Welcome to Gaia! ::

Same-sex unions have been legal here for a while (although they've only been called "marriage" somewhat recently, within the past couple years). I live in a big city, so the overall attitude tends to be pretty progressive and accepting. There's always going to be the odd douchebag here and there, but that's the case anywhere. In my experience, when people (at least strangers) are bothered by it, they tend to express it in the form of disapproving glances rather than outright hostility. I've only had one experience where anyone was outright violent, and that was in the city where I grew up, which I think in general is actually more generally accepting than where I live now.

Mind you, I'm not a big fan of PDA in general. Hand-holding, arm-linking, pecks, etc. are fine, but much more than that comes off as being a little rude and immature in my eyes, at least in most public settings. I don't care what sex or gender you or your partner are, if your hand is down their trousers, please go somewhere a little more private.

I'm in England and although it's legal to show affection, I'm not really into showing affection in public too much. The occasional kiss and hug is fine, but being cute and attached to each other, that makes me uncomfortable.

Besides, it may be legal, but people still give you those stares and grumbles.

Are there any places (in the western world, at least) where it's explicitly illegal for same-sex couples to show affection in public? There are certainly places where it wouldn't go over too well with the general public, but it's not as if you could actually get arrested for it...right? I guess homosexuality is still an arrest-able offence in some Arab countries (in some of those places, I think it may still be a capital crime), but surely that's not the case in North America and western Europe (and Australia, New Zealand, and whatever other heavily westernised places I'm not mentioning).

Well, I wouldn't exactly consider Russia as being part of the heavily westernised world. They kind of are sometimes, but it seems like there's always some kind of crazy maniac in a position of political power keeping the country isolated from the rest of European society. But you're certainly correct that Russia is decidedly not gay-friendly.

That's part of what so weird about it: it happened in a pretty progressive metropolitan city. Ten years ago, but still, it was an unusual occurrence in that area. Just goes to show that douchebags live everywhere. I also don't think it was even the direct result of any explicit PDA...I guess I can't say for sure since I don't really remember, but it would have been out-of-character for my partner and I, and he's never mentioned it in his re-telling of the event. It was probably just apparent that we were together.

Sometimes I feel like it should have affected me more. You hear stories about people who were drugged and date-raped (who know they were raped but don't have any memory of the event itself) being really distressed over the fact that they can't remember this super traumatic event, but...I dunno, I've always been pretty content not remembering the weird s**t people have done to me while I've been unconscious, haha. In fact, I'd almost consider it a courtesy for someone to drug me (or barring that, bash me over the head) if they're going to do harm to me. xd

...okay, I'm going to stop that train of thought before I end up saying something really offensive. Point is, people react to trauma differently, and once the physical injuries from the attack healed, I can't say that it continued to affect my life much at all. I'm sure I was terrified when it was actually happening, but as far as my memory goes, I had a fun night out with my partner, blacked out, and woke up in hospital, which makes it not so very different from a run-of-the-mill New Year's Eve for me. lol

EDIT: I wouldn't say you're being a coward for not engaging in PDA. It's unfortunate that it's even an issue for queer people to begin with, but it's still a reality that expressing public affection to a same-sex partner can incite some people to violence. Being aware of that doesn't make you a coward, it just makes you safety-conscious. And as you said, it wouldn't just be your own safety you'd be potentially jeopardising, but that of your partner as well. Besides, excessive PDA is a little rude in my book, regardless of who's doing it.

My area is cool with it but I personally don't like any kind of PDA from anyone past the point of basic hand holding, hugs, short cheek kiss or whatever...I'm just bothered by social snogging in general xD