graceangel
She came ready this visit. She had a small bag. The last few visits, she had started to think that Lily’s nails could use some attention. It would also be an activity to keep herself busy. Cerise felt deeply proud of herself for staying true to her promise to come everyday. Still, some days when she’d stay for hours and hours. She was starting to want to bring stuff to do. When Cherry was doing her own toenails the night before on her bed at home, she had the inspiration that Lily of course needed a fresh set on her hands and feet. Just because she was laid up in a hospital bed wasn’t a reason her friend couldn’t have right?
There in the room, she set up some items on the rolling table most people used for their meals. She turned on the lamp as she sat at Lily’s left side facing the window of the room. She half turned so she was facing Lily’s face in case she woke up. She took her hand in her own gingerly. She hummed a tune as she started first with nail trimming and cuticle pruning on that hand. She stopped every few moments to make sure she wasn’t disturbing or hurting the girl.
There in the room, she set up some items on the rolling table most people used for their meals. She turned on the lamp as she sat at Lily’s left side facing the window of the room. She half turned so she was facing Lily’s face in case she woke up. She took her hand in her own gingerly. She hummed a tune as she started first with nail trimming and cuticle pruning on that hand. She stopped every few moments to make sure she wasn’t disturbing or hurting the girl.
Kaori Luv
Lily lay peacefully in her bed, unaware for some time that Cerise was there or that she was working on her nails. It was several moment before she was roused from her heavy sleep. She opened her eyes and groggily look over the brown curl before her. Her vision hadn’t settled into clarity just yet, so she didn’t immediately recognize Cerise, but after a moment she gave a week half smile as the grogginess started to clear. “Hi,” she said softly. “have you … been … here long?”
Her sentences we long and drawn out, by gasping breaths and the slow tiredness of her speech. It was obvious to anyone with eyes, she was getting worse, but everyone hoped for the best, for the little red head with such a bright fighting spirit.
Her eyes drifted slowing to what Cerise was doing with her hands and she happy momentarily to enjoy the process. There was thoughtfulness in the gesture and it warmed Lily’s heart. She had been surprised to see the woman the first time, but was glad for her return. Her brother needed more friends and she was not naive enough to believe she was certainly going to live through this. She could feel that she wasn’t getting better.
“Xander,” she asked softly asking not for her brother but more where he was.
Her sentences we long and drawn out, by gasping breaths and the slow tiredness of her speech. It was obvious to anyone with eyes, she was getting worse, but everyone hoped for the best, for the little red head with such a bright fighting spirit.
Her eyes drifted slowing to what Cerise was doing with her hands and she happy momentarily to enjoy the process. There was thoughtfulness in the gesture and it warmed Lily’s heart. She had been surprised to see the woman the first time, but was glad for her return. Her brother needed more friends and she was not naive enough to believe she was certainly going to live through this. She could feel that she wasn’t getting better.
“Xander,” she asked softly asking not for her brother but more where he was.
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Cherry just smiled when an eye looked back at her. She had started laying down coats of primer that were drying fast enough to her liking. Then, she started on the colors. She held two up for Lily to pick from. “Pale Pea Green or Luscious Verde Stem?” Those being a pale olive that bordered awful close to a yellow tone, and the other a dark green the color of jungle moss.
When asked if she were there long, Cherry just smiled reassuringly. “Mmmm.. not too long today. I got here a little late since i had some things to do. Being out of town a while left me with a lot of catching up to do. You would also maybe be proud of me if I tell you what I’m secretly up to.”
Cherry listened to that quality in her voice. She wasn’t a child nor naive herself. However, she had began to start to believe against all hope that Lily would improve. She set herself in a stronghold of an optimistic mindset. As time went on, this sitaution kept looking dire and more dire. The worse it got; Cherry was fearing not just for Lily’s life. She feared what was happening to the family. She could see the suffering and agony in all of their faces.
