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 Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 9:25 am
So Tolliver had something he had to do back at the loft, which was fine; more and more of his things were finding their way into their cramped little apartment, and somehow they made it work. Really, the place felt no less cluttered than it had before Tolliver; new stuff meant the both of them had to clean up (by the way, Hitch was sort of embarrassed to realize he hadn't really kept s**t half as neat as he thought he was... he'd tried and all, but time and energy were two precious ******** commodities for him okay).
Long short short, Hitch was taking advantage of his half day off to try and make something legit for Tolliver for once, not something simple like pasta or chicken nuggets or hot dogs. Like, something real. It wouldn't be great, no, but he'd still put all his effort into it and hopefully pull together something decent.
So there he was leaning over the stove with a cookbook flipped open to sausages and peppers, which yeah he sort of knew how to make but he just wanted to do it right, and he was doing some sort of tomato sauce with it, and - basically s**t was all over the counter, the pot was bubbling and boiling away, Hitch had the pasta ready to go, and he had his phone playing music on full, tinny blast to keep him focused. He was the type to miss steps if he got too distracted, he knew that, so --
-- he realized about halfway through the process that he honestly had no ******** idea if Tolliver even liked sausages. Like, he liked hot dogs sure, but sausages were different. For all Hitch knew his boyfriend might hate these, and the fact that he didn't know made him frown. He really felt like he should. So he pressed on making them, but thought maybe he should make something extra, just in case. Maybe just a plain pasta? But that was so --
Anyway. He stayed indecisive as hell, still debating it when the music finally did the inevitable and dragged him in: it was Nirvana, what was he supposed to do, really? At first he was more just kind of tapping his thigh and his foot, enjoying the beat, but about halfway through...
"I'm so tired I can't sleep!
I'm a liar and a thief!
Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea!
I'm anemic royaltyyyy~!"
Hitch's singing wasn't terrible, exactly - but it was not under any circumstances good either. Still, he was home and he was alone, so it wasn't like anyone would hear him singing along. Right?
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 8:20 pm
Tolliver's business at the loft had originally been to try and see if he could get more clothes out of it while Fritz was working. Not that he was necessarily moving in with Hitch (he felt a thrill and a fear just thinking about it), but he was at the very least spending most of his nights there, so he might as well have some things to wear while there. A few other small things had also found their way into the apartment; a toothbrush here, a hairbrush there. Small things that sent a stupid rush of giddy pleasure through Tolliver every time he saw them.
Most unfortunately, his plans were relatively foiled, because Fritz was at home, and the ensuing argument - which lasted all of five minutes as Tolliver tried to explain things - had ended in Fritz merely dismissing his feelings, yet again, and Tolliver storming off as best he could, a bag over his shoulder.
As he walked back, pace slow and steady, he could feel a bit of the anger melting away, replaced by a cold sadness that ate away at him. Tolliver tugged a lock of his hair and ascended the steps that led up to the door painstakingly and carefully, cautious about taking the right amount of breaks to ease the throb of physical therapy.
He had his own key. Tolliver stuck it in the lock and turned it, and he was as silent as ever as he slipped in and shut the door behind him, giving the key a silly sort of smile before tucking it safely away like it was some precious thing to be kept (it was).
Loud singing could be heard coming from the kitchen. Tolliver tilted his head, and padded softly over, peering around the corner to find Hitch standing at the stove, mixing...well, whatever he was mixing, and singing a song that Tolliver only vaguely recognized as one of the songs on the lists Hitch had left him.
He didn't say anything at all, just stood there and listened, a little smile on his face, because Hitch singing and dancing around while he cooked was absolutely delightful; and it was just seeing him like that, lost in his own world, that made Tolliver feel a fresh surge of adoration and happiness.
He waited until there was a break in the lyrics, and then Tolliver said softly, still peering around the wall, "I'm home."
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2015 7:50 am
See, Hitch had been just about ready to check the sauce in the interim between choruses when - *ting*, his spoon slipped from his fingers and hit the floor. He whirled around, eyes wide, a flush of embarrassment flooding his cheeks as he choked on air.
It probably wasn't even that big of a deal (to anyone else anyway) but he looked like an idiot, he knew he looked like an idiot, he'd deliberately been an idiot because no one would know he was being an idiot, and -- well ******** him. Not to mention he'd stupidly jumped and now his ******** heart was pounding out of his chest and SAY SOMETHING HITCH GODDAMNIT.
