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Eco-friendly Shapeshifter
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 Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 11:20 am
Milieu didn't know when she started mentally calling the operation to spring the rebels from the brig "Busthind Operaiton Alpha". It had a nice ring to it, like a spy novel. A spy novel... Totally spies, about to be just that. Milieu blinked from her daze and sighed. Vremea's house was always comforting, mostly because it smelled just like Vremea. As the teal troll stood in the spare room, starting at the moobeast suit of black with teal (that Athene had made), she wondered if this would be the last time coming here. Would they make it out alive?
They had escaped death once in the last twenty-four hours. Now the group was preparing to traipse right back into the lion's den. Though this time, it was a whole new world. They were going to a jail, the jail. And they wanted to break out all the teen and rebel kids. It sounded so ridiculous. How could they? Three girls (not counting Kei who had been firmly told by Vremea she was staying here). Three teen girls who, while strong and intelligent, where just three girls.
If Odette was here maybe she would have felt a little better. Vremea, Odette, and herself had battled tooth and nail during the OHC debacle. Yet Odette was gone. Who knew even if she was alive or dead? The weight of her anxiety threw Milieu into one of the chairs. Her body crumpled forward like a deflated balloon. And Vremea... Milieu could remember the sight of Vremea laying on the ground, her blood leeching into the ground. It had been horrific. What if Vrem had died? Tears stung at her eyes.
Despite growing confident, Milieu couldn't find it in herself to speak her own heart. They were going to another battle, with the stakes even higher. If Mili didn't say something now... Would there ever be another chance? Was now the right time, anyway? Was there ever a right time? Huffing, Milieu stood again and began to undress. She'd wear the suit below her clothes that way when they got to busthind she could easily undress.
----
Knocking gently on Vremea's door, Milieu entered. Her chest hurt, and her eyes stung. Whatever happened, happened.
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 8:36 am
It had taken just a little time for Vremea to get herself ready to go.
Okay, "little time" was an understatement. She kept on postponing the inevitable while they gathered their things to leave, taking the clothes languidly, steps slow and hesitant with each movement she made, constantly thinking of the looming tower of doom. Vremea and Milieu hadn't exactly planned it out— It was something completely out of the normal...
How could they plan to break into a royalist institute they'd never been in all on their own?
It was like she was begging to kill herself, to kill her closest friends... And it didn't help that her anxiety was picking up more and more each time she looked at her mask. Milieu kept assuring her it would all be alright before they arrived to her hive, patting her shoulder comfortingly, but Vremea knew deep in her nutrition sack that SOMETHING would go wrong. Then again, things could already be GOING wrong... Vremea was probably just over thinking things... Really, she didn't know what to do in this situation.Sshe felt like an idiot, she had started this and pulled them into it... She needed to fix this... Maybe if she had been there too— maybe if she hadn't gone to Vrykol, she would've been able to help them... Maybe she could've prevented any of this happening to them. She could've been there. She could helped them. She could've done something. She was so worthless... So worth—
The door was suddenly knocked, making Vremea jump, dropping the mask, startled. She hurriedly tucked it in the bag, eyes wide, breathing in hurried breaths. If it was Keionx... She didn't know what happened. Little Kei's lusus and brother were captured... They... They were... Vremea bit back the tears, body shaking slightly. She missed Odette. She really, really missed Odette. She barely even noticed Milieu entering when the tears spilt from her eyes and she started sobbing yellow tears of fright, hands sliding to both sides of her head, body trembling in fright, digging her nails into her scalp as she gave a small whine. She couldn't. She COULDN'T. She was weak, she was disgusting, just a low blood, a disgusting, pathetic low blood with nothing to live for but to serve the queen the queen the queen the girl who'd demanded her to hand over her pendant to be used because Vremea was just a tool that's what she was that's what she is that's what she'd always be and nothing would change nothing WILL change because I'm not anything but weak WEAK WEAK weak WEAK weak WEAK WEAK WEAK—
Her thoughts continued, stumbling back to her wall and sliding to the floor, eyes blind from tears. "I-I can't..." She wasn't anything but a smudge on ground of this horrible society. That's how it was, and how it'll always be. It didn't matter what she did, so what was the point of trying? Why... Why was she trying, just to fail? She didn't even have Odette... She... Odette...
