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 Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 11:34 am
Chantelle had really taken to this whole having an actual female body thing. When she moved, it was with a very calculated sort of grace and sensuality, but her expression oddly contrary, held something of bright eagerness in it. She dressed better than she had before, unable to remember why she had felt the need to conceal her slender body so much when there was frankly nothing wrong with it. Her makeup also had simplified a little, and overall she looked younger and brighter than any time before.
She stopped by the infirmary, tall heels clicking on the linoleum. Even with the additional height she was still short and her long black hair was perfectly groomed about her shoulders. Her nails were all daintily painted with various musical notes, most marked of these the semibreve on her ring finger.
Finding Horace she made her way over, all smiles, carrying a small stack of books.
"Hey there. I came over to give you some like owed tickling." she crooned, her accent American but subtle and believable rather than over the top. "But you don't look so good. You ok?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 12:19 pm
He'd figured she'd come - or maybe he'd hoped. It was less boring with people around, even people who seemed as vapid as Chantelle. He'd never met the girl before, but if Twitter was to be trusted (and usually, it wasn't) she was Jan's ex or something. Horace grimaced at the curtain. At the very least, talking to her would alleviate some of his curiosity and maybe get this damn song out of his head. With very little to do in the infirmary, he'd successfully earwormed himself no less than seven times in the past four days.
With a click of heels, the curtain was moving and a slim girl stepped through. Horace had sat up in preparation and now turned his head to eye her. Corset, dress, heels - she looked like one of the goth girls from his high school, a little prettier perhaps, but still all 'doom' and 'darkness' and 'gosh only vampires understand me'. He arched an eyebrow at her words.
"Chantelle, I guess? Bit hard to tell from only a picture of an eye on Twitter." But really, no one else had promised him tickles - which he should be thankful for. His chest was almost healed, only the barest of dressing covered it. He still refused to wear a shirt during the healing process, he was afraid of it somehow catching on a scab. Horace's chest would remain scarred and, oddly enough, the marks on his shoulder remained from where Jan had plunged his bladed hand in to, for lack of a better word, taste him. He shuddered suddenly.
Pushing his glasses up with his good hand, he gestured to the seat. She could sit there or there was, out of habit, a small space reserved on the side of his bed - usually for Harley or Oliver. They'd both been frequent visitors. "Yes, my ticklish spots will remain a state secret forever," he intoned with a bit of his normal melodramatic flair. "Mmm, okay is not a word I'd use, but maybe I'll be out soon." He shrugged. Horace sometimes didn't care if he'd ever leave and sometimes cared too much. His chart still said TBD.
"What're you carrying?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 3:15 pm
"Yep. That's me. Chantelle." she volunteered with a big friendly smile. For all her gothic appearance, the woman didn't seem capable of maintaining much of the stereotypical attitude. "I'd like, use my full picture but I got my eyes like, so good with those fake lashes that time and it would just like be a total shame not to showcase it." She made herself comfortable on the space on the bed, ignoring the chair and patting his leg. "You don't look like, all that bad." with her free hand she twirled a finger in a circular movement, imitating the circle on his chest. "Kind of cute actually." And then seeming to amuse herself she laughed, a laugh that was slightly dissonant with how she looked, though not enough to stand out. "Maybe you could like, be a superhero. Though kind of crude, O man."
She kicked her feet, pointing her toes and examining her boots, letting her hair fall down around her. "I'll find your ticklish bits though, when you are better. I'm just like, calling a ceasefire for now."
Picking up one of the books from the side table where she'd set them she brandished it at him. "Some like, true crime books. Ted Bundy and stuff. Really interesting. And like, in case you weren't into serious stuff, some 50 shades." she held up a hand to stop him interrupting. "Even if you think its stupid like, maybe you can read it for that? I don't know."
She shrugged uncertainly, giving him an intent sidelong stare.
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 3:48 pm
"They may well think that it is an O, but my gift to you is the explanation that it is not."
"It's not an O, it's a whole note," he said almost absently. If it had been about anything but this scar, he would've made a crude joke about super powers. Instead, his left hand reached up of its own accord to press against the raised edges of it briefly, and his eyes flickered with things he didn't feel like remembering. Horace was seeing Jan in everything, in the shadows of his memories, in the whiff of a lingering cologne, even in the small, straight lines of Chantelle's nose. But Jan was nowhere; Jan was podded, although Horace hadn't yet been able to see him. And perhaps that made it worse.
