|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:45 am
The crypt at Valhalla was far below ground and silent but for the quiet drip-drip of water from a leak somewhere unseen, and the faint rumbling of thunder during one of Jupiter’s more cacophonous storms. Occasionally Ganymede felt the ground tremble just slightly beneath her feet, a sign of the large, booming force far above.
She sat along the edge of Serge’s effigy, staring into his stone face and trying to find the little resemblances between him and Chris. There were not many, for even at peace there was something stern about Serge’s face, and the stone could not adequately show the color of his hair, similar as she knew it was the Chris’s.
Tentatively, Ganymede reached a hand out like she meant to brush a lock of that long hair behind one of his ears, but the most she could manage was to run the pads of her fingers along the stone.
“I don’t understand what you have against this,” she said to her living companion, who stood somewhere behind her, likely frowning and shifting about uncomfortably. “Don’t you feel anything about this place?”
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:46 am
Did he not feel anything about this place…? He was glad Ganymede wasn’t looking his way because he didn’t like the look of disapproval she would give him when he showed his discontent towards her obvious fondness towards the man his soul once belonged to. He knew the jealousy was unwarranted, that Ganymede obviously loved him now and not Serge, but the way she touched the stone, the way she gazed at it with some strange passion he couldn’t quite understand, well… he couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.
“I don’t have anything against this,” he said softly, indeed frowning and standing uncomfortably somewhere behind her. As for her other question… he didn’t respond to that. Instead he lowered his eyes for a few moments, before glancing up to see where his eagle had flown off to. Even though he’d visited his Wonder more often in the past month than he had in a while… he just couldn’t bring himself to accept that his past life had anything to do with him. Or that Liesel had anything to do with his wife.
“He’s not me, you know,” he muttered almost bitterly, but mostly just sounded defeated. Maybe he was afraid that maybe Ganymede did see something in Serge that she liked more than in him…
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:49 am
“Of course he’s not really you,” Ganymede said, though she didn’t pull her hand away just yet. “And you’re not really him. But you were. Once. A long time ago.”
She didn’t like how often they disagreed about these things. Once she’d been of the same mind as Valhalla. She hadn’t cared to know anything about her past. But the more she learned, the more intrigued she became. She had to admit, it wasn’t a terrible thing to learn about what and who had come before.
With a sigh, Ganymede slid from her seat along the edge of the stone and turned to make her way over to her husband instead. She took his arm with one hand to grab his attention and brought the other hand to his face, smiling at him like their disagreement didn’t bother her as much as it did.
“He’s a part of who you are whether you think he is or not,” she said quietly. “And loving you means loving every part of you, even him.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:51 am
He tensed uneasily, not sure how he could ever feel that way when it was Ganymede standing there before him, but it wasn’t a reaction he could pretend didn’t happen. Instead he looked down at her for a moment before gently shifting away, turning as though he was interested in the rest of the room behind him.
It wasn’t as though he enjoyed arguing with her. He hated it. But something about this place… Maybe it was the combination of strange memories and Ganymede being there that caused him anxiety. It didn’t help that she said things that implied loving someone who was not just dead, but someone she’d never even met before. Someone she couldn’t possibly know well enough to decide if she could love.
“He’s not a part of me,” he stressed, reaching out to place a hand against the cool stone wall across the way from the effigy. Sparks of green energy and light spread out from where he’d placed his hand, but he quickly drew it away once more, watching as the light slowly faded. “Just because he was once Valhalla… I know you think it’s fate or something crazy like that, but… that’s not fair. That’s not fair to us if we’d always been destined for this. We made it this far without them,” he said, finally turning towards Ganymede to gesture towards the stone tomb that bared the likeness of Serge and Liesel.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:52 am
Ganymede flinched back but didn’t immediately say anything. It wasn’t that she was particularly hurt by Valhalla’s reactions, she simply didn’t know what to do or say to help him understand why any of this mattered to her.
