Quote:
Backdated prior to Sandrine's corruption
”This is such a shitty idea.”
Ochre set foot on the university grounds very carefully, as if bending a blade of grass might alert half of the Destiny City populace to his presence there. Awareness of others remained heightened after the attempt to capture Chariklo. His own brother’s interest in forking over his friend to the Negaverse hadn’t helped matters either; if Ochre himself could not find solace in his relationship with his brother, then who was left for him to turn to?
Strangers, mostly.
Strangers like Quartz, who warned him the first time. Like Warhol, who told him to quit pursuing this feverdream to gain unfathomable power. Like Porsha, who asked him to drop everything he ever knew and pretend it never happened.
Light pollution left the night at an eternal state of late dusk, with a putrid tint of sodium yellow tracing over blackened clouds. Rain poured as it often did during this time of year. Ochre had wrapped his magically lengthened hair across his shoulders like a scarf; he reproached the thought of dragging the length of braid around as wet dead weight. Keeping beneath the canopy of trees offered some protection from the rain, but not enough where he needed it. And crossing to the courtyard meant great sloping swaths of grass with nothing to shield him from the downpour.
If Order doesn’t kill me first, then the pneumonia will finish me off, Ochre thought bitterly. How long until I find someone who’s only interested in killing anyone wearing black, personal alignments aside. The holocaust wasn’t just some rare breed of human; we’re all capable of that blanket extermination s**t. Who knows, maybe someone like that will find me.
I’m starting to think Shale was right; it’s a better alternative than this.
Closing was starting to get down to a routine- pick up and stow all toys, pillows, and lapblankets, place all mugs into washing machine, wipe down counters, tables, chairs, clean espresso machine, pull down blinds and lock front door before seeing all the cats were comfortable for the evening and seeing if Faust wanted to come upstairs to the apartment or stick around downstairs. Tonight, as with many of the previous, the answer was a huffed ‘No.’ The Mauvian did not jump to his shoulders so much since the move, despite all the logical reasons pointing to it being a good choice. Jealousy was an emotional beast, and one that the Eternal Senshi, as he powered up alone in the shadows between campus trees and shrubbery, blamed for the absence of his furry companion for this and other outings.
Rumination stopped immediately on the subject of snubbed cats. Even as focus shifted, Thraen was in motion to intercept the target. A Chaos signature on campus? That is ...rare...with so many senshi like Maia and Ida calling it home. Small...senshi. A corrupted, here? Why. Why risk it, with so little firepower? Bait and Switch? Or wanting to find someone specific? I know campus like the back of my hand, anymore, with both faculty and student access. Do you, soldier? You cannot teleport, so far as I have ever seen. Will you run?
It didn’t take long to home in on the smaller aura, near some trees. Either up in them or below them. Thraen paid no trouble to the rain, and approached the copse while looking for the source- red hair stood out amid the greenery in plenty, even given the yellow light of the night hour. It was hard to tell much more about them in the shades of nocturn heavy beneath the trees. “Harvest of energy, theft, murder, and the purposes of Metallia have no welcome here. What is your purpose? “
Ochre froze with the burning signature; it demanded more of his attention than his surroundings, his thoughts, his basic bodily necessities. A moment passed before he realized that he stopped breathing. And by the time he half-turned to find the splintered image of someone through the leaves, he felt certain that his legs might crumble into dust if he tried to move from his spot. The same questionable thrill rose soon after - some daredevil’s wish entombed in chaos energy and distributed to every senshi ill-fated enough to join the Negaverse. That’s what he considered it, anyway. That’s what it felt like when facing down someone of considerably greater power than himself.
It felt almost ludicrous to know exhilaration next to imminent doom.
When he was certain he could operate his own body with some measure of success, Ochre stepped out from beneath one of the great canopies. The ancient oak offered no qualms to unveiling its burden. He looked toward the senshi and first noticed the boots of root and stone, his gaze climbing upward past the bouquet to rest on scarred face. He looked neither unimpressed or furious. In fact, he looked to be entirely expressionless.
