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 Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 2:48 pm
There were places in these woods he didn't want to see again, memories just below the surface that he didn't need returning. Terror and fear, guilt shadowed his heart. Still he knew that he must return. He owed Ren so much more than he'd ever be able to give her, time and distance didn't make any of it less. She'd forgiven him, she would again, she was too sweet, too pure and loving to do anything less, but Kimi didn't come back for forgiveness. He wished she'd hate him. That would be best.
With paws as heavy as his head, as his heart, Kimi settled on the beach for a rest. Gazing out at the ocean and letting the cold wind and the sound of the waves washing up the sands soothe him. He'd been back only a short time, and yet already he'd met friendly faces, both familiar and new, he didn't know what to think of these new expectations upon him, or how his father had treated him as if he'd never left. So he didn't, staring out into the blue of the ocean, his thoughts adrift. If he just walked into the sea, could he escape again where would those currents take him?
Much later, Kimi left the beach and turned into the woods, he had a vague idea of where to go now, he'd been told Ren had settled in a rocky area with her family. A stream and white stones, a cave... he vaguely remembered a place, now he just had to find it.Chi Sohma
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v21/Kittyintheraiyn/Ulaya/rentag2_zps6d95d99f.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v21/Kittyintheraiyn/Ulaya/rentag_zpsa04d34a7.png
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 1:40 pm
There was a pain. So deep in to her soul that it had crippled her existence. She had loved, oh so loved her brother from the deepest and darkest more purest parts of her heart. When he left, so it would be easier for her to pick between him and Belial. It shattered her. For her mate, she tried to be happy. It wasn't working. He moved them from the beach life, and deep within the forest where white rocks had been. Still something felt empty and missing. Her smile began to be plastic made, and when she found out she was pregnant. A bit of her knew. Deep down. That it was not only her mates.. but.
It had been a long time, her heart felt like it could heal now. Meeting Balthial. Showing Belial just how much she had wronged him. Finally giving up her secret. Finally telling and admitting her feelings, thoughts and secrets. Finally she had been able to open up the new chapter without faking in front of her mate of the ulaya he had always thought her to be. In the end, she was still that innocent ulaya he had loved. Her love was so pure and earnest... and making her never speak about what she had done made her crumble and break her. Caused her to even burn down apart of the forest.
With the help of the medium, they were able to sort through the feelings. She was able to get better. Admitting she had still loved her brother dearly.. and one day she hoped he'd forgive her. Make amends for never going to find him when clearly he had sired half of her litter.
She was some far away in the forest. Close- but not too close to her home. While her mate was out helping his sister with her own home. Rennoa was left to her devices. Her children had already been teens. Off doing their own things. Visiting their grandfather, or going with their father. They grew up with an over protective yet distant mother and it had weighed heavily on Rennoa. The damage had already been done to them, being what little of a mother she could to them. Her inner flame that her mother had given her. The demon form.
Was restrained now, more than it had been. Extinguished from the forgiveness she wanted. Now, she was able to walk outside and feel something. Which was way better than nothing.
She was laying with her back against the grown. Looking up at the tree tops, letting the sun hit various places around her. Taking these alone times to rest her mind..calm her soul. The flower bed she had laid it, yielded to help her inner suffering. Freedom was all she wanted now. To finally say her secret to the one she really kept it from. But where..was he..
Lifting her paw up to the sky where she still laid there. Watching the butterflies fly around her. These simple things.. meant everything to her now.
'Kimi...' She thought to herself. The first time she thought of him for a few weeks now.. Her tails flickering around her. Twitching with minds of their own still.
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 3:56 pm
 As he walked the woods, he thought about the past, letting events and memories drift through his mind. Here they had played and there they had rest, napping together in the sun. If he followed a certain path through the woods there would be a cave. He wondered if blood still stained the rocks within, or if the passage of time had worn it away. The compulsion to harm, childish Revenge for slights existing only in godly arrogance, and cruelty. Entanglement with one god nearly ending Rennoa's life and another, prayed to earnestly to save it. Kimi often wondered if the god had only grown bored, vanishing on a whim. His scar had faded and the fur had grown over it, was he still bound, had he ever been at all?
