Welcome to Gaia! ::

Backstory time:

I used to identify as a lesbian before coming out as trans, then as a straight-identified trans man. However, I've often had dreams in which I'm in an intimate relationship with another guy as a guy. Those dreams used to happen, but now they're slamming into me more and more in spades.

I don't know what to do honestly. I mean, hell, my mom has often asked if I identify as bisexual. I've been asked this by a now-former friend named Anna. Hell, the therapist said my orientation might change while on HRT. I'm so confused on what I am. Am I a bi trans man? Gay? Pan?

This is so confusing. I'm starting to get interested in men a little bit now, yet I also like being around women. My brain hurts and I'm torn in the dating world on what to do with this situation. I dated two supposed trans women [Cecilia and D], but yet I couldn't get intimate with Cecilia and with D, I was able to get some-what intimate, but I broke up with them because they were pressuring me to not transition.

After said breakups, I learned Cecilia turned into a transphobe and D went all-out extreme to out me on Facebook, etc.

I'm at a crossroads on what to do here. It took me almost 14+ years to accept that I'm Female to Male transgender, but I don't know what to do in terms of who or what I'm into. All I want is to find someone that makes me happy and accepts me for who I am. Is this hard to ask for?

Maybe I'm just frustrated due to some of my friends finding that special person and getting married along with the ruling from Friday. I guess I just want to have that happiness as well and not be alone anymore. :c