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 Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 2:40 pm
"The following contest is a tornado tag team match, and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first..."
Weather: Clear, night sky.
Wind: 7 mph
Temperature: 89 degrees Fahrenheit.
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 7:55 am
... dudu dudu dunn...As a drum starts to beat, accompanied by a melodic and peaceful piano tune, the screen cross-fades to the video playing on the titantron. Set in slow-motion, a wave calmly crashes into a golden beach. Some people stand in the darkness
Afraid to step into the light
Some people need to help somebody
When the edge of surrender’s in sight...
Don’t you worry!
Its gonna be alright!As the soothing words of Jimi Jameson began to play over the PA, the calm beach scenery slowly panned to a shot of two gentlemen, looking out into the distance. One, large and fat, had his hands placed on his hips. The other, shorter and more slender, had had one hand shading his eyes from the sun. Both, of course, wore their recognisable headgear; it was Whale Helmet and Tiger Hat - the Ocean Safari! And just in case this wasn't obvious, as the video suddenly sped up to reach a dramatic sunset visual, on the screen - in a fancy white font - were the bold letters: OCEAN SAFARI
I’ll be ready
I’ll be reeEAAaady!
Never you fear
NoOoo don’t you fear!
I’ll be ready
Forever and always
I’m always heeeere!!As the chorus rang true, the video continued to roll! Once again, it cut, to an even more dramatic shot than the last; SLOW MOTION RUNNING! First up, Tiger Hat! However, this was not a traditional run. Low to the ground, using both arms to push himself forward, the start of his run was that of a wild cat. The sand launched up behind him, covering some unsuspecting beach goers. They shielded their eyes as their look of disgust was captured perfectly in slow motion. SUDDEN CUT AGAIN! An open beach shot, and a close up of Tiger Hat. He slowly turned, winking at the camera and putting up two fingers, in the globally-acknowledged 'peace' sign, stopping as a still image. Underneath him, in white letters: Featuring TIGER HAT Of course, what's a tag team without a second person? However, it just wasn't in Whale Helmet's nature to run. Instead, the camera slowly panned as he lay on the beach, soaking in the rays with an ice cream in his hand. As he turned to the camera, taking a bite of his delicious frozen treat, the image froze: and WHALE HELMETForever and always
I’m always here!
The song continued to play, as a quiet revving could be heard, signalling the coming of Ocean Safari! From the backstage area came the wild animals, not by foot, but by... a Safari Jeep! A hoodless, khaki-coloured motor wheeled its way into the arena, to mass cheers from the crowd! Whale Helmet and Tiger Hat both sat in it - Whale Helmet took the wheel, while Tiger Hat stood in his seat, hand to his head as he looked over the hot crowd! The jeep slowly made its way, circling around the ring past the announce tables, before making its way back towards the ramp, where it was parked. Tiger Hat hopped over the side, making his way to the barricade to high-five the fans in attendance. Whale Helmet, not as acrobatic as the nimble Tiger, opted for a different method of exit; he opened the car door, pushing it with such excessive force that it nearly broke from its hinge. He swung it shut behind him, nonchalantly slapping the hand of a fan as he began to walk to the ring. As Tiger Hat leapt up on to the apron, Whale Helmet made his way, at a quick pace, up the steel steps by ring post. Tiger leapt over the top rope, turning back to push the top rope up for the hefty whale-helmet, who entered through the gap. They both made their ways to opposite corners, raising their arms to another great cheer from the fans, before hopping down and heading to their corner. Tiger Hat's excitement and energy perfectly complimented the Whale's larger-than-life persona. The two were ready for action!
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Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2015 12:22 am
The audience clapped the arrival of 'Ocean Safari' after all it couldn't be a beach party without the tandem duo of Tiger Hat and Whale Helmet reuniting.
The tron flickered, showing a scene of busted wooden planks, it seemed to be moving, as if something was under it.
A hand shifted through the wreckage, an odd yet familiar crest glowed on the back of the hand. "Who has awakened me from my slumber...."
the hand reached towards a giant war hammer, grasping it firmly
,A chilling voice echoed throughout the speakers before there was indistinguishable grunts.
"øβëœ"
The voice continued, even more eerily.
Sand around the stage began to shift, and rumble.
Much to the chagrin of the crowd, and surprise to everyone, a glorious throne with a robed figure, clutching the previously shown war hammer rise from out of the sand. .
The figure stood up, as the sand and robes fell to the ground.
Chrono Clepsydra. Letters on the tron were shown, as the figure
was shown to be covered with jade colored runes along his attire.
His hand still clutching the war hammer, tapped it a few times
Meatloaf's 'In the Land of the Pigs, the Butcher is King' Look at them now
What do they want?
And what do they do now?
Nothing at all
What do they know?
What do they think?
And who do they tell?
