Welcome to Gaia! ::

"Oh!" Felicia waved exuberantly at Chance, her partner for the underwater observatory. She had a vita in her hands, and a truly horrifying amount of junk food spread out on the table (and floor) around her. "Hi Ch-Ch-Chance! D-didn't see you were my partner today."

Felicia blinked, startled, and then smiled again even bigger than before.

"L-l-look at you, Mister Niceguy. Well, it'll be a p-party, but I hadn't p-planned on sharing, actually. You're l-lucky that it's, well. You!"

She offered him a bag of cheetos, beaming. "This shift always b-b-bores me to tears. But now I c-can ask you about the boyfriendo you've g-got!"

Felicia laughed so hard she snorted, nodding her head in agreement. "I don't like d-dealing with people. They're j-just so needy, and I'd rather be d-doing my own t-thing. People are efffooooortt."

She beamed, nodding approvingly. "Of course I am. S-s-shipping is so ******** important." Felicia pulled open a box of skittles pouring them onto the table, and started to sort them by colour.

"B-besides, you're c-c-cool all on your lonesome, yeah?" Felicia ate the red skittles first, staining her teeth and tongue. "I m-mean, you d-don't crawl up my a** about s**t either, so. The least I c-could do."

"Thmanks!" she said through a mouthful, swallowing heavily. Maybe a dozen at once hadn't been the best idea.

"I g-guess I don't even mind that. It's interesting, t-to watch and listen and learn about what m-makes everyone tick. I w-want to know more than their p-programming, I want to go deeper than that, to the things that m-make them tick all the way d-down to the binary."

She leaned back, locking her fingers behind her head. "Rep says it's impossible, and s-sometimes it feels that way. But I don't have a w-way to know besides w-watching-- I just, I d-don't feel it the same, you know? B-before Deus, that was f-fine, to just sort of skim on b-by. Being in c-close proximity to people really m-makes you wanna get to know them. Or at least, like, so I c-can know who I'm going up against the world with."

"I'll b-be honest," she confessed, "I d-don't really know how to pull people apart into just those three. Every b-bad person has something about them t-that's interesting at least, you know? Who am I to p-put someone into good or bad? I'm no judge n j-jury n executioner. P-people are ******** obnoxious, and arrogant, but that doesn't mean they're bad."

She nodded along with him, inhaling deeply. "It's like l-looking through a window," Felicia said, "and all I do is w-watch, watch, watch. And the d-door's right there, but it's locked. What if, when I knock, no one c-comes to the door to let me in? What if, when I knock, they d-do and tell me I can't c-come in?" An equally deep exhale that turns into a sigh. "It's easier, to observe. Why'd you c-c-change your mind and engage?"

"He's an assclown," she said, decisively, "b-but he doesn't have to be, and he's not a b-bad person. I t-tried to reason with him, a little, b-because I think he could change if he cared. You know?"

Felicia folded her hands under her chin, linking fingers together as she listened. "M-maybe it's as easy as that, then. B-but I feel like if I don't p-pay attention, I'll lose what little g-ground I've earned. We're a l-lot alike, but different too. I think t-this may be one of those areas where w-we don't intersect, and that's n-neat to know."

She grinned at him, a little sly. "I'm t-totalllyyy jealous."

"No ******** s**t, jesus christ, I am p-pretty sure his head is stuck so far up his own a*****e he c-can see his stomach. But! But. M-maybe one day he will, you know? Through h-his own questioning. We can only h-hope, I guess, you're r-right. Watch and w-wait and watch some more."

She tapped her fingers against the table idly, wondering how Chance kept his balance, before he confessed that he wasn't sure, too.

"Of your connections," Felicia said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, a sunny blue sky in an endless expanse. "You s-stuck your hand in and someone took h-hold, and you're holding on r-right back. If you t-think about it, the odds of it in l-life are slim, and s-slimmer still on an island w-with a small population. It's a-awesome, in the like, original m-meaning of the word, you know?"

She swung her feet, the toes of her shoes brushing against the ground. "I mean, I've g-got family, and for that I'm grateful. But I've b-been here nearly a year and can count on my f-fingers and toes how many people I know, and on just my f-fingers alone of people who haven't slipped away because it w-was inconvenient effort to reach out. I gotta work on that."

Unwittingly, they were talking about different people. Felicia was still on about Lex-- Rep didn't bother her because he had a complex system of rules, one she was just beginning to scratch the surface of understanding.

"You're h-here, b-but you have more than what you did b-before, yeah? In the equation, you've c-come out ahead. I don't think I've added much or s-subtracted much. I know people and share experiences, b-but there is rarely a connection." She pointed between herself and Chance. "W-we talk sometimes, and it's nice when w-we do. B-but are we friends? I d-don't seek you out, n-nor you me. We're acquaintances. I've always b-been good at finding those, but time p-passes and we go our s-separate ways."

She leaned back with a sigh. "B-but I guess I d-don't change that, because, t-to be honest, I prefer it. Maintaining friendships and s-social links is effort. Like c-checking up on people and s-seeing them more often than once a m-month. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy their c-company, because I do-- I'm just f-fine without it, also."