Gabriel slowly pulled himself away from the warm embrace. He'd been lying there long enough, having awoken a while ago. But he hadn't been able to move away from her, hadn't been able to stop himself from staring. For all that had happened, the pain, the panic, he didn't want to leave her. He heart wanted, begged him to stay. But he couldn't do that. His time with her would be a wonderful memory, one he would cherish, but that was all it could be, a memory. He slipped off the couch, careful not to wake her, and went about collecting his things. The collar was the last thing he picked up, but he didn't bag it with the rest of his meager possessions. That, he just stared at.
He remembered the first day the kid had put it on him. It was a kitten's collar, too small for him now. He'd actually felt... happy, proud even. Someone had wanted him. Maybe humans weren't all as bad as the one that had put him in the box. That had left him in the gutter. His eyes closed as he felt that old chill up his spine. He couldn't remember his mother or siblings, but he'd never been able to forget that cold.
His eyes slowly opened again, narrowed. He'd been wrong. The gold pin winked in the dim light and his hand shook. They hadn't wanted him, they just wanted something for shows. A pretty puppet. And he was sick of strings.
The tag chinked and he quickly grabbed it, the name he equally yearned for and despised burning into his hand as he looked over at Kali, making sure he hadn't woken her. He watched her, breath held for what seemed like eternity. But still she slept and his lungs burned. His sigh left him in a quiet hiss.
Without any more dwelling on a past he couldn't change any more than he could let go of it, he carefully shoved the collar into his pocket. Catnip, that was what he needed. To get far away from here, find someplace relatively safe and quiet, and lose himself to it for a little while. He didn't go for the stuff terribly often, he much preferred the rush from sweets. But a bit of a down seemed like just the thing right now.
Gabriel moved away from the table, almost tripping over the bag of candy. His gaze trailed down to it slowly. The candy he'd gotten for Kali, that he'd wanted to share with her. Picking it up, he carefully brought it closer to the couch and set it back down. If he was going to leave, at least he could leave behind something nice for her to have when he was gone.
Something nice... His ears flicked back and he drew a flowerbud from his jacket. A little rose that hadn't bloomed yet, so soft. He'd meant to give her that, too, but had forgotten with everything that had happened.
He brought it to his nose and inhaled gently, ran the petals against his cheek. It would be nice to have something of hers, something with her scent on it so that he could remember. Ah, but how would he be able to forget? He'd had females in the past, but somehow Kali was different. He doubted he'd ever be able to forget her scent, even if he wanted to.
He carefully set the flower on top of the bag on the floor and turned away. But he did pause at the window, turned around as he slipped out and pressed one paw to the cold glass.
"I'm sorry." And for once he really was.
(WC: 616)