"I... guuuuess that one goes out to you then, babe?" He knew how lame it sounded. He knew how stupid he probably looked saying it. Without looking, he fumbled to shut off the music, but since he'd already talked once and knew that was about as stupid as the way he'd looked when Tolliver came in the door, it started: "There's a reason I'm the drummer and not the singer!"
He laughed and inwardly cringed as he reached down and grabbed the spoon. "Uh, so, how was your day babe? Was everythin' okay? Did you get what you needed? - do you like sausage? I'm makin' sausage. An' stuff." The trainwreck. The rambling, unending trainwreck. "I just realized I don't know, an' I probably should've asked before I - ********' s**t, should've just gone with balls, mother fuc-- "
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:17 pm
He'd apparently startled Hitch, judging by his reaction. Tolliver blinked at him, at the red that painted his cheeks and the wide-eyed expression of what could only be described as horror on his handsome face. And for a few seconds, it seemed he was completely frozen in place.
Tolliver didn't answer the questions at first. Instead he just listened to the flustered words, biting his lip, and then he nodded, and he shouldn't have found the fact that Hitch was floundering around endearing, but he did, and he was stupidly pleased with his stupid life right now.
"It was all right," he said, letting the bag slide slowly to the floor beside him, because carrying it any longer took too much effort. Tolliver absently twisted one of the rings on his fingers - a small, black spinner band that he'd gotten several years past and that he was mostly just wearing to have something to do with his hands. "Fritz was there."
He was smiling a little.
"I like sausage," said Tolliver gently. "Are you - are you cooking for us?"
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 6:58 am
Hitch quickly bent and retrieved the spoon, hastily tossing it into the sink and trying to regain his composure in spite of his red, flustered face. "Fritz?" His brow furrowed and he frowned deeply at the mere mention of him, crossing the room to scoop his boyfriend's bag up for him and then ran his fingers gently, tenderly over Tolliver's clothed shoulder. "Did he...?"
He hesitated, only because he didn't want to push. He did not want to make what might already be painful worse.
"Oh thank ******** god, " he liked sausage after all. "Good, " he breathed out, smiling his lopsided smile and shrugging his shoulders a little awkwardly as he went to go deposit Tolliver's bag by the mattress. It was where it'd end up soon anyway with more clothes to process and put away. Little things, he always took care of the little things. "Yeah, it's - I don't know how good it'll be, I haven't done a whole ********' sauce deal in awhile, so sorry if it sucks - you can taste it if you want though - "
With a moment of hesitation, he finally asked, a little more softly and without the playfully self-deprecating edge, "What kinda foods don't you like anyway? - or do you? - I realized, I've been cookin' all this s**t an' you never told me what you actually like."
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 4:16 pm
He shook his head once, as though to indicate that he wasn't quite sure he could even say how he felt. "He was there, and it was...less than pleasant," Tolliver said softly, and he leaned into the touch for a second, simply basking in the warmth of Hitch's hand on his shoulder. "He tried to tell me the same things he always as.
And more, said his mind, but he pushed these thoughts away.
While Hitch was moving his bag, Tolliver peered curiously at the dishes on the stove and the delicious smelling food that was beginning to cook. He turned his head slightly to glance back up at his lover, a little smile on his face, and Tolliver leaned over, pressing a brief kiss to his cheek.
"You're wonderful," he said affectionately, and there was a light blush to his face. "I like...most things, really, except for anything spicy. I'm not a huge fan of anything that requires me to drink a lot of milk or water afterwards while my throat's on fire."
A pause, and then he said tentatively, "Sweet things are my favorite. And coconut flavored things, or, erm, steak."
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Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2015 7:14 am
Hitch bit back a familiar wave of annoyance that surged every time Fritz got involved - for good ******** reason - and focused on throwing his lover a caring glance before he made the trek across the room, swiping his index finger quickly beneath his lover's chin. "Tell me about it?" Not even remotely a demand, more an invitation, open-ended and easily refused if it was too much for him.
A light splash of color crept onto Hitch's cheeks at the praise and he laughed it off, reaching around to poke his lover sweetly on the tip of his nose. "Not as wonderful are you were last night, babe, " and he winked, knowing full well what kind of reaction he'd get.