Well, no one at all
Lives are truly meaningless
And we are busy being blessed
With all that we can take and pocket
No one needs to know
We're the plug and they're the socket
Give us the juice and we'll go
Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
Tapping the war hammer upon the earth the looked at the shocked faces of the BBW Universe, and Ocean Safari respectively
. It was something out of the twilight zone.
The thoughts going through his mind, amused him. The thoughts of fear.
What was Chrono doing here?
Why BBW? Why Ocean Safari?
At the end of the ramp, he tapped his war hammer again upon the earth,
No one knew if he had a
reason for the charade, or rather to those who followed Chrono, knew that the Tactical Assailant 'always'
had his reasons for doing what he did,
and he had more than one throne, probably five or six...
But this wasn't the 'God of Time' that was familiar to everyone.
How do they sleep?
Their lives are so tart
Bring me the trash collectors
'Cause they're nothing but trash
What do you expect?
They've got no standards
So we lower the bar
'Cause they're waiting for us
We'll open up Pandora's Box
Pandora gave her keys and locks
They're the big dogs waiting for their mother
Come to the confessional
So I can tell you all that bugger off
There's no time like now
Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king Lifting his arms spread eagle, he tilted his head back soaking in the moment. He had arrived.
"øβëœ"
He spoke loudly, as the tron had words upon the screen
"Those whom I've avenged, those whom I've defended.
I've fought the mighty, those who would call themselves incredible,
those who spill their secrets cast in the dark. I dub the 'Unworthy'... "
Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the market-place sing
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
And we'll do it our way, it's our time to play
We know what to say if they stand in our way
Don't stand in our way, no time like today
Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the anthems we sing
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king Removing the rune covered garb, his body was shown to have less runes,
in addition to the metal plate still upon his shoulder from when he was shot in it many, many years ago.
""øβëœ" ."
But I seek of one who is...
Walking up the steps to the apron, Chrono climbed over the ropes,
and sat in the corner, the hammer resting beside him.
He knew not whom his partner was, it could be anyone. But the result would be the same...
Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the animals sing
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
Can't you hear the choir now?
Listen to the chosen ones sing
Can't you hear the slaughterhouse bells?
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
In the land of the pigs the butcher is king
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 12:39 pm
Escape the Fate- One for the Money
Silence followed in the god’s wake like a ravenous beast, throwing wide its jowls to swallow the surfside whole. There was no applause, were no hurrahs but the crowd’s kindling scrutiny was all the breath the animal needed to make itself known. Had this god been forsaken by his peer to wage battle alone against fang and fin? Who had the gall to turn their back on the man who made time bend to his will alone? With the titantron ringing as hollow as the speakers, it seemed that none could be found worthy as an ally…until the guttural roar of an engine coming to life broke the twilight in two.
The roar mellowed out into a low, throaty rumble as headlights pierced the darkness of the path that the Safari Jeep had taken from backstage then quickly dimmed as a blacked out Dodge Challenger Hellcat crept into view. The tint of the windows kept the identity of the driver a tantalizing secret from the crowd that were now hanging over the barricade and on their tiptoes in the bleachers in a desperate attempt to steal a glance of the one behind the wheel. Whoever was behind the wheel was surely kept a secret for a reason, even from the scion of the Clepsydra clan.
The machine adopted an eerie stillness as it pulled alongside the Jeep that had been left parked by the ramp and just...parked. Not a soul on that beach was not enthralled with the suspense of the reveal and it seemed the crowd was near to burst with frenzy when the driver let the engine sing its rough tune once more as they dropped into first, began revving the engine, and proceeded into a burnout. The tires seemed like they would smoke and spin for ages, the plume reaching high and wide- with a little help a la fog from the stage crew, of course- across both cars and crawling onto the stage.
When the growl of the engine died and the cloud began to dissipate downward to reveal the outline of a slender, hooded figure standing astride the roof of car, gently tapping a baseball bat against the length of their leg. Tap, tap, tap. The smoke continued to scatter outward across the car and floating out into the crowd, bringing the stranger into focus. Their gentle rise and fall, rise and fall of the outsider’s chest as they drew breath then slid down the side the car with the bat still in hand did nothing to shake the mask from their face or the hood from their head and loose their identity upon the crowd. They rounded the hood of the Hellcat with an ease that betrayed their intent, craning their neck to glance at the crowd, at the ring one last time before turning their back toward both and facing the Safari Jeep.
Isolated cheers began to erupt like fireworks as the stranger locked their gaze on the baseball bat for what seemed like an eternity. What was going on underneath that hood, behind that mask was a mystery to the universe until the stranger tightened their gloved fingers around its neck, rose the bat on high, and began swinging the bat with precision- into the Jeep’s headlights, onto its hood, the sideviews, into the windshield. The shattering glass and crumpling metal crushed the cheers in the fan’s throats. Crunch, crunch, crunch. The figure disappeared behind the rear of the car where they buried the bat into more of the car with all the might they could force behind the Slugger. When there seemed to be no end to the destruction, the figure propped the bat against the Jeep and crawled thru the driver’s side door, ripping the keys from the ignition. The stranger looped the keyring onto one finger as they pushed themselves out of the vehicle and hopped back to floor.