What’s more… Cherry also felt like Lily was just too young to slip away like this. She was so young, and she had so much life to live. She really wanted to tell Lily to get better so they could have their karaoke party, but she thought she’d save that for times when Lily was sleeping for more than a day at a time. She really didn’t want to worry the girl either.
“Don’t worry, but I come every day sweetie. I’ll keep coming everyday. I’m making sure your bed doesn’t make you look like a zombie. I did your hair for you the other day. I can show you a mirror if you wanna see.”
When Xander’s name came out, Cherry looked around just in case he were secretly watching again. “Oh I’m sure he isn’t far. He’s probably on his rounds.” Part of her was tempted to make a comment about him just overworking himself, but she didn’t want to upset Lily or make her feel stressed. “Do you want me to go find him?”
When asked if she were there long, Cherry just smiled reassuringly. “Mmmm.. not too long today. I got here a little late since i had some things to do. Being out of town a while left me with a lot of catching up to do. You would also maybe be proud of me if I tell you what I’m secretly up to.”
Cherry listened to that quality in her voice. She wasn’t a child nor naive herself. However, she had began to start to believe against all hope that Lily would improve. She set herself in a stronghold of an optimistic mindset. As time went on, this sitaution kept looking dire and more dire. The worse it got; Cherry was fearing not just for Lily’s life. She feared what was happening to the family. She could see the suffering and agony in all of their faces.
What’s more… Cherry also felt like Lily was just too young to slip away like this. She was so young, and she had so much life to live. She really wanted to tell Lily to get better so they could have their karaoke party, but she thought she’d save that for times when Lily was sleeping for more than a day at a time. She really didn’t want to worry the girl either.
“Don’t worry, but I come every day sweetie. I’ll keep coming everyday. I’m making sure your bed doesn’t make you look like a zombie. I did your hair for you the other day. I can show you a mirror if you wanna see.”
When Xander’s name came out, Cherry looked around just in case he were secretly watching again. “Oh I’m sure he isn’t far. He’s probably on his rounds.” Part of her was tempted to make a comment about him just overworking himself, but she didn’t want to upset Lily or make her feel stressed. “Do you want me to go find him?”
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Lily looked from one color to the next, but didn’t really see a reason to pick one, “trade off,” she said softly. She wasn’t sure if Cerise would know what she was saying, so she followed with a soft, “both.” If she needed to explain further she would try but talking and breathing was a little hard.
Lily looked curiously at Cerise wanting her to explain, wanting to know what she would be proud of but a question stood more loudly in her head. She gasped trying to draw in a little extra air before trying to speak once more, “did … did you …. leave …. because … of Xan ...der?”
She was hoping not, but she suspected it, “... he cried …,” she said softly, not thinking that maybe that wasn’t something she should say.
She felt slightly bad moment later when Cerise was promising to come everyday and letting her know she fixed her hair. She flushed and nodded a best she could when Cerise asked about a mirror. She would have to try to find a way to thank Cerise for being there and trying to help. She shook her head in the negative however when Cerise asked about finding her brother. “Don’t dis… turb him…. he will … come . I am sure.”
She coughed momentarily and slipped into silence once more, not wanting to over tire herself or have further difficulty breathing.
Lily looked curiously at Cerise wanting her to explain, wanting to know what she would be proud of but a question stood more loudly in her head. She gasped trying to draw in a little extra air before trying to speak once more, “did … did you …. leave …. because … of Xan ...der?”
She was hoping not, but she suspected it, “... he cried …,” she said softly, not thinking that maybe that wasn’t something she should say.
She felt slightly bad moment later when Cerise was promising to come everyday and letting her know she fixed her hair. She flushed and nodded a best she could when Cerise asked about a mirror. She would have to try to find a way to thank Cerise for being there and trying to help. She shook her head in the negative however when Cerise asked about finding her brother. “Don’t dis… turb him…. he will … come . I am sure.”
She coughed momentarily and slipped into silence once more, not wanting to over tire herself or have further difficulty breathing.