Why aren't you here...?
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Eco-friendly Shapeshifter
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Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 1:54 pm
Vremea always seemed so... Strong. A pillar, untouchable by anything around her. During OHC she had battled so effortlessly, so flawlessly. When they were alone, Vremea's intelligent voice always put things in order. She was magic, and it came to no surprise that the yellowblood had latent mutant abilities. Esepcially healing, which seemed to be a forte of Vremea's. Healing... Caring. Certainly, the teen became upset or sad, but Milieu had never seen the yellowblood in such a state of sadness and panic. Crumpled in the corner like a discarded grub snack wrapper, fright blazing brightly in her gorgeous eyes. Milieu stared in open shock and felt as if she was witnessing something she really shouldn't be seeing. Something too intimate something that... That her moirail should only be seeing. Odette was gone. Dead? Alive? Milieu felt tears well into her own eyes. Odette... Oh Vremea. To lose someone so close to her and then to be tasked with such a dangerous burden. Whatever force had halted her steps released them abruptly. The mute troll rushed forward and fell to her knees before the yellowblood. Vremea might be older, but she was still a troll. Even though the beautiful librarian had fallen from the pedestal, Milieu still thought of her as a goddess. Except... Except now, Milieu felt a little more at ease with the burdening thoughts that consumed her daily. Leaning back, Milieu gazed directly into Vremea's eyes. If only she could SPEAK! Why, why, why didn't she have the words to say? All Milieu had was physical action. Cupping the older teen's face, Milieu leaned in on impulse and pressed their lips together in a chaste, sweet, simple kiss.
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Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:33 am
Someone was near her. She had only realized when their gazes were staring directly at each other, but Vremea couldn't focus, her eyes were blurry from tears and she could see a large, grey and black blob in her face. Her body hurt, chest ached, and the first thing she felt when she saw them was slight relief-- she wasn't alone. Whoever this was, they were there, she was-- she'd be fine... She...
Abruptly, Vremea felt her face cupped and held. In any other situation, Vremea would've ran away, but she was in too bad of a position to do so. She felt the hand pull her closer, and as tears fell from her eyes, felt a warm softness touch her own.
The kiss didn't even finish. Vremea's walls were all down, feeling nothing but the kiss, but she forced herself out of her daze, eyes wide. She instinctively shoved her away roughly, eyes darting around nervously, not registering who it was until after the deed was done, eyes widening. No. No way. It was Milieu. Oh no. No, no, she was disappointing her, her little Milieu, the girl she saw grow into the teenager she was now— mature, beautiful, calm and nice. No, no, Milieu was the little one she had to take care of, she couldn't disappoint her, she couldn't leave her, she was messing everything up... It was her fault, definitely her fault... She needed to right this wrong.
Vremea's body shook, hands reaching out for Milieu as she whispered apologies, still seeing her as that little girl in the library she had enjoyed to speak with so much, so much, she wanted to be her friend, her friend, her... Friend. But she couldn't if she didn't do this, she knew it, she was breaking the group, she was messing it up. She kissed Milieu, soft, shivering lips touching the tealbloods, weak and delicate, so easily breakable. She was a porcelain doll in these few seconds, and whatever happened... She didn't know. Vremea was so lost, so lost, she just didn't want to lose any of her closest friends...
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Eco-friendly Shapeshifter
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Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2015 9:05 pm
The second kiss didn't last long. It barely even brushed Milieu's lips.
After having been shoved, the tealblood suddenly realized many, many painful truths. Whatever feelings she held for Vremea... Were her own. Certainly they had blushed and flirted a little near one another, but it was nothing. There was nothing there. Nothing, but the feelings she held. Vremea, her goddess, didn't want her and Milieu realized sadly, didn't need her. Odette was the troll she needed.
It had been such a childish idea. In the back of her mind, in an icly detached voice, Milieu reminded herself that in times of shock it was not wise to propose quadrant shifts. Most trolls were not about to handle such movements.