“Yeah, guilty on all four charges.” Ochre offered an irreverent shrug. “Damn, I can’t get my killing’s worth out here. Too bad.” He would’ve scoffed at the mention of murder - because how many people are actually dying out there to magical missiles and dust monsters - but the news reports offered enough indication. The operation from earlier housed no deaths, but it didn’t preclude murder.
“Let me guess - you’re the university-appointed gargoyle? Were you hanging out on one of the roof corners waiting for someone to show up? You guys don’t waste any time in that regard.” But it’s probably not the best idea to keep baiting the guy. Death wishes are fun, and I’m sure they’re perfect for those operations or slanted odds, but unless I’m really gunning for death as my only out, I should probably tone it down on the a*****e meter.
“Purpose, though. Right. I’m stuck in kind of a weird spot. I was hoping I could talk to one of you without someone ripping my eyes out and shitting down my throat.”
Young. What is the color, or...no color to his eyes. Well knit together, though that jacket would be more a trouble than a help now that the weather has turned warmer. The rain helps. Cheeky. Insults salt the Earth where one declares want of parlay? And when has the other side been fair-mouthed in my experience? Even to Alois, the curse was more oft on his lips even in play. “We all go where we see our purpose and need. “
“Talking we can do, you and I. It is not usually how it goes, but there are truths to be found in converse. Justice can be deferred to more appropriate times or acts. What was your quandry?” Gargoyle. Guilty. I wonder if it is bluster, hoped for boasting. Or uncertain and uncomfortable admission? We all try to cover our horrors with masks. This could also be a fishing expedition to get at the royals. Or at those who fascillitate purifications. Who knows, without more spoken.
This guy talks like he fell out of a Shakespeare play. Sometimes, at least.
Fingers darted to thumb on one hand in quick succession. A poor rendition of violin fingering, but with no instrument handy, it sufficed for nervous habit. “What justice were you talking about? I haven’t actually gone around killing people or stealing anything. Is that supposed to be common practice for the Negaverse or something? Not that it’s surprising, I guess.” What little exposure he had to the Negaverse spelled disaster. Those times started long before reaching the city, and have only progressed to a worsening state.
“Anyway, here’s the problem. I ran my mouth too much and I didn’t listen to some damn good advice and then I got tossed into the Negaverse on a whim. One of the people involved decided it was a better idea to flat out kill me than corrupt me, but obviously that isn’t how it went down. It’s still a pretty good example of how I’ve been treated since then. And it isn’t even really about treatment, I don’t think. Well, that’s part of it, but a much lesser part to the… Weird s**t going on. The need to drain people’s energy, and the monsters they can control, and just… I don’t know. I feel wrong, like something is changing me from the inside and not in a natural way.” His thumb began darting back and forth between fingers to emulate the fingerboard missing for the notes. String changes happened in mind alone.
“Not that any of this made sense in the first place. Magical bullshit aside, it doesn’t add up that we’re protecting other people by siccing youma on them and draining their energy. And every time there was trouble, it’s Negaverse-generated and then some Order-aligned kiddos show up to save the day. Seems pretty morally a**-backward to me. And I get that morals are pointless and all, I’ve heard that spiel about a thousand times, but… I don’t know. Everything gets so hard to explain when so much of it doesn’t make any sense.
“Basically, I’m stuck in an organization that I want no part of but I’m stuck in black and I have giant targets on my head and chest in the shape of ******** holes.”
