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 Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 12:29 pm
If you want to critique someone's work please do it here. be sure that you specify which story is being commented upon and use gentle words. Do not say 'that s**t sucked' for I will delete the post immediately. Instead, approach your commentation in a polite manner. For example:
"Title Here": The story seems to be headed in the right direction but you have a minute amount of syntax error and you may want to be more descriptive. Perhpas a thesarus would be a good aide. ^_^
Thanks.
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Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:05 pm
This is for Robotic Sunrise:
-blinks- Wow. That is one of the most interesting point of views that I have ever had on incest. It's creepy, you describe it was such intensity that I find myself falling into the piece, completely absorbed by its straight forward account. Keep it up.^_^
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Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:09 pm
White room is interesting... I just want to hug the little boy, or at least give him cookies. The poor dear. At least he has someone right now, even if it's not his much loved father.
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Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:35 pm
This is for Chakpu:
That story is incredible! Must read more now! lol^_^ yeah...short...sorry...I will give you more constructive criticism when my brain isn't all foggy sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:21 am
EternalMisfit This is for Chakpu:
That story is incredible! Must read more now! lol^_^ yeah...short...sorry...I will give you more constructive criticism when my brain isn't all foggy sweatdrop WOO!
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Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:02 am
I like how you have the menacing air in the Hands part of the story Misfit.
it really gets the cold detachment across. mrgreen
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 5:04 pm
Chikapu I like how you have the menacing air in the Hands part of the story Misfit. it really gets the cold detachment across. mrgreen
aww, thanks Chikapu^_^ I will be updating my story tonight. I spend forever typing it...sticking my nose in a thesarus and seeing how many new words I can learn.lol.
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 10:40 pm
Shhhwwweeet.
more story makes me happy.
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 10:41 pm
My story is finally put up (well, some of it, anyway)
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:08 pm
Delany~
Very interesting.
But why is Flare in a kimono? you describe her as having a very non asian trait, blue eyes, and yet she'd got a kimono.
but other than that very interesting keep up the good work!
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:32 pm
Chikapu Delany~ Very interesting. But why is Flare in a kimono? you describe her as having a very non asian trait, blue eyes, and yet she'd got a kimono. but other than that very interesting keep up the good work! I think she's in a Japanese temple. Consider this, she's a human in the middle of anthroville Don't mind me, I'm co writer ^.^;
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:49 pm
Chancewolfhog Chikapu Delany~ Very interesting. But why is Flare in a kimono? you describe her as having a very non asian trait, blue eyes, and yet she'd got a kimono. but other than that very interesting keep up the good work! I think she's in a Japanese temple. Consider this, she's a human in the middle of anthroville Don't mind me, I'm co writer ^.^; I dun mind. but this poses some other questions... questions i'm too tired to think of...
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:59 pm
I dunno what Delany intends, specially with that quote, but it doesn't specifically say it's in the USA. Also, it is far in the future, so you never know.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 10:49 am
Ok, now that I have time, Responses!!
-> Chikapu: Well, Anthropolis was originally made to be an anime that Chance and I started working on (even had ideas for manga pages...) so that would explain why Flare has blue eyes and oddly colored hair.
Blue eyed anime characters that exist: naruto for one. ( I know there are others)
Sometimes different eye colors help to distinguish a character from others, show that they're important to the plot, and Flare is definately important to the plot.
About the quote:
Like Chance said, I don't specifically say if the story takes place in the U.S., it's just me and the third collaborator of the story (my ex-boyfriend, but we're friends now) went aliitle deeper into the actual world of Anthropolis and what kind of rule it's under: Capitalist. The quote merely reenforces that idea as everything is mostly run by money (and politics).
Hope that cleared some things up ^_^
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 12:59 pm
DelaneyMage Ok, now that I have time, Responses!! -> Chikapu: Well, Anthropolis was originally made to be an anime that Chance and I started working on (even had ideas for manga pages...) so that would explain why Flare has blue eyes and oddly colored hair. Blue eyed anime characters that exist: naruto for one. ( I know there are others) Sometimes different eye colors help to distinguish a character from others, show that they're important to the plot, and Flare is definately important to the plot. About the quote: Like Chance said, I don't specifically say if the story takes place in the U.S., it's just me and the third collaborator of the story (my ex-boyfriend, but we're friends now) went aliitle deeper into the actual world of Anthropolis and what kind of rule it's under: Capitalist. The quote merely reenforces that idea as everything is mostly run by money (and politics). Hope that cleared some things up ^_^ but Naruto's blonde. (and in a neon orange jumpsuit for god only knows why.... Who in their right mind puts a Ninja in bright orange?) I should say is that you describe the area as having a ghetto futuristic feel. when there was mention of the temple (no good descriptions as to what sort of a temple) i started to think of a mosque or some other church like building. then bam! hit with asian clothing and blue eyes. Flare got an asian face when you mentioned her in a kimono so my head hit a brick wall when you then detailed her eyes. just pointing out somethings that people who aren't focused on anime would find odd. and the quote is fine. i like it actually. so keep on posting thy story. mrgreen
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