Word Count: 536

Walking across the stage at graduation was the most daunting experience of Jonah's life.

On one side, the beginning—the safety and familiarity of his college years. On the other side, across the stage, passed the meaningless handshakes with people who knew nothing about him beyond the name that was announced, passed the pile of rolled up fake diplomas, was the next phase of a life that had no direction. There was emptiness and confusion there—fear, too, and challenges Jonah didn't feel prepared enough to handle.

They called it a commencement ceremony because it was supposed to mark “the beginning of the rest if our lives,” or whatever trite lines their valedictorian used in their speech. To Jonah, it didn't feel like a new beginning at all. It felt like the end. He had nothing to look forward to on the other side of the stage—no skills to market, no job prospects to wade through, just the rest of his pathetic life living in constant fear of his grandfather's disapproval.

He saw his grandfather's face in the crowd, sitting with his little sister in their Sunday best, watching Jonah expectantly.

He didn't know what his grandfather wanted from him. Success, most likely. But what was success? Running a business like his mother? Teaching the next generation like his father who sat with the other professors and department heads?

Once, Jonah thought success was meant to be happiness. Success was satisfaction and contentment, but he didn't even have that.

What did he have?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing worth anything, at least.

“Jonah Rene Sinclair, Magna c** Laude,” came the voice over the microphone. It reverberated in Jonah's ears uncomfortably.

Jonah began his way across the stage with trepidation filling his heart. It set his blood racing uncomfortably. He felt hot and faint. His hands grew sweaty and he wiped them on his purple gown. He shook one hand. Two. He didn't recognize any of the faces who greeted him with smiles and congratulations. He took the fake diploma wrapped in purple ribbon and tripped down the steps on the other side of the stage as cameras clicked all around him.

Then it was over, and he made his way down the aisle and back to his seat.

He did not look to find his father sitting with the faculty. He did not look to see his grandfather and little sister sitting in one of the front rows. He did not look to find his mother, for he already knew she wouldn't be there.

Jonah sat and he fisted his gown in his hands and he struggled to keep his eyes from blurring. Others around him wept, but he knew their tears to be happy ones. His were not.

The ceremony lasted another thirty minutes. Then they stood, were declared officially graduated, and moved their tassels from one side of their caps to the other. Jonah did so numbly, with a sinking feeling in his stomach and an emptiness in his heart.

Around him, students who were no longer students cheered and threw their caps into the air. The audience clapped raucously.

Jonah stood where he was in a daze and wondered what he was meant to do now.