Ran too much at the mouth seems a common problem, with the first interchange. “"I disagree. Morality serves many functions - advocacy and enforcement of unselfish behaviors which increase the benefits of cooperative behavior in groups not the least. The purpose of the group behavior was the increase personal of well being over a lifetime either in a utilitarian sense or a hedonistic one. Choose your own telos to follow for defining increase- more art, money, offspring, food, god, social standing, any 'x' variable. You have a sense of that much. The Negaverse isn’t protecting anyone except Metallia. You guess rightly, all energy and effort goes to her betterment, all whims server her, and what is in you is her power twisting your heart and mind to no longer be wholly your own. Hate the officers you know as you like, but you will find you cannot hate or act against her. Not without effort. So it was found by a General I knew, who wished to leave the Negaverse. “
“If you are in earnest, then I can help you. There are Senshi Royals that can remove the touch of Chaos from your starseed, repairing your connection to your name-world and erasing the holes from bosom and brow. It is painful, and there is a loss of memory that Chaos drags with it. We could find you new name, new credentials, housing, help. You would have free will again, even to continue in the war or not at your choice. You would remain a senshi, unless you broke your pen. The Negaverse would not treat kindly to it, calling you traitor. But they treat kindly not at all with their own as it is. Tyranny makes swift example in youma of its own agents, or imprisonment. “
“If you speak true, you have little time indeed. I’ve been by purification attempt before. You must be resolved and secret. There have been ambushes. Have you heard of any of this before?” Thraen finally shifted, keeping his attention fractioned to feeling and listening for any ambush approaches while also marking the strange motions of the other’s hand. It is familiar. Rapid. What is he mimicking? A nervous habit, or a signal? Is he aware he is doing it?
”Morality seems like something that’s understood a lot better by someone of your side.” My brother would scoff at it. He’d say that morality demanded a universe centered on an equals sign. Maybe it does. Who said our universe isn’t? “Mostly it’s just been ‘do this to survive’. And yeah, great, I don’t get reprimanded or punished or anything if I keep up with draining some poor a*****e of his energy, but that’s not exactly doing anyone favors. Last time I tried that, I drained a guy a little too much, and when he got into his car…” Ochre drew a breath. “He fell asleep at the wheel a bit down the road and caused a crash.”
Can’t think against her, or act against her. Maybe not. I don’t even know who ‘Metallia’ is. Some leader for the Negaverse? “I don’t know who Metallia is.”
Ochre hesitated, eyes growing wide with newfound attentions. “Wait a second, so you can erase all this s**t? The holes and everything? It’s not permanent? I wouldn’t be able to like, pull weird gems out of my chest?” Ochre reached in absently while he spoke, and withdrew a brilliant red starseed that balanced effortlessly on his finger. “I mean, I guess it’s great for party tricks, but it seems pretty ******** sketchy if this thing is supposed to be my lifeforce. Nothing about this seems natural.” The corrupt considered continuing his gesticulations with the seed perched atop his fingers, but it sounded far too dangerous. Better it be left to his chest.
“And you can find me a new name and identity and life? s**t.” So there wouldn’t be any need to constantly explain to Shale and Porsha why I can’t go patrolling with them anymore. That’s good. I could only stall that for so long before I’d need to run away and join witness protection. Unless what he’s talking about is the same thing. “I can’t really say I’m incredibly stoked about this life anymore. Joining the Negaverse pretty much ruined it. It’s like it just… Takes over your entire life. Suddenly you have to side-eye everyone you made friends with before, because they might be a senshi that’s out to get you. Youma still want you dead even if you’re on their side. And other officers aren’t much better - it’s like they’re always out for themselves. I don’t even get how this is a functioning organization. And I’m not too interested in sticking around to find out why it’s still here.”
“But I haven’t heard of any of this, no. Purification? Sounds like I drank shitwater and now I gotta flush it out. Solution to pollution is dilution, and all that. Senshi royals, name-world, purification… Not a damn idea.”
At least he isn’t breaking my face. It’s a good start.
Does he really not know? That sounds exceedingly strange for a military. Thraen turned his head, one side of jaw angled above the other in a head-tilt physical inquiry as the other toyed dangerously with his starseed. “That is your soul in there and if that breaks or is removed from your keeping too long your body will lapse into coma and then die. Negaverse soldiers steal those from other people, killing them, and use them for purposes unknown to me. One at least is to heal in midbattle, eating souls to fuel their own hubris. You should be gentle and careful of it. “
“It sounds like you’ve been thrown to wolves, with little or no training or explanation. It is unusual. From what I’ve encountered.”
