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 Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 1:47 pm
It had taken a while to call her, not only because he didn't know what to say, but because, of all days, that would be the one where everything went wrong. If he hadn't smashed his phone, he wouldn't have been in that position, and while he had wanted to go out in the early morning, it wasn't until later in the afternoon that he even managed to get a new phone.
And then he paced for hours trying to figure out what he was supposed to say.
He knew he had to call her, but…
His aunt wound up in the hospital. Not a big deal. Not something he particularly even cared about; he hardly knew the woman, and for what it was worth it seemed like she fell, broke a hip, and was in surgery.
She was fine, but his mother was frantic.
Jett hadn't grown up with a sibling to be concerned about, and his aunt had moved to the other side of the country when he was so young that he knew her only from photographs.
But his mother was worried, so he wound up going to see her, helping her pack for an impromptu flight.
To California.
Jett almost considered hitching a ride just to be in the state, but if he couldn’t even manage a phone call, how was he supposed to talk to her in person?
It was late in EST, so it probably wasn't so late in California. If she was there, yet…
He paced for a while longer and then sucked up all his trepidation. He didn't give himself the opportunity to back out; he selected her name from his list of contacts.
He pressed the button.
The trill of the phone dialing hummed loudly from his hand.
'Calling Raven,' had never sounded so intimidating before.
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 6:50 pm
He had really been right. Those fifteen hundred count Egyptian Cotton sheets had been wonderful…She had ended up sleeping in until sometime past noon…and then they had gone shopping for a bigger mirror and got sidetracked looking for new clothes…and...
And finally ended up back in that wonderful bed…with the wonderful sheets.
There was an alarm set for the next morning, however…they did have to get to California…so they would be leaving in just a few short hours…
It seemed like Raven had hardly even closed her eyes when the alarm was going off? Or…wait.
She sat up, looking around for a moment before grabbing the phone, seeing both Jett’s picture and his name flashing across the screen. Her face went from relaxed to hard and kind of upset. Well. Maybe he had just blacked out a day and thought tonight was still last night…or maybe he was a complete massive d**k and just didn’t know what to do in this situation.
The blonde sighed heavily and walked out of the bedroom, going to sit on Zack’s couch, waiting until the very last second to answer the phone.
“Yes? What is it, Jett?” Her voice was far from warm and welcoming.
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 6:58 pm
Jett was holding his breath as the phone rang; he hadn't been prepared to talk, but he was even less prepared for a voicemail and—
And then she picked up.
He was filled with a vile combination of relief and concern and was still pacing.
"Raven," he started, and words eluded him.
What a ******** surprise.
But he wasn't going to give in and just fumble around. It wasn't like him not to take control of the situation. Or, at least, his emotions.
"…You left so suddenly. I thought you were going to stay with Rhona. She's still at the house." And he didn't know what to do with her. "…I was hoping we might have been able to talk again after everyone calmed down, but you."
…Were gone.
He was quiet for a second and stopped walking so he could focus on just her. Even if it was only her voice.
"What are we doing?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:06 pm
Raven was kind of pleased to hear the note of confusion in his voice…and to hear him stumble around for words…it felt like she had power over him…and to be honest, that was a nice thing to feel. “What are we doing, Jett? I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m on the way to California. Sorry to dump…wait, who the ******** is Rhona?”
She thought for a minute, then shrugged. “I’m guessing that’s the name that Acubens picked…anyway. Yeah. I’m on the road to California. I’m…I mean I was sleeping when you called. What is it you called for anyway, Jett? Did you decide to come with me, because I kind of sort of figured that call would have happened last night. If you weren’t aware. I left yesterday. Over twenty four hours ago…so, sorry. You missed your mark.”
She sounded angry, and just felt hurt. How dare he…how dare he call and all but blame her for leaving Rhona, or whatever she was calling herself. How dare he just do that.
She should hang up on him right now, that was seriously what she should do.
But for some reason, the blonde just didn’t. Or couldn’t, she wasn’t sure which.
