Maybe soul mates didn’t exist. Maybe there was no one out there who could be called “The One”. He wasn't sure if he could picture a future with anyone. Wasn't certain he felt what the love songs sang about; of needing someone like blood in their veins. Of dying without them. He'd never felt that way about anyone, and never would.

But Otto liked this.

He liked Chance. He liked to be with him. Whether they made out, babbled about Stars or Tornadoes, or sat around doing nothing. He could be away from Chance, and miss him, but not feel as if leaving him too long would hurt himself and the man in question. He didn't feel as if he owed him. Didn't feel like he had to walk on eggshells. He never felt smothered. Didn't feel relied on too much. Didn't feel as if being there or leaving would cause immeasurable harm. He didn't feel as if he needed to compromise himself.

One thing, though, he wanted and needed to continue to work on; one thing he wished to improve so to keep this relationship strong and true; Communication. He’d not communicated properly in his previous relationship. When things went wrong, and Otto felt as if the bond he had was beyond repair, he ran.

He’d not make this mistake with Chance. And he hadn't, so far.

Chance had ways of getting Otto to talk. He never made him feel like he was in deep trouble. Never made him feel as if he'd need to prove himself, or make him feel like redemption was the only path to forgiveness. He'd never hurt Chance. Not yet, anyway. He hoped he never would.

Something he feared was running through relationships like a kid through old toys. He didn't want to do that; didn't want to be that cheap and shallow. He didn't want to drop someone, like he had with Maebe and Cami, just because things got too tough. Because he'd been scared. He liked being in a relationship. He did. The only one that had gone completely sour was his first girlfriend, and the debacle with Cami and Maebe. Before that? WIth Eva, communication had also been an issue. However, he remained friends with her, and appreciated her as is. As for Nevada, he never had a chance to see it through.

Cami and Maebe; that entire escapade. He'd slept with them both during the same time frame. He'd been Maebe's boyfriend, and Cami's... well, he'd never been sure what they were. It had been good. But he'd faltered, and threw wrenches into the gears out of fear. As such, he may have broken someone with the latter that could never be undone. He was scared of her now, because while he'd slowly pieced himself back together, he felt as if Cami had not. She'd not spoken to him much. A bit over Twitter, but that was all.

He'd thought he wanted the freedom to roam as he pleased. Thought he needed space to find himself. What he learned in the end? He didn't like sleeping with just anyone, at any time. He didn't like sleeping with multiple people, even if they were a select few; even if he liked them. One thing he'd learned with the girls was that he'd only thought having the two of them at the same time was what he wanted. He thought, if the option was there, if given the freedom to do so, he might like it. He might enjoy having freedom to bed anyone if the moment seemed right.

But he hadn't. Didn't. In fact, he felt cheaper for having experimented with it.

The sex was good. He didn't regret it with anyone he'd been with. Not even with Sasha, despite the painful marks she'd left. However, at the end of the day? It wasn't how the island saw him that bothered him. It wasn't about appealing to a moral code set in his head by his parents, or society. It was how he saw himself.
It wasn't the eyes of others, judging him for his choices. What he truly wanted, he could now see clearly. He really did want one person to focus his attention on. One significant other, one lover, all in one package.

Would it last with Chance? He didn't know. But he wanted to try. So far, things were good. He just hoped if things got rocky, or if he got antsy, he'd have the courage and the drive to talk it out, rather than make assumptions and run. He wouldn't take what he was building and lock it outside until it went away.

This time, for sure, he would try.

Chance said they had no commitments, no obligations or chains to one another. However, something he'd learned the last time he'd seen Maebe; he had no desire to sleep with anyone else but him. It felt wrong, and not because Otto was afraid of getting in trouble. It felt wrong because he realized that was just how his own heart worked. Experimenting up to this point had taught him just that.

Maybe Chance wouldn't feel the same. Maybe Chance wanted to sleep around with others. He wasn't even sure if he still did. However, if someday Otto wasn't okay with that anymore, he'd man up and talk it out with him.

For now? He was okay.