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In answer to Cerise’s little secret, she smiled a soft secret smile and looked at Lily. “I have been working on a foodie video blog. I’m making my own micro shows of myself making stuff. I haven’t made anything that’s my best or using secret recipes I don’t want other people having. It’s been fun though.”
Cerise sat to painting the nails, but when the question came about her leaving. She paused entirely. Her expression went completely sober. She really disliked remembering that whole business. “Yeah. I guess it was. I ….. didn’t want to do that. I mean… obviously I did it, but… sometimes you think you should do something because it’s better for a person. I guess I don’t really know a lot about how to do things like that properly.”
That was an understatement. It might have been the only time so far in her life she did a thing at the expense of herself; throwing aside what she wanted that someone else might have a better life. “I had to leave. I couldn’t stay here. They were all lies though. I mean… I was just trying to push him away for his own good.”
She stopped herself. Her reasons for why she wasn’t good for him. Though the statement about him crying; that silenced her anyways. She slowly resumed painting Lily’s nails with a look of extreme focus. She was trying hard to not cry or look like an idiot in public.
“Well, if it makes anyone feel any better; I probably cried everyday for a long time. That was the hardest thing I ever did. I would never have been able to live the lie if I stayed in town. I always run into him wherever I go without even trying.”
She chewed the inside of her cheek trying to stop herself from babbling stupid things. Stupid, embarrassing things. She was a terrible person, and ever since that day, she had been trying to find a way to stop feeling so terrible.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry Lily. I hope you’ll forgive me. The first day I saw you here; I felt like you did already, but I just wanted to say it anyways.” My guilt complex consumes me is also what she would have liked to say. That chaos deep in her eating away at her. It always was torturing her over him. Using her love against her. When the hand she was painting was done, she got up and fetched the mirror to show Lily how she had layered the curls on the pillow so delicately.
Cerise sat to painting the nails, but when the question came about her leaving. She paused entirely. Her expression went completely sober. She really disliked remembering that whole business. “Yeah. I guess it was. I ….. didn’t want to do that. I mean… obviously I did it, but… sometimes you think you should do something because it’s better for a person. I guess I don’t really know a lot about how to do things like that properly.”
That was an understatement. It might have been the only time so far in her life she did a thing at the expense of herself; throwing aside what she wanted that someone else might have a better life. “I had to leave. I couldn’t stay here. They were all lies though. I mean… I was just trying to push him away for his own good.”
She stopped herself. Her reasons for why she wasn’t good for him. Though the statement about him crying; that silenced her anyways. She slowly resumed painting Lily’s nails with a look of extreme focus. She was trying hard to not cry or look like an idiot in public.
“Well, if it makes anyone feel any better; I probably cried everyday for a long time. That was the hardest thing I ever did. I would never have been able to live the lie if I stayed in town. I always run into him wherever I go without even trying.”
She chewed the inside of her cheek trying to stop herself from babbling stupid things. Stupid, embarrassing things. She was a terrible person, and ever since that day, she had been trying to find a way to stop feeling so terrible.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry Lily. I hope you’ll forgive me. The first day I saw you here; I felt like you did already, but I just wanted to say it anyways.” My guilt complex consumes me is also what she would have liked to say. That chaos deep in her eating away at her. It always was torturing her over him. Using her love against her. When the hand she was painting was done, she got up and fetched the mirror to show Lily how she had layered the curls on the pillow so delicately.
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Lily gave Cerise as big a smile as she could muster at the secret. “That is … amazing,” she said coughing a little at the end. “You … should use our … kitchen … one day.” She gasped a bit, and wanted to cry, but held strong. “Rose has … she has a … a camcorder … I bet she would … help you.”
She tried to taker a deeper breath so she wouldnt go into a coughing fit. “She is an … actress. I … am sure … she … would … like to help.” Lily gave a nod, slow and purposeful.