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:17 pm
Jett was silent over the phone. He felt a muscle in his jaw twitch and he grit his teeth, but a few seconds later and he was back to his calm breathing. In, out. Keep it normal. Keep it cool.
Don't say something you regret.
"So what, then?" he asked, in a forcedly calm voice. "You move to California, we pretend like we don't know each other? Just drop everything, keep living lives like we never had anything, or what?"
Because, he couldn't do that. He couldn't just quit like that. He had too many emotions, and right now most of them weren't good. He was having a hard time excepting the end, but she was already across the country? She was already…gone?
…Maybe she just needed space. Maybe California wouldn't be perfect.
Maybe he needed to stop ******** lying to himself and making up stories to make himself feel better.
She wanted out.
And she got out.
And now he just needed to find out what that meant for the future.
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:21 pm
Raven swallowed. She really had been…hoping he would beg to come with her. It wouldn’t be very hard…she…
Who the ******** was she kidding? He didn’t want to go with her. Not even to try it out. He didn’t care. He didn’t…
He was too stupid to do anything right half of the time, and too stubborn the other half. She wanted to say something snarky. She wanted to just say something she would regret…and keep up the fuel of anger…She wanted to hate him, to be happy for leaving, to get the ******** out, and stay the ******** out, and not have to worry about the ring on her finger…or Chloe or anything.
Unfortunately, the words that managed to escape her tired, emotional mind were anything but angry. They were anything but hate filled. They were a quiet, almost broken sounding thing.
“…I can still come and get you, Jett…we can still go together if you wanted…”
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:41 pm
Her words soothed the anger in him, and made him feel guilty, but…
"I can't," he said, and sounded tired. He didn't want to argue. He didn't want to leave Destiny City. He had humored the thought—really tried to think about how he could make it work.
But he didn't want to leave.
"I wouldn't be happy, Raven. I would start to resent you. I have a life here, everything I have is here. Except for you. I don’t want to move. If I forced myself, I'd be upset once I got there. And then I'd get upset at you, and I don't want that. I don't want to be mad at you, but you're treating this like I chose some city over you. And yet," the anger was close to slipping into his voice; he felt it in his chest.
The slow, smoldering burn of an anger he'd been smothering since she first threatened to leave.
The anger he'd kept buried for so long that now the embers had been stoked, it flushed from his core to the tips of his fingers. Even his hair felt like it was heated.
But his voice stayed almost perfectly cool.
"You chose the same thing. You chose a place over me. So I'm not alone in this decision. We both made a choice. So it is what it is. You won't change your mind, and I haven't either. So if the only way you're going to be happy is to leave," his breath hitched, but he pushed on, "Is to cut me out of your life, you need to let me know. Because otherwise I'm going to keep calling you. I'm going to keep checking in, and trying to make sure you're all right. Because whether you believe it or not, I care about you. And I'm not happy that you're leaving, but I'm not going to let myself hate you because I gave up everything else for you. That's not what love is, and I think you know that. Maybe now's just not the right time. Maybe we've both just got things we need to work out. Maybe in five years something will click and someone will change their mind. I don't know. But I do know that no matter how far away you are, I'm still going to love you. And I'm still going to do everything I can to keep you safe. But I don't want you leaving thinking you were anything less than the most important person in my life."
…And as quickly as his mouth had opened, it closed. His lips pursed tightly and he held his breath; he'd said his piece, and while he should have been relieved, he just felt anxious.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:03 pm
Raven’s lip trembled and she felt like her heart was shattering for about the thousandth time. She couldn’t speak, her mouth opened and closed about five times before she cleared he throat, trying to bring forth some…something. Anything.
“I…I see. Okay. Well. I. Okay.”
She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t going to let him hear her cry…but damn she wanted to…she wanted him to hold her and make everything better…she just…wanted to be home…
He was home. But…but this city wasn’t…this city was hell…It just wasn’t fair.
“Well…I’m sorry. I suppose…yeah. I don’t know…I don’t have anything good to say I guess…I’m just…” The blonde swallowed hard and closed her eyes, rubbing at them with her free hand. “I’m sorry…I love you…and I’m sorry…I…I should go now though…I have to be up early….”