As for the bag - "After dinner, I can help unpack?" he offered with a lopsided grin, leaning over just slightly so a tiny fraction of his weight pressed against Tolliver, shoulder to shoulder, not enough to throw him off balance or anything close. Just one more tiny gesture of affection that he always gave so freely.
He tried not to laugh when he heard about the spicy s**t. Like usual, he failed miserably. "You're so lucky I didn't get the spicy sausage for this babe. Somethin' ********' told me... wait, ********, I'm the lucky one, " he realized a little late, laughing harder - and at such a stupid thing, but - "I was so ********' set to make somethin' else if sausages were too - I don't know, phallic for your English sensibilities or somethin'." He flashed him a toothy grin, slinging an arm over his shoulder for a few seconds before he realized -
"Oh, wait. s**t. Coconut." He released Tolliver and practically flung himself at the laundry basket. Which probably made little to no sense until he came up with a pair of his dirty work pants and fished a slightly bent, but otherwise probably totally fine Almond Joy bar out of an oversized pocket. Then, he proudly brandished it for Tolliver to take, leaving him no real time to debate it - he shoved it into the palm of his hand and was already back in the kitchen, stirring the sauce. "I had half the other day for lun -- " Rephrase that. Backpedal man, backpedal like the wind. " -- uh, durin' my lunch break. So enjoy. Don't spoil your dinner or nothin', okay? -- oh, by the way, speakin' of food, I never told you -- "
He glanced back at his lover, his brow furrowed and resolute because this was absolutely serious business. "No lettuce. No yogurt. I don't want them in my ********' fridge. Do not kiss me with yogurt breath. I will die. Y'hear me?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 19, 2015 12:47 pm
The smile Tolliver gave Hitch wasn't a happy one, but a tired one as his chin was lifted, slightly wan. He raised his own hand and took ahold of Hitch's, pressing a light kiss to his fingertips before letting go. "I will," he promised. "After dinner, I kind of need to wrap my head around it a little."
His nose wrinkled a little, a blush spreading across his cheeks, and damn it if Hitch was not ridiculously capable of saying things that made him outrageously flustered all the time. And Hitch knew exactly what he was doing, which made it all the more simultaneously embarrassing and wonderful.
Tolliver nodded at the offer, and then he was practically choking, because phallic, really, Hitch, really. He leaned into Hitch for a moment and tried to hide his wildly blushing face from view, turning to the side and mumbling something that sounded like, "You're so silly."
But in spite of Hitch being as teasing as he was, Tolliver still adored him. He watched in slight confusion as his lover bounded off, only to return seconds later with a chocolate bar that was pushed into his hands. And not only just a chocolate bar, but ironically, Tolliver's favorite. He seemed to have missed the hasty cover up, whether fortunately or unfortunately, and instead just unwrapped the bar and took a bite. It was a little melted, but Tolliver's happy expression clearly indicated that he didn't care.
His eyebrows raised a little, and then Tolliver was giggling, lifting his hand to cover his mouth.
"Not a fan of yogurt?" he asked, because it was just so stupidly endearing, or maybe he was just stupidly too much in love.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 7:10 am
Hitch didn't know what he felt more when he saw that smile; sad that his lover was aching so deeply and he was part of the cause (whether his boyfriend wanted to admit it or not), or angry that Tolliver's twin just kept rubbing salt into the wounds he kept soothing. Either way, he didn't show it. Instead, he reached up and ruffled his hair affectionately, easing in to press his lips to Tolliver's forehead. "Take your time babe. I'm here whenever, alright?" It felt like the best he could do; he wasn't satisfied with it, but it'd have to do.
Little moments like that, by the way, Tolliver leaning into him and hiding his blush - it ******** made his day. He laughed as he kept that arm around his lover for a few seconds more before he dashed off, leaning in and nuzzling into his hair affectionately. Good. Let him call him silly. If it ******** cheered him up, Hitch would've done almost anything.
So when a tiny bar of chocolate and coconut made him smile like that, even if it was just for a few fleeting seconds, Hitch felt like he was on top of the ******** world, and it showed in his grin. Up until the yogurt thing.
"Yogurt is ********' gross a** s**t babe, " he said, so somberly and severely you'd think it murdered his father or something. "It's ******** curdled a** milk with ******** gross bacteria living in it, and we throw in this - " He clawed at the air with one hand, making a face of utter disgust. " - gross as soggy fruit an' s**t, an' it ******** smells like a**, an' - you ever smelled that s**t when someone left the goddamn stupid a** little cup out in the sun? It's so <******** nasty I could die."
