Welcome to Gaia! ::

Pat exited the ER doors and took a deep breath. The smell of exhaust and dirt quickly burned the memories of blood and antiseptic from his nose, even if it couldn't do anything for his heart or mind. He had just gotten off of a call after bringing in a kid with a broken leg, the dad said she fell down the stairs but the bruises that were forming sure as hell didn't look natural. He wanted to punch someone... Particularly the father and his buddy could tell so he told Pat to go cool down while he dealt with the paperwork.

He cradled the cold can of soda and dearly wished it was a beer as he made his way over to a simple bench that was currently being occupied by a doc, if the scrubs were any indication. Not for the first time did Pat feel a flash of sympathy and relief towards doctors in general. He felt glad that he didn't have to be hip deep in the pain and suffering of others 24/7 but he also knew what it was like to deal with those situations. By riding in the ambulances his contact with the injured were normally and relatively brief but docs... There jobs were just beginning when Pat's was done.

Pausing the tall redhead politely asked, "mind if I join you?" He didn't really wait for a response before he settled down at the other end of the bench, his legs stretched out in front of him and his head tilted back. For a brief moment he kept his eyes closed before, calming his thoughts, before he opened them, took a chug of the soda, and began to watch the clouds drift across the sky. "It's hard to believe such evil can belong in such a beautiful world." The comment just slipped out as he watched a some kind of bird soar between the buildings lazily.

"You know.... evil, chaos, Eris, darkness, the devil, badness, dicks who beat on little girls just because they can...." Pat kept his eyes on the clouds, but the sound of the soda can crinkling in his grip revealed just how agitated he still was. The redhead stayed that way for a few more moments before shifting untill he was sitting properly, and less like a rag doll and cradled the can in his hands.

"Sorry doc, didn't mean to interrupt your thoughts. Just had a bad run is all." Like the man beside him, Pat's uniform marked him as a EMT. One of the many who routinely bring in the injured and dying into the ER, it's even possible these two had passed at some point not that they would have ever actually noticed since they would have been focused on their jobs at the time.

With a sigh Pat glanced over at the man beside him, "I just don't understand people. Why would someone hurt a child? Why would a grown person deliberately hurt someone weaker then them?" His purple eyes were shadowed and distant as the EMT took a swig of his soda. He remembered how that little girl looked as they arrived, how she finched at the hand her father placed on her shoulder... God he really wished he could have decked that b*****d.

“My coworker is doing it. He is actually the one who sent me out here to decompress. I think he was expecting me to break the guy's nose… Not like a hospital wouldn't be the perfect place for it, immediate service and all that, but it tends to look bad.” Pat’s smile was more sarcasm then amusement but it was better then the anger he had rolling in his belly. “Besides there is no actual proof that its abuse or even that it's her father who is the abuser so yeah I’ll leave it to you guys and sit out here like a child who was put on time out.” Life was cruel and mean and there was nothing the redhead could do about it but he could at least take pleasure in the little things like the blue sky, the bird wheeling free in the air, the soda that was almost empty, and the fact that at least he was helping others in some little way.

Taking a deep, bracing breath, Pat did his best to center himself. His shift wasn’t over and he would be no help to anyone if he brooded over something he couldn’t change. After a moment he shrugged and asked, “So what brings you out here doc? Your day going any better then mine?”

Being put on suspension was the least of Pat’s worries if he actually had decked the guy. There were whole legal ramifications that could have come down on his head. He could even lose his job over it and then where would he be? It wasn’t like he didn’t have savings, he had some stashed away but this, helping others, this is what he loved to do. “I know,” he finished off his soda and just cradled the empty can in his fingers, “it still would have felt so good though.” He knew what it felt like to punch someone in the nose, to feel it break. He might have been an EMT, a healer, but he was no stranger to fights. But there was a time and a place for such a scuffle and the ER was not one of them so yeah, Pat had to let the b*****d go. He had to leave him to the proper authorities and hope that for once, they got it right. He didn’t want to be called to a scene where he was too late. No one won on those particular nights. No one.

s**t. Even verbalizing the curse didn’t show just how sorry Pat was that the Doc had lost another patient. Sadly it was a hazard of the job. The knowledge that there was just nothing more you could do but that feeling, that whispering little voice in the depths of one’s brain, that said ‘but what if?’ What if you had done this? What if you had used this? What if… It was stuff that haunted him and he was only a first responder. How much worse was it for a Doctor?

“Sometimes there is nothing you can do.” The redhead stared off into the streets of the city. He was well acquainted with the ‘what if’ voice. He remembered something his mom use to say to him when he voiced such concerns to her, she had even given him a necklace with the prayer inscribed on it. “Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” He had lost that necklace a while ago but the phrase was still ingrained on his heart.

There wasn’t really anything Pat could add. He knew that sometimes you just needed someone else to say that there was nothing else that could be done, just as someone reminding you of the hazards of punching someone’s face in was needed. A voice that wasn’t your own that said what you were doing is correct because it was hard to ignore that where as it was easy to doubt yourself. He even remained quiet as the doc got up, only nodding at his acknowledgment. “Hey doc,” he spoke up when the doctor had taken a few steps away. “There is something my partner says after a bad day. Maybe it will help some.” He paused a moment, gathering the thought, before quoting, “‘Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.’ I think it's his way of reminding us on those days when we just want to break that we can’t focus on what we can’t change, only on what is going on now.”

“Yo, Lucky!” A voice in the distance called out, a figure in a uniform like Pat’s motioned him to come on.

“It seems like it’s time for me to get on the road as well.” Pat smiled and stood, if his smile wasn’t as bright as it could have been or that it never reached his eyes who could blame him. He tipped an imaginary hat at the doc as he tossed his empty soda can in a nearby trash bin. “I hope your night goes better doc.” With that he headed over to his buddy and soon was gone. They might run into each other again. Then again maybe not. The ER is always a busy place, it took real skill and nerves of steal to work there.