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:27 pm
Jett meant to try and stay calm, but that time, his emotions won out. "If you love me, then don't just leave like that. Come talk to me, in person, and we'll figure something out. I don't believe that this is the best choice for both of us, so don't just pack up and leave."
Now, he sounded exasperated, and he felt guilty. He didn't mean to make her cry; the last thing he wanted to do was make her more upset. He wanted her to come home so he could hold her, so they could sit down together and just talk things out.
He didn't want to think they were so far gone that words didn't mean anything.
"I'm sorry," he said after a second. "--If you love me," he attempted again, trying to sound calmer, "Then don't move across the country. Leaving isn't the answer. Or maybe it is--maybe that's your answer. It's not mine. But I'm out of ideas, Raven. I don't want to let you go."
Desperately, he added, "I don't want you to leave. The thought of not seeing you again...I don't like it. I don't know what to do. I'm losing my mind." He reached a hand up to rub at his eyes. "...There has to be something else, Raven. Something that isn't fighting. I don't want you to cry any more. So what can we do? I'm willing to try, all right? I just...I don't think I can leave all of this behind. I don't think I'd be happy if I had to leave everything, here. Is there anything we can do where you're happy and I'm happy? Any compromise we can make?"
...Wasn't there anything?
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:46 pm
“Jett…I have a job that I have to start…I’m…I’m going to be a model…and…and I have an apartment waiting for me…I’m going to be making so much money out here…you wouldn’t even have to work…I can take care of you…The apartment is going to be amazing…it’s so big and it’s it’s beautiful. At least the pictures I’ve seen of it are…”
Raven shook her head, finally letting a sob escape. “We can fly your mom out here once a month…and s**t, Jett…you can mirrorwalk. You can go see her whenever…”
It wasn’t fair…it was so stupid. All of this was so, so stupid…She hated herself. She hated him. Right now she just hated everyone.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 5:25 pm
Wouldn't have to work? Jett might have reeled at the thought; he was self-sustaining and wasn't used to being taken care of; he liked working. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if he didn't have obligation.
But he couldn't argue with Raven, not after that sob. He bit his lip hard enough that the taste of blood filled his mouth, and he felt bad. "Raven," he started weakly.
He just wanted to hold her, stroke her hair. Tell her everything was going to be okay.
Make everything okay.
...But she was right. He could Mirrorwalk back whenever he wanted.
"...My mother can't know. She wouldn't understand," he began. "...I'm not going to tell her about the Dark Mirror Court, or anything more than what she absolutely needs to know. I wouldn't want her to think she was out here in a city, all by herself. I couldn't do that to her. You know how awful she'd feel if she thought I was leaving her, too?"
...But that wasn't the topic he wanted to be covering, now. The cogs were moving in his head, and he was still filled with dread and unhappiness. But...if there was an alternative that they could work with...
He shifted positions. "Raven, don't cry. But you know how much money I put down on this place. And you know I'm about two months away from getting promoted at the Shop, don't you? Jacoby's been talking about it for weeks. He's finally setting a date for his retirement and he wants me to take his position and keep things running. I promised him."
And Jett couldn't go back on a promise.
...And it was what he wanted. It was no secret that he loved that antique shop; he wanted to see it thrive, and he had such ideas.
But that wasn't the topic he wanted to talk about, either.
"...So you keep your job, and I'll keep mine," he finally said after a moment. "We just don't tell anyone there's a place in California. Make it a home away from home. You get what you need done, you have a safe place out of Destiny City. And I'll hold up the fort here. And we can still have dinner every night. Still spend time together. I mean, if we're working, we wouldn't see each other for those hours, anyway. Unless I came to meet you for lunch. Unless they'd let me meet you for lunch. I don't know."
He looked around their bedroom. "...I guess we could figure out something to do here. Maybe just rent it out. Or let Rhona borrow it. Or someone else, if they need to get on their feet. I don't know. Am I making sense, is it worth it to keep going or am I just clinging to some impossibility?"
