The door clicked shut.
Al sat on the pile of furs that he called his bed absolutely dumbfounded. He wasn't sure what had just happened. What was Noah even trying to say? He reached up to run his fingers through his hair, ruffling the mess. Various thoughts and emotions swirling just beneath his anxious touch.
He could feel his phone buzzing a mile a minute. He knew it had to be Rep and possibly others ridiculing him. The thing was, he didn't really care right now what anyone had to say about it. All that mattered was...
He opened his phone and fired off a text, or two, or several. It went back and forth, no questions being answered and no clarity being found. It started vaguely and ended just as vaguely. He gave his phone a baffled stare on the final note. He had no idea what to make of what had transpired.
All he knew for certain was; he was tired, so tired, and no matter what he wished - everything was stuck on repeat.
He curled against the warm comfort of polar bear and turned to face plant into a pillow or two too many. After a deep ragged sigh, he allowed the hurt to show. No one could see now, he had his wall.
He could finally be sad when he felt like it.
______________________________
Nightmares, nothing but panic driven nightmares all night and late into the next day. He'd wake up, realize where he was, then forced himself back to sleep time and time again. Falling nightmares where he hit the bed, nightmares where all he wanted to do was put on his underwear but for whatever reason couldn't, nightmares where his teeth all fell out, all manner of nightmare haunted him. By the time he finally gave up, he felt frazzled and frayed to the point of snapping. Just one more razor's strum against his cord and he was done.
He stared at the ceiling instead. The thoughts continued. There was something specific that kept bothering him. Something that he just couldn't put his finger on...
______________________________
He finally managed a decent amount of sleep, his pained wounds had been licked and hidden as best he could manage. He shoved a pile of rubbish out of his way and sulked over to his desk. He could finally think more clearly. Inching over every last detail. He tried to hold himself distant this time, an endeavor that did not last long. He soon felt himself heaving as he reached the memory of baring his soul and then the wave of relief at what he requested; Noah's happiness. Their happiness; even if not together.
It all went strange from there.
The sudden outburst, the anger that Noah was implying he was protecting -
...
...
....wait.
Al's eyes unfocused as he began to thoughtlessly doodle on a scrap piece of paper.
It wasn't something Noah said, it was something he didn't.
Al went on and on about the importance of Noah's happiness and yet -
There was a new question Al had to ask and it wasn't about what Noah meant with his outburst. It was about what he avoided when he said it. The subject was changed and Al needed to know why.
______________________________
He was a mess as he stormed down the halls; reeking of BO, misery, and possibly a hint of death. His hair an oily mess and his clothes wrinkled from being slept in repeatedly. He made a straight pre-determined line for Noah's door.
He didn't ******** care anymore.
Being idle is what ******** s**t up in the first place. He was done. It was now or never. He needed to know. He deserved to know. He didn't even ******** care if Noah was in or not or if he was even alone. None of that mattered. He would wait, gladly, for a few minutes to avoid another year of what-ifs. He paced in front of the door like a caged tiger; anxious, hungry, unpredictable, and a little unhinged.
A loud banging invaded the quiet of the room.
