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 Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 8:52 am
Paris fiddled with the envelope in her lap on the car ride to one of her and Chris's favorite restaurants.
Friday the thirteenth should have come as a bad sign, yet she remained hopeful. Unfortunately, that hope did not stop her from second guessing herself. She should have insisted upon knowing the results of the pregnancy test earlier when they'd conducted the test at the doctor's. Instead, she'd had them slip the answer into an envelope and seal it so that she and Chris might view the results over a nice dinner for two.
It was a stupid idea, she thought. If the results weren't what they wanted, their whole pre-Valentine's night out would probably be ruined, and the romantic weekend she had planned would go straight to hell along with it. Paris almost ripped the envelop open right then and there just to get it over with, but she stubbornly restrained herself.
Once they pulled up to the valet, Paris unlatched her seatbelt with shaking hands. She noticed nothing of the exchange between Chris and the valet, and gave a start when Chris came around to take her by the hand.
Paris tried to smile as they entered the restaurant, but it felt forced and strained. This was supposed to be a romantic evening, yet as they were led to their usual table her thoughts kept drifting to the many what ifs that loomed just around the corner.
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Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 3:41 pm
Chris could tell that Paris was anxious, but he wasn’t sure what he could say to try and calm her when he was anxious as well. They were reaching the point in their lives where they wouldn’t be able to turn back. Even now it might be too late. He sometimes wondered if he would regret rushing into things like this, but then again… he would regret it even more if he lost the opportunity.
“Just breathe,” he prompted her as he released her hand to pull out her chair for her, waiting until she was seated before moving to the other side of the table to sit, himself. Their table was situated next to a tall window, and while it was already dark out, the curtains had not been drawn because it looked out into a courtyard that had been decorated and lit up with lights. For the most part, they were secluded from the rest of the patrons. The table itself had a candle and flowers, setting the mood for a romantic evening, but he knew Paris was thinking the same thing he was.
Maybe it was a mistake to wait until now to find out.
They ordered drinks and appetizers without mentioning the envelope, or moving beyond tense small talk. Any onlooker might assume he was preparing to propose, or maybe their relationship wasn’t all what it was cut out to be.
“I love you…” Chris finally said once their waiter left with their meal order. “Even if it didn’t take, we can always try again, Paris…” he reassured her, leaning on his crossed arms against the table. The anticipation was only making both their anxiety worse.
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Posted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 4:34 am
“I love you too,” Paris said absentmindedly.
She kept changing the position of the envelope. First she held it in her lap, safely under the table where neither of them could see it. But it sat like a heavy weight on her thighs and she soon moved it to the tabletop instead, placing it beside her neatly set silverware so that she might reach for it whenever she wanted. This resulted in her hand straying to it frequently, and as her fingers caressed the edges of the envelope her eyes would be drawn down to it.
So distracted and full of anxiety was she that Chris had to order her drink for her. She barely even looked at the menu; she picked something she'd had during a previous occasion, and when it turned out not to be on the menu that evening, Chris saved her the dilemma and ordered for her again.
Eventually Paris took the envelope and set it in the center of the able, leaning it against the small vase of flowers—within eyesight but not close enough for her to constantly fiddle with.
“Do you think Olivia looked happy?” she wondered. “I couldn't tell. She didn't look much different than usual. But that's a good sign, isn't it? If she was upset we would have noticed something off. But she wasn't. She was just... normal. She didn't even react when she handed me the envelope. She just tucked it into my purse.
“I'm sorry, this was a stupid idea,” she rambled. “I don't know what I was thinking. I probably wasn't thinking at all.”
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 7:50 am
It wasn't as though he wasn't nervous too. After everything they had been through, he wanted this as much as she did, even if he was not nearly as enthusiastic. Then again, he rarely showed much enthusiasm anyway. Chris let out a small breath in exasperation as Paris continued to fidget. He let her ramble for a bit, trying to let her figure out everything on her own, before finally reaching across the table and taking hold of one of her hands.
"Paris," he said to get her attention, giving her hand a squeeze. "Relax... Breathe... It'll be okay," he promised. He let out another sign and shook his head. "I know you want this more than anything... I do too, Paris... If it didn't take this time, we'll just try again..."
Still, he knew that was not good enough for her. When Paris wanted something, she wanted it with all her heart and nothing could change her mind about that. He didn't want her to change her mind. He just wanted her to calm down a little otherwise it would stress her too much.
"Let's see what it says. We can find out and then we can discuss what we want to do next, okay?" he suggested, slowly reaching with his free hand towards the envelope, but slow enough for Paris to stop him like he expected her to.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:16 am
The reassurances did very little to help. Paris let Chris take her hand, and she made a minor effort to calm herself, but the stress continued to eat away at her. Prevented from fiddling with the envelope, she switched to fiddling with Chris's hand and fingers instead.
She grew quiet and pensive. She nodded to show she was listening, but she wasn't as accepting as she made herself appear. Of course they could try again. They could try as many times as they needed to. But Paris didn't want to have to. She was anxious and impatient. She couldn't bear any more disappointment, not after what had happened to them over New Year's.
Paris let Chris take the envelop. She made no effort to retrieve it herself. Instead, she brought her hands up to cover her face. She took a deep breath through her fingers, but it didn't help to settle her at all.
“Just do it,” she said in a weak voice. “Hurry and get it over with. I can't wait anymore.”
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 6:15 am
He knew it was rough for Paris. Everything they’d gone through, the dismal future she’d seen. He knew she just wanted things to go right for them. Chris drew in a breath to help settle his own nerves, his fingers tracing the outline of the envelope until they found the opening.
Carefully, he drew out the page that was folded up inside and read it to himself. He made no movement or reaction for a few moments, before slowly lowering the page to the table.
“We’re going to be parents…” he let out the breath, his voice soft and almost shaky, overwhelmed by what that meant for the both of them, and the new child that would soon be in their lives. “It came back positive.”
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 7:24 am
Paris hid behind her hands while she waited for Chris to open the envelope. The wait itself was excruciating. She almost ripped he envelope out of his hands and did it herself, but she didn't have the courage. She didn't know what she'd do if the results weren't what she wanted.
But they were.
“Oh my God,” she said from between her fingers, spreading them apart enough to be able to see through them. “Shut up, you're lying.”
Of course she believed him, but she'd psyched herself out so much it was hard not to over-react.
She jumped up from her seat and rounded the table to take the paper and look at her it herself.
“Shut up,” she said again. “Shut up, shut up, shut up. You're kidding!”
But it said it right there, plain as day.
“Oh my God!” Paris almost shouted. Then she collapsed into Chris's lap and kissed him.
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 7:31 am
Chris was expecting her to be excited but the way she jumped out of her seat and collapsed against him was a relief. Paris always felt so strongly about everything. If she was sad, it was obvious she was sad. If she was happy, she was likely to shout it from the rooftops, as she was pretty much doing right now.
He laughed and caught her, kissing her back, and ignoring the rest of the patrons who turned to eye them for their rambunctious display. He couldn’t bring himself to care about what the others thought of them. They were already looked down upon for being “too young” and a whole number of other things, but this was their life and while they might not be as prepared for it as they should be, they would find a way to make it work.
There was too much that they could possibly lose by waiting, and he knew Paris felt the same — they couldn’t allow their fates to be chosen for them. They would take their happiness into their own hands.
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