Shibrogane
The day seemed to take forever. Elke didn’t particularly have anything to do other than make phone calls, and as much as it rankled to have to admit she wasn’t alright to new people it was less embarrassing than having her mother do it for her. She was nineteen, she’d had a baby, she didn’t need to be mollycoddled like that anymore.
As always, the thought of Orianna brought her hand to her phone, where she flicked through each photograph. So small. Elke had never really thought she would live. It’d been nice to hope, though… She put the phone away and woke up her desktop. There wasn’t anyone to talk to online; Carson was in lecture, and he was really the only person she cared to talk to. Did Finn even have instant messenger? She sent a note to Serenade, apologizing for her absence, and shut the program down.
Dusk finally rolled around, and she caught a bus back up to campus. At the union, she flashed her student ID card--now reading Class of 2019 where it’d once said 2017, which burned--and stepped inside, frock coat collar still pulled up over the lower half of her face. Though it was cold, she waited there behind the wide glass panes until she saw Carson. “You didn’t tell me it was a children’s movie,” she teased. Did she sound as relieved to see him as she felt? She hoped not.
They shared a bag of popcorn, one of the ones pre-popped by the student representatives, and watched the movie on one of the lounge couches, so close that their thighs touched. If Elke had to subtly brush tears out of her eyes, no one noticed. As the credits rolled, she said, “Do you want to--um, thank you for inviting me. I really enjoyed it.” Even though it was sad. “We should do this again sometime?”
As always, the thought of Orianna brought her hand to her phone, where she flicked through each photograph. So small. Elke had never really thought she would live. It’d been nice to hope, though… She put the phone away and woke up her desktop. There wasn’t anyone to talk to online; Carson was in lecture, and he was really the only person she cared to talk to. Did Finn even have instant messenger? She sent a note to Serenade, apologizing for her absence, and shut the program down.
Dusk finally rolled around, and she caught a bus back up to campus. At the union, she flashed her student ID card--now reading Class of 2019 where it’d once said 2017, which burned--and stepped inside, frock coat collar still pulled up over the lower half of her face. Though it was cold, she waited there behind the wide glass panes until she saw Carson. “You didn’t tell me it was a children’s movie,” she teased. Did she sound as relieved to see him as she felt? She hoped not.
They shared a bag of popcorn, one of the ones pre-popped by the student representatives, and watched the movie on one of the lounge couches, so close that their thighs touched. If Elke had to subtly brush tears out of her eyes, no one noticed. As the credits rolled, she said, “Do you want to--um, thank you for inviting me. I really enjoyed it.” Even though it was sad. “We should do this again sometime?”
Carson hadn’t expected the movie to be sad, but he should have. The Disney of his youth had loosed The Lion King on the world and traumatized an entire generation. He only hadn’t noticed Elke wiping tears from her eyes because he’d been too busy hiding his own. Stuff about brothers was just - his weak spot, okay? At least he hadn’t missed her asking a question once it cut to credits - “Yes,” said Carson emphatically, leaning down to retrieve his bag from under the seat. “I-”
He wanted to kiss her, but he was concerned that would be way too forward right now. “Do you want to go grab coffee?” he asked, and then considered that it was a bit late at night for actual caffeinated coffee - but asking Elke to go for dessert seemed like a really terrible idea. Coffee sounded more european and came with less pressure to actually eat anything, and while he knew recovery is a process because he’d been told the same about his nightmares and his panic attacks, he also didn’t want to be that guy.
“There’s a little cafe I like. It’s kind of shady and european-feeling and they make a really good cappuccino,” he suggested. “We can go, talk about the movie?” And other things, he hoped - like their relationship status.
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She nodded, and rose from her spot as she pulled her coat back on. “Okay,” she said, and then--“Okay. Lead the way?” Coffee sounded nice and neutral. It wasn’t like he was inviting her up to his apartment for it, which would be--it would be nice, she allowed, but too soon. They’d only known each other a couple months. “Although it might be a little late to drink anything with espresso.” Elke smiled at him and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. Maybe it was time for a haircut?