He made her wonder if it should. Should it matter? Or was she making a big deal about it because she wanted to believe that there was something more than love and marriage tying them together? Once she’d refused to believe in such things, but obviously somewhere along the way that had changed. Maybe she liked thinking they were fated to be with one another, that some great cosmic power had always intended for them to find each other, no matter what life had to throw at them.
“He is a part of you,” she insisted, but quietly, hoping the tone of her voice would calm Valhalla down. “You share the same soul. You might not be him, but there’s a piece of him in there. The fact that you can even see his memories proves that, doesn’t it?”
She’d long come to accept that about herself and Liesel. No, she wasn’t Liesel per se, but she had access to his memories. She remembered what he remembered. Those were parts of him, pieces of his life. In seeing them she was accepting a piece of Liesel into her own existence.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:54 am
“I don’t know what it proves,” he admitted, although he was clearly on edge at this point. Valkyrie had gone off somewhere and even though he knew she would be fine on her own, part of him wondered if she would come back if he called.
Maybe the whole issue was his own insecurity with himself. He didn’t like to admit it, and he didn’t think that he ever would, but he wasn’t all that confident in his own ability to do, well… anything. He wasn’t a fighter, he failed at keeping peace, he couldn’t protect people… and now he had to compete with someone who’d been dead for over a thousand years.
On top of all that, while it was nice to think that they were fated for each other, it bothered him greatly that he didn’t have the free will to decide on his own who he wanted to be with or who he loved. It made him feel very… powerless.
And while Ganymede could come to terms with her destiny, he didn’t have the confidence to face it head on, lest he be swept up in its pre-chosen current.
“Maybe I don’t want anything to do with him…” he said softly, angry with himself for obviously being upset about something Ganymede was perfectly okay with. Was he being too stubborn? Should he just accept it? Was his ignorance and naivety preventing him from seeing the bigger picture…?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:54 am
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that,” Ganymede said. She didn’t bother to conceal the hurt in her voice.
Ultimately it was Valhalla’s choice whether or not he wanted to accept the part of himself that was Serge. He could go about the rest of his life denying it and he would probably be just fine, but Ganymede had seen enough good come from acceptance that it saddened her to see Valhalla so… obstinate.
And that’s what it seemed like to her. Not a simple stubborn refusal, but obstinance. Valhalla was determined to stand against her on this no matter what sort of arguments she made, no matter what sort of proof faced either one of them. She didn’t know why. She wished she did. She wished she knew better how to help him.
“I think you’re afraid,” she said, a little hesitant. “I don’t know why. Are you afraid of becoming him? You won’t. Are you afraid that accepting him will invalidate your own life? It won’t. It hasn’t for me.”
She brought a hand up to her chest and fingered the golden eagle brooch.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:55 am
“I’m not afraid,” he quickly denied. Probably too quickly. The ground trembled slightly as another crack of lightning must have hit nearby. The storms on Jupiter were not to be messed with. “I’m not him,” he added again, although he knew the more he said it the more childish he sounded, like he was throwing a tantrum after being denied candy or being told to go to bed.
“Why do you love him?” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “What is so great about him that you think of him, even when I’m with you? I know you do. I’ve heard you. And I know you’re going to say I’m being ridiculous but how am I supposed to keep up with someone like him? He’s not even alive and I’m…” Naive? Wishywashy? Pathetic? Any number of things that Serge obviously wasn’t. But Serge wasn’t that great of a guy, either.
“You know he practically forced himself on Liesel,” he pointed out, although he was sure Ganymede had enough memories to know that. “Liesel was lonely and Serge took advantage of that. He slept around with anyone who looked at him. He didn’t care about Liesel unless it was convenient for him. You know that, right? You don’t think he didn’t consider Liesel a pawn? The Captain of the Jovians in the palm of his hand?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:55 am
“Stop it!” Ganymede said, her voice suddenly growing louder. “You’re being spiteful! The only reason I ever think of him when I’m with you is because I can’t control when I have a memory. You’re saying that’s my fault?”
