Kayitz was tired. Kayitz was hungry. Kayitz was depressed.
Growing up in the En Gedi, Kayitz had chosen ignorance. As a cub. As an adolescent. As an adult. She had outright chosen not to see all that was occurring around her. The war waged by the rogue, the struggles of the pride, her empty tummy. All of this was simply too much for her to handle, and so she had decided to consciously not handle it. Her sisters had enjoyed the light, funny presence she brought amidst the tragedy facing the En Gedi. But in the end it had not been enough, and the pride had collapsed under the weight of all it had endured.
Which brought her to now. Roguehood.
Roguehood, which contained paws aching from her travels. In her explorations of the lands outside of the En Gedi's old pride lands, Kayitz had run into several unsavory characters. Mostly, it occurred when she stopped for too long - when she got comfortable, let her guard down. Now she knew better. So she was always on the move, never staying anywhere for too long, careful not to leave too much of a trace.
Roguehood, which contained a stomach constantly growling, a result of her never learning how to properly hunt. When your pride is in a war with threatening rogues joined up with a god, there is not much time for teaching growing cubs silly little things like hunting. And so Kayitz had not been faring well in her newfound roguehood, struggling to find kills that could hold her over for the days when she could not catch any prey.
Roguehood, which contained an overwhelming amount of loneliness. Loneliness like Kayitz had never felt before. Even when the pride had been experiencing extreme turmoil, she'd always had her mother. She'd always had Malkia, Karnia, and Ahava. Especially Ahava. At that thought, Kayitz heaved a great sigh. If only her sisters could be here with her now. Now, while she could not ignore the growing need for something, anything new in her life.
Padding forward, she spotted a large lake looming in the distance. A soft, weary smile spread across her face as her pace quickened nominally. Her mouth was dry and she honestly couldn't recall the last time she'd had a long drink of water. As she approached the lake she began feeling more hopeful, feeling a renewed sense of self. Only a bit further. The distance felt longer than she expected, most likely because of the sweltering sun beating down on the black of her pelt. Although she oftentimes believed she was pretty Kayitz couldn't ignore the evolutionary disadvantage that having an all-black back was during the summer moons. She couldn't imagine the trouble that those lions with entirely black pelts faced during these months; her own pain and sweat was enough.
Eventually she reached the lake, sighing with pleasure as her paws dipped into the shallow mud surrounding the water. At the lake's edge she immediately dipped her mouth to the cool water and started drinking, slowly, evenly, enjoying the feel of the liquid quenching the dryness in her throat. Knowing full well not to drink too much at once, Kayitz began to raise her head, water still dripping from the mall. Opening her eyes, she glanced down at the water and saw herself in its reflection. Rarely did she get to see her own image. Oftentimes when she stumbled upon water it was not clean enough to show her a clear picture of what she looked like, and so Kayitz found herself quite surprised at her appearance. She was fairly certain the last time she had seen herself she was still young, perhaps a cub struggling through the En Gedi.
Now? Now Kayitz looked older. Much older. She could see drooping in her face as if her skin had given up in some places, loosening, falling. Her eyes lacked the same kind of shine they used to have. As a cub, even with all that was happening, her eyes danced. Now they looked dull and lackluster. And her fur, her fur was much the same - dry, dim, and clumping in some paces, full of dried sweat, mud, and in one case, blood. Angling her body, Kayitz could see, between the water's ripples, a few of her ribs, visible enough to count. What on earth had happened to her? She had once been so happy, looked so beautiful. But now... now she had changed. She was different. Older, but maybe not wiser. With all that she had gone through, of course she had matured some. But it had wearied her, and wearied her body.
Kayitz hated to continue reflecting on her past. But staring at her own appearance she could not help but to picture the faces of her family. Her mother, constantly anxious, but smiling at them all nonetheless. She was always the picture of grace, the picture of composure. And Ahava, with her constantly furrowed brows and hesitant, worried voice. She always seemed to be twitching, ever-concerned about her sisters and the situation unfolding around her, uncomfortable with being unable to control it. Then there was Karnia, a bundle of anger and hatred spewing out on everyone and everything she possibly could. Although beneath that hardened exterior there remained a lot of love. Nothing could destroy that love of family. And lastly, Malkia, whiny and selfish. She was always the sister everyone was concerned about, never quite sure what to make of her. But Kayitz had loved her all the same. Had loved? Still loved. Of course she still loved her. They were her sisters. Her family. She would always love them.
Kayitz turned away from her reflection in the lake's water and chastised herself for thinking so foolishly. Although there was little chance of her reuniting with her family, that did not mean she could think of them in the past tense. Nor did it mean she wouldn't continue to try her damndest to find them in these vast rogue lands. They had to be here somewhere.
