((Timelines shmimelines))
She couldn't remember how she had gotten back to her room, her back pressed against the door as she eased it shut, her palms splayed along the cheap wood. Her breath was hitching in a chest that felt too tight and constricting, her head spinning not just with the information she had received, but with sheer overwhelming dizziness that was sure to knock her off her feet at any moment.
Eyes closed, and down turned lips pressed tightly together, while she told herself to count,
dangit, count and
breathe. Rorric was, and had been, cooing quietly in her head, attempting to be a soothing comfort in a moment where she felt like she could not possibly now, or ever be, comforted again.
Still, her chest rose slowly, steadily, as a deep inhale was taken, and fell just the same as a breath hissed slowly out of her mouth. Again and again this action was to be repeated, until she felt safe enough to step away from the door, safe to open large, amber eyes. Safe to take off her boots and move further into the room, to step closer to her bed, to let her gaze drop down to what lay on top.
Perhaps it would have actually been better never to have opened her eyes at all.
Her breath caught again, this time as a small squeaking sound tore free from her throat, her hand clenching and going up beneath her chin as she bit down on her bottom lip, hard.
His blanket. He had left it for her. A single, hot tear trailed down her cheek as she continued to stare down at it, seemingly unnoticed as she made no attempt to wipe it away. Slowly, fingers uncurled from beneath her chin. Slowly, two hands reached to gather up the Captain America emblazoned fabric, clutching it tight between trembling fingers that then brought it up to press tight against her chest.
A choked sob escaped her, and quite soon after, more tears began to fall. Bringing the blanket up further provided her something with which to bury her face into, to cry into as her entire body began to shake, and with legs that no longer seemed capable of holding her upward, she collapsed to the floor, and continued to cry, her body leaning towards the side of the bed, her arms clutching at the blanket that still smelled just like him, her roommate, her Captain, her
friend.
At some point, with her nose running, her eyes swollen and red, her throat raw, and her multitoned blue hair in complete disarray, she wrapped the blanket around herself as tight as she could.
Try as she might, she could not recreate his comforting embrace.
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