Smoke curled lazily in the dark, stagnant air of the rift, wafting up in loops and whorls from a pair of red lips. There was no wind here to disturb it and it floated as it wanted to, dispersing slowly. Cinnabar watched it with a small portion of her attention, the rest of it turned inward.
Without realizing it, the pain of losing her humanity was slowly fading away. She hadn't even noticed it, really, until she'd spent the night with the lunk from the gym again and been forced to abandon him when her glamour had run out. The limits on her glamour hadn't bothered her, until she'd had to drag herself out of a warm bed beside a warm and sexy partner to keep him from realizing what he'd brought home with him.
Granted, there hadn't been much of a life to leave behind, when she stopped to think about it. She had been alone and happy about that, with a shitty apartment and a dangerous job. The people she'd called friends were few, far outnumbered by the women in the line of ex's and one-night-stands that stretched far off out of sight. What had she really lost? Her apartment here was far nicer, for being walled in dark stone and lit with some strange magic. Stroud's impecable touch was everywhere, taking what she liked and bumping up the price point and quality to a new level. Sure, she had to teleport to get to it, but it was the safest place she had ever lived. No one was going to break in there and steal anything, or murder her in her sleep (or so she liked to think). She had people she considered friends now, among them Stroud, Elle, Jaysen, Harley... and a handful of others she didn't mind working with or being around. some of them she even trusted to take care of her, to an extent, when the s**t hit the fan and she needed it. It wasn't a bad life she had built in small part here.
Maybe that was why the pain had lessened so quickly... there had been something there when she had hit rock bottom to help her stand up again.
But that night... that night had reminded her of the things she'd had to give up. Going to the gym and the bar. Meeting new people, namely women, and enjoying casual fun. Being able to walk down the street without worrying when her glamour would run out. Feeling full and satisfyed after a meal. Not feeling another conciousness in the back of her mind, watching and biding its time. being able to separate herself from the Job, from the Negaverse, and just be Ariel. The ache of it was soft and nostalgic almost... like remembering the house you grew up in as a child, where your best memories were.
She'd worked so hard for that life... but she'd worked hard for this one too, hadn't she? There was no going back, anyway. No sense in dwelling over what she couldn't have. She wasn't fully human, not any more, and in return, she was truly freed of the limitations that came with being one.
The cherry of her cigarette approached the filter and Cinnabar pulled it from her lips, tossing it over the edge of the crystal outcropping she sat on to burn out on the floor far below. This was her world now, this was her life, her body. The half youma rose to stretch luxuriously, her form long, slinky and firm with muscle under her scales. She was a new and stronger creature. Men like that, civilians and a human life, were distractions and diversions, nothing more. An indulgence she could allow herself from time to time, but nothing to yearn for.
She had embraced the monster she had become, there simply was no going back.
Word count: 648