Horace flicked his eyes back at Chantelle and smiled although he didn't feel like it. Her slight weight was unexpected - although not unwelcome - on his bed. "Have you just declared a tickle war?" His eyebrow arced. "You realize that goes both ways, right? I'll tickle right back." He took the book from her and flipped it over in his good hand. He was still avoiding using his left hand, although it was well on it's way to mending. Her mention of 50 Shades had him snorting.
"I hate to break it to you, but I've read the entire 50 Shades trilogy already, Chantelle."
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 5:22 pm
"Oh!" she said. "I'd never have thought that. I thought Jerry and I were the only ones like into music on the island. That is actually like really cool. Did you do it yourself?" She beamed at him as if the idea of someone doing something like that to themselves was merely hardcore rather than completely insane. "It looks good, like. I mean, it's interesting." She said.
"And sure, it can be a war if you like." and she couldn't help but smile. "I like, warn you though I very rarely ever lose. And I'm not all that ticklish!"
But just when it seemed like her enthusiasm could not get any higher keyed, he mentioned 50 shades. "Oh emm geeee! You have?! We should start a book club." He leg got an enthusiastic pat as if he was a very good dog which had just done an unexpected trick. "Like, what did you think of it? I mean like, I know people said on twitter it was no good but you have to admit some of it was romantic right?" she sighed heavily, a hand at her breast in a gesture of overwhelmed romance. "I would love for someone to care enough for me to like, follow me and make their every waking moment about me. Wouldn't you?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 8:16 pm
"Not the only ones, I guess. I was in choir for a few years. Jan loves music, too." Horace almost didn't mention Jan, he was still hesitant, unsure, confused. For someone whose memory was only perfect for written word, it was surprising how perfectly he remembered everything. He almost wished he could forget. "N-no, I didn't do this. Uh, maybe I did." His hand waved dismissively in the air once as if to clear that thought away. "And yes, it's very... precise." His fingers pinched up a wrinkle in the bed sheets and smoothed it out. They pinched up another wrinkle in the sheets and smoothed it out. Again.
He had opened his mouth to speak when she excitedly patted his leg. His muscles tensed beneath her touch; he was already on edge. Chantelle was a sweet girl, if a trifle strange and Horace forced himself to relax. "It's only romantic if someone agrees to that, though. Both parties have to agree or it's not romantic. And Ana wasn't really happy for all of it." He sighed. He'd wanted to be someone's, Jan's, everything, but Jan hadn't agreed. Everything had to be a two-way street. He wasn't supposed to still want anything to do with Jan.
"How did you know Jan?" Her watched the way her hands fluttered around excitedly, music note on each finger, a... a whole note on the ring finger. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 9:16 pm
"Jan?" she asked, and pronounced it wrong. "He never really like, talked to me about music, whenever I tried to bring it up he'd wave it away like I was stupid." But she seemed to hesitate on insulting the other man further, perhaps for Horace's benefit. She did lean in to have a look at the mending wound.
It was amazing it had not gotten infected. Hunters were incredible and he wished he had had more time to experiment.
"It's like, pretty clean I think. They must take care of you in here. Well you did a really good job if you did do it. Its like, a strong statement. I like it when people make statements, really emotional ones." she beamed again, seeming to be in a very good mood indeed.
As for romance. "Well." she said. "Some romances take time to bloom. Like, have you ever read Pride and Prejudice? I mean, it took a while for her to realise she'd gotten the wrong end of the stick and her true love had meant well all along. So it is with some people and Ana well." she winked. "I think like, Ana was mostly playing within her own head, some people are like, submissive, really submissive, so submissive they can't even argue with their own head. They need someone who like, understands them and can get in there and sort their head out."
Extending her long but slender fingers she examined her nails thoughtfully. "That's like, what Christian did. He knew better and like if she'd listened harder he'd have sorted her out better. Like, fixed her up. I would have been a better Anna I think." she mused. "I'd have been like, worthy."
