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 Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2015 5:08 pm
There were only a few conversations in his life that Arias had been worried about, and he couldn’t decide if this was going to be one of them. On one hand, he was going to be honest with his sister. On the other hand, he was going to be honest with his sister.
…On the other hand, maybe he wasn't going to be honest at all.
The idea of telling her what was going on was something he'd been toying with, partially because he wanted some reassurance that what he was doing was all right, and partially because it would have been nice not to have to explain to her why he didn't entirely see grandchildren in his mother's future. At least, not biological.
…But if she rejected him, or thought he was weird, or went home and told his parents? …He wasn't sure if he was ready for that. Or if the relationship with Nick was serious enough that it was worth risking all of that. He liked the guy well enough, and the more he got to know him the more he wanted to spend more time with him, but they hadn't spoken of anything…serious.
This was just flirting and playful dating so far as he could tell.
But then again, he was really, really bad at this.
So, he was waiting for Carlee to make it over since he wasn't allowed to be an overprotective brother and go pick her up every time, apparently, and was waiting downstairs to let her in. She had a key and the door wasn't locked but it was a habit he wasn't going to lose anytime soon. Dinner was upstairs, and he had a pile of every sort of sweet he could make just in case he needed to butter her up.
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 3:50 pm
Carlee loved visits to Arias’s apartment. There was always good food involved, be it cookies or cakes or brownies…she loved them all. And she just adored her brother, that much was for sure. But honestly…she was kind of worried about what Arias wanted tonight. He had seemed really…off on the phone and she didn’t like it.
Maybe he was sick…or maybe mom or dad were sick…either way, she wasn’t a fan of bad news, not at all…she was one who preferred things to be nice and good and happy and perfect…and bad news just didn’t fit in to that equation…
The teenager made her way to the bakery and stuck her head inside, looking around. The closed sign was hanging in the window, but that never stopped her. Ever. Besides, Arias would be sitting there waiting. And there he was, just like she knew he would be.
“Hi Arias!” With a grin, the brunette ran over, locking the door behind her and hugging her brother tightly. “Is everything okay? You sounded really upset on the phone and I’ve been worried sick for the whole walk over here and if you’re not dying I’m going to be even more upset that I wasted so much time worrying so are you dying? You have to tell me. Is mom dying? Or dad? What’s going on?”
Her purple eyes were full of worry and a frown was prominent on her normally happy face.
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 5:07 pm
Arias blinked and returned the hug. "Nothing's—what? No, no one's dying, Carlee."
Out of habit, he reached to smooth down her mess of hair. "It's not like that at all, I just—you could tell?" he prompted, wondering just how bad he must have sounded to worry Carlee so much. He was desperate not to worsen her mood or set a bad start to all of this, so he hastened to clarify. "No, what I mean is…I'm not dying, so I'm…sorry to waste your time for worrying? —And mom and dad aren't dying, so far as I know. They're good and healthy. This is…I mean, it's something personal, but it's not…bad…"
At least, he didn't think.
…At least, he hoped…
He was still embracing her and was a bit disappointed he hadn't had the opportunity to butter her up, but figured a slow lead in was better than leaving so many unanswered questions.
"It's about me seeing someone, that's all. I wanted to talk to you about it. I guess I was worried that you might not approve. That's all," he repeated, hoping it sunk in that this certainly wasn't that big of a deal.
Trying to convince himself of it though, more likely.
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 5:50 pm
The girl huffed, trying to act tough but really just feeling relieved. So long as nobody was dying, that was what was so important. Whatever else that could be wrong was going to literally be nothing. Maybe. Unless he was just sick…like, not dy8ing yet but might be dying soon…
“Well, you met someone…are they dying? You’re sure that nobody is going to die within the next week, right? Arias, just tell me what’s going on. Just come out and say it, you’re going to give me heartburn, and I’m only thirteen so, that’s awful.”
She had so many things that she should be worrying about…but if Arias had met a nice girl…? “Are you getting married? Are you trying to ask me to be your something in your wedding, because I totally accept…how could you be getting married without me even meeting the girl…that’s just cruel, Arias. You are so terrible to me."
Carlee was just so full of the drama. So full of it.
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 5:59 pm
Arias dropped the hug and sighed. "Carlee, you are not making this easy on me. I'm not getting married. —And if I were, you know I would have introduced you well before I proposed."
…Like he'd even have been able to pick out a ring without everyone's opinion.
The only thing dying right now was his confidence that he was ready to have this conversation with anyone, much less his overenthusiastic little sister.
"We just started dating. I don't even know how it's going to go. I just thought you oughta know that maybe there was someone that I was going to start seeing."
He didn't know how seriously, or even what to expect, but better to get it out now than spring it a few months down the road.