“Let’s start a little earlier- time can be allotted to helping you understand what is the storm around you. What is your name? The title they call you by. It’s usually a ‘Name, senshi of attribute’. I am Thraen, Senshi of Gardens. That is what I mean by name world, as every senshi draws their magic from a celestial body out there in space. Our starseeds are tethered to that of a world, letting us travel there, draw our ability to transform from there. Mine is an asteroid in the Main belt. ” Not ideal to give out such information, and not right away hurtful either. It has never been a famous name, and the location of the place matters less than Knight Wonders accessible on this planet. How do Knights even manage, that serve the Earth?
“There’s a truth, on either side, that there is danger in other people. We cannot unbecome what we are, and the Negaverse infiltration into media has made it dangerous for any senshi to reveal themselves to civilians for fear of arrest or capture and corruption. But there are many senshi and knights who still try to lead partially normal lives. They support it for others, rather than ruin it for each other. We have a reputation true of no overarching organization- no monarchy, no politics, no unity except in a ragtag way with a handful of small teams, or mass response to trouble. Some try to better that. But it means there’s no one out to use you as leverage to curry favor in a hierarchy. “
”I know it’s supposed to be my soul and terrible s**t goes down if I mess with it, but then why is it so ******** obvious with a hole over it? It’s practically inviting people in to fist it a little. Which hurts worse than anything you’d ever imagine, by the way.” He breathed a sigh while he crossed arms. A poor attempt to stop his fidgeting, but an attempt nonetheless. “I’m not trying to say that you’re lying. I’ve been told that starseed ripping is the quickest way to kill people, but I’ve never seen it happen and never done it myself, so it’s hard to think of toying with some gem as something lethal. I guess it’s like kids and guns, you know? It’s a learned fear, not an instinctual one. So I guess I have to learn to fear for this fake ruby.”
“It’s not that I’ve been thrown to the wolves - I really haven’t. A couple agents have been trying to train me, but I told them I didn’t sign on to play slave to some creepy organization, and after that I tried to bail most of the time. Sneak out, zone out, anything that kept me from having to listen to them drone on about the Negaverse. It’s a little unnerving to hear it - like you’re gonna somehow lose your independence to it. So I know about starseeds from a basic level, and that the White Moon and Knights constitute enemies, and a few other fine points here or there, but I’m also missing a lot of information.” At my own fault.
Ochre furrowed brow and squinted at Thraen when he explained the ‘name world’ concept. “You mean senshi planet? Coulda just said that instead of jamming it up with some Early Modern English spin.” Thraen’s name and sphere sounded both easy to remember and relatively benign. ‘Gardens’ reflected easily enough in his wear, just as Ochre reflected his own sphere. “And I knew there existed a world out there that was mine, but anything about going there or using it to transform is totally beyond me. I don’t know where exactly my planet is, or how to get there, or even if it’s possible in a lifetime. Space travel is kinda outside my scope of studies.
“And it’s Ochre, by the way. That’s what they’ve been calling me. A cat once told me the name of my planet is Sheikh, and that I’m the senshi of the Pentacle, but that was the first and last time I ever heard about it. Since then it’s been Ochre Ochre Ochre. Everyone throw a ******** mineral party.”
“I guess this is where we both say ‘nice to meet you’.” Ochre held out his hand for a shake, and for a moment, he considered casting his magic at this senshi. It offered a glimpse into the power of gardens, whatever that entailed, though it meant he would likely incur immediate repercussions. A fist to the face, for example.
