The familiar comrade of Cyrus, Joe the Pizza guy appeared over the titantron between matches. The open beach stretched behind him, fans crowded the area and music was blasting on the beach. "Good evening Corpus Christi, Texas! I'm standing just outside the arena at the second annual beach party hosted none other by the man the world isn't ready for, Cyrus the Dream Everblaze!" The camera panned to the left as Joe looked to his comrade "Cyrus, you want to tell everyone what you have got set up this year?"

"Absolutely Bill!" Cyrus sipped his beer and led his way through the party. "I went all out this year. Over here we have the all you can eat buffet, one that Fatsumoto himself couldn't finish. As well as the piiiiiiizzzza bar!"

"No Mushrooms?"

"That's right Jerry, no mushrooms here!"

Joe crooked his head to the side and pointed to an empty jar on the edge of the table. "What's with the jar?"

"I'm glad you asked that question, that is the Salem Croft emergency two cents fund. Sadly no one gives a s**t."

"That's a shame Cyrus! Oh well, moving on!"

"We of course have all the best games going on, you know: women playing beach volley ball, beer pong, wet t-shirt contests, ultimate frisbee, and my personal favorite, pin the weave on the Jack Arson poster!"

"It looks tough."

"Oh trust me, getting hair as fake as that to stay on has to take some commitment." Cyrus looked at the camera. "Don't forget, this party is going for a full 48 hours, so come on out and party with us! Everyone's welcome! Let's just hope we don't have another beached whale incident like last year. That was a tragedy."

"Cyrus, I keep telling you, that was Whale Helmet."

"The ******** a Whale Helmet?!"