Growing up in the En Gedi, Kayitz had chosen ignorance. As a cub. As an adolescent. As an adult. She had outright chosen not to see all that was occurring around her. The war waged by the rogue, the struggles of the pride, her empty tummy. All of this was simply too much for her to handle, and so she had decided to consciously not handle it. Her sisters had enjoyed the light, funny presence she brought amidst the tragedy facing the En Gedi. But in the end it had not been enough, and the pride had collapsed under the weight of all it had endured.
Which brought her to now. Roguehood.
Roguehood, which contained paws aching from her travels. In her explorations of the lands outside of the En Gedi's old pride lands, Kayitz had run into several unsavory characters. Mostly, it occurred when she stopped for too long - when she got comfortable, let her guard down. Now she knew better. So she was always on the move, never staying anywhere for too long, careful not to leave too much of a trace.
Roguehood, which contained a stomach constantly growling, a result of her never learning how to properly hunt. When your pride is in a war with threatening rogues joined up with a god, there is not much time for teaching growing cubs silly little things like hunting. And so Kayitz had not been faring well in her newfound roguehood, struggling to find kills that could hold her over for the days when she could not catch any prey.
Roguehood, which contained an overwhelming amount of loneliness. Loneliness like Kayitz had never felt before. Even when the pride had been experiencing extreme turmoil, she'd always had her mother. She'd always had Malkia, Karnia, and Ahava. Especially Ahava. At that thought, Kayitz heaved a great sigh. If only her sisters could be here with her now. Now, while she could not ignore the growing need for something, anything new in her life.
Padding forward, she spotted a large lake looming in the distance. A soft, weary smile spread across her face as her pace quickened nominally. Her mouth was dry and she honestly couldn't recall the last time she'd had a long drink of water. As she approached the lake she began feeling more hopeful, feeling a renewed sense of self. Only a bit further. The distance felt longer than she expected, most likely because of the sweltering sun beating down on the black of her pelt. Although she oftentimes believed she was pretty Kayitz couldn't ignore the evolutionary disadvantage that having an all-black back was during the summer moons. She couldn't imagine the trouble that those lions with entirely black pelts faced during these months; her own pain and sweat was enough.
Eventually she reached the lake, sighing with pleasure as her paws dipped into the shallow mud surrounding the water. At the lake's edge she immediately dipped her mouth to the cool water and started drinking, slowly, evenly, enjoying the feel of the liquid quenching the dryness in her throat. Knowing full well not to drink too much at once, Kayitz began to raise her head, water still dripping from the mall. Opening her eyes, she glanced down at the water and saw herself in its reflection. Rarely did she get to see her own image. Oftentimes when she stumbled upon water it was not clean enough to show her a clear picture of what she looked like, and so Kayitz found herself quite surprised at her appearance. She was fairly certain the last time she had seen herself she was still young, perhaps a cub struggling through the En Gedi.
Now? Now Kayitz looked older. Much older. She could see drooping in her face as if her skin had given up in some places, loosening, falling. Her eyes lacked the same kind of shine they used to have. As a cub, even with all that was happening, her eyes danced. Now they looked dull and lackluster. And her fur, her fur was much the same - dry, dim, and clumping in some paces, full of dried sweat, mud, and in one case, blood. Angling her body, Kayitz could see, between the water's ripples, a few of her ribs, visible enough to count. What on earth had happened to her? She had once been so happy, looked so beautiful. But now... now she had changed. She was different. Older, but maybe not wiser. With all that she had gone through, of course she had matured some. But it had wearied her, and wearied her body.
Kayitz hated to continue reflecting on her past. But staring at her own appearance she could not help but to picture the faces of her family. Her mother, constantly anxious, but smiling at them all nonetheless. She was always the picture of grace, the picture of composure. And Ahava, with her constantly furrowed brows and hesitant, worried voice. She always seemed to be twitching, ever-concerned about her sisters and the situation unfolding around her, uncomfortable with being unable to control it. Then there was Karnia, a bundle of anger and hatred spewing out on everyone and everything she possibly could. Although beneath that hardened exterior there remained a lot of love. Nothing could destroy that love of family. And lastly, Malkia, whiny and selfish. She was always the sister everyone was concerned about, never quite sure what to make of her. But Kayitz had loved her all the same. Had loved? Still loved. Of course she still loved her. They were her sisters. Her family. She would always love them.
Kayitz turned away from her reflection in the lake's water and chastised herself for thinking so foolishly. Although there was little chance of her reuniting with her family, that did not mean she could think of them in the past tense. Nor did it mean she wouldn't continue to try her damndest to find them in these vast rogue lands. They had to be here somewhere.