All of this, it was funny in a sad way, Milieu thought. Matchmaker, matchmaker, your pairing fell through. The wind in your sails, they blew and blew. But, Matchmaker, Matchmaker, didn't you know? She would not be your beau. New tears started to trace lines down Mili's cheeks. Pathetic. Unable to speak her emotions... If she had, maybe then... Maybe then...
Vremea moved in to kiss, but Milieu... Had had enough. She didn't shove the teen away, but turned her head and pulled the yellowblood tightly into her arms to hold her. Mili watched a world she had built crumble before her eyes, and numbly accepted that it was her own fault. It didn't stop her from caring for Vremea, but she understood at that moment that she would never occupy anything official in the yellowblood's life.
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Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2015 11:19 am
Vremea's eyes opened when her lips felt nothing but air, and the yellowblood was pulled into the tealbloods arms, enjoying her comfort and soft hold. Vremea tried to struggle in protest, but eventually she calmed down, burying her face into her shoulder and curling into her. Milieu was so amazing... She was that type of troll you could depend on, always. It hurt to refuse her... But the yellowblood did not like her in that way. Her feelings... They felt more like her emotions toward Odette. Was... Was this how Minist felt? No, Minist didn't cry. Minist barely bat an eyelash. Fueled by newfound anger, the yellowblood changed this anger into sadness, sitting up better and rubbing her messed up makeup. She opened her mouth to speak, but really, all that could be said was said. She still felt an deep connection between them... One she did not want to break.
"Milieu... Mili, I'm so sorry..." She whispered, closing her eyes and letting out a shaky breath. She didn't want to hurt her. She didn't want to say "we can still be friends"— Every single time a troll said that in one of the rom coms she read, they left. For good. And Milieu was something precious to her. Vremea didn't want to leave her, nor did she want Milieu to leave her. It hurt. It hurt so much to think of one of her best friends to leave her. The Lolita felt a tear slide down her cheek at the thought. But what could she do?! I don't know how to fix this...
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Eco-friendly Shapeshifter
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Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2015 11:44 pm
Oh, oh those sorries. They slashed at what little control was left in Milieu. It ripped deep down, all the way to the teal bood's core. She was sorry? For what?! For not feeling something for someone so, so... Defective? Broken. A mess. Owlmom's silent lessons bubbled down from below. You are at a severe disadvantage. The world is not kind, little one. So, you must learn to make yourself kind. To make yourself needed. As a matchmaker, as a go between, you will be in high demand. Milieu hunched forward, tears streaming down her face as her shoulders shook roughly. She felt so wanted, so loved, near Vremea, but it... God, who was she fooling? It was so one-sided and pointless.
Milieu gasped softly, needing air for her burning lungs that protested the sobbing cries. Leaning back, Milieu smeared her makeup across her face and silently laughed, rubbing the mess onto her shirt. Shaking her head, she wiped away Vremea's tears carefully and put on the bravest smile she could muster at the time. Reaching out, she shaped her hands into an L, or half of the diamond. Certainly, she wasn't Vremea's Moirail, but she was still her friend.
Or am I? How much am I disillusioned? How much am I needed? How much does she care for me? Or Odette? Or Athene?.
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 11:41 am
As Milieu cried, the yellowblood's own tears continued, unnoticed, reaching over and grabbing her close friend's hand tightly in her own, holding it close to her pump biscuit, not wanting to let go. When Mili pulled away, Vremea was so ready to see her run, but she hadn't. She... Wiped away her own and Vremea's tears, leading Vremea to keep crying while she looked directly at her best friend's eyes. When Milieu lifted her half of the diamond, Vrem instantly, unquestionably, made the other half, pressing it against Mili's half and rubbing her eyes, sniffing and still shaking. She let her hand fall and reached out for the tealblood, pulling her into her arms and giving her a soft, tender, loving kiss on her nose, pressing their foreheads together before pulling away and giving her an earnest and weak smile.