The truth was, Kimi hadn't left to make things easier on Ren, he left because the choice Ren would make, the only choice, the right choice was Belial, and he wasn't going to sit idle when the inevitable happened. He wasn't strong enough to accept it. Knowing Rennoa was loving her, he did because he had to. Like breathing. Only someone very cruel could hate her, and his heart had never hardened towards her, could never. He loved her still, the distance he'd put between them had done nothing to change that fact. He wondered, as his gaze swept past the trees to the meadow beyond, if seeing her again would hurt more than staying away.
All at once his heart was in his throat and his feet were as lead. Ren lay on her back in flowers, the sunlight dappled through the trees, all he had to do was go forward and greet her. He had no idea what to say. His mind blank and his heart pounding, nothing he had seen, nothing he knew could help him in his. He still loved her as much as the day he'd left.
Somehow his feet moved him forward, steady for once, closing the distance. He approached without a word, without a sound and when he stopped, leaned his face into her field of vision, blocking her view of the sky beyond the trees.
Voice soft, he could only bring himself to greet her as if nothing had changed. "Hello, Ren."
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 9:59 pm
 This time, now without embaressment or being told it was wrong. Or to deny it, nor keep it in secret. She let the memories flood in, where only but months ago she had been trying so hard to forget them. Maybe it was forgetting them that caused her to go crazy. Not that she finally said the truth to her mate. She could think of Kimi without hating herself. It was the past right.
She was reliving these memories now. Remembering how they danced and played in the sands. Where they ran off together. She hadn't heard him get close, nor did she know that Kimi had been in town. If she had, she would have made herself scarce but she didn't know if she would ever see him again. When the real Kimi came up in to her vision above her. Blocking the sun from her eyes.. Her already hands that were extended towards him, she lifted her head dreamy closing her eyes, as she went to kiss him.. But when she did. It was solid. It.. she didn't go through it dream. Her eyes shot open. "KIMI!?" Quickly she rolled over and jumped back.
Her heart stopped..nearly catching up in her throat. Just.. staring at him..surprise filled her every sense and she lifted her paw to touch her maw... She... kissed him.... Looking back at him for confirmation.. Was he.. really real? Was he hear.. Those eyes.. that eyepatch covering the eyeball that she told him never to show anyone else.. He store for the eye patch. "Ki...mi...???" Tears started to swell up in her eyes.. Nothing could have prepared her of this. Taking another unsure step back..
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 3:50 am
Clearly, Kimihiro had not thought this through.
It had not been his intention to kiss her, he had not meant to be so close. It was only the briefest touch. A kiss in greeting, no one could blame them for it!
Rennoa shouting his name, rolling to her feet and backing away, as if horrified. He couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes again. Beautiful and pure mirrors of his own, he could not bear to see himself reflected in them once more.
"I'm sorry, Ren! I am so, so s-sorry... Rennoa." Though his voice had grown deep and strong with age, before her he was but a child and it wavered; broken and thick as his throat closed around her name. Overwhelmed tears came to his eyes, soaking the patch he never took off for anyone but her. He had held to that promise, always.
A shudder ran through him, he was hurting her again. Again, when he'd promised himself he would do whatever it took to never again cause her pain, his presence, just being here before her... It was wrong. He should have never returned, stayed in a cave on a frozen mountain. He should have walked into the ocean and let it swallow him. Anything but this.
"I'll go. I only wanted... selfish... but, I- I've always been." He shook his head and a wave of dizziness brought him to his knees, off kilter he dropped his head to his paws and willed it to pass swiftly... "I'm sorry."
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Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 11:40 pm
She.. had surprised herself. She was... frozen now. Just staring at him with disbelief. This was.. a ghost. Surely she had brought him from her own delusions of him. He had left! A ghost, but he couldn't be. She was memorized by, even his breathing. When he was apologizing to her, it was like she snapped back in to reality.. In which, like bewitched by him.
