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Hitch trusted Tolliver implicitly; he also knew that his lover might be filled to the brim with good intentions, but he was no technowizard or anything remotely resembling one. The way that Tolliver took it seriously though, this stupid little phone that was outdated by now but too full of memories that had no other place to go, that made him feel a little better. A little.

He snorted then, crossing his arms as he took slow strides to the kitchen. “Oh cut it out - “ He was trying not to smile, not to blush. “I’m nothin’ special - ‘sides, I’ve never tried to judge how good or bad you are for myself, “ he declared, whipping out a fork - and a spoon, just in case - along with syrup, all bemused determination written on his face.

Speaking of faces though. He couldn’t help laughing hard when he saw the look on his lover’s, resisting the urge to just double over. “Y’know, babe, you could try sellin’ ‘em a little, “ he teased as he leaned in to kiss Tolliver’s temple sweetly. “You look like I’m like - I don’t know - like someone’s forcing you to poison me on pain of death or somethin’!” And he snatched the plate right up, squirted some syrup on it, and took a big old bite of the top one.

It was - definitely batter-flavored, yup.

Even so! He hadn’t eaten today, and goddamnit, he wasn’t about to make his boyfriend feel bad about trying to make dinner. So with a dash of extra syrup, he went ahead and dug in with huge, messy bites.

I’m gonna get food poisonin’ for sure.

He was certainly no computer genius, or even technologically capable in the first place, but Tolliver did know how important the phone was to Hitch, so he was at least going to try and see if there was anything to be done about it. If there wasn’t, well...they’d work something out, hopefully, but there was no shame in at least attempting.

Tolliver’s eyes flickered towards his boyfriend, cheeks pink. “You are special,” he said, sounding faintly bemused, as though this was a fact, and why couldn’t Hitch see that? “And I - I like it when you cook for me, even if I can’t return the favor, I just - I wanted to try and see if I could do it, even if I can’t, because you do it for me, and that - that means a lot to me.”

Especially since the majority of the time he had difficulties eating in the first place. It was not necessarily an eating disorder, exactly, more just the depression sinking into his veins, making him lose both the will and the energy to even try in the first place. Hitch was certainly helping with that, in many ways, but it was by no means an easy feat. Tolliver’s anxiety was deeply rooted, after all.

The kiss to his temple made him smile, just a little, as did Hitch’s teasing and the way he dug in without hesitation. Tolliver watched him somewhat worriedly, twisting his fingers together.

“That’s not…” he said, a slight protest. “I mean, you don’t - you don’t have to do it just to please me,” he added hastily, cheeks burning. “I know it’s terrible, really.”

At the ‘special’, Hitch’s face burned and he gave a tiny little disapproving grunt, although the last part made him smile faintly even if he was trying to seem annoyed by all the unnecessary praise. He was trying not to just deflect it back onto Tolliver - and the instinct was there, his lips beginning to curl with the familiar rebuttal - but again, he’d promised Tolliver he’d try not cut the s**t. Well. Except for one thing.

“You are returning the favor. Right now.”

He flashed his lover a smile and arched his brows, half-challenging Tolliver to challenge him because technically Hitch was right.

“It’s not terrible, “ it was totally terrible, and the texture was catching in his throat and sliding down and whoo! What a rush! But he still kept on eating, making all sorts of sounds like yes this was totally the best runny a** pancake this side of Destiny City. “I love them. - these might be the best pancakes - like ever, “ and he kept right on eating, although he added a little more syrup just to… survive and all that.

He opened his mouth and then shut it again, staring at Hitch with the sort of confused worry that tended to appear on his face whenever he was uncertain about something. Hitch was certainly making a good show of it, stuffing the pancakes - if they could even be called that - into his mouth and adding more and more syrup. And for a few minutes, Tolliver almost believed him.

Almost.

And then, as though something - possibly his sanity - had shifted, Tolliver burst out laughing.

It was not the sort of shy, quiet laughter he usually held, a hand over his mouth both to hide his smile and muffle the sound. This was all-encompassing, delighted, free laughter that rolled through him and burst from his mouth and his chest, echoing throughout the little kitchen until it was the only sound audible.

