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 Posted: Sat Jun 13, 2015 9:39 pm
Sometimes days felt longer than others, Rep really wasn't used to the situation with Harrison, the other man was there overnight and gone in the morning on whatever ******** errands they had him running. It meant that time and time again he found himself with entire stretches of day where he was pressed into enforced abstinence by the fact that the other man simply wasn't there. For Rep this was a level of self-restraint he simply did not possess.
As it was it had already been a long morning, and it was getting into an unendurably long afternoon and everything Rep did seemed to derail him ******** entirely, even a duty would have been a mercy and he had instead taken to rearranging all of Jordan's books so that the first letters on the spines spelled out swear words. His mind and heart weren't really in it though, they were somewhere else.
"Do you like, remember the s**t we used to get up to?" he said idly. "You are the reason I even wear these ******** specs without feeling like a ******** goon. It took a long time to get rid of like...the pavlovian associations."
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 9:52 am
The artifact notebook with its maps and notes hadn't been damaged. Jordan put it away on the top shelf of the carved bookshelf, noted that the books on the shelf below had been rearranged again, and turned as Rep asked him a question. His eyes went to the glasses, and he paused for a moment, then asked lightly, "Oh, you got rid of them?"
This was a dangerous line of conversation, a subject they'd been touching on briefly and backing away from; given, it was mostly Jordan shutting the subject down, even though he wasn't always sure he wanted to. He wasn't sure where they stood. But asking might not get him a solid answer, either, or an answer that didn't mean what it seemed to mean on the surface. It was all subject to interpretation, and that made him tense.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 10:03 am
"Well." Rep said with a thoughtful pause. "I got like. Habituated to no getting anything out of it. Ace is pretty indifferent to whatever I wear, another part of that whole immunity he has to ******** everything. He's the same person no matter what he is on the outside, he never quite figures out what its like for other people" It was more a statement than a complaint, accompanied with a fond sort of smile. "But you. You man, you were always more...reactive." He looked Jordan over slowly and somewhat distantly, his mind clearly partially on other things.
He lingered at the other man's throat before looking away with an audible nervous swallow. "It's not easy to eradicate old habits though."
It really, really wasn't, especially not with such close quarters and such a very, very short memory for slights.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 10:29 am
"I've got -- quirks," Jordan admitted, watching Rep look him over. It would have been an invitation, once. It might still be an invitation, and it was getting more and more difficult to turn down the offers when Rep wasn't safely elsewhere except for the occasional accidental encounter. It wasn't that Jordan had forgotten the magnetism that had drawn them together from the beginning. Maybe he'd only forgotten how intense it could be.
He breathed carefully, holding himself tensely in check instead of reaching out. He should do something. Go somewhere. Begin a different conversation.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 10:48 am
Rep had no sense of self restraint, lasting this long had been simply on the back of his own acute fear of rejection. Every time he reached out to Jordan and was told no and pushed aside took a dire toll on his self esteem and had it been anyone else, he would have stopped because a game with such high stakes simply wasn't worth the pain. But this wasn't a game and the desperation that he was still attractive to the other man was intense. He couldn't understand why he was turned down and that pursuit of understanding kept him coming back time and time again.
And then there was Harrison. He left them in this situation, day after day after day. He wasn't stupid no matter how easy it was to jump to that conclusion from his gruff demeanour, he had to know something. His instincts didn't back off at the thought and Tracey did not move to stop him, if anything the fallen angel encouraged him onwards fixated upon getting another taste of Ferros, of being in that close and intense proximity. The dreams hadn't helped, they'd only made it worse, worse and worse and worse.
"So have I." Rep said and his voice was lower and huskier than he intended it to be as he moved closer, his heart picking up as if he was going into some horrendous and dangerous battle. Idly, as if the gesture was nothing at all, he reached over to move a stray strand of hair from Jordan's neck and trailed his fingertip across it in the process. "And the worst part is, you appreciate so ******** many of them." There was something predatory and possessive about the way Rep moved, as if poised to pounce if Jordan ran or to leap back like a startled cat if he pushed him aside.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 11:07 am
If it had been anyone else, Ferros might have been able to help Jordan remember his resolutions. But the dreams reminded them sharply that Tracey was here too, no longer out of reach, watching and listening. Ferros shaped a thought that wasn't quite an apology, a reminder that he couldn't find it in himself to be the voice of reason in this; Jordan accepted it with rueful amusement.
The touch made him go still. It was a waiting stillness, not a frozen state, and his eyes slipped closed for a moment, his breath picking up. "It's just awful," he said, and didn't sound like he meant the words at all.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 11:25 am
Rep was on autopilot, slipping into habit with a familiarity that ignored the year that had passed almost entirely. Jordan's reaction hadn't been to flinch, it hadn't been to stiffen or pull away and that in itself only fed the yearning ache in Rep's chest for more, to be closer than this and to find out when that point would come where he was allowed to tread no further, the place where he'd have to skulk off and lick his wounds.