Literately having her paws glide through the flowers. Mid sentence she was already throwing her arms around him. Forgetting that she would topple him over, if he hadn't learned to be more stable. Just hugging him. She hadn't even realize that she had tackle him yet- no. All she thought about was just hugging again. Making sure he was REAL.
"Kimi... Kimi.." Her heart was beating in to her throat with how choked up she was. Having ignored what he was saying out of the pure shock she was under. "Where- How- I..I-.." The heart breaking clearly voiced in her tone. Leaning up to touch his face.. as if she had been blinded. Her digits softly touching his eye patch. Looking in to the orbs that matched her own with tender and emotion. "I was so worried.." Tears naturally came down her cheeks. Not even in the slightest, bit ashamed to be holding him. No..
She was healing from those days.. especially how tender her mate was with her in conforming. "Shuu..shuu.." She whispered in his ear and softly petted his face. "My kimi could never be selfish.." Brushing her digits against his chin and cheek. Just to realize that he was in front of her. "I..thought the worst happened to you..you never.. even said goodbye. Please- don't..Don't. Stay." Was she the one being selfish now? It was likely that she was. She had so much to tell him.. she needed to tell him.
In his absence, she was pregnant. In his absence, she gave birth, and Belial raised the kits to now teens. All these years he'd been gone. Those times she wouldn't get back. The pain, it wouldn't take it away. Time didn't heal her. It was coming clean to her beloved one. The one that stuck by her when she needed it the most, but to her. A piece of her just died inside that she could never recover. That was, the piece of the heart Kimi took with him..
What would he think.. When he found out the truth. These thoughts and many many more fluttering around her head as she held him in a tight hug against the flowers. Butterflies making a peak around them or so. The wilderness silence, of only song birds chirping around them.. The wild.
Then she rubbed her face in to his neck then chest. "Where were you!" Unexpectedly coming out as the thoughts got stronger. "Why..why did-" Sniffing.. Then hitting his shoulder, not very hard but enough to show him how upset he was.
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Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2015 1:44 am
Kimi did topple when Ren moved on him so fiercely, but his arms moved around her all the same, holding tightly. Hugging as if he wanted nothing more than this, as if he'd never let her go. He lay where he fell, letting Ren touch his face, even as the tears kept streaming down, soaking his face and clogging his nose.
"Ren. Ren..." It hurt so much to hear her so heartbroken, he let her do as she wished. Even if she removed the eye patch he wouldn't say a word against it. Soaked and worn out as it was, it needed replaced soon. He met her gaze, lovely eyes so full of tears, and she was worried about him. She didn't fault him leaving, only missed him. "I'm here now, Ren."
The truth of the moment hit him hard, here he was holding her so close, like a lover. He knew he shouldn't. If Belial or one of her kits should find them... He pressed his face into her shoulder and breathed her in. "I can be so selfish, Ren. Selfish and more. That's why I left. Why I didn't say goodbye. I never meant to make you worry after me. I convinced myself you'd forget me, and that would be for the best. At the same time, hating to think you would... but you didn't. Oh, Ren."
As Ren nuzzled against his neck, her pet her ears down. Holding her, trying to think of an answer. An explanation. Simple for now, later he could tell her everything. "All over. I just moved, day to day, one foot in front of the next until this winter. I met an old friend, he helped me come home again." The hit against his shoulder didn't hurt, he flinched all the same, kept petting her ears... so his Ren could get mad after all. "I'm sorry, Ren. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm sorry for hurting you. That's the last thing I wanted for you."
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Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 10:26 pm
Chi Sohma Skype Log She buried her face in his chest fur. He was softly petting her while her tails coiled around him as if they were kits once again. This was familiar, and missed. Terribly so. It took her a long hard tug of her own self to pull away from him. "An.. old friend..?" He.. didn't come for her. Knowing that, she felt almost jealous and afraid to know who it could be. Not the male who had turned them against each other she hoped. Her rough paw pads touched tenderly against his cheek.. Then burying her face against his cheek only to lick it. Like a secret before looking away and just staying there. She could die like this.. and it wouldn't matter. "You hurt.. me by leaving.. Part of me left with you.." The joyful happy go lucky princess. Pawing softly at his cheek fur as she rested her chin against him. "I swore If I just seen you again, I would think it a ghost brother.." Her voice was so much tender.. but lacking in the happiness she had once been overflowed with. "I have something to tell you.." Closing her eyes. Hoping he wouldn't be mad at her. Hoping. "I don't think you want to hear it just now that you've come back.. When you are ready... and I think we'd have to be sitting or like this for you to hear.. " Then covered her face in his fur. Taking him in. How she dearly missed him with all her might.
