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Since moving in with Jack and BJ and Ducky Vanessa had started buying a s**t ton of Febreeze. Jack smoked like a chimney, and liked leaving the butts all over the house that the four of them shared- usually tucked into something like a beer can or the pot part of a plant she was trying to nurture. Vanessa had given him a piece of her mind more than once, and gotten loud enough about it that he'd taken to smoking on the balcony. When she was at home. When she was out (and that was frequently), Vanessa would return to the scent of cigarettes on the air, dirty mags and beer cans scattered around the sofa. Like she lived in a frat house or something.

She loved it a little bit. Except for the smell.

The boys were good to her, and they did not mind if Vanessa brought anyone home from the bar after midnight. Not that she had, but she was sure that they would not care if she did It was different from living with her father, who had never approved of Blake and who had made a face over the news that she was moving in with three strange young men. It was not so different from living with John Jr, who left his socks and underwear lying all over the place for her to pick up too.

Colin was due to arrive within the hour. Vanessa was crumpled on the sofa in a position that could not truly have been comfortable, watching TV upside down with her bare feet on the wall. She reached with one hand for the bag of chips on the floor. In her other hand she wielded a can of Febreeze, finger on the trigger.

She stuffed her face with a handful of potato chips, and sent a a shower of Linen and Sky into the air above the couch. It misted all around her.

On the TV folks in the Big Brother (season 35) house were whispering about whether or not Paul and Michael were really triplets and not just twins. Vanessa was rapt with attention.

'Delivery!'

Colin had one of Vanessa's favourite voices in the whole world. In part because it was always so happy, but mostly because it belonged to him. A smile the size of the sun split her pretty face in two. Vanessa shoved the can of Febreeze between a set of sofa cushions, and sucked the salt from the potato chips off her fingers so quickly that her lips smacked twice. She laughed at herself, too alone to be embarassed over the sound, and probably too shameless to have cared anyways.

On her way to the front door she spotted a pair of boxers on the floor. Having no way of knowing whether or not they were supposed to be in a laundry hamper, unsure of who they belonged to in the first place, Vanessa made a little detour and kicked them down the basement stairs.

A pair of male voices carried up through the open door. It sounded as though BJ and Ducky were arguing, in good humour, over the best way to twist apart an Oreo to get at the creamy filling inside. It smelled as though they were smoking weed. Vanessa made a mental note to go buy herself another box of cookies, and then went to embrace her visitor.

"Hey!" She beamed at Colin upon opening the door, stepping aside with a graceful arm flourish to let him inside. "Welcome to my humble abode. I know you've already been here but I just never get tired of saying that."

They were just renting. Vanessa's name was not even on the lease. But of the four of them, it was she who put the most effort into maintaining the space as a home instead of an empty, spiritless shell for sleeping, and eating, and other carnal things.

There was so much about Colin to love. Vanessa wrapped her arms around his neck when he swept her off the floor, laughed in his ear, heart answering his warm embrace with a joyous thudding;

'Yes, yes, yes,' it pulsed as he spun her around. Made her feel, just for a moment, like she was one of his beautiful dancing partners.

"Oh, they're good!" She meant the plants, and her roommates. It was only partially true- there was a fern in a corner near the television that looked a little bit drowned, and a sprig of bamboo in a pot on the kitchen table that could probably have used replanting. But they were alive. Vanessa told herself that was what counted.

It was only right, when Colin made himself at home. Vanessa went to get them both something to drink, and was not watching when he retrieved her gift from inside his bag.

"Hmmmm?" She asked, turning from the refrigerator with a bottle of flavoured water in one hand and a can of Iced T in the other. She used her foot to double-check that the fridge closed, and then looked to Colin, whole face lighting up at the sight of the bright wrapping paper.

"Colin! It's not even my birthday!" A present! For her? He really shouldn't have. But Vanessa was delighted that he had. She had never had a friend who'd brought her nice things for no apparent reason before. It was a lot for Vanessa, who considered Colin's friendship a gift in and of itself. He had stepped into her life at a time when she had badly needed someone like him- had helped her push the darkness away with his shine.

Smiling wide, Vanessa hurried to join Colin on the couch, trading out their drinks for the gift in his lap. She sat closer than was probably necessary, found a strip of tape with her fingernail, started to chip away at it.

A pause, after a moment. Vanessa cradled the gift, still wrapped, in her arms. Leaned sideways so that she could kiss Colin's cheek.

"Thank you," she murmured, expression thoughtful. And then she returned to unwrapping whatever it was that Colin had brought for her. She tried to be careful with the paper, at first, but it was not long before impatience got the better of her and she was tearing it away with gusto.

After a string of bad relationships, it was in Colin's friendship that Vanessa had found her centre again. He was as dear to her as a brother. They shared clothes and laughter and strength- that being the most important of all. She kept nothing from Aegir, and did not expect or anticipate anything from him other than that dynamite smile. When he could not smile, for whatever reason, they shared either hot chocolate or wine and she ran her fingers through his curls while he worked out his hurt.

He did not need to give her anything. And the t-shirt was enough of a treasure on it's own. Vanessa positively lit up when she saw it. Declared that she would wear it that very night, lifting it out of the box by the sleeves- the DVD and the VHS thunked against the box as the shirt unravelled. Vanessa looked at them.

And stared.

And stared.

"Oh, Colin.."

The tears came fast. Choking her with surprise. And then happiness, and then disbelief. Vanessa pressed her fingers to her lips.

"... A-are these...?"

Vanessa knew what they were. She turned to gape at Colin, eyes shining like stars.

"Where did you find them?"

Vanessa's mother was a dancer. The same way that Colin was a dancer. They even belonged to the same company- and it was such that the first time Vanessa had gone to watch Colin dance that she experienced vague flashbacks of sitting in the exact same auditorium. At a different eye level. She was small enough back then to stand on her chair without getting in anybody's way.

"Colin."

Her voice cracked under the weight of her gratitude. She didn't want to let go of the tape, and so ended up returning Colin's hug with it still clasped in one hand.

"I don't know how to thank you for this."

Probably she couldn't. Not adequately.

Vanessa sniffled. Tried to stop the tears that kept slipping down her cheeks, but they belonged more to the ache of joy and surprise in her chest than they did to her.

In his grief after Nina's death John -Vanessa's father- had done everything he could to wipe the memory of her from his life. Vanessa had photos of her still. Like this tape, they had been gifts. From her grandparents. From her mother's friends.

Smiling so big that it hurt her face, Vanessa stared down at the tape in her hands.

"She was so beautiful, you know? Ah, Colin!" She threw her arms around him again. Pecked him on the lips with her lips and then pulled back beaming again. "I feel like my heart is going to explode! Can we watch it? Let's watch it!"