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 Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 4:47 pm
Raven was sitting on the couch, Civilian Acubens was in the shower and the blonde was still trying to wrap her mind around all that had just happened, because…well. It was a lot. And it was kind of dumb. And now she had sent emails to both her new job and the apartment complex where she was going to be living. What a bother. There went her life. Her plans…her everything…and for what? Again, for a court that she didn’t believe in? Someone who had literally broken her heart by rejecting her court when she did believe in it? What was the point of it all?
Perhaps the only good thing was she had included that she was still more than willing to start the modeling job…and to have the apartment…just to push the date back a month or so…so…
Hopefully it all worked out. Because…California just still sounded so god damn perfect.
She looked up as she heard the apartment lock click. Well. It looked like Jett was home. Wonderful. Honestly…she wondered if he had even realized that it was past the thirty first. She wondered a lot of things and kept her mouth shut tight. He hadn’t done his part, and she was well within her bounds to leave…of course, now she just wanted him to say that Civcubans could stay here. Because…well.
She was going to stay here regardless of what Jett said, so. That much was moot.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 5:05 pm
Jett spent a lot of time thinking. Planning. Trying little things. He didn't know what it was that was going to make Raven stay, but he was determined to do everything—except move. Which meant little trinkets, pretty jewelry, attempts at romantic dinners (though, he wasn't the best at making a dinner romantic). Today wasn't really much different; the moment the year shifted, there was a rock in his stomach. Raven hadn't said anything about leaving, and it was a few days past the first, so he had no choice but to assume that she wanted to stick around.
Or maybe he was only fooling himself.
He spent a lot of time lost in these thoughts, and it was a dull, numb walk through them. Every time he held his breath when he opened the apartment door, and every time he saw her there, he breathed a sigh of relief.
"Evening," he greeted, flashing a quick smile before he kicked off his shoes. He had a box that he set down on the counter when he walked in and kissed her on the forehead. There wasn't anything out or cooking, so tonight was going to be takeout; he didn't have it in him to cook anything. "I wanted to be home an hour ago but traffic was ridiculous. I should have ordered something so that it was here at the house for us when we got home, but. Couldn’t decide if pizza or Chinese sounded better. You have a taste for anything?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 5:28 pm
She did have a taste for quite a few things…the grapes and milk that the commercials always talked about. The kind from California. The warm sun and sandy beaches. The chance to model. The chance to become as famous as she deserved to be. The chance to put on a bikini and slather herself in sunscreen and just…just chill.
But not the Destiny City sort of chill. A chill without a million feet of snow…
Raven flashed a little smile. “Well, Jett. I think you should maybe get both. We have a guest. And we’re going to have her for quite a while, I’m assuming. She’s a new DMC…and you know. Since she came from the White Moon, she’s pretty much. A blank slate. No home, no name and no family. So she’s going to stay here.”
The smile twitched with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. “…And for as long as she stays here, I suppose I’ll be staying here as well. Congrats. I’m staying, through no effort of yours.”
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 5:39 pm
Jett's jaw set, and there was a look of hurt that flashed across his face. But he wasn't one to show weakness, so a calculated look of resolve replaced it quickly. He didn't care about the guest so much, but the accusations of nothing irked him.
He wasn't just sitting around jacking off; everything he did these past few months was with her in mind. Mostly.
There was the Court, which he had been knowingly neglecting, but life had been stagnant, regardless. Perhaps it wasn't the most polite thing to do, but he ignored her latter comment; if there was a guest, it wouldn't do that her first impression of them should be in a fight. If Raven had invited the girl, maybe she wouldn't be concerned that this was some ploy of his, some attempt to sleep around. "All right, I'll get both," he said simply, and began toying with his phone as he began to compile an order. He knew what he would eat, what Raven would eat. But this unknown outlier…could pick from the selection. There would be enough of it. He would order plenty; good first impressions and all.
"What's her name? Or, what was it. The senshi name, I mean. Civilian too, I guess. If you know it."
Not that he suspected there was anything really important, but he knew far too few White Moon defectors, and there was a morbid curiosity when it came to those who swapped sides. As if knowing what they gave up in their civilian life to come to the Dark Mirror Court would give him some greater understanding of the world, of the war.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 5:47 pm
“Honey, I told you she doesn’t have a name right now, a civilian one, at least. Jeeze.” She tried to lighten her tone, she really did. She didn’t like fighting. But she sure did it a lot…and she was always the one to start them, almost always at least. “Her uh. Powered name though. Acubens. One that I had been trying to bring over for ages a few years ago…well, I wasn’t good enough, but clearly something was.”
