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Hello! This is just where I would like to post some parts of my book in hope of critique and opinions.

And this is the new version

Amelia was one of the most stupidly cheerful people I’ve ever met. When she twirled around the room, not looking so much a dancer as her two left feet spoke for themselves, she tossed a green frilly dress on the bed, then a pink one much the same style. Blue floor length, yellow halter neck, orange short enough to make me snort at the thought of her wearing it, then silver, gold, purple, and finally, the white one.

She threw that one down and I heard shuffling before she questioned, “How does this dress look?”

The silver shimmery dress got shoved in front of my face.
“No” I chocked out. Oh god! She would look like a koi fish in that! Not exactly a bad thing but I swear that dress has scales on it.

“No? You can’t just say no to a dress! I asked you how it looked!” She indignantly tossed the silver one on the floor and delicately picked up the white one, twisting it as to see it from every angle. As many angles as a dress can have.

Oh my god. Here we go again. I love Amelia, I really do, but right now the last thing I want to be doing is dress browsing. My head fell into my palms and I had to say something, “I have things to do, places to be!”

She pushed back her hair behind her shoulder, and pushed, and pushed, you know, having hair past your elbow seems really obnoxious. She squinted at me and sighed dramatically. “I know that you have nothing better to be doing than being with me.”

“Oh yeah, prove it. How do you know?” Oh great, I just challenged her. Now I’ll get random crap about the stars being in position and the planet aligning.

She huffed out a laugh. “Don’t roll your eyes at me. My voodoo is the only valid voodoo. And I know that you have nothing better to be because,” Her voice took on that irritating lilt and became soft. I think she was going for dreamy but it really just sounded like she was falling asleep. “The wind was soft and your particles hazy. Your home was golden and fires blazing. Mother was content, Brother was with the Great Elders, and Seers were forsworn.”

I knew it. I freakin’ knew it. “Right, English please? I’m guessing that you’re completely making everything up. In fact--”

K-nock. K-nock. K-nock. The door slammed open, leaving a dent in the patchy cotton candy paint job. I jumped, flailing as my legs got twisted up in what I can only assume is a blanket and I tumbled to the floor off the bed.

Mom stuck her head in. “Hey do you kids want any snacks before you head out? They’re probably only going to have junk food at the dance.”
Wait, Mom? What was Mom doing here? She promised! She promised to stay out of my way today! “Noooo, we’re good.” I may have whined.
“Okay then and—”

“Why are you here?” Did I just interrupt her? My foot in the mouth syndrome is definitely getting worse. I should see a doctor.

Oh no, the hands on the hips, now she’s slightly more annoyed than her previous state. “Racheal! With the way you’re acting I’m starting to wonder if I should have even brought this for you!” She entered the room and swung the dress bag she had over her shoulder onto the bed. “You forgot your dress at home and they won’t let you in without it.”

Damn! My ticket out of the dance and she just has to be enough of a caring mother to make sure that I go! I grumbled, “Thanks Mom.”
I rolled off of the bed and dislodged the curls that were sticking to the side of my face. Taking Mom’s elbow I began leading her out of the room, “Alright, lovely seeing you here, now time to go. We need to get changed, and as you said, eventually leave. Thanks for coming, good bye!”

Mom resisted slightly, twisting her head to see Amelia still debating over dresses. “Oh honey, choose the green one, it will really bring out your lovely eyes!” We were almost at the door, “and have fun kids! Be safe!”
Finally, the door was shut. And she was in the hallway, away from us. Nothing is more embarrassing than having your mother show up just at the wrong time!

Amelia waved at the door, “Okay! Thanks Ms. S!”

“You’re welcome!” came through the door, slightly muffled as if someone was speaking against a pillow, or you know, through the door.

“I guess… we should get changed?” I picked up the dress bag and oh so carefully, with one eye shut tightly (as maybe it would lessen the horror of the fluffy concoction sure to be inside but it wouldn’t help with my coordination)and slowly tugged down the zipper. Inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter, it receded. A little sliver of a dark blue peeked out. Huh, I actually like dark blue. Wait, that wasn’t the color that Mom originally bought. I couldn’t ever forget that pink monstrosity! Feeling reassured yet even more wary I quickly yanked down the zipper fully, letting the dress bag fall to the floor as I held the dress from the hanger.

It was knee-length, completely dark blue, and absolutely no ruffles or pleats or lace or anything to be found. It was simply supported by two straps and was perfectly as basic as a dress could be and still pass for something formal… ish. I like this. I could do this. I will go to the dance and get a boyfriend and find out that my report card has perfect grades and find Sam a boyfriend and get Amelia the perfect summer interning job, and everything will be perfect.

Hah. I crack myself up sometimes. None of that will happen, except maybe going to the dance. That might happen.

“Hey, the stars say that it’s bad to get so lost in your own thoughts that you tune everyone out. Not to mention it could make some person uncomfortable when you stare at a boring dress and cackle manically at it.” Amelia’s hands were bunched up in her dress, that suddenly was already perfectly on her, as her teasing smile told me to get a move on.

“Okay okay, and I do not cackle manically, I cackle gleefully.”