The cafe didn’t exactly feel like the little French hole-in-the-walls she was used to from Paris, but that was alright. She held Carson’s hand and spent an awkward amount of time looking at the menu and trying not to count calories, and eventually they ordered and sat down. Elke perched half-nervously on the edge of her seat. “It was sweet,” she said, continuing the conversation they’d been having on the walk over. “But I don’t understand why Tadachi had to die.” She twisted one of the ribbons from her coat around her fingers, practicing a little magic trick she’d learned in rehab. The Impossible Knot, they’d called it. It was something to do with her hands, anyway.
“I don’t know why he wouldn’t,” she said. “I don’t know what part of the story he’d have to fulfill. And I know it’s a major emotional beat, but…” She frowned at her hands. “...I don’t understand.” She didn’t understand a lot of things, but that was something she wasn’t going to bring up in mixed company.
The cafe didn’t exactly feel like the little French hole-in-the-walls she was used to from Paris, but that was alright. She held Carson’s hand and spent an awkward amount of time looking at the menu and trying not to count calories, and eventually they ordered and sat down. Elke perched half-nervously on the edge of her seat. “It was sweet,” she said, continuing the conversation they’d been having on the walk over. “But I don’t understand why Tadachi had to die.” She twisted one of the ribbons from her coat around her fingers, practicing a little magic trick she’d learned in rehab. The Impossible Knot, they’d called it. It was something to do with her hands, anyway.
“I don’t know why he wouldn’t,” she said. “I don’t know what part of the story he’d have to fulfill. And I know it’s a major emotional beat, but…” She frowned at her hands. “...I don’t understand.” She didn’t understand a lot of things, but that was something she wasn’t going to bring up in mixed company.
Carson sighed, and for a moment he debated whether he'd brought Elke to the wrong movie. It wasn't as though he'd known what was going to happen! He'd never seen it before, either. But as for what to say to her, well... He doubted she'd appreciate if he answered "emotional manipulation on the part of the filmmaker."
Instead, he said, "I guess it's kind of like Mufasa." Which probably counted on Elke having seen The Lion King as a kid, but he was pretty sure that was an international phenomenon.
"We could just get tea," he suggested as they ducked into the cafe. "They do loose leaf." Carson did not pretend to be a connoisseur of any kind, but he knew loose leaf could instantly make you look 200% classier and he, estranged as he was from most of his family, was Not Classy Enough to date Elke Arma.
He went ahead and ordered a slice of cheesecake for himself: there were just certain things that were not nearly the same overseas.
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“That’s a good idea,” she agreed, and she ordered something that looked fresh and fruity--more dried fruit than tea leaf--at least it wouldn’t keep her up all night. “You said you come here often?”
She wanted to ask if he still wanted to be… well… more than friends. But that seemed intrusive, like it might drive him away instead of drawing him closer. Maybe he’d kissed her because he’d had no other prospects in France. Maybe he’d thought she’d be temporary, and felt trapped now. Would she be alright with a partner who was only going through the motions? Did she even need a partner like that? She got up in the morning because it was what people did. She went to class because it was what people, healthy people, did.
Elke picked at a corner of the table where the lacquer was starting to chip. “Did you have classes today,” she asked. She was fairly sure he had, but saying so… it’d be rude.
She wanted to ask if he still wanted to be… well… more than friends. But that seemed intrusive, like it might drive him away instead of drawing him closer. Maybe he’d kissed her because he’d had no other prospects in France. Maybe he’d thought she’d be temporary, and felt trapped now. Would she be alright with a partner who was only going through the motions? Did she even need a partner like that? She got up in the morning because it was what people did. She went to class because it was what people, healthy people, did.
Elke picked at a corner of the table where the lacquer was starting to chip. “Did you have classes today,” she asked. She was fairly sure he had, but saying so… it’d be rude.