"It doesn't ******** need to be awful." he said in a low growl, the same tone he took with anyone who tried to interrupt him when he was fixated on something intensely. He closed the distance entirely moving forward in a single motion to wrap his arms around Jordan's waist and to lean in to kiss and n** at his neck possessively before moving up along his jaw, pushing his luck to seize him in a passionate kiss. He didn't give himself time to ******** doubt it, he didn't want to doubt himself, he just wanted.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 11:46 am
Rep had been testing the boundaries, testing what he was allowed to do, how close he could get and how far away he had to stay, and Jordan had half expected that eventually he would stop being so careful about it. He'd thought about what he could do about it, thought about Harrison saying don't and having said I'm not some kind of obstacle you have to pass and about the fact that he'd come to Jordan's room when there was room in the bar, and Jordan hadn't come to any kind of conclusion. He probably should have made some kind of decision before right now, because he wanted this, wanted it enough to make it difficult to hold any other thought in his mind. Maybe, after all, that was why he hadn't made the decision beforehand.
Electricity seemed to crackle under the surface of his skin, and his breath hissed out all at once, and he wrapped his arms around Rep's shoulders and answered the kiss with all the pent-up emotion he'd been holding back for so long, too long. If this was a mistake, he'd deal with it later.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 12:05 pm
He was waiting for the moment where it'd go to hell, the anxiety like a coiled spring of potential energy, ready to push his emotions aside and down, convince himself he was just ******** around, that it was ******** nothing, that it didn't injure him at all.
But the moment didn't come, he was left in freefall, his senses suddenly full of Jordan, tangled up in him in the way he'd spend so ******** long thinking about but dismissing as hopeless, a memory to be doted on and nothing more. But no. Here he was, here he ******** was and his brain was no help at all, all instinct and errors. He couldn't stop, there was no ******** way he could stop when there was that ******** charge of electricity between them and no one was telling him we can't.
He made a sound in his throat that was something between satisfaction and surprise and moved to press Jordan's back to the wall, hands roving everywhere they'd been forbidden for so ******** long, hurried and desperate as if it was a moment that would be taken from him, as if all this would come crashing down. But even pent up, even absolutely fixated on the other man, there was no mistaking the familiar emotions involved, they were simply intensified, that old push and pull and testing boundaries, things that Jordan understood as well as Rep did.
Biting down on the other man's lower lip he held out one free hand and let his belt drop to the floor.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 12:36 pm
It had been so long, an endless stretch full of hurt and doubt and uncertainty, all of him turned upside down and shaken out and rearranged, and through the ways they'd burned each other out and healed slowly Jordan had waited and held onto the small and flickering hope that he was still needed, still wanted. It was a certainty now, an ember thrown into dry grass and roaring back to life. The fire of it was going to consume him, and he let it.
He was pushed back against the wall, Rep pressing insistently close and desperate as though he was afraid that Jordan was going to change his mind, and maybe that was a natural fear after the way he'd been keeping a careful distance, maybe Rep hadn't recognized that that careful space between them was there because Jordan hadn't trusted himself not to give in. He knew himself well enough to know that his willpower would only hold for so long.
He gasped at the bite, made a sound a lot like a growl, and raked his fingers down Rep's back, short blunt nails leaving scratches that would be gone within minutes. He was wound tight, and there were a lot of things he wanted, and he wasn't about to stop now.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 1:50 pm
Rep in the moment lost track of everything that wasn't Jordan and the need there was to be close to him and the demand for a halt, for no more never came.
---
Tangled in the bedsheets afterwards (how the ******** had they gotten there?) twisted up with Jordan as if they'd never been apart, Rep lay absolutely dazed and exhausted, breathless and wonderfully satisfyingly sore.
Moving lazily he nuzzled against the other man with a cheek and closed his eyes, letting the world settle back in. "I...fuuuuucccking misssed youu." he crooned in a sing-song voice.
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Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2015 1:59 pm
"Missed you too," Jordan murmured, sprawled lazily tangled up and bonelessly relaxed, deeply and fully satisfied for the first time in a long time. The arm looped across Rep's side tightened in a comfortable embrace. He wasn't sure when exactly they'd ended up back on the bed, but it didn't really matter.
He was going to have to explain himself to Harrison, but right now he couldn't be too worried about that. Or anything else, for that matter. He tucked himself closer, letting himself fully enjoy the closeness and contact. They'd figure it out. It'd be okay.
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