The stranger wheeled around one heel as they held the hand with the key high in the air, prowling forward toward the space in front of the Jeep. The stranger stretched their spare arm out and pressed a lone finger to the mask that shielded the rest of their face before tilting the finger holding the key, letting it slip to floor by their feet. The stranger let their arms fall to their side before glancing to the ring and raising the heel of their boot a few inches off the ground then smashing it into the key, shattering the fob into a million shards several times over and kicking the pieces toward the ring. The stranger swaggered backward toward the hood of their car before seating themselves against it and slowly, methodically undoing the brass buttons of the dark wool of their mantle and brushed the hood back so that a shock of crimson hair burst forth from beneath when the stranger shrugged their shoulders and let the mantle fall to the floor.
The high whine of the speakers coming to life did nothing to stop the frenzy that this woman had caused. This woman was not supposed to be there. She wasn’t even supposed to be wrestling; her match with her sister-wife many moons ago should’ve been the final nail in the coffin of her retirement. But retirement never suited Phoenixfire and this business always found a way to drag her back. Whether she came willingly or not- well, that was for her to decide.
“Are you reaeaea-eaeaea-
Are you ready?
Are you reaeaea-
Are you ready?
Let's go! ”
Phoenixfire ran her palms against the shaved sides of her head before perking her mohawk up with the tips of her fingers and tugged at the shoulder pads that hung with feathers the color of ash onto the upper half of her torso. She wanted to let her presence sink its razor sharp teeth in before she dared putting one leather boot-clad foot in front of the other. Skulking the ring could wait; the predator wanted to relish in the fear of her prey first.
“Everybody in the world are you with me?
It's too late to try to run, we run the city
It's my time, it's show time,
Held me down, now it's don't give a ******** time
It's go time, it's show time
Sing it with me everybody let's go
Cause it's one, it's one, one for the money
Two, it's two, cause two is for the show
Three, it's three, three get ready,
Are you ready, ********? Are you ready? Let's go!"
Phoenixfire had damned well meant to make a statement when she drove to the ring. She craved the satisfaction of the scandal that her being back caused. People had wanted her gone and maybe they succeeded but their triumph didn’t last long- no, ma’am; it didn’t. Phoenix could hardly contain the grin that parted her face behind her mask as she sauntered around the ring with not a glance up at the three that followed her moves from the ring above her. As she reached the announce table, she reached thru her shoulder pads to grab her keys from where she had tucked them in her bra then tossed them to the crew sitting with the bell keeper. Phoenix nodded towards her car and quipped “not to have too much fun with it” to the man she tossed keys to, waiting until he had rushed off to move her car to turn back toward the ring.
“Let me see you start a war, start a riot
When there's nothing left to burn, hear the silence
Hate me, you can't escape me and you ain't ever gonna change me
I can't stand it, I've ******** had it, I'm about to blow”
Phoenixfire lifted herself up onto the ring apron before she wrapped her hands around the top rope and paused to let the referee move himself between her opponents and her partner. She grunted in laughter as she basked in the heated panic that seemed to roll off the men wearing animal hats across the ring from her. That sound vanished when she turned her head toward her opponent, uncertainty settling deep into the pit of her stomach. Phoenixfire could barely remember the last time she saw him after she tossed him off a horse and into electrical equipment, severing what contact she had left with her former husband forever. They had both gone their separate ways with no intent of looking back so Hell if either knew how to react to finding themselves in the same building as each other again.
"Introducing first, weighing in at 145 lbs, from Seattle, Washington, by way of Anchorage, Alaska..."
Phoenixfire inched closer to the turnbuckle away from her former husband before she lifted the middle rope up and bent herself at the waist then entered the ring for the first time in years. She would be lying if she said fear wasn’t resting in that same pit of her stomach but she knew well to hide it as she turned around to climb the turnbuckle and inspect the crowd."She is... PHOENIXFIRE!"Phoenixfire slipped off the turnbuckle and back to the mat, where she began tugging at the fingers of her gloves to take them off and bequeath them to the referee that came to the apron to fetch her gear as her entrance music wound down. She made a point to keep her stare fixed on her opponents with her face fixed like stone but managed to steal a fleeting glance at her partner, feeling it a necessity to keep tabs on the man she had no confidence that she could trust in this match… yet. Phoenixfire unlaced the mask that had been hiding her face and gently laid it in the referee's hands before lifting the shoulder pads over her head and doing the same, dismissing him with a polite nod.
