With little else to do in the prison Gilda found ways to entertain herself, one of these ways was by revising her psychology testing technique. Of course the credibility of the Rorschach test could be disputed and of course had been by various scholars, but it was a tool that she enjoyed using, it was an expected thing and was also one that many patients seemed to expect, leaving them open for discussion on the more pertinent issues concerning them.
She tried to avoid assessing herself, but of course she ended up more often than not doing it anyway.
Wiggling her legs idly she looked over one of the ink blots and frowned. All she could see in it was nightmarish things, strange twisted demonic things, a huge crested and hissing nightmare with its fangs bared and its pinprick eyes fixed on its prey.
She pushed it away, concerned that the situation really was getting to her more than she had thought. She was starting to see monsters everywhere, even in the pages of her books and it was making her start to doubt her sanity. It was a rough day when looking over ethics seemed preferable to looking at inkblots
7. Were you loyal to any person / family / group / religion in the past, and if so, will this impede your ability to be loyal to your faction now? If not, do you feel like loyalty and respect come easy to you?
Loyalty didn't come easily to her, in fact it was one of the hardest things anyone could ask of her. Loyalty meant committing yourself entirely to someone else, giving everything you had to them and refusing to let go no matter what. She would never give anything like that without a guarantee of the same from the other person, and if there was something her line of work had taught her it was that everyone was selfish inside their own mind. Even Ras, she was sure harboured some inner depth of selfishness. He entertained his own neuroses and quirks using her and she was happy to let him, mutual using was easier than loyalty, it couldn't hurt you, it couldn't leave you feeling alone.
She had been loyal once, she had trusted her parents, trusted them with the absolute certainty of a child.
When she found out they weren't her blood parents she felt betrayed in a way she had never since learned to cope with, so bound to the ideas of genetics, blood and bone. She had no idea where she came from or who she was, and because of their lie for a long long time she had known what it felt like to belong, and that was the thing she hated most. If she'd never known she couldn't miss it.
If it came down to it, she had no idea who she would be loyal to any longer, she wasn't even sure at this point that she trusted herself. She had Ras at least, his issues were the closest thing she'd ever maintained to friendship and they provided a very acceptable alternative to it.
OOC
▐▐ CHARACTER'S NAME>> Gilda Farrel
▐▐ CHARACTER'S FACTION>> Prison
▐▐ CHARACTER'S JOURNAL>> [x]
▐▐ CHARACTER'S STATS>> [x]
▐▐ CHARACTER'S DESCRIPTION>> Tall and blonde with sleek curves and a very severe expression and disposition. Dressed impeccably despite the situation and apparently still in a rather businesslike mode.
HERE YOU SHOULD QUOTE ANYONE YOU ARE TALKING TO
QUOTE MORE PEOPLE IF YOU ARE TALKING OT THEM