She smirked, well as much a girl who had probably never smirked in her life could, “You never denied that you cackle”

“Believe it or not, I’m not self-deluded.” I swept past her and into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, well maybe a bit longer, we were dressed, had curled, or straightened as was the case, our hair, had on as much makeup as mothers would allow their fifteen year olds to wear (not much), and were managing to not teeter in heels.

“Okay, you look perfect, I look perfect, are you ready to show the moms?” I checked my shiny silver watch, alright, we have just enough time if we leave right now.

She nodded. Nodding could be taken either way. Does she not trust herself to speak or is she just too excited. I hope she’s just too nervous. Then I can stay home.

Hopefully I asked, “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

There she goes. Amelia was part way to the door when I made my comment and she spun around, purse clutched indignantly in her grasp. “No! I have been looking forward to this all year! If you dare back out now, I will be very angry!” If I was a lesser person, I would compare her to an angry kitten. As it is, I have been mauled by my brother’s angry kitten and it was not fun. I have a feeling tussling with Amelia would be the same experience, especially because she just got a manicure.

“Uh huh. No. Me, thinking of backing out of the dance? Never. I have been so looking forward to this. Now shall we go?” I opened the door for her and waved her on through,

“Thank you my valiant knight.”

“Anything for you. Can’t do without our seer.” I followed her saunter at a more sedate pace, still not really willing to enjoy this next part.

“Girls! You look so pretty!” Ah there it is. How is it that both of our mother’s managed to say that in sync? A little bit creepy.

Amelia grabbed me by the arm and steered me out to the porch. The next few minutes was flash after flash of cameras, which I’m sure they will come to regret when I am blind five years from now, and was over in a whirl of good lucks and ‘tell us all about it when you get home’ and they were gone; gone to chaperone our older siblings dance, which coincidentally was on the same day. Lazy school programmers.

“Hey Amelia” I waved mechanically as the car peeled out of the driveway and disappeared down the road.

“Yeah?” She innocently replied. Way too innocently.

“Who’s driving us?” That was a legitimate concern. I don’t remember her telling me her plan to get us to the gymnasium. Though I’m pretty sure that Mom extracted a promise from me that a parent would be driving. At her long pause my stomach started to sink. She couldn’t really mean that…

“James volunteered to get us there.”

“James is sixteen.” The VMA is going to have a field day with this one.

“Yeah so?” She sees nothing wrong with this?!

I tried explaining the problem I saw with her solution, “James only has a driver’s permit. Is one of his parents going to be with him?”

“Oh of course not. They’re not going to the dance he is”
So not only was this illegal, it was dangerously illegal.

“Who else is going?”

“Well Sam would have been but his mother is one of the volunteers so he has a ride, and I offered a ride to Sabrina but for some reason she declined. I’m not actually sure if she’s going or not.” Amelia dug through her phone, pulling up text messages to prove her point. Not that I would be able to see it without my glasses, I’m pretty far-sighted.

“Oh my beautiful sweet Earth, enjoy this time I have with you for this may be the last time ever.” Face meet hands. I don’t want my last sight of Earth to be Amelia’s rock garden!

Amelia laughed a soft one that evolved into hiccups when she couldn’t stop, “Are you *hic* talking *hic* to the rocks *hic*?”

“Yes, yes I am. And you should say your goodbyes too--”

HONK

“James, do you mind not alerting every person in the neighborhood that you are obnoxious and proud to show it!” I screamed. I had to. This is insane!

He laughed too, although this time it sounded like the braying of a donkey. “Calm down Rachey! Just wanted to show off my,” he waved his arm across the door of his car like he was some kind of presenter, “brand new car. Ain’t she pretty!”

“Not proper English moneybags.” Grumpily I sat in the back and buckled in my seatbelt, no matter how pretty the car, I am not trusting her driver. Amelia closed my door and went around the car to sit in the front seat.

“I’m sure that she really means,” her voice went high, “’thank you, James.’”

Really? They’re making fun of me now. Wow, sorry that I’m a little upset about getting into a death trap.

“Let’s just get this on the road. The sooner I die, the less time I have to think about it!”

He let out another high broken laugh, “Might want to work on your bedside manner if you want to be a doctor. Ah, I almost missed your morbidness.”

“Still not a wor--” I screamed. A true one this time, with all of the ear rattling pitch necessary.

James took a sharp turn, and I swear that I feel the wheels loosing traction. We landed back on the road and I could see James pressing down on the accelerator. My heat beat was in my ear when I leaned over the frontal console,

“Hey you! Just because there’s no one on the road does not mean that you can go as fast as you want! Traffic laws exist! Like speed li—”

James twisted towards me, his pupils very obviously blow wide despite the low lighting, “Racheal! I’m not kidding around! Sit back! Now!”

He cannot tell me what to do! He’s the one being dangerous! At least I have a seat belt on! Even if it extended a little. “Not until you slow down!”

His leg jolted down as his foot jammed on the brake. I felt nothing, not even the deceleration that should have happened. I grabbed onto the seat in front of me and watched the moon spin outside the window.

Closing my eyes, images of grainy chunks of sand and red stained rocks filled my mind.

Put a break between each paragraph, I'm not able to read it right now, busy day and all, but I will read it soon.