She didn’t like what Valhalla was accusing her of. And she knew he was doing it to spite her, which only made her feel worse.
“I already told you why I love him, because he’s a part of who you are whether you want to believe it or not. This isn’t about you keeping up with him or with anything like that, Christopher,” she continued, using his full civilian name because she knew it always got his attention. Maybe he’d take a moment and actually hear the hurt in her voice.
“It’s about you accepting who you are! It’s about you learning about yourself through the life of someone else. This is real,” Ganymede said, lifting her right palm to show him the glowing scar. “This is real and you need to accept that. These people,” she motioned to the effigies with her opposite hand, “are part of who we’ve become. I’ve accepted that, and look at me. You haven’t. You’re still as lost as you were when you started out.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:56 am
The call of his name did get his attention, and he looked up at her, hoping she wouldn’t see the insecurity in his eyes, but he knew she knew him better than he probably knew himself. There was something so foreign and untouchable about this world that he couldn’t explain how he felt… just that he felt it.
He shifted and turned his head away from her when she lifted her hand to show him the scar, his own hands clenching tightly into fists by his side. How could he possibly have anything to do with Serge? Other than being Valhalla, of course. But the fact that Ganymede had the scar on her palm and he obviously didn’t, well…
“How am I supposed to accept that I was… was that man??” he wondered, gesturing to the effigie as well. “He was a jerk with a bad attitude! He was horrible to Liesel! You know he was, otherwise you would have denied it! I wouldn’t be surprised if someone ended up killing him because he pissed the wrong people o--”
A loud squawk by his ear and a heavy hit against the back of his head where Valkyrie flew a little too close to his head effectively cut him off. She took one more pass before settling down on the wing of the giant stone eagle protecting the effigies and hissed in Valhalla’s direction. From the looks of it, she was in agreement with Ganymede.
“Screw you both,” he growled back, rubbing the back of his head, his helmet having been knocked from its position had clattered on the floor, but he didn’t bother to retrieve it. Instead he turned on his heel to storm off, away from the two.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:56 am
“See? Even the bird agrees with me,” Ganymede said, and then ducked out of the way before Valkyrie could snap at her for calling her a bird.
Ganymede waited a few moments as Valhalla stormed off before deciding it would be more appropriate to follow him. On the one hand, time to himself would give him the opportunity to cool off; on the other hand, he’d likely use that time doing nothing more than moping.
So she went after him as soon as he turned out of sight, scampering out of the crypt with one last backward glance toward the effigies. She heaved a sigh when Val was in her sights again, speeding up until she was able to grab onto his cape to get his attention.
“How do you know he was horrible to Liesel?” she asked. She let go of his cape once she was sure Valhalla wasn’t going to brush her off. “He might have been a little arrogant, but he wasn’t a complete a*****e. Otherwise, I doubt Liesel would have done this,” she said, and showed the glowing scar on her palm again.
“You’re too sensitive about this stuff,” she observed, “which just goes to show how much good it would do you to actually spend more time here. You’d understand things better if you saw more of it. Right now you’re just going off of what you assume happened based on the little you’ve bothered to see.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:57 am
He was trying hard not to be annoyed that Ganymede had followed him, and while he didn’t brush her off when she grabbed onto his cape, he didn’t stop walking. His strides were much longer than hers and it was probably a little difficult for her to keep up with him in her heels.
“It’s not as easy for me as it is for you,” he growled, his foul mood obvious. These days it was rare that he got so worked up, but he couldn’t manage to care enough to try and not be angry. Sure, there were some things he saw about Serge that weren’t so bad, but he’d also seen a darker side to him. This place was a fortress. Serge had been trained to fight and kill. He’d seen him getting into fights and saw his anger.
“Maybe I don’t want to understand things. Maybe I’m happy not knowing. Maybe I don’t want to be disappointed that I’m the reincarnation of an emotionless killer,” he raved, not really noticing the incline of the path they were taking, or the way the walls were losing any refinement.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:57 am
“You think it was easy for me?” Ganymede snapped.
