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It had taken just a few DMs to make sure Otto was in a good mood before coming up to see him. They'd agreed, for their mutual mental benefit, that it was for the best they physically part ways until they could be in a room together without tearing each others clothing off. And it made sense; it was important, and it was working. Maebe couldn't know that Otto's personal journey was working or not, but she could tell that hers was, and that was enough for her.

At the same time, it tore at her when all she could do was talk to him through texts. If she could truly have trusted herself around him, maybe they could have had a normal, healthy talk. Maybe things wouldn't have to hurt so much.

And then she had a brilliant* idea.

So she was at his doorstep after checking up on him with DMs, knocking excitedly. She'd worn her least sexy outfit, which really just meant her shirt actually fit and wasn't bought at the pre-teen section of Forever 21, and she'd worn pants. Pants, for God's sakes. She was practically a hag.

At her side, hidden from the doorway, was her plan. And she looked far too excited to put it into action.



*spoiler it's not brilliant its really dumb.

He was right of course. That smile was dangerous, and it stabbed her right through the heart. Her own excitement ebbed away for a single moment, before he reminded her that she had a plan, and it returned in full force. She grinned childishly, and took her plan up from its resting place against the outside wall.

It was a weirdly cut piece of white cardboard.

"Well." She walked in and closed the door behind her, grabbed his hand, and dragged him all the way to the couch. "I was thinking. We get along really well when we're not tempted. But, like, okay, real talk? I don't want to ban myself from you anymore. I feel like I did something wrong, and that's bullshit, but. It was necessary. Until now."

She sat him down on his side of the couch, and successfully ignored the urge to curl up against him. Instead, she gave him one last proud grin, and then slapped the cardboard between them. "See? We can't see each other anymore. It's perfect. Oh and look-" The cardboard wasn't cut like a perfect square - there was a piece missing, near the bottom, and her hand suddenly appeared inside of it. "There's even a place where we can hold hands, but that's it. Because hand holding is okay, isn't it?"

She leaned over, just one eye peering past the cardboard to see him; to gauge his reaction.

"We can hang out, or, or we can just talk, and - and it'll be okay." Her expression pinched with anxiety. "Won't it?"

Like a puppy seeking attention, Maebe bent further inward when he disappeared in order to keep her eyes on him. She saw him holding back the giggles, and her face crunched up with pouty, childish frustration.

"You're laughing at me!" She proclaimed, smacking the thumb with one hand and then flopping down on the other side of the couch with a pillow pulled firmly over her head. The last thing she wanted was Otto laughing at her, when she'd put so much thought into this.

She should have drawn a big p***s on his side.

"You suck."

"NOT ANYMORE." She muffled through her pillow.

"Your butt's new with me."

Otto was really banking on Maebe being mature about this.

Maebe let out a long, frustrated groan, before finally sitting back up and staring at the cardboard. She glared, and glared, and somehow it didn't burst into flames.

"Be nice about this." She mumbled, her hand showing up in the little open square carved out of the side. "Or I'm leaving and I'm taking my wall with me."

She wanted this to work. She wanted it to work so much, she was going to ignore how much his reply reminded her that someone else was acquainted with his butt, too. She was going to hold his hand, and stay on her side of the wall, and just talk.

Her fingers opened and closed expectantly. "This is what's new with me. I've been having brilliant ideas all over the place."

Her hand squeezed his when he finally took it, and squeezed it again when he started to get Otto-y. She didn't call him on it this time, because he was trying, and she could tell. So she just laid back on the couch, hand clutched firmly in his, and closed her eyes.

She finally felt like she could relax.

"Probably better than this one. I mean, I feel like I've been having a lot of ideas lately. Not like, physical stuff like this. Just ideas about how to be.. somebody better. I don't know. They're probably brilliant."

Modest as ever.

"I bet you can, if you tried." She assured him, her lips turning up in a secret smile that he couldn't see from behind the wall. "I'll try too. Just because it's hard doesn't mean we can't do it."

How to explain what she was feeling, then? Her eyes opened and she looked up, staring at the ceiling in wonder. "I feel like something changed the day I realized I can't quit you. It's not like, oh, everything's fine now hurray! It's just - like - you know how you thought you needed to be alone to figure things out? And we let you, because duh, of course we love you. But the thing is, no one ever said maybe I needed to be alone. And I am now. Like, really alone. I haven't been with anyone since.." She paused there, grateful that the wall was hiding the tender blush her face was colored with. "Well, since us. Last us, I mean. You know what I mean. God."

It was hard to talk about this. Just, not impossible.

"And it's starting to hurt. My skin, my heart, everything just hurts all the time, and not even the good hurt, I can't even enjoy it. I never realized how much I needed to be touched, to be loved, to be wanted, until I didn't have it anymore. It made me remember somethings that you told me, once. About how easy it is to just, forget. When someone is."

Her hand slowly squeezed his again, leaving the words unsaid.

"So it turns out, I don't think we're so different in the end."