“Cause it's one, it's one, one for the money
Two, it's two, cause two is for the show
Three, it's three, three get ready,
Are you ready, ********? Are you ready? Let's go!
Are you reaeaea-eaeaea-
Are you ready?
Are you reaeaea-
Are you ready?
Let's go!
Are you ready, ********? Are you ready? Let's go! ”
Phoenixfire exhaled sharply as she turned her attention toward the men who shared the ring with her, the din of the crowd replacing the vocalist’s growl and the roar of the guitars toward the end of her entrance. She had set the bar high for herself with such a stunt but were any of them ready to put her money where her mouth was?
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 2:22 pm
Tiger Hat looked towards his partner, Whale Helmet, with sadness in his eyes and a forlorn face. He sighed heavily as he pouted, whimpering in broken English.
"Awww. She smashed jeep."
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2015 5:55 pm
Needless to say, someone 'really' went out of their way to secure not one, but two "retired" legends and coaxed them into debuting on BBW's Solar Slam.
Of course, these two legends had quite a history with one another.
Deep down the Tactical Assailant was amused in the sense that someone who was indeed worthy came to his side for this epic encounter.
Not only that, but she caused vehicular destruction, that left the Ocean Safari not only crestfallen, but now hitchhikers.
Looking down at his hand, it still bore the ring of Phoenxifire that he wore that matched hers that e had given her may moons ago
But that was then, in the past.
Still sitting in the corner, the hammer clutched upon his fingers.
His posture and demeanor didn't indicate emotion or anything of the sort. Inside he was ecstatic.
"øβëœ"
The God of Time spoke as he rose to a vertical position, as ring hands grabbed the various garments, but couldn't lift or even budge the hammer.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:20 am
Whale Helmet's eyes went wide with rage at the sight of their beloved jeep being destroyed; how were they supposed to tour the safari now?! Driven forward by bloodlust, the Terror of Wales charged across the ring as fast as he could, and attempted to slam all of his weight into Phoenixfire for a painful chestbump!
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 4:14 pm
Standing up, the Tactical Tyrannical Assailant picked up the war hammer that previously was unbudgable by the ring crew, attempting to drive it into the back of the Whale Helmet.
Even if Phoenixfire and Chrono were 'divorced' it mattered not, she was his partner in this tornado tag match, this no disqualification tornado tag match..
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 7:48 pm
Phoenixfire was well aware that she had drawn a target on her back when she'd taken that Slugger to every inch of the Safari Jeep. There was intent behind every step she had taken in her path to this ring and she knew to be on her toes once the bell run because either one or both men would be gunning to knock her off her high horse and that was a price she was willing to pay. Phoenix wagered that Tiger Hat was too stunned by the loss to move given how sullen he was but she could feel the heat rolling off of his marine brethren so she had to move with great haste to slip out of his path, dropping thru the mat and under the bottom rope to ringside. With her former husband wielding that devil of a hammer, her best course of action was to lure one half of the tag out to ringside where she could start her assault.
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Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2015 1:07 pm
Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. Tiger was pretty darn depressed, but some high-flying adrenaline might cheer him up. He hopped up onto the turnbuckle, and in a bizarrely flashy move, would run along the top rope towards Phoenixfire. Once he reached her, he would leap off the rope for... a dropkick. Because it's always dropkicks.
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:32 pm
Phoenixire's focus had slipped for long enough that she found herself caught unawares in Tiger Hat's crosshairs. The glimmer of motion that trickled past the corner of her eye shocked her back to reality but her efforts were in vain, her step a little too slow to escape the predator in her midst. Phoenix found herself turning in time for Tiger Hat's feet to catch her square in the padding of her chest, knocking her back a half step before her feet slipped out from under her and she fell towards the floor.
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Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2015 4:13 am
Great success! The first real wrestling move of the match was a dropkick, and it was a roaring success. Tiger Hat had basically already achieved all his life goals after this point... which is a good feeling to have when you're landing hard outside of the ring, on your back. No amount of dropkicks will un-jar your back after a fall. Maybe. Perhaps more dropkicks would solve this hypothesis?
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Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:22 pm
The small ache in her chest from the dropkick and from falling on the flat of her a** was a gentle enough reminder that Phoenixfire had been out of this business for too damn long. The domestic life had gotten the best of her and while the spirit was willing, the flesh was weak from playing house for... God knew how long, she sure didn't. Phoenix winced as she rolled onto an elbow and then moved to get up before Tiger Hat had the chance. She couldn't give this harebrained punk the opportunity to think he had a leg up on the competition enough to pull the same stunt again so she would be waiting for him, ready to lunge forward for a spear.
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Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:44 pm
[Apologies for my activity. I have not been in a place where I could be active for some time.] [The winners of this contest are Phoenixfire and Chrono Clepsydra via pinfall on Whale Helmet.]
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