“I’m in the process of finding new favorite spots,” said Carson, sitting down across from her. “I like this place. It’s quiet and they have bottomless coffee and tea most days.” He liked it a lot better than the library, which was always too crowded for words, and his apartment was just not suited at all to studying. Actually, his apartment was not suited to much more than sleeping, and he was seriously reconsidering his decision to live somewhere he could not cook anything more complex than ramen.
He nodded, unwrapping his silverware. “Intro to criminology.” It had been interesting - he was sure it would pick up as the quarter went on and they were doing more than just going over the syllabus and book list. “Did you? Or is Thursday one of your off days?”
How, he wondered, scraping lines into the top of his cheesecake, could he transition this conversation to being about them without making this totally and completely awkward? He was nearly sure she was still interested… Carson swallowed, trying to clear his throat. “I - I was wondering, would you be interested in picking up where we left off in Paris?”
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She nodded. “I can show you some places, if they’re still open.” That was a big ‘if’. Last time she came around to Destiny City, the situation had been very different. Who knew what had been shut down in her time away?
Elke tucked both hands around her mug of tea and inhaled its sweet aroma. “I only have classes on Wednesday and Friday,” she admitted. “My English lecture with you, and an algebra class on Friday evenings. I’m… not all that good at math.” She did alright, but she wasn’t up to college calculus yet. At least her language proficiencies had knocked out a solid handful of her requirements to graduate. “I made some phone calls and sent a message to an old friend, but that’s all I did.”
As for Paris, she frowned. “Where we left off?... I, um. I was hoping we could actually date, and… have words for it… if we were going to continue…” Illicitly smooching sounded kind of childish and silly. “Kissing,” she finished, setting down her mug. “But I don’t even know that you’d want to date me. It’s very May-December, is all. I don’t… I’d like to. If you wanted to be my boyfriend.”
Elke tucked both hands around her mug of tea and inhaled its sweet aroma. “I only have classes on Wednesday and Friday,” she admitted. “My English lecture with you, and an algebra class on Friday evenings. I’m… not all that good at math.” She did alright, but she wasn’t up to college calculus yet. At least her language proficiencies had knocked out a solid handful of her requirements to graduate. “I made some phone calls and sent a message to an old friend, but that’s all I did.”
As for Paris, she frowned. “Where we left off?... I, um. I was hoping we could actually date, and… have words for it… if we were going to continue…” Illicitly smooching sounded kind of childish and silly. “Kissing,” she finished, setting down her mug. “But I don’t even know that you’d want to date me. It’s very May-December, is all. I don’t… I’d like to. If you wanted to be my boyfriend.”
Well, that sentence was a roller coaster from start to finish, thought Carson, who thought that maybe Elke was trying to let him down easy but also that she was receptive to the idea of going out to him. It was very confusing, and maybe she thought that he had more romantic experience than he actually did. “Yes, that,” he said, perhaps sounding a little bit more hasty than he’d meant to.
“I - I’m not that much older than you,” he stammered. Six years wasn’t that much, was it? Or - wait. Was it these days? His parents - both sets of them, biological and adopted - had much larger age differences than that. “Is six years scandalous? I mean - we’re both freshmen.” Had he just stuck his foot in his mouth? Honestly, he couldn’t even tell at this point, he just wanted so badly for Elke to still like him.
Carson paused, trying to collect himself before he made this even more awkward than it already was. “I mean - yes, I would really like to date you and be your boyfriend and make this more formal, is that okay?” Honestly, from where he was seated they seemed like they were at the same places in their lives - though he wasn’t sure she’d appreciate being told that, so he didn’t say so.
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It was certainly a smaller age gap than she’d had with Menachem. Than Aria had had with Menachem, Elke corrected herself, and she sipped her tea to cover her momentary consternation. “It’s a little scandalous,” she said. “I’m not sure I care, but. I thought maybe you might?”
Elke twisted two fingers into her hair and smiled at Carson, the corners of her green eyes crinkled just slightly. “If you want to, I’m not put off by it,” she repeated. “I like you a lot.” She looked down to her tea, and with her free hand fished the strainer out of it. “For the record, I’m technically a sophomore.” She’d completed an entire semester before complicating events had forced her to drop out, and that on top of her credits from her languages put her squarely in sophomore territory. Since she hadn’t completed all of her freshman year requirements, though…
She sighed, light and sweet. “So. Will you go out with me?”