He still sounded desperate, clinging to a hope he didn't know existed.
Jett wasn't good with goodbyes, though.
He would try almost anything to make sure this didn't turn into one.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 6:48 pm
Raven was quiet, trying to stifle her sniffles and sobs, but it wasn’t easy. Her nose was running, and she was sure she looked like s**t…honestly she was quite glad that Jett wasn’t here to see her. Because…nobody needed to see this mess right now. Nobody.
The plan he proposed…it made sense…it really did…but it still meant he was going to be staying here…and most likely still doing things with the court…and that was stupid and…
But it was nice…it was a nice thought…and she could curl up with him at night…and they could visit the ocean…and lay on the beach…and hold hands…
And Chloe…Oh her precious little baby could really come into the world…
She drew in a sharp breath and swallowed hard. “…Okay. Yeah, okay…let me get there and get settled…and after I start my job…I’ll come get you, Jett. And we can figure it out from there…I’ll call you every day though…and you call me, you big nutcase…I love you.” This was going to be okay. This was going to be fine.
Everything was going to be fine…
Maybe.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 7:08 pm
Jett had tensed. He had prepared for a no, prepared for more tears or yelling or arguing.
The fact that she said yes hit him so hard that he didn't know how to respond, and he was struck with silence until his lungs burned and he remembered that he needed to breathe. But the tiniest twitch of a smile appeared on his face and he relaxed. "Okay," he said; he felt absolutely exhausted and had to sit on the bed.
Maybe it was from all the pacing, or maybe it was his body finally acknowledging that he was so emotionally spent, but every part of him felt heavy.
"I can do that," he promised, and for as tired as he sounded, he was already sounding warmer. "You just be careful. Don't pick up any hitchhikers. Take care of yourself. I love you. I'm…excited for you. California's a place with a lot of opportunities. I'm not surprised someone snatched you up for modeling. You'll be famous in no time, I'm sure. We'll figure everything out when you're settled. I know it's late now, I'm sorry if I woke you up. I'll call again tomorrow, all right? —And you, call me if anything happens. I'll probably be worrying about you until I hear from you."
…But this was a start in the right direction.
Everything was going to be fine.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 7:17 pm
“Hell yeah you better not be surprised…I’m a sexy beast, and you know it…” Raven let out a weak, slightly hysterical sounding laugh and slumped against Zack’s couch, gripping her phone tightly. “You better call me tomorrow…I’ll call if anything happens…and I’ll text you too…Oh Jett…you’re going to love it in California…I’m so excited…and Chloe…”
She trailed off and laughed again, feeling so damn relieved…and so damn tired. “Jett I want her in our lives so much…So much…We’ll have to make that happen…though it might put a damper on my modeling days…I’ll just have to get all the money I can right off the bat…”
The blonde sighed and shook her head, yawning and wiping away the tears that remained on her cheeks. “…I love you, my prince…sleep well…um…you’ll…we’ll be beside one another soon…so…don’t forget me, love…”
It sounded so sappy…and it was really…the first time she had bothered to acknowledge that he was a prince of their court…the first time she had really accepted it as a thing…
Maybe all parts of that awful future hadn’t been so awful after all…
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 7:50 pm
Hope blossomed in Jett's chest in a way he didn't think he'd feel—especially not after that low he'd just have. But Chloe had been nothing more than a vague hope—a dream, and now…
Raven wanted her.
And he wanted her. He wanted both of them; his perfect family.
…But when had he gotten so damn soft?
"I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to, Raven. And don't think that I do. But you sound exhausted, and as much as I love you, I don't want to keep you up. You sleep well too, love. I'll probably text and call so much, you'll be sick of me, but I'll be more than happy to pick this up tomorrow. You get your rest, Raven. I love you."
…And he did. And for the first time in a long time, he felt relieved; like there wasn't a pit of rocks in his stomach. The weight of the world didn't feel so crushing, and even if she wasn't there to hold, he had a smile on his face. A tired smile, but he had her love, and her pillow, and that was all he needed.
For tonight.
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