“I figured the senshi thing kinda haunted you forever. I didn’t really know or even think about other people trying to lead normal lives around being a senshi. I met one girl who said she’s a student first and foremost, but I guess I didn’t pay it much mind back then. Wish I did.” I wouldn’t be where I am now. “But it sounds like being a senshi outside of the Negaverse means you can kiss organization and hierarchy goodbye. I’m down with this; I don’t want to get told how to breathe and when to jump for the rest of my life. So what would happen if I purified, then? Outside of the whole losing memory and identity thing. What happens to the rest of me? Cuz right now it all sounds too good to be true. That’s what I thought about the Negaverse deal I got offered, and look where that got me.”
Shiekh of the Pentacle- pentacle….that is an odd attribute? In a symbolic sense then? The hanging Earth, the five fold key of solomon? He is marked with them, closer now to seeing. Thraen stepped forward to accept the shake with internalised trepidation. It was better to project stoney ‘confidence’ if lack of any emotion could be construed so. Here is where best a trap should spring, were it my lover seeking to have the pinnacle of a jump on someone. One hand caught to an enemy in token truce is one hand caught in a vice.
“Agrippa of Cologne spoke the Pantacle to ‘fore-know all future things, command whole nature, have power over devils and angels, and do miracles.’ But Alchemy and Pagan religion are still mostly a mystery to me, where your attribute finds the most symbolism and presence in the modern world. “ Shake done, Thraen remained at a calculated conversational distance. Trust given is how trust is won. It is so much easier to kill without question- requires so much less strength to stand for ideals that follow power only to the one. Not the succor of many and scintillating variety. Damn this all.
“Stances and personal philosophies, where the young have even stopped to think about why they do what they do, vary widely. Veterans that have remained active have sat down to consider why we are fighting, and how far each is willing to go. Each is their own master, to make those choices as they can in most cases. There’s a group of us working specifically to support each other in more than just war-life. No factor has been determined for what or how much memory will be lost to a purification. What is definite is that it becomes unsafe to contact your old family or friends as yourself if you retain memory of your current civilian life. It’s very like the witness protection program, but the same magic that protects us from recognizing each other on the street out of uniform without transforming in front of each other will activate to give you a new seeming. People that know you won’t recognize you as a civilian. “
“Power wise, the corruption would be out of your starseed, so you’re thoughts and emotions would develop as you determined yourself, instead of how Chaos directed your heart to harden. As you see on me, we have no holes directly to our starseed. Your uniform would phase white, your starseed would be fully connected to your homeworld again. You say you cannot visit your world. We can. I theorize chaos is the difference that makes it not so for you, since it is the major source of magical difference between us. You would no longer be able to drain energy from others, nor touch starseeds- that is a mark of chaos that cannot generate from itself and only take and consume from others. Some months back, a corrupted named Vespa left the ranks of the Negaverse. I’ve never had the chance to ask him if there were other notable changes physiologically or magically.“
“The process involves contacting a royal, and any entourage they decide on, and they use their specific magic to drive out the chaos from you. It can only be done by a royal, so far as I know. Prince Castor and Princess Iris have shown themselves heartily to the Negaverse. There are others beside them. If you are serious, we can set up a time to meet a royal. It is a touch-and-go process, due to ambushes. If you have been refusing obedience, your time and leash will shorten. It is less of a waste of the effort they’ve invested to turn you to whatever they can make out of senshi. “ Youma? Worse? That was in the intimations when hand was around my starseed at the carnival.
“I’m not sure what aspect of it seems too good. It isn’t easy to start over at a life again, missing memories of what your favorite music might have been or your parent’s faces. We take it for granted already knowing them and how they have shaped our ideals and current selves. Corruption and Purification both punch holes through it, leaving pieces never to be returned. It’s a heavy price to leave the whole of a life behind, even a remembered one. In your case, with the danger, the alternative is death, or worse- becoming something you aren’t by force. Literal monster or figurative. Freedom is much better than that, but it isn’t easy or too good. ”
“I can tell you I can’t see the future with my magic, command nature or angels or devils and I definitely can’t perform miracles. I haven’t really gotten to the bottom of the association with my sphere and my magic. And, I mean, since senshi are from other planets then maybe a pentacle didn’t hold the same significance to wherever Sheikh is. Maybe it’s got nothing to do with being a symbol of truth or a blazing star or any of the other historical references.” He paused, then grinned. “I could show you. I mean, I’m just a basic senshi, and there’s no one else around, so if it’s just some way to get my guard down you can probably kick my a** to kingdom come and toss my starseed into a fire.” It’s right there waiting for a plucking, anyway.