Tolliver’s hand was resting on the counter, his whole body bent over, his free arm around his waist, and for several seconds he seemed unable to stop, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes - for once because of sheer mirth, not sadness.

“You’re,” he said breathlessly, once he’d straightened, and he couldn’t stop smiling, and maybe it was silly and ridiculous, but - “so full of s**t, Logan Hitchcock, bloody hell, those are terrible pancakes, I know they are, I tried to eat one earlier and almost threw up, and you - you’re saying they’re the best - “

Wiping his eyes, Tolliver made his way over to Hitch and gently but firmly put a hand over his wrist, pulling his hand away from the fork.

“Please stop eating those,” he said, still giggling. “Really. Eat something else more edible.”

As Tolliver burst out laughing, Hitch looked up - and very, very deliberately, his mouth was full of the stuff, cheeks puffed out and all that, his eyes wide - again, that was also deliberate - and his lips curled in a helpless kind of grin.

God he wished Tolliver would laugh like that all the time. But maybe he didn’t. Maybe it’d make it less special. - but he wished he could hear it more, he wished - he wanted to remember that sound, and the sight of his lover bent over at the waist, laughing so hard he couldn’t stand straight.

With some effort, he managed to swallow, trying not to gag while he did it, and he’d actually eaten a good chunk of the plate by now, and - “What’re you talkin’ about?! I gotta finish now! I’ll only get to have Tolliver St. James trademark pancakes once in my whole life, y’know~” And playfully, he made as if to go back for the fork, “Just remember that I love you okay? Just remember me Tolli, “ and then he bumped him playfully, once, with his elbow, flashing him a smile that was less cocky and more edging on sweet. “I’m not great or anythin’, but - maybe I can just show you how to make some basic stuff, yeah? If you wanted, I mean.”

It was probably a stupid offer, he didn’t really know much he didn’t get out of cookbooks, but...

He laughed all the more helplessly at that look on Hitch’s face, trying so hard not to, but failing miserably. Tolliver pressed his fingers to his mouth even as he stood in front of his boyfriend, shoulders shaking with mirth; and he looked like a chipmunk or something, cheeks all puffy, a mouthful of...well, he couldn’t really call them pancakes, they were just squashy blobs of dough, really.

There was still a lot left on the plate, but Hitch had eaten a large amount of it. Tolliver’s fingers curled around his wrist before the fork could actually make contact with the food once more, tugging it gently but firmly away and - at the same time - whisking the plate away with surprising ease.

“No,” he said, giggling, Tolliver whisking away to dump the remains of the pancakes - blobs - into the garbage disposal. “No more for you, you’re gonna eat something else, please.”

But he’d caught the sweet smile on his lover’s face, Tolliver’s cheeks burning with pleasure, even if he was trying to act normal. He straightened, the plate sliding into the sink, Tolliver twisting around to look back at Hitch, expression a mixture of uncertainty and curiosity, eyes still bright with happiness.

“You...you want to teach me how to cook?” Tolliver repeated, blushing all the more still. There was a pause, and then he said, a little hesitantly,

“Really? You’d...do that for me?”

Hitch’s shoulders slumped dramatically and he made an extra exaggerated ‘why’ gesture at the garbage disposal before cracking up, “Now I’ll never what comes at the end!” Aside from death and food poisoning, but, you know. He arched a brow playfully at his boyfriend before sliding up behind him, sliding an arm beneath each of his lover’s arms to rest his hands on the edge of the sink, planting a small kiss on Tolliver’s cheek (since he’d twisted to face him) and then moving on to his neck.

“Course I would.” Like it should have been obvious. Really, it should have been. “I’d do anythin’ for you babe. Anythin’.” He tilted his head upwards now, kissing lover’s temple sweetly before chuckling under his breath. “If that anythin’ includes makin’ it so you don’t accidentally ********’ poison yourself, I mean hey - “ He nudged his nose lightly against Tolliver’s, now, the playful edge not gone from him. He might’ve had the day from hell, things still weren’t totally okay, Hitch still didn’t really think he was okay, but - but he was home now and Tolliver just made everything okay. It was as simple as that.

“Good,” said Tolliver with a little giggle. “You never need to know what comes at the end of that rainbow.”