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Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 11:27 pm
Kimi wanted nothing more than to keep holding Rennoa in his arms and the feel of her against him. Her forgiveness, it was automatic, even with how much he hurt her. He knew he could never match her kindness, nor repay it. When she pulled away he let her go without clinging, although the reflex to do so was there. She was not his.
"Ah, I don't know... if you ever met him? A Draco, by the name of Hebi..." They only met once, when Kimi was still a kit and Hebi had taken him for a short flight one evening, shown him a view of their island that had never left his head and stoked the embers of wanderlust Tsu's stories had set aflame in him. Hebi had given him fuel to leave long before he actually would, and the wings to return home when he knew he had to return. He hadn't come back for Hebi, he'd come back for Rennoa. Everything he was, was for her.
When Ren leaned into him again and kissed his cheek, Kimi sat up, put his arms around her once more. "I realized that distance between us wouldn't change anything, that's why I came home. I'm sorry I hurt you, Ren. I'm sorry. I can't take back what happened in the past. If I could, oh dear Rennoa... I would. I would take back all those years. I would stay. Nothing can change what was, nothing can bring back those years."
What he wouldn't give though. To take away this sadness.
He was quiet for a time, until she spoke up again, and he was curious, touching her face gently, even as she closed her eyes. Kimi pressed a kiss into her hair as she hid her face him afterward. "I came back to hear anything you would tell me, Ren," he said softly, having no idea what it could be. "Whatever it is, it's important to you, if not now, I don't know when I'll be more ready to hear it."
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Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2015 11:01 am
Chi Sohma Skype Log She shook her head, not knowing truly who that was. But for her brother to meet a dragon!? The one who was..wobbly and fearful of others. In some parts, she was happy. He had.. been out of this confined beach and traveled.. But he came back. Leaning up and taking his cheeks in her paws. Looking intently in his eyes. "I need you.. to forgive me." It sounded as pathetic as she felt... Then moved her hands away from his face and lowered her face once more. "I don't think you want to hear it.. but I can't live like this.. pretending..... When you left.. I was pregnant..." Shaking her head. Trying to find the words to say it without seemingly like she was blaming anyone but herself. This was her fault.. That's why she needed forgiveness. "Nanami Kimiko and Kohaku Hizuki..." A big gulp... "They are.." She almost sounded hopeful not to get scorned, lowering her head.
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Posted: Wed Mar 04, 2015 12:40 pm
The intensity with which Ren stared at him, Kimi didn't dare to look away. This was serious as anything and he knew he must be strong for her and listen. Whatever it was. "Of course, Ren." He was quick to say, his mouth dry and his heart pounding, he clamped his jaw closed on his tongue to keep from interrupting her again as she struggled to get it out.
He didn't like hearing Ren so sad, so shaken. He curse himself a thousand times for leaving. For her pain. As she continued, no, he didn't want to hear it, but still he listened to her. "Nothing you could have done, would be...." he begins again, trailing off, tongue already sore from catching it between his teeth.
He frowned, these names, he didn't know them, he couldn't, he didn't understand. That Ren and Belial had a large litter that was already grown wasn't news to him now, although he'd yet to meet a single one of them. Now an inkling of horror trickled in, preceding the flood of cold dread.
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Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 12:49 am
Even if he reassured her, she knew. This news. Looking at him with the most endearing, yet pain filled eyes. "They run from your blood. More ...than other's would care to like." Her eyes slitted.. she was a mother. "Belial loves them just the same. Though he knows.. " Shaking her head lightly. "They do not bare his own blood." If she could cut this any smoother. She would, but he needed to know. She needed to know for herself.