Vremea wished she could've helped. But she... She couldn't force herself to pity some one. She respected Milieu so much, everything she did was so... Thought out. When she did something it was with purpose and understanding. She was sweet and friendly, someone... Someone she enjoyed to be around immensely. "Do y-you..." Vremea stuttered weakly, clearing her throat before continuing— "Do you know how amazing you are?" She was still holding the matchmaker close and smiled softly through her slow tears. "How... How strong?" she murmured, squeezing both her hands and watching her expression. "You're incredible, Milieu. Never, ever forget it." Her voice was soft and informal, uncaring about how professional she was in front of a close friend. "You deserve better than me." She murmured, eyes lowering softly. She wouldn't appreciate Milieu for what she was worth...
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Eco-friendly Shapeshifter
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Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2015 1:00 am
With a head rested against Vremea's chest, Milieu felt her heart twist again at the lolita's words. She kept her face passive and eyes down on the ground, letting this final moment of physical closeness seal the remains of pity in her heart. Amazing? Strong? She wasn't strong. She was fragile and a burden on those nearest her. How was that amazing? It was becoming painfully obvious that she was unneeded. Especially those final words. You deserve better than me. Ha. If the matchmaker had been in a better emotional and mental state, perhaps she could decipher the self-derision held within that simple sentence. In fact, it sounded now like a declaration. I don't need you. You should not be here, or by me.
The only thing I am incredible at is deluding myself into believe I am anything to anyone. I'm incredibly dense. Incredibly weak. I am not meant to be pitied or hated. I exist to serve a purpose. Taking a deep breath, Milieu pulled away finally and smiled at Vremea warmly. They needed to get their act together. Soon they had to help the rebels escape. All those lives stuck in a cell and Milieu took time now to cry and whine about herself. How pathetic am I?
Damn it all why couldn't she just talk?! It was endlessly frustrating at times. There was no board near her, which really she should have thought through if she was going to mak - wait. Tapping her finger against the floor, she beat out a message to Vremea.
|| ...- .-. . -- . .- / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / - .... . / ... - .-. --- -. --. / .- -. -.. / .- -- .- --.. .. -. --. / --- -. . .-.-.- / .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- .-.-.- / - .... .. ... / .-- .- ... / .- / - . .-. .-. .. -... .-.. . / .. -.. . .- / - --- / .--. ..- ... .... / --- -. / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .... . -. / - .... .. -. --. ... / .- .-. . / .- ... / - .... . -.-- / .- .-. . .-.-.- / .. / -. . . -.. / -.-- --- ..- / - --- / -... . / ... - .-. --- -. --. / ..-. --- .-. / -- . --..-- / .-- .. - .... / -- . --..-- / ... --- / .-- . / -.-. .- -. / -... .-. . .- -.- / --- ..- - / - .... . / --- - .... . .-. ... .-.-.- / .- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / - --- / - .... .- - ..--.. / .. .----. -- / ... -.-. .- .-. . -.. --..-- / -... ..- - / .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / .-- .. - .... / -- . / - .... .. -. --. ... / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -... . / .- .-.. .-.. / .-. .. --. .... - .-.-.- ||
quite uneventful MORSE CODE CRASHES INTO THE BATTLE
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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2015 8:17 am
Watching the tealblood pull away, Vremea gave her an equally warm smile, tinted with a small amount of sadness. She honestly hadn't meant to ruin any feelings, and... Milieu suddenly started tapping. Oh, no, Vremea almost missed the first part of it! She listened attentively, eyes closed as she processed the data little by little. By the time she was finished, the yellowblood reached over, pressing a hand to Milieu's cheek and leaning in, pressing their foreheads together softly. "It— it wasn't a terrible idea. You helped me with my anxiety, and I pushed you away. For that, I am sorry. You are so strong, Milieu. I beg of you to never forget that." With a small sniff, she rubbed her nose and nodded toward her last sentence, releasing a soft sigh to know she wasn't the only one feeling frightened. "Having you here makes me feel better as well." She murmured, quickly grabbing Milieu's hands and helping the other up. Her voice was weak and fragile, but before long, the yellowblood cleared her throat and rubbed her eyes, a surge of newfound confidence building in her. They had to stay strong. They had to break them out. They couldn't back down now...
Vremea definitely wanted to speak to Milieu properly afterwards, but as she said herself, they could not dwell on it for longer. Looking to her mask, she touched it softly before looking directly at one of her closest friends. "We should go." She said softly but firmly, "We need to save them."
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