He crossed his arms with a shudder followed by a huff, and then stood there in silence for a moment before adding, just in case he was in any way unclear: "No, not really a fan babe."
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 8:24 am
The affectionate ruffle to his hair was met with a shy smile, and since Tolliver didn't actually smile that often - because his mouth seemed not to know how to sometimes - it was somewhat of a rare smile as well; though he seemed to be doing a lot more smiling these days, even if it was only around Hitch.
He was still giggling a little at the yogurt thing, because, well, it was just so Hitch. But Tolliver tried to rearrange his face into a more appropriate expression of sympathy, even if he didn't quite manage. Inwardly, he was making notes of everything his boyfriend said, memorizing them so that he could remember them for later, remember each and every quirk of his, every like and dislike and love.
"It's all right," Tolliver said, once he'd managed to at least look like he was less laughing at Hitch and more just laughing with him. "I mean, I don't mind yogurt, but I promise you I won't bring it home if you really don't like it."
And he got a little thrill at home, because technically it was still Hitch's apartment, Tolliver feeling a soft swell of shame in the pit of his stomach, but he pushed it aside. Instead he ate another bite of his chocolate and wiped his mouth with his fingers.
"What other things don't you like?" he asked curiously.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 8:58 pm
Seriously, Hitch would have killed to see that smile, and then killed again to protect it. That's how important it was to him.
He threw Tolliver a playfully serious look (which sounded like a contradiction, but he made it work), furrowing his brows and pursing his lips all severely. "I don't think you get the severity of this bullshit, babe, " and he was trying so hard not to crack a smile. "Yogurt is my ********' nemesis. No, wait - my ********' kryptonite."
Since Tolliver asked - Hitch decided to go ahead and enlighten him as to why lettuce ******** sucked too. "Lemme ask you a question. You like the taste of shovin' your face into the dirt an' suckin' out the water? 'Cause lettuce is basically the crunchy version of that, an' it sticks in your goddamn teeth too. Like, come the ******** on, " and he wasn't really ranting at Tolliver, but maybe the world as a whole, clutching the spoon a little tighter as he stirred the sauce. "What's the ******** appeal? Why does every ********' restaurant wanna shove a salad in my face? Who even - why the ******** would anyone not get the soup? Soup is <********> awesome."
He huffed and turned around, then abruptly set the spoon down on the counter and reaching out, sliding a hand along Tolliver's chest. He'd gone from silly to sultry in probably about five seconds flat, and his tongue flicked out to run over his lips.
"Y'know what I do like, though?" and he purred in that playful way, leaning in closer still until they were mere inches apart - only to take his tongue and drag it over the corner of his lover's lips, now, wiping away a trace of the chocolate he'd missed.
So sue him. Who the ******** could resist?
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 11:34 pm
He loved seeing all of the different sides of Hitch, and there were different sides of him, as much as Hitch tried to pretend that there weren't. Tolliver took each and every one as though they were precious things, memorizing what he could for later so that he would be able to make things work between the two of them.
He gave a little laugh, unable to quite stifle it.
"Okay," said Tolliver, and he nodded, his hair flipping a little as he did so. "Okay, well, you - you kind of have a point with the lettuce. I've never really been a fan of it myself. I have to admit that I don't mind yogurt all that much, but..." He tried to hide his smile. "I like knowing more things about you, so I will try not to bring yogurt into the house..."
The hand suddenly on his chest made him catch his breath, Tolliver stammering a little on his last few words. And yet again, Hitch was managing to catch him off guard with that damned way of his, a half-strangled sound escaping his throat as Hitch's face was suddenly too close and he was licking the residue of chocolate from the corner of his mouth.
Tolliver felt his face burn.
"That - you're..." he mumbled, and looked away, but he couldn't quite hide the stupid little affectionate smile that tugged at his expression, Tolliver stubbornly resisting to show that he adored his boyfriend's antics, even when they flustered him to no end..
"...I like that too."
A pause, and then -
"You're going to burn the sauce."
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:01 am
Hearing his boyfriend concede that he was actually completely ******** right about lettuce practically made him puff up like he was a goddamn peacock - because Hitch didn't exactly have no ego, no, but he did love being right. (More than anything, he liked making Tolliver laugh when he had all the reason in the world to be down. Being right was just a nice little added bonus.)