She came back from her reverie and gave Horace a confused look, tilting her head. "Oh. Like. We are cousins." she said before framing her chin with both hands and putting on a serious expression. "Can't you see the family resemblance?" she asked in a voice that was far too low for Lawrence and then cracked up at her own joke. "He's so silly. I used to have to like, watch his cats."
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 7:10 am
The way she said his name was horrible and wrong, but it didn't contain the heat or derision of everyone else. It was better than nothing. "He is very discerning in his music. He humored me." Horace didn't want to talk about Jan, no, not when the man haunted his thoughts constantly. Jan still loved him... or not... or nothing at all. Of course he hadn't meant to hurt him. How was he supposed to reconcile two men into one? Or maybe the hard part was that he could, almost. Horace could see both halves in the way Jan had read or stared out of windows or spent long moments simply in silence.
"A statement," he repeated hollowly, but said nothing more on the subject. He was a note, but not the melody, not the whole overture. But it wasn't over. Horace couldn't deny that he wanted someone to sort his head out. Did that class him in the 'too submissive to even exist' category? He almost snorted. Worthy. Oh. "But Christian wasn't even willing to listen to her. It would've been better if he'd listened to her, helped her through things instead of issuing an ultimatum. She was confused; he made her deliberately confused. It wasn't healthy. And the quality of writing was kind of awful, too." He pointed out. "You're telling me you would just do whatever someone said? Like if I said get up and twirl around, you would?" He picked at the wrinkle in the sheets again - not a nervous gesture as much as a subconscious one.
"That's not what he sounds like at all!" He laughed a little. Cats, the vet who had cats. "So many promiscuous animals to spay.' He shook his head then eyed Chantelle curiously. If she was his cousin... "Tell me about him? About what he was like before the island?" There was a quiet urgency in his voice.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 7:50 am
"Well that sucks." she said. "He never humoured me, would never let me play for him or play for me. He wasn't good at sharing with his family, not fair. I'd like to hear you sing though, I would humour you too." Once again she patted his leg, seeming to have no shame at all over invasions of personal space.
She raised a brow. "A statement? Hmm. Maybe it was something about the fact you can get all other notes from the whole note. Maybe you were saying like, you lasted longer, maybe in fact saying you were like, some kind of key to the other things?" she mused seeming to enjoy the challenge of the riddle written in his flesh. "Maybe you just really liked those notes." She shrugged and turned her attention to 50 shades.
"Oh yes, I would in fact." she said, and to establish this, she got up and twirled, her skirt billowing as she did so before sitting back down. "I would like, do pretty much anything someone I respected asked me to and I wouldn't like, question it." She did laugh though. "And listen to her? Obviously he like, didn't listen, that's the point in someone being in charge, she had to listen to him to better herself, to be like, healthy herself. He wasn't like, perfect but he was better than she was and every time she challenged him she hurt him. She made him have to punish her. Her subconscious like wanted the punishment but he had to shoulder the guilt for the things she made him do."
She looked almost irate at this. "I hear like, people say that Christian is a bad person but not so many people say Anna was a bad person, that she like, wanted one thing and then stabbed him in the back and got upset. It's a real like, shame. I'd be better, I'd do better."
"As for like what Uncle Jan was like well. He lived in a big fancy house, really huge. Like huge and fancy with big prints and paintings everywhere. He was always on the phone or his phone was always ringing. I liked his cats. He had one called Houdini I didn't like though, he was kind of mean, but he seemed to like that one the best, even when he got scratched." She looked distantly at one of the walls, walking her fingertips nimbly in the sheets, subtle but over and over. "He didn't talk to the rest of his family, I was like one of the few people he'd tolerate and even then I couldn't meet the old ladies that were his friends, he said they'd like have a conniption at the way I dressed."
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:19 pm
"Yeah, sure, I'd sing for you. I mainly know choral stuff, though. Sicut Cervus and all that. You play piano, right? Do you sing?" He paused briefly. "Jan writes music and I can't say I understood what I saw, but it looked beautiful..." It was full of discord and odd sharps and flats, named Melody. A song for his daughter that didn't make sense. He didn't flinch when she patted him. It was a little odd; Horace was used to being touch-happy only with those close to him. He decided next time she patted him, he'd pat her back.
