Brief Description of Appearance: One of Loula's best features (in her opinion) is her bushy, luxurious tail. She's always been a bit of a rebel from other Imps, mostly uninterested in traveling and hard labor. As such, her fur is kept pristine and white, and her peachy-pink base coat is always velvety soft. She keeps her hair short and out of her way. Loula has a tendency toward pastels and rhinestones, with skirts and fancy blouses.
edit: custom form
Name: Loula Starting Stage: Junior Race: Imp Base: B
Description:
Body: Longer fur (arms/legs, neck fluff) is cream (see palette), while the belly, face, throat, and underside of the tail is pink (see palette). Eyes: blue (see palette) Hair: 15, pink/cream gradient/fade Clothes: CC? Horns: 1, cream Tail: cream with pink underside Claws: pink
References (if applicable):color palette Cost: 175k (i think?)
Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:35 pm
A rebel from the start, Loula has shirked her duties from a young age. Being the single, beloved, and doted on daughter of a major caravan boss, she usually got her way, whether it was by pouting, tantrums, or causing workplace "accidents" that labeled her unfit to work. The only thing she did enjoy was her mother's jewelrymaking and enchanting. Love spells, good luck charms, rings that would do away with fear and anxiety, circlets to enhance memory... Loula's mother was everything she ever wanted to be, but illness took her far too early. Without her mother there to guide her, Loula grew ever more resentful of caravan life. That glittering light of gems and magic was gone, and all she had left was the secret passed down to her about the true nature of the enchantments on the jewelry.
"There is no spell that can make someone love another. There is no spell to guarantee success. What I give these people is nothing more than courage and perseverance. The courage to take a leap of faith and do what they need to. The drive to see things through to the end, whether it be bitter or sweet. That, my child, is the only magic I cast. To help them do things by themselves."
And so, Loula took a leap. Then a bound. She ran away from her remaining family and the caravan, leaving only a note to her father explaining that she would be leaving and going to school to learn her mother's craft, and to let her go and come back on her own.
Loula is no orphan, but she doesn't flaunt that fact. She could play the "my father will hear about this!" card to get her way, but she's not mean-spirited like that. However, choosing to remain quiet about her family isn't out of care for those who are orphans, either. What she wants most is to be independent. And that means walking a path separate from what was chosen for her at birth. She prefers not to talk about her family very much, lest she become homesick and break her promise to herself not to return until she has graduated.
Positive traits: Determination, stubbornness, dexterity Negative traits: STUBBORNNESS, a bit of a diva, more likely to burn bridges than to make amends. Likes: jewels, gemstones, precious metals, the color pink, keeping her tail clean and fluffy, magic. Dislikes: Dirt, physical labor, strong smells, rain (it ruins her floofy fur!), being recognized as the daughter of a caravan boss. Hobbies: art, jewelry-making, sewing, crocheting, enchanting.
prompt: Oh no! Your Nightmare has lost something that is very dear them! What have they lost, and how do they react?
edit: to clarify, this is in junior stage.
"No. No, no, no, no. It has to be here, it just has to be!"
Loula frantically paws through her chest of trinkets, scattering gems of all colors across the floor. At this moment, she doesn't care how much work it'll be to round them up again. All that matters is her abalone-shell comb.
~
"Mama, what's that?"
"Ah, this is an abalone. It's like an oyster. You know, the ones we harvest pearls from?"
"But it's so bi~g! Is there a giant pearl inside?"
"Well... Come, sit on my lap and I'll show you."
~
Tears run down her cheeks. Her eyes grow red and puffy as she begins to panic. Her most beloved gift from her mother, and now it's gone. It just couldn't be happening. Loula prays to wake up from this nightmare, but even the pricks and cuts from earring posts and wayward bits of shells and obsidian don't jar her awake.
"Please... Please, no... Where is it? Mama... Where?"
Despite the spots of blood on them, Loula holds her face in her hands and sobs. Really, she's much too old for this. She's supposed to be stronger than this. But...
~
"Waah~ It's beautiful!"
"Isn't it? I can scrape and polish off the dull parts on the outside, and then the whole shell will be shiny just like the inside. It's called 'mother of pearl'."
"Just like you!"
"Oh, you--! Yes, yes, you're my little treasure, my beautiful little pearl. Tell you what. If you work really hard with Dad today and come see me after dinner, I'll have a gift for you. Deal?"
"Deal!"
~
Heartbroken and discouraged, Loula eventually gives up. She leaves her treasures scattered about-- they're not important enough to be cleaned up right now. She's exhausted from crying, still shaking and hiccuping now and then. Her precious white fur is stained with tears and blotches of blood. Pain has finally reached her hands, and they sting and throb with her pulse. Loula crawls into her bed and pulls the quilt over her head. She's so tired now. She wouldn't mind not waking up. The last memory she had of her mother is gone.
As she slips her hand under her pillow to get comfortable, however...
"Oh..!"
Loula jumps up and tosses the pillow aside. Underneath it is the comb her mother gave her. Tears p***k at her eyes again, of joy rather than despair, and she clutches the comb to her chest. She'd forgotten... She'd slept in by accident and stuffed it under her pillow instead of in the chest where it belongs.
Relieved but still exhausted, Loula lies back down and falls asleep, cradling her mother-of-pearl comb.
Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:06 pm
Crit Incoming!
Aaa! I'm so glad you decided to stick around! :> Just so you know, the crit process is so you can fix things up with your characters to make them fit the shop. We do have some criteria on what a completed quest should be like, so please don't feel like you're doing a bad job! Most quests require at least one passover to be fixed up, and having more than one is not a bad thing! With that, let's get on!
Your Zodiac sign for Loula is actually incorrect! Here at Nightmare Academy, we use our own Zodiac signs, found here. They're very similar to our zodiac though, so I'm sure you'll find one that fits her!
For your description of Loula, we actually prefer either a list of what colors or traits you want. The easiest way to do this is to put in your custom form under a spoiler tag! That way, if she were to be picked up by a colorist, every bit of information they would need is right there. :>
You're actually missing quite a few things in your next post! We like to look for a general personality, how they feel about their race, and how they feel about their house in the Academy. We also like to see their positive and negative traits expanded upon to see how they effect the character in question. If you would like a good example, I highly recommend looking at some of the accepted or filled quests in this subforum!
We also require a generalized backstory or history of the character and one event that has shaped them to become who they are. This can be anything as simple as making a friend, to a traumatic event. It's all up to you!
Going on to look at what you have so far, I really like her backstory, especially her connection to her mother. I don't think a child her age would be forced to work, however, under any circumstances. Think of the world as similar to our own in that regard, and how important labor laws protecting children have become. I also am not sure if running away would be feasible for her. Would she run while in a major city like Asphodel? If it was another city, how would she have gotten to the Academy? I'm fairly certain the Academy doesn't just take in runaways either. Wouldn't her father come after her? I'd love to see some expansion here!
Please also keep in mind that enchanting takes a lot of energy and can be physically exhausting to a Nightmare. How would Loula feel about this, considering she dislikes that sort of thing? Is there a reason she dislikes rain as well?
Prompts also need to be written at the stage you are questing your Nightmare, so in this case, you need to write her as a Freshling. The only instances you can write as a different stage are if you're questing an infant or a soulstone, in which case they must be written as Freshlings.
All in all, you've got a very good start though! I'm pretty sure you could modify your response to be from her as a Freshling (and in all honesty, it could still work). Give me a quote once you're ready for a critique again, and PM me if you have any questions!