At least he accepted the shake, even if his grip was too firm for Ochre’s liking. His fingers returned to their silent game. “See, that’s what I wanted in the beginning. I wanted to decide for myself what parts of this war idea I’d participate in - even if it was just to power up once in a while to protect myself from being dinner, you know? When I went around asking how to ‘awaken’, I wasn’t interested in committing one way or the other to someone else’s game plan. And obviously I picked the wrong people to piss off because now it’s follow the rules or get the axe.”
“My own family is already a no-go, purification or not.” His body language softened in disappointment. “My brother is part of the Negaverse. Funny story: when I was corrupted, he was actually the one to vote that I get executed instead. So, I mean, an opportunity to forget everything I know about my ‘civilian’ life? A surefire ticket out of that mess? That’s what sounds too good to be true. And death isn’t that much of a deterrent anymore, not when it’s been chasing me ever since I got here. I’m not really interested in dying, but with the way my brother looks at me sometimes? I figure death isn’t the only thing he’s thinking about for me. Death is starting to look like the only option out, you know. Though they’ve probably figured out a way to reanimate corpses…”
“I haven’t been very good at playing The Game, so hanging out at night is getting difficult. If I press my luck too much, my brother will radio me and start asking for where I am. I can try to get all my energy draining done in one night, which would leave one of my nights free if I only turn in half the quota. I can make time for it, assuming someone isn’t hovering over my shoulder while I plan this out. So how do I meet one of these royal senshi? Is there some kinda sign-up book for that? Do I go through you?”
“You...could. Magic’s use does not seem a necessary trade of information. “ And too easy an excuse to use it is too easy an excuse to hamstring an enemy. What if it were like Ida’s magic, arrows puncturing who knows in me. A good exercise in resisting pain, but not my hope for this conversation. The tale he has to offer is grim hearing, so betrayed by one’s own family that forgetting, or the chance of it, is a boon. It is a good tear-jerker. I would rather, in a way, that it was a lie to try to catch me offguard.
“You can go through me, or you can try your luck talking with some other senshi or knight. I can contact each to see if or when they’d be willing. These trees here- if you wish my help in 4 days time I will leave a scrollcase tied in the branches at this first division. It will have a message to tell you where to meet me. We’ll meet the royal from there. “
“Many more days may allow too much time for …your brother...to catch on. “
”That shouldn’t be too hard to track down then. I have the feeling something bad’s gonna happen, though… I don’t know. I’ll make it if I can. But if I don’t show up, you can probably guess what happened. I don’t think I’m headed toward leaving a pretty corpse.” It would’ve been easier if everyone just listened to Shale and bumped me off instead. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with the fun knowledge that the Negaverse has fates worse than death, whatever they are. But seeing the monsters they got? Seeing that general tell some lion-rug to go to town on some girl’s legs? I’d believe it.
It’d be so much easier if I could just ask Thraen to take me somewhere else, so I can sit around as a civilian until one of these royal senshi comes to the rescue. Easier, safer. But it’s asking a lot of someone I don’t know.
Don’t be a spoil sport. I need some kind of fun here to keep from crying about the shitty turns my life has taken since finding out about this senshi business. “Come on, it’s not any worse than your own magic. You don’t have some kinda lethal s**t going on, do you? On second thought, let’s find out.”
He extended a hand toward his latest acquaintance and uttered a phrase in conversational tones. “Sheikh’s Prayer.” The small ball of white energy precipitated vigorously, and wafted toward Thraen.
Ivynian