Except, now was the hard part.
"And this would be all fine and easy and maybe I could have just even told you over the phone if…"
He was cold and clammy and there was a lump in his throat and he didn't want to say it, but…
…But he wanted to open this door. It was why Carlee was here. And she was going to know now or later, and it was best to get this done before he chickened out.
With less confidence, he finished, "…It's not a girl."
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 7:42 pm
This wasn’t what she was expecting. Carlee blinked and stared at her brother, then blinked again. “So…you’re dating a guy? I mean, I hope it’s a guy…it’s not a sheep or something, you’re not into animals are you, Arias? Because I don’t know if I can handle if you were into animals…”
Guys though, that was okay. Unexpected, but okay. Then again…maybe it wasn’t so unexpected.
Maybe she had always known.
“So uh…when can I meet him, Arias? Are you going to marry him? I’m still going to be invited to the wedding when you do marry him, right? Is he nice? I want to know everything about this guy!” She was starting to get more and more excited, thank goodness her brother had finally found someone!
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 7:55 pm
It wasn't quite the response at he had expected, and Arias felt his cheeks heat up as all the blood rushed to them. "Is that—what? No, of course it's human, that's—Really, Carlee? Who do you take me for?"
He was still getting over how well she was taking it and really didn't know what to do or say, so he hesitantly held her. "Of course it's a…you know, a guy. That doesn't bother you? You're fine with it?" he asked tentatively, really not sure how these conversations were going to go. He'd thought he'd been prepared for any reaction, but all that worrying, all that preparing…
How quickly all those house he'd spent preparing felt like nothing, and here he was with an unraveling knot for a stomach.
"—Do you think Mom's going to be upset?" he finally blurted, worry painfully evident.
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Posted: Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:35 pm
“Well I mean you’re making a big deal about it, Arias…so what else was I supposed to think? Who even cares if you’re with a guy, I think it’s great. As long as you’re happy, that’s what matters to me, seriously.”
This was really bugging him and that didn’t make Carlee very happy, so of course she launched herself back at her brother, hugging him fiercely. “That’s how mom feels too, you know. Mom and dad just want you to be happy…honestly they’ve been real worried that you’d end up alone and sad forever. Mom doesn’t care if you get her grandkids…well I mean, she does, but she’s not going to fault you if you don’t have any interest in the ones who can give you the babies…but you could always adopt if you and this guy are serious…”
She gave another squeeze and kissed her brother’s cheek. “I love you, Arias. I’ll always love you, don’t think I’d ever let you be upset…unless of course you were in love with a sheep. I’d be freaked out by that, bro.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2015 6:45 pm
Carlee had been doing such a good job at making Arias feel better—until that sheet comment. He snorted so hard he hurt himself and then just groaned. "—Oh, come on," he muttered, but gave her a squeeze back all the same.
"…You're a good sister, Carlee. I don't know if I'm going to wind up with this guy—I mean, I've only known him for a little while, so I'm not going to start planning kids or anything, but…I could adopt," he said, but didn't put a lot of stock into the idea right away. He wasn't some lovesick highschooler who needed to have his whole life planned out; if it happened, it happened.
If his life happened with Nick, okay. If not…
There were always kids who needed to be adopted.
He just let out a sigh of relief and hugged Carlee tighter. "Thanks, Carlee. I'm not telling mom or dad yet, though. You might be all great and accepting, but I've had all that buried for a long time. I feel tired. It drains you, you know?" He was quiet for a second and added, "I hate secrets. Even the ones that don't seem so bad. And I know I worry too much, and I'm sorry for that. I don't know why it's so hard to accept that part of myself."
He hadn't been raised to think it was bad. It was a thing that existed. In high school, the kids were crass and teased and insulted each other, but back then he hadn't cared. Back then, he wasn't even sure he'd known.
Or maybe he had, and it had just taken so long to get over his high school insecurities.
Either way, he wouldn't have traded Carlee for anything.
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Posted: Sun Sep 27, 2015 7:40 pm
“You are so cute. I’ll always be here for you, if you need me to keep this from mom and dad, that’s fine, I’ll do that for you, I think they won’t mind though, I know they’ll love you no matter what, because they’re mom and dad, and they love you to bits…so don’t worry too much.”
She pulled away and grinned at him. “Do you think we can eat now though? I’m starving and I’m pretty sure you said you baked me some cinnamon buns, and for that, I’m really excited. And I want to meet your boyfriend soon, and I love you so, please don’t worry. I’ll make sure that you’re happy. “
Carlee grabbed his hand and began to tug him towards his staircase. She could taste those cinnamon buns and boy did she want them. She was so lucky to have the best brother in the world.
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