It hit her like a baseball bat to the head then and she sighed. Not good enough to leave the court for, and not good enough to join the court for. What a ******** low blow. It just meant…she wasn’t good enough for anything then. Well. Hello unhappy feelings. Raven shrugged and rubbed at her eyes. “Whatever. It’s not like. I even really care anymore anyway. I’m glad she’s here. Blah Blah. Dark Mirror Court Rah Rah.”
Her stomach felt like it was suddenly full of snakes and she sighed. “…You know, maybe I’m not really hungry after all, sorry…”
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 5:56 pm
"I meant the one before," he said slowly; he was watching her face. When she began speaking, he began studying her; his fingers had stopped sliding over the screen of his phone a moment ago. "Before she turned."
He didn't bother asking if she was all right; he wasn't going to waste their time. For a moment, he lingered in the kitchen, and though he felt a mixture of happiness and confusion at the idea that Acubens—a senshi he knew, was here, in his house. An Order Senshi—someone who by all means should have been an enemy—was here, somewhere, in his house. It made his blood run cold to think that this might have been an extremely important meeting; he didn't know who she was, but if she recognized him from before—if this was all some ploy to get their identities?
…Then they would figure something out. It made him sick to think about, but he walked to Raven and took a seat next to her.
He reached for her hand, planting his over it. "You're good at everything you do, Raven. So it took a few years—she's here, at your house. You obviously mean a lot to her. You mean a lot to me, too. I don't want you to forget that. I can't just stand there and let you beat yourself up. You're too hard on yourself. She's incredibly lucky to have you looking after her. You two should take a spa day or something, relax. Don't think about the Court, just have some girl time. I don't remember the last time you talked about going out and doing anything with any friends."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 6:01 pm
Raven just gave a soft laugh. “Yeah. Good enough to do what? Love? But what if love isn’t enough. She claimed to love me. You claim to love me, but neither of you would change for me. You won’t leave, and she wouldn’t join. How am I supposed to figure that I’m worth anything, because I tell you what. I feel pretty damn worthless right about now. Here I am. Nobody will run away with me for anything. But they all love me, oh boy oh boy.”
Her hand trembled under his and she shook her head. “I went out the other day to look at baby clothes with some girl I met online. That has to count for something, right? We were friendly. Woo hoo. Friends. Friendly. I have a social life. Honest. Somewhere. Maybe.”
She was on the verge of tears and didn’t know where all of these emotions were coming from, but she knew one thing for sure…she hated them. Hated each and every one of them. Her emotions, that was.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 6:16 pm
Jett was quiet as he watched her. Talking about her shopping with baby clothes stirred a spark of hope in him; he thought of the future he had dreamed about, so often with her. Amidst those nightmares. But he didn't know if she knew. If she'd ever seen the same things he had, would she think that he didn't love her? That they weren't going to have a future together?
He stroked his thumb across the back of her hand quietly. "It's not the same," he said, finally. "I think you spent so much time tearing yourself apart that you've forgotten to be happy. Forgotten that the only thing in this town isn't just the Court, or the War. I don't know why you'd think you were worthless, and I don't know why you value running away as being the epitome of love."
He didn't ask why Acubens was professing her love to Raven; he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. He had questions, and a strain of jealousy and anger was boiling in him, but he smothered it with a cool calm. There was a time to get angry, and it was not when your fiancé was crying in front of you because she didn't think you loved her enough.
"You're worth something. Everything. And I never know what to say when you get in these moods because you just don't see how much I care about you. It isn't leaving or staying that defines these emotions. Those are secondary things—choices. I've never loved anyone like I love you, so…"
His voice trailed off and then picked back up with a faint uncertainty, "Doesn't that count for something?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 6:30 pm
Raven shook her head. “Maybe it isn’t so much that I’ve forgotten to be happy…and more that I’ve forgotten how to be happy…Jett, I don’t think I can stay in this town and be happy…I wouldn’t want to raise a family with you here, or with anyone here for that matter. This town is the center of a shithole and filled with little shits that are going to explode and just get…s**t everywhere…I don’t want to live with that. I just don’t want to. Jett, I don’t know why you can’t understand that. I can’t imagine why you’d want to raise our daughter here…it’s all. Chaos. Everything is chaos and I hate it. I want sunshine. I want happiness. And this town can’t provide it…you may think it has something to it other than the war and the court, but that is all I can see, all I can feel when I walk around.”
She drew in a breath and shuddered. “I don’t want my little girl growing up here and me being scared out of my wits that she won’t come home from school one day. It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to her. Chloe is too precious for that, Jett. She just is.”
The girl sighed. “It means everything to me…but you just don’t ever seem to understand where I’m coming from. I’m leaving in February. The sixteenth. The deadline has been extended. Please come with me. I love you.”
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 6:40 pm
'Raise our daughter'.
But Jett had never brought her up; his eyes immediately shot to Raven's face and he searched, brows narrowed. "You knew?" he asked, though it couldn't have been more than rhetorical; he didn't stay quiet for long. Raven even knew her name.