She didn’t mean to get so worked up. She didn’t want this turning into an argument, though if she stopped to take a closer look at it she’d realize that’s exactly what it was. But Val wasn’t even thinking before he was speaking, and some of what he said hurt.
“You think any of this was easy for me?” she continued, following him all the way. Indeed, it was somewhat difficult to keep up with him, especially when he was purposefully trying to get away, but she managed it well enough. She’d had plenty of practice in her heels, after all.
“Yeah, being awoken by a cat who doesn’t tell you anything and then shoved straight into Elysion pretty much the next day is easy. Yeah, being yelled at and insulted for being afraid is easy. Sure, having everyone against you because you don’t think the way they do is easy.
“None of this has been easy,” Ganymede insisted. “That’s not the point. The point is accepting all that for what it is and finding your place. You don’t have that, Val. But you could. You have this amazing fortress and all these memories just waiting for you here, but you don’t bother with it because you’re afraid your past life won’t live up to your ridiculously high expectations.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:58 am
“Right! I get it, okay??” he snapped back as she drew on her own experiences. “I’ve always had it easy, I get it. I was born to a privileged life, I’ve never had to question who I was or what was expected of me, my parents have never discouraged me from doing what I wanted to do. Studying and getting good grades is easy for me. Hell, even awaking into this I had someone there to help me and tell me what I needed to know to get by! I get it! I’ve always had it easy and now that I’m being forced to change how I feel and how I think in order to accept that maybe things aren’t as easy… I can’t do it. I’m not used to it. I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want to have to change my ridiculously high expectations to conform to something I don’t agree with!
“I won’t do it, Liesel!”
The words left his mouth before he even realized he was saying it, and it had him stopping suddenly, surprised and confused and angry with himself. The hallway he’d stormed down was dark save for the angry sparks of green that lit the path below his feet. On Valhalla, it was never fully dark for him. The fortress reacted to his presence, although sometimes he wished it wouldn’t. It was as if the whole Wonder itself was beckoning to him. Inviting him to stay and learn. But he was stubborn.
“I won’t allow it,” another voice said, one that only he could hear he knew. In his rush to get away from the crypt, Valhalla hadn’t realized they were descending further down, below the fortress itself. The weight of the fortress above made it surprising for him to see such large cavernous spaces such as the room leading towards the crypt and the grand hall and the atrium he’d discovered. But this place, aside from the hall that lead to it, looked original to the planet. Or as original as it could. A vast underground lake with faintly glowing crystals across the ceiling and under the water made the cavern look like some kind of giant, half submerged geode.
At the edge of the water stood two people he recognized immediately. One, obviously angry with his hands clenched into fists by his sides, and the other gently reaching out to take his hand. There was no fear in the blond as he stood before the wrath of the other. Just a gentle sort of understanding and acceptance.
Whatever Serge wasn’t going to allow, Valhalla didn’t know. The memory faded as quickly as it appeared.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 08, 2015 11:58 am
Ganymede wasn’t paying any attention to where they were going. She didn’t feel as if she had to. The fortress of Valhalla was a strange place, but it wasn’t dangerous as far as she’d experienced. It seemed to lead them where they needed to go at any given time, in any case.
Valhalla’s rant surprised her somewhat, though only the end of it. She didn’t flinch back, but she looked at him oddly, then glanced around the area like she might see what he was seeing. She didn’t, of course, though she wanted to. It frustrated her sometimes that her memories were confined strictly to Ganymede.
“Now who’s calling who names?” she said gently.
She wasn’t bothered by it in the least. After all, she’d unknowingly muttered Serge’s name a few times. Hearing Liesel’s name from Valhalla’s mouth wasn’t any different.
Gently she reached out to take one of his hands. She caressed it soothingly.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I shouldn’t be pushing you so hard. You should do it on your own time, and because you want to, not because I want you to. I just… it’s done so much good for me. I was hoping it would do some good for you, too.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