She listened to Cerise speak, closing her eyes, opening them every so often to show she was still awake, especially at influxes in Cerise voice when she could catch them. “You should … trust him,” she said softly with a sigh, “ … he is so good.” She gave a soft laugh, “too good … He’ll be there .... when you need … him … most … always.”
A single tear rolled down Lily’s cheek listening to Cerise and when she came back with the mirror, she didn’t look in it at first but instead took a breath. “I forgive you,” she said before he eyes roamed to the mirror looking to it, smiling but feeling sad. Cerise fixed her hair nicely, but she didn’t look good. Her skin was very pale and looked really terrible in her own opinion.
She tried to taker a deeper breath so she wouldnt go into a coughing fit. “She is an … actress. I … am sure … she … would … like to help.” Lily gave a nod, slow and purposeful.
She listened to Cerise speak, closing her eyes, opening them every so often to show she was still awake, especially at influxes in Cerise voice when she could catch them. “You should … trust him,” she said softly with a sigh, “ … he is so good.” She gave a soft laugh, “too good … He’ll be there .... when you need … him … most … always.”
A single tear rolled down Lily’s cheek listening to Cerise and when she came back with the mirror, she didn’t look in it at first but instead took a breath. “I forgive you,” she said before he eyes roamed to the mirror looking to it, smiling but feeling sad. Cerise fixed her hair nicely, but she didn’t look good. Her skin was very pale and looked really terrible in her own opinion.
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Cerise stared at Lily a few at the suggestion of using their kitchen. She then wondered aloud. “Hmm.. I wonder if it would look better with someone behind the camera. Like.. I just set it up on a tripod. Sometimes my dad helps. It’s hard to let him though. He’s always trying to eat stuff I’m using for cooking. Then, I gotta edit out a bunch of him walking in front of it.”
She mused about Rose. “Yeah that’s true. Maybe that’d also be a good chance for me to get to bond with her. We can get to know each other better.” Cherry looked wistfully as she was getting ready to get up and move to other side to do Lily’s other hand.
At the suggestion of trusting Xander, Cherry couldn’t help but spring a deep and earnest smile. “You’re right. I saw that in him right away. I always feel like… just by being around him I’ve started to become a better person.”
Cerise when watching Lily with the mirror. She looked at her with a great deal of concern. At the sight of the tear on Lily’s face, she wiped it with a finger and then hugged Lily close to her. She clung to her tight but gentle as to not hurt her.
“It’ll be ok. Everything will work out somehow. I just know it. Ok?” Then, Cerise thinking to maybe bond with her or have a more earnest and meaningful moment. “You know… he makes me a better person. You guys might not know this about me, but I can be amazingly selfish. Since having met him… I feel like my eyes were opened for the first time to a world outside of myself. One that’s both amazing and frightening….”
She stopped and then felt herself keep going. “I mean.. you guys all have each other. Growing up, I never really felt like I had anyone since my folks weren’t always around very much till I was older. My whole life the only thing that anything’s ever been about was myself. I feel like… sometimes… I feel like… almost as if the more I love him.. The more I’m with him…like I’m a new person.” Then, she stopped. She was talking way too much.
She sat down to paint the nails on the other hand. She peeked at Lily out of the corner of her eye. She really needed to comfort and distract them both. If Lily started to earnestly cry, Cherry could feel she was going to end up crying with her.
She mused about Rose. “Yeah that’s true. Maybe that’d also be a good chance for me to get to bond with her. We can get to know each other better.” Cherry looked wistfully as she was getting ready to get up and move to other side to do Lily’s other hand.
At the suggestion of trusting Xander, Cherry couldn’t help but spring a deep and earnest smile. “You’re right. I saw that in him right away. I always feel like… just by being around him I’ve started to become a better person.”
Cerise when watching Lily with the mirror. She looked at her with a great deal of concern. At the sight of the tear on Lily’s face, she wiped it with a finger and then hugged Lily close to her. She clung to her tight but gentle as to not hurt her.