Just like he savored being able to fluster Tolliver to no end, and he loved even more that Tolliver tried so damn hard to hide how much he loved it too. "I know you so, babe, " he purred back in response, reaching out to ruffle his lover's hair affectionately. He leaned in again for a second, just a second, pressing his forehead lightly to his boyfriend's temple, shutting his eyes and just sort of living in the moment.
Except there was one problem with the moment. "AW ********, the sauce!" he bellowed, spinning on his heel and dashing the few feet that separated him and his specially prepared meal. Fortunately - he breathed a sigh of relief as he stirred - no harm no foul. The water for the pasta had started bubbling over, but that was kind of whatever, he just had to turn the heat down and actually add the dry pasta.
"I like knowin' about you too, " he remarked without turning back, staring into the depths of the bubbling water. "Sometimes I feel like I know you, but... all of a sudden it'll hit me that I know jack s**t, y'know? Like, I don't know your favorite color. I've never heard your music. I didn't know you were cool with sausage - thank ********' god, " and he chuckled. "But I mean, I just - adore you an' s**t. An' you're my boyfriend. So I wanna know that stuff."
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 7:42 am
It was becoming easier to laugh around Hitch, easier to smile around him. It wasn't so much that Tolliver didn't like laughing or smiling with him, but his heart was always so drenched in depression in all of the anxieties that he carried with him, that sometimes it was simply hard to make himself react the way he wanted to. And while Hitch would never really take away his problems, he could make them easier to bear, and he supported Tolliver with them, helped at least to carry some of the weight.
Hitch's tendency to fluster him was also an added pleasure in his life, and Tolliver never would never admit it in a thousand years, but he rather liked that Hitch was capable of making him stammer and blush as much as he did. Tolliver felt his affection growing as Hitch leaned against him for a brief moment - at least until the sauce thing. Tolliver felt a little laugh bubble up in his throat, and he padded halfway over to his boyfriend.
The blush increased, and his feet slowed their steps, because this was what he meant - sometimes he felt like he was doing just fine, and then Hitch had to go and say something wonderful like this and catch him off balance again. Some of the anxiety crept back into him, but Tolliver took a deep breath and forced himself to move, standing next to Hitch and leaning against the corner, facing the opposite direction.
"...lavender," he said, after a moment's pause, voice shy and hesitant. "I like lavender. Erm. I like...a lot of different types of music." He lifted a hand, tugging at his hair in a gesture that was mostly idle so he could have something to do. "All types, in fact, except maybe bluegrass."
He was blushing harder now.
"I like...movies," said Tolliver. "And, um...well, you knew I used to be a deejay back in England already. I like dogs better than cats, though I'm a little allergic to the latter. I much prefer the heat to the cold, because I can never seem to get warm. I love thunderstorms and rain."
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 7:58 am
Hitch felt Tolliver's presence there, catching him out of the corner of his eye without looking directly at him - he flicked his tongue over over the back of his piercing and smiled to himself, busying himself with making sure the pasta and all cooked right, although he was honestly paying more attention to what his boyfriend was saying.
"Lavender. Like the Heartsease, right?" he asked, throwing a pinch of salt here, tasting a little something there. He made a face and threw in a little pepper, "Good. Bluegrass sucks a**. - but do you have a favorite? Like, artist or genre or whatever?" To be fair, when it came to musical tastes, that was one thing about Hitch that was abundantly clear; he liked rock. He liked grunge. He tolerated other stuff, had some Sia on his phone along with the rest, but he didn't branch out much and he didn't have a TV, a computer, or even a radio set up to listen to anything new.
The questions kept coming, spiced with tiny glances thrown his lover's way. "Which movies? - what was the weirdest call you ever got as a DJ? - how allergic are you to cats?" He thought back to the one that'd awakened him and resisted the urge to cringe; what if she came back to visit? s**t. "I can keep you warm in the winter, " and his cheeks burned at that, because it was really the only 'long term' kind of s**t either of them had thrown out there, and he made sure to follow it up with more real fast so it'd get lost a little. "I love rain too - thunderstorms pump me up, " and he laughed, turning and coming at Tolliver with a spoon, cupping his hand underneath. "********' blow this an' try it already. - I offered you a taste like 20 minutes ago y'know. - limey jerk."
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