"They don't know. Well.. Most don't know. Just One.. whom..ran away from me." She smiled.. but the pain she felt was nearly unbarable for that moment. "She said she doesn't want to see me again. I'm a lier.. and of many things distasteful." Tears were begging to be freed, but they hadn't. It hurt but it was true. Her choices, and her life decisons effected them all. But she didn't know what else to do but give them a father that hadn't disappeared. What did Nana expect from her!
"I was told that Father found her. She now lives with him.. I believe. But I'm not allowed near." She hoped he could understand. She hoped for so much. "I deserve it though." Giving him a nod, she was staying as strong as she could.
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Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 1:53 am
No. The word hung on his lips, frozen to his tongue. He couldn't dare say it but he could think it, a thousand times no. He didn't want to believe it, but denying it to her face was impossible. He'd done that to her. His beloved Ren, left her with that burden to bear for all these years. His blood ran cold as she continued on, but his thoughts raced. Who knew? What /would/ they think of him? What did they think of him because surely he was the last to know aside from her, from their children... There would be talk, of course-- All at once the gears in his mind stood still, Kimihiro sucked in a breath he hadn't known he was holding.
The pain in Ren's eyes, in her expression and voice. Her very presence was pained, it was obvious she was holding back as much as she could, holding back tears. He'd done this. They'd done this, but he left. If there was blame to place surely it had been weighing on Ren alone for all this time. If there had been talk and shaming surely Ren had borne it. Alone. Belial had raised their kits together with Ren and he himself had been nowhere to be found. "Rennoa."
Finally he began to hear the rest of what she was saying. One of their children knew and had all but disowned Ren, gone to live with their grandfather Tsu. Why hadn't Tsu said anything? The question flit through his mind but was silenced just as swiftly. This had been Ren's burden to bear and her truth to tell. "Ren, no. Please. If there is fault, if there is blame to place and punishment to come let it fall to me now. It was not by your actions alone that this, that all of this... happened. That I, did this to you, that I vanished for all this time. I can never ask your forgiveness, nor hers... but I will do anything in my power to make amends." He lift a paw to her face and cupped it gently, leaned his forehead against hers and wrapped his other arm around her to hold her close, anyone else be damned, this was Ren. "Let me try."
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:16 pm
Chi Sohma Skype Log All the years of blowing up and not being able to live with herself. Now at this moment, the only one who really hurt her the most. She couldn't even be angry with. Love for him extended far beyond this. "I took it because I am the one who kept it a secret. Now that you know.." A huge giant sigh of just pure relief.. When he put his head against hers. She finally looked in to his eyes. How he cupped her face. Was as if they were back in those days where it had been just the two of them. Unrequited love. "Kimi.. brother. Forgiveness my love, can never be taken from you. It was I who was looking for forgiveness." Now the tears flowed, but nearly only two she would allow to escape now. She was.. such a cry baby. Had she even grown up.. Around him. Likely not. But for Belial she was the detached broken mate he had, that he adored still. "Just... be easy with them.. They haven't met you.. You are just back today. You don't have to rush. Was done, has been done. Now there is only healing.. and now that I've told you.. I feel like I can finally heal too." Nosing her brother softly. Relieved more than anything yet affectionately.
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:17 pm
All the time he'd been out in the world, acting as if he could be carefree, Ren had been living with this weight upon her. If only he'd come back sooner, if only he'd hadn't ran away at all. Time passed and there was no way to go back, he could only make amends from here. Still, having told her truth, it seemed as if Ren was lighter already for it. Kimi released his hold on her and sat back, nodding as he listened.
"If that is the case, Ren, you're forgiven. Even before the words passed your lips. I could never be angry with you." He still didn't think she needed forgiven for anything, it was he who had left. It wasn't as if anyone expected her to leave her family and trek across the whole of their world to find him. Kimi brushed the tears from her cheeks. He had no idea how he would make this right, how he would make it up to her.
"Alright. I'll be around, Ren. I won't leave again. I want to meet them, all of them if they're willing to accept me. Runaway Uncle that I am." Kimi trailed off, bumping his head against hers again, gently. "If there's anything I can do..."
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