Elke twisted two fingers into her hair and smiled at Carson, the corners of her green eyes crinkled just slightly. “If you want to, I’m not put off by it,” she repeated. “I like you a lot.” She looked down to her tea, and with her free hand fished the strainer out of it. “For the record, I’m technically a sophomore.” She’d completed an entire semester before complicating events had forced her to drop out, and that on top of her credits from her languages put her squarely in sophomore territory. Since she hadn’t completed all of her freshman year requirements, though…
She sighed, light and sweet. “So. Will you go out with me?”
“Sorry,” said Carson, laughing just a little bit. “I hope I haven’t wounded your academic pride with my mistake.” He’d just thought, because she was in a freshman composition course… But she’d gone on medical leave halfway through the year, so that made sense. His own plan was to make it through undergrad as quickly as he could - he was already behind enough as it was, and he had plans. Ambitions!
But all of that squarely took a back seat to the fact that Elke Arma had just agreed to be his girlfriend. “It would be my honor to go out with you,” Carson said with a smile. She was so, so out of his league, he thought, but somehow this was happening.
“Well,” he said. “That’s one good thing to come out of getting hit with a car bomb.”
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“Correlation isn’t causation,” she said, reaching across the table to gently punch him in the shoulder. It was more of a brush of the knuckles than anything. She was smiling as she did it. “Please don’t try to replicate the feat with any more car bombs, okay? It won’t work twice.”
She leaned forward, elbows on the table no matter how rude it was. “So now we set up a date. Do you want to have dinner with me, maybe on Sunday?”
She leaned forward, elbows on the table no matter how rude it was. “So now we set up a date. Do you want to have dinner with me, maybe on Sunday?”
Carson felt positively giddy, and it sure seemed like she was feeling the same - he wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Elke as animated as she was now. “I have zero intention of ever being caught in a car bomb ever again,” he assured her. The first one, even though it had brought him to this moment, had also done much more harm than good.
“Sunday,” he said. “Sure. You want to pick a place? I can pick you up.”
He paused, considering, and then asked, “When is your mother getting into town?”
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She nodded. “Okay,” she said, in case that wasn’t clear enough. “Um… I’m supposed to meet her at the airport on Monday afternoon. So, soon.” But not too soon. At least if their first date-date was a catastrophe, Elke would already know and wouldn’t have to deal with Aysel’s pitying looks.
The light blush that stained her cheeks only grew darker when she realized how that sounded. “Not that I… you must think I love the taste of my own feet,” she said. “I keep sticking them in my mouth.”
The light blush that stained her cheeks only grew darker when she realized how that sounded. “Not that I… you must think I love the taste of my own feet,” she said. “I keep sticking them in my mouth.”
Well, that made sense. She’d already said that her mother would arrive next week, and, well, monday was next week. It was probably better that Aysel arrive sooner than later - Elke seemed to be holding her own so far, but he was definitely nervous about how long she could keep that up for.
As for sticking her foot in her mouth, well, Carson wasn’t sure what she meant by that. If there was something odd about how she’d phrased her mother’s impending arrival, he hadn’t caught it. Any innuendos had gone right over his head. “Sorry?” he asked. “I don’t follow.”
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“If you don’t follow, I won’t explain it,” she said primly. “I am the very soul of innocence, good sir.”
That joke was more darkly humorous than she’d meant it to be. She only said it because he couldn’t call her on it.
That joke was more darkly humorous than she’d meant it to be. She only said it because he couldn’t call her on it.
When she put it that way, Carson was almost certain he’d missed something meant to be a dirty joke. He was well-versed in the kinds of innuendos that soldiers made at each other. The sorts that young women made seemed to be more subtle, more carefully constructed. Blink and you’ll miss it. He narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you really?” he asked. “You don’t have to answer that.”
He knew better than to pry.