“It’ll be ok. Everything will work out somehow. I just know it. Ok?” Then, Cerise thinking to maybe bond with her or have a more earnest and meaningful moment. “You know… he makes me a better person. You guys might not know this about me, but I can be amazingly selfish. Since having met him… I feel like my eyes were opened for the first time to a world outside of myself. One that’s both amazing and frightening….”
She stopped and then felt herself keep going. “I mean.. you guys all have each other. Growing up, I never really felt like I had anyone since my folks weren’t always around very much till I was older. My whole life the only thing that anything’s ever been about was myself. I feel like… sometimes… I feel like… almost as if the more I love him.. The more I’m with him…like I’m a new person.” Then, she stopped. She was talking way too much.
She sat down to paint the nails on the other hand. She peeked at Lily out of the corner of her eye. She really needed to comfort and distract them both. If Lily started to earnestly cry, Cherry could feel she was going to end up crying with her.
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Lily couldn’t help but to smile away at all that Cerise was saying, wanting to say not to edit her dad out. The sort of candidness was something she bet others would like. Like her food was so yummy camera dad couldn’t wait till the end. She was glad Cerise wanted to get to Rose and she really hoped it meant she wouldn't be running off again. Rose wasn’t so forgiving as her siblings and was a bit more sharp tongued.
She reveled in the gentle hugged and wished that Cerise could be right and everything would be okay. She wanted to believe it, she really did, but she couldn’t bring herself too. She lay in her hospital bed, eyes closed listening to Cerise talk about herself and Xander. How Xander was good for her, how she was better? Lily thought she had been pretty great anyway.
She gave a small yawn, which followed a bit of gasping. She was falling asleep, she could feel that she didn't have the energy to stay awake much longer. She sighed wishing she had a love like that, someone who made her new and better. “One day ….” she started but the rest of her words fell away as she drifted back into sleep.
She reveled in the gentle hugged and wished that Cerise could be right and everything would be okay. She wanted to believe it, she really did, but she couldn’t bring herself too. She lay in her hospital bed, eyes closed listening to Cerise talk about herself and Xander. How Xander was good for her, how she was better? Lily thought she had been pretty great anyway.
She gave a small yawn, which followed a bit of gasping. She was falling asleep, she could feel that she didn't have the energy to stay awake much longer. She sighed wishing she had a love like that, someone who made her new and better. “One day ….” she started but the rest of her words fell away as she drifted back into sleep.
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Cerise finished Lily’s nails. She was excited for her to see them, but she saw her drifting. She put the stuff away she brought with her. She went and slipped onto the bed next to Lily on the side with dried nails. She snuggled up to her to cuddle her while she fell asleep. Cerise kissed the side of Lily’s curly head. “It’s ok. Sleep sweetie. I’ll stay here with you. I’ll be here when you wake up. You can see how pretty your hands look.”
She said it in her most optimistic whisper she could muster, but she held her and looked off at the shadows coming in the door from the hallway. She sighed feeling concerned about the sounds of the gasping and the tear on Lily’s face before. She was feeling this was a lot worse than she was prepared to believe. Well, denial could be the best of people’s friends at times in life. She felt like someone had to be the strong one here. This family needed someone who was able to stand strong for support.
Then, Cerise only said one word. “Everyday….” That promise she had made the first day to come everyday. Everyday she had been coming, but just then she felt even more resolved to purpose herself to these visits.
She said it in her most optimistic whisper she could muster, but she held her and looked off at the shadows coming in the door from the hallway. She sighed feeling concerned about the sounds of the gasping and the tear on Lily’s face before. She was feeling this was a lot worse than she was prepared to believe. Well, denial could be the best of people’s friends at times in life. She felt like someone had to be the strong one here. This family needed someone who was able to stand strong for support.
Then, Cerise only said one word. “Everyday….” That promise she had made the first day to come everyday. Everyday she had been coming, but just then she felt even more resolved to purpose herself to these visits.
