Yet, in the nearly two years he'd known Dylon, he'd learned a thing or two about what made his bond with the flirty young man imperative. Dylon needed him for company when he was alone. Alone, Dylon fought for distractions from his own mind. Worser yet were nights like tonight, where Dylon did not sleep. Not because he wasn't sleepy. But something within Dylon, be it the faulty wiring or a bad mix of chemicals in his brain, was wrong. It wasn't an unusual occurrence. In fact, every so often, sometimes months apart, Dylon shut down from what was normal for him.
A darker mood swept over, similar to what loomed underneath every time the male was alone on a normal day, away from others. Tonight seemed a particularly disturbing night to the Lone Wolf that lived within that defective mind.
<
Dylon didn't answer, but his mind felt heavy and thick. Suffocating like a weight on one's chest.
<
Dylon shook his head. "I'm not in the mood... and besides, it wouldn't help. Not now." He murmured, rather than spoke clearly. His voice sounded foreign, like this wasn't really the real Dylon.
<
Dylon wrung his hands, his heart clenching painfully. "Yeah. You're right. Nothing happened. It was a really good day." He forced a smile to the floor, his eyes wincing in the darkness. "Everything's fine." He had no reason to be upset. No reason to feel unwell. No reason at all, which made him feel worse.
Vahn began to realize this was one of Dylon's episodes, and he needed to tread very carefully, lest he accidentally nudge the man in a bad direction. Treading lightly was not the werewolf's forte. In fact, he was terrible at it above all other things.
Dylon wasn't even crying. He usually didn't. It was this terrible emptiness that, while it felt so strong of sadness, the man felt no need to shed a tear.
"You know.. I haven't changed much." Dylon began, "Back before the island, I was the same. I gave about the minimum amount of effort in my work and schooling. Just enough to coast by. Never got anywhere. Here again.. almost two years here. I thought about putting in for promotion but.. heh." He laughed coldly, "Why bother?"
<
"I guess you're right." His head sank lower. "I just... I feel like..."
Vahn's aura clenched in dread.
"What's the point?"
<
"Anything.."
This was too deep for the weapon. Not his forte. Not his division. Why had he been paired with this man? He'd started to prefer Casanova to whoever this was. He'd had to deal with this before, but not with a vibe this dark, this strong. And he had a feeling Dylon had felt it many times before this. Before the island. Just what had he done without a voice in his head to hold him back?
<
"I don't... I can't. Not like this. I can't let anyone see me like this. I'm just not in the mood. They can't help anyway. They cant." Still no tears. Just an empty face, with dark eyes that seemed to be sinking. In his eyes, it was his friends who were sunshine and flowers. Dylon was simply sponging it up for himself, because he couldn't produce that sunlight on his own.
"I just don't want to be around anyone. Anywhere."
I just wish I was...
"I wanna be gone."
<
Dylon felt a distance between himself and everyone else. His body was a vessel that helped him survive, but days like today, he didn't even feel real. He felt sad. Felt lonely. Felt as if there was no point even breathing. Existing. He'd find an excuse, any excuse, to blame the pain on. But nothing was to blame but his own faulty wiring. Sometimes he wished he could find a way to fix it. Times like today, he just wished it would stop for good, by any means necessary.