"-key to other things," she said and all Horace could think of was Jan's cool voice, shivering along his chest, cold flesh and hot blood. "The first note, the master note. All others can be derived from it" But Horace could not aspire to be more than what he was.
The twirl startled him back to their conversation. "Really? So you'd do anything I said?" He made a noise of incredulity. Horace felt his head shake and continue to shake as Chantelle spoke. "It's gotta be safe, sane, and consenual, Chantelle. Just because Christian thinks she doesn't know what she wants or needs doesn't mean he shouldn't listen to her. She's still a person outside of him. And I understand the point and appeal of a tpe relationshionship, but this... wasn't it." The base idea of giving oneself entirely to another person wasn't bad, but there had to be trust. There had to be rules in place, there had to be things that just weren't there. The book was a poorly written thing that could've been something more and... wasn't.
He'd made the things happen to himself. It was what he deserved, what he got. "Ana wanted to be loved and instead she was only controlled. He didn't show her love, and maybe he just didn't actually love her at all - just wanted to possess. I don't see how she stabbed him in the back. Their relationship is not as beautiful as you make it out to be." His jaw clenched. To find, parallels in, of all places, a shitty erotic novel was utterly ridiculous. But he was utterly ridiculous. Horace resisted the urge to rub the side of his head.
Instead, he focused on what she said about Jan. It was much easier to remember the good things, the way being around Jan had made him feel. His eyes were caught by the movement of her hands, over and over and over and he shivered. "A-" He stumbled on his words. "A big house would suit him. Something with lots of windows." It was just his imagination that she even smelled like him, wasn't it? "He didn't talk a lot about his life before here, but I wanted to know everything."
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 3:18 pm
"I play piano yeah." she said eagerly. "And sing like, all right. Its nothing special. I'm not like, choir level or anything so I'd really love to hear you sing!" She couldn't help the enthusiasm. "I can read music too, I don't know why he like, didn't show me any of it either. I think he was quite shy about his work maybe?" Once again she shrugged, waving it off.
"And oh yeah sure, I'd do anything you said, you seem trustworthy, I have nothing to fear I'd. Most people are the same, there's like, no worst thing they could or would do to another person. Trust is the greatest thing you can give someone else, it like, does all sorts of things for them, and I'm pretty generous. Anna though, she was a person, she knew what she was getting into. She like, wanted to help him, and did." She shook her head. "And he didn't just want to possess her, just like, for him like. He had soooo much money, so many possessions, like, all he knows is how to possess. He like wanted someone who would give themselves to him entirely so that he could look after them and then let them safely close enough to like, look after him. She spent the novels like, not letting herself get that close, too scared she'd get burned up when like actually she'd be blessed instead."
She sighed. "Some people just like, don't know what a gift they have. He showed love like, the only way he could. I wish I had someone so intense."
"And well, he did have a lot of windows." she said. "A lot. Big panel glass looking out over his grounds. He must have like, had a lot of money? I mean, he helped a lot of crazy old ladies talk to their pets I think. He seemed like, pretty lonely though. I was pretty glad when I saw he'd met someone here who like, wasn't America, she always seemed really cruel to him, it was a real shame, he was pretty hung up on her. " she did give him a conspirational smile. "He mentioned you way more in like, more recent times though."
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:19 pm
"Chantelle," he said warningly. "That's not exactly the best outlook. What if I told you to strip and kiss my foot? Everyone abuses trust. Everyone. Especially the people who say they love you. And maybe people hurt you because they love you, they care enough to hurt you, but it doesn't feel good." 'I'm only mad because I care.' 'Why do you make me do this?' 'This is what you deserve.' Horace blinked rapidly. He was getting off topic. Fifty Shades, right. Of Grey. "There's a part in the book, the first one, I think... after a scene - you know what kind - Grey just left her. He hurt her and then left her without seeing if she was alright or anything at all. How could she have trusted him to look after her after that happened? He's the kind of person who uses people like items and eventually she would've gotten used up. He can't just care about her by giving her things, some of which she did not want." Things didn't equal love.