"I love you," he prefaced slowly, "But I…"
He held his breath and his mind raced, and there wasn't some immediate revelation that changed his mind, even if he willed it. It was with a heavy sorrow that he finished, "Can't."
There was silence for a second; he couldn’t tell if his heart was racing or if it had stopped. "…For just that reason, Raven. Right nw, the heart of this war is Destiny City. It's not just my mother, not just my job, not just my entire life being here. It's that right now, we have a chance to make a difference. If we move, you know what's going to happen, don't you? Running away now might give us a few years, but if you saw what I saw—if you saw Chloe," he had to even his breath, "Then you know what future she'd be born into. You know what the Negaverse would become. If something doesn't happen to change that, now, then it doesn't matter where we are. We won't have a future. And not just us, together. I mean, there's a point in time where the Negaverse is going to have enough energy. Where they decide they don't need us anymore. And it doesn't matter how far away we are from them, they will kill us. And her."
He was gripping her hand tightly, and though he fought to keep his voice calm, he hadn't spoken about this with someone before. It was a thought that nagged in the back of his mind, which plagued him when he was alone and with nothing to distract him. But now it was here, in the forefront of his thoughts.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 6:47 pm
Raven felt like she was drowning. There was no other way to describe this feeling. Someone had filled her lungs up with water…or play-doh or sand or…or just…grief. It gripped her heart and twisted up every one of her insides. “Oh.”
She thought. She really had thought…thought and hoped and wished…and prayed…and. “…Oh…”
Her hand slid out from under his and she nodded. “Okay then. No big deal…Yeah. Well. I’m leaving. So…that solves that issue. They can’t kill her if she never exists…so yeah. Good. Good. No…no need for any of this. Um…Yeah. Acubens should be out soon. So uh. Maybe…I should just…Or you should…”
The room was spinning. The world was ending. Oh god. It was just all…ending.
Everything. Just…everything.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 6:57 pm
Jett's eyes narrowed; it hadn't been easy for him to say. "We'll figure something out," he insisted. "I'm not going to let that future come to pass. We have the advantage of knowing now, we have a chance to make something of it. To do something. But if we run away—how do we stop them if we run away, Raven?" he asked, and for as collected as Jett liked to come across, there was an undeniable desperation in his voice.
He wanted to argue that weren't they killing her if they were forcing her not to exist? But if he wanted to change the future to stop the Negaverse…then that didn't guarantee Chloe would have ever existed in the first place.
But it didn't matter, because when he dreamed at night, he still heard her voice. Still saw her smile. And for a little girl that didn't exist—and might never exist—she meant more to him than he knew how to explain.
For a child that wasn't his, when Raven spoke those words it was like an icy grip clutched at his heart and squeezed.
"How do I keep you safe if I do nothing to stop them?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 7:38 pm
Acubens was mulling names over in her head while she showered. She'd done a little looking into meanings, feeling like that should have something to do what what she called herself. Nothing had really stuck out to her. Ryuji meant dragon, but she didn't feel very dragon-y nor was she Japanese. Maybe something Scottish. She'd been through pages and pages of names from all over the world, surely one would have stuck out to her by now. Granted, this was also research done at the library before it closed, so it wasn't like it was exhaustive research. Just baby names websites but still. She should have come across something. Literally anything.
For now she would just have to go by her powered name. And only talk to people in the court. She needed to hurry and find a name she can give to people. Maybe she'd do that tonight. Sneak back to her apartment and grab her laptop -- and probably more things like clothes and stuff.
For now she was in borrowed sweats with soaking hair. padding down the hallways with nothing but her skin and bones. Not even a name. Hell, the skin wasn't even really her's. It was just sort of... there... she hadn't used to have freckles on the backs of her arms. They reminded her of...
No. Don't think about him. Don't think about him wondering where you are. Don't think about him assuming you dead. Don't. Think about it.
Acubens sucked in a deep breath of air, pushing back tears that always threatened to rise when she thought about her brother. She was here now. In Raven's apartment... and she was talking to someone. The boyfriend, presumably. And then she heard her name. Well... her powered name. Maybe it wouldn't be best to barge in right now. But where would she go? Hang out in the bathroom? They might hear her retreating. She stood there, trying not to listen but failing to keep herself from doing so.
Of course Acubens hadn't changed for Lesath. She had changed for Acubens. What else could Lesath have expected of her? clearly the two of them had different working definitions of love, because to Acubens it wasn't about changing people, it was about working with the differences that existed. And what was this about a daughter? The negaverse was killing people now? What s**t storm had she walked into?
"Okay so, hold on," she burst out, shoving the door out of her way with more venom than she had intended. "So from what I've heard, there is a future that you both have seen that includes all of us dying. I was under the impression that this was a safