when we were having dinner I looked sad...

Him: "What did I say wrong this time?"
Me: "You said 'No'."
Him: "When he asked us if we were dating?"
Me: "Yeah. I mean, I know we're not but yeah."
Him: "We're not dating right now."
Me: *eyebrow lift*
Him: "I'm not opening the possibility up, but I'm not slamming the door in your face either. I'm enjoying being single right now."

I think he does like me but might be worried about the level of commitment I'd be looking for. How does it read to you guys?  

[Mama Ame]

It sounds like he's being truthful, which is a good thing. I know you want a relationship with him now but I'm glad he's being truthful about it and saying he's not ready for a relationship.

That being said just because he doesn't want a relationship right now doesn't mean he doesn't have strong feelings.  

[Zphal]

Prof. Moonie

It's always hard finding oneself in that limbo zone, not knowing what lies in your future in relationship terms. I've found myself in that situation several times in the past. At least you are lucky and know what his feelings are, and that's he's being open about it. I was never granted such courtesies with the guys I had crushes on, despite being fairly open about my feelings.

It's possible, like you said, that he's unsure whether he's ready to take things to the next level with you, whether it's commitment issues or not. Or maybe he's just being courteous and allowing some time to pass while you sort things out with your [ex-?]husband. I can understand someone hesitating to date someone officially when that person is still in a relationship of sorts with another person (even if it is ending).

I think this is a big possibility. Until February approaches, it's gonna be limbo.

Thanks for your insight. smile  

[Zphal]

Mama Ame

It sounds like he's being truthful, which is a good thing. I know you want a relationship with him now but I'm glad he's being truthful about it and saying he's not ready for a relationship.

That being said just because he doesn't want a relationship right now doesn't mean he doesn't have strong feelings.

Officially dating him right now would be wonky... so even though my feelings are strong, I understand waiting. Still, I guess I would feel less anxious if he'd said "We will later."