Absently, his fingers pinched up a wrinkle in the sheets behind the path her fingers took. By this logic, it meant that Jan loved America, even as he claimed not to love. This was no revelation to Horace, merely a beating down of the same tired old theme. Did that make America Ana? "Intensity is good; it's great. You think I don't want that too - of course I want to be someone's everything. And I want them to be my everything. But life doesn't work that way. And Christian and Ana aren't a good example of everythings," he ended almost sadly. Horace just wanted a romance like the books (not Fifty Shades) - was that so awful?
"As for his music, he didn't show me.. I just saw. It felt very private, so I didn't ask again. I really wanted to hear it, though he can't play. Since you sing, we could have a duet sometime." He smiled faintly, mind jumping from sentence to sentence in a concentrated enough of 'not thinking too hard'. "Still is hung up on her," he muttered, than looked up, startled, at her last sentence. "He m-mentioned me?" But why would he have, when there was something deep and black inside of Jan that only wanted to unravel America. Sometimes, Jan felt empty, but even in that emptiness, there was no place for Horace.
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 1:57 pm
"Then I would do it?" she said with a shrug. "I like, don't have anything else that I'm doing, it's more exciting having things to do even if other people say they might be an abuse of trust. Like, I'd rather be hurt by someone who loved me than be ignored by the people who don't." Still, she seemed to be paying rapt attention to everything that Horace had to say, she tilted her head. "There's nothing wrong with being left Horace, it's part of the kink too, he knew she was fine. No one was really like, in any risk. I don't know, I think I'd like to not have to worry about anything, just put it in the hands of someone else, someone better."
She kept up her little pattern with her fingers until she stopped suddenly. "Oh no they like, aren't the best example. Just like, one example of many. I just like, like some of the concepts in it. My life doesn't like, really have anyone else in it, I just know what I would like."
"Still?" she asked. "Strange, when he talked to me he seemed fairly negative about her, it was like, definitely you who got all the praise, he was completely smitten with you. He didn't talk with me about a lot, but he just seemed very excited about you. He mentioned that both of you went to the sahara and that he had hopes for all sorts of things in your future. Its like, a real shame he got in trouble."
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 11:47 pm
There were things Chantelle said that hit too uncomfortably close to the thoughts that whirled around in Horace's mind. Phrases that skirted along his emotions. skittering painfully. He shivered, small, subtle movements - an involuntary response to hearing things muttered out loud that he had thought but refused to admit. So instead, Horace focused on the things he could counter, on what he could fight with fact.
"Being left ain't a part of it, not normally. Listen, Chantelle, in things like this, in that kind of relationship-" God, this was awkward to talk about, but Horace thought it was Very Important to tell her, before she got herself hurt. He reached out and took her hand, trying to impart a sense of seriousness. "-you're never ever supposed to leave a person alone after a scene. A lot of, uh, submissive people, Ana included, enter into something called sub-space and subsequently sub-drop. It's a mix of endorphins and stuff that induce a drug-like high and after, a bad drop. Like people turn incoherent from it and lose the ability to make cognizant decisions. It's not safe to leave them. If someone leaves, then they really didn't love the other person after all." The last sentence was said almost sadly.
"Knowing what you want its fine, but sometimes going after it is dangerous."
"Still," he murmured. "Always." More contradictions wrapped up in pretty words. He wanted more than anything to believe Chantelle - she had no reason to lie. "There's a point where obsession and hate veer so, so close to love... But never mind. It's.... It's nice to think that maybe he thought of me once in a while. I... didn't get to talk to him before he... left." He was going crazy - there were equal parts in him that wanted to shake the truth out of Jan or simply wrap his arms around him, have Jan somehow explain everything away. Horace couldn't even say that if he could redo everything, the outcome would be different.
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Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2015 4:31 pm
Chantelle seemed to pay rapt attention to everything Horace had to say, her eyes flicking briefly to the man's hand and her own, smiling slightly to herself as she returned her attention to him. "Really?" she asked, evidently genuinely curious. "I've like, never been in a place like that before. That's really strange. Maybe Christian like, didn't know. I mean like, he's a lot of things but I don't think he's like, very smart, you know? Maybe he didn't like, go into that place and didn't understand. Would that make him a bad person if he didn't know? Would it change his love?"
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