The arms around him from behind made his heart flutter, as it always did, and Tolliver basked in the warmth of them as he turned around, his hands sliding up Hitch’s arms to rest on his shoulder. He squirmed a little at the kiss to his cheek, only because it was absolutely endearing, and the one to his neck made him flush with happiness. He nuzzled his face against his lover’s automatically, loving the soft sweetness of those lips against his temple

A little laugh escaped, slightly self conscious, but not entirely, Tolliver’s nose wrinkling.

“I love you for your concern for my well-being and health,” he whispered, and lifted his hands,fingers gentle as they rested against Hitch’s neck, then slid along his jaw to cup his cheeks lightly, thumbs smoothing over his lover’s face. There was no sign of disgust or displeasure, even at the scars that now would stay permanently, Tolliver simply taking all of it in with a little smile of adoration on his face.

“If you don’t mind having me as your...untentional student,” said Tolliver, nose still wrinkled playfully. “Then I would really very much appreciate some cooking lessons.”

His expression softened, Tolliver tenderly smoothing away some of Hitch’s hair from his face.

“I’m glad you’re all right,” he said quietly, biting his lip. “I worry about you, you know.”

He loved being with Tolliver - he loved moments like these - he loved when everything was was s**t could be left at the door and he could savor just being around him, cherish how much easier and harder Tolliver’s laughter came now than it had back at the beginning - and how much easier it was to appreciate that knowing where his lover had been.

Tolliver would never know how much Hitch really concerned himself over Tolliver’s well-being… what he’d done to try and keep him safe. It was better not to. If he did - Hitch sometimes flinched at the thought - maybe Tolliver would’ve found a way to blame himself for what’d happened with Cinnabar that night, even if Hitch had been the one to run into that mess blind. He knew Tolliver - he knew how his boyfriend’s mind worked.

Hitch always responded warmly and happily to Tolliver’s touches on his face, even if he was never totally confident about the way he looked or why Tolliver adored it as much as he did - but he still hadn’t gotten past that point yet where, although the gouges on his face had mostly healed, he flinched when Tolliver touched them. Traces of something dark and heavy would flash in his eyes, although he never said anything. He knew Tolliver understood, better than anyone, but he couldn’t help the impulse response - he’d already been self-conscious enough about freckles and tiny acne scars. Now? He had slices on his face, and not just one, but a ******** series of them.

His smile always returned a moment later, and it wasn’t faked or forced, but there was still just that moment, just that instant of --

“Intentional, “ he corrected warmly, reaching out with his casted hand of all things to poke his lover gingerly in the nose. “I want to teach you. - we are not starting with pancakes though, ” he teased, snickering.

Then, the air grew somber, and - “I wish you wouldn’t.” In turn, he did the same, brushing Tolliver’s hair out of his face the same way with his casted hand of all things. “It kills me that I do, I - I can take care of myself, y’know? - I’ll be okay. Every time.”

He would never tire of looking at Hitch, and it didn’t matter what he looked like; as cliche as it might have seemed, Tolliver still found his boyfriend attractive, even after everything. The scars were there, certainly, and he wasn’t overlooking them, just taking them in, the flinch and the darkness in Hitch’s eyes making Tolliver’s heart ache. He swept his fingers over his temple, tender, gentle ministrations.

His eyes crinkled when his nose was poked, Tolliver’s hands falling back down to his lover’s shoulders.

“Fine, no pancakes,” he said obediently, and then softened a little, the smile flickering away to something a lot quieter, a lot more serious, very much in tune with the expression on Hitch’s face. He knew all of that, he did, and yet -

“The worry doesn’t go away just because I want it to,” Tolliver said, and it wasn’t angry, just rueful, almost wistful, Tolliver leaning closer to rest his forehead against his lover’s. “I know you can take care of yourself, but I also want to take care of you, because I love you. It just sort of...it’s a habit, y’know, one that’s hard to break.”

His lips brushed Hitch’s temple.

“I just don’t want my happiness to be taken away from me,” Tolliver murmured, a little smile on his face, in spite of the seriousness of the conversation. “I worry about you, not me. Or maybe I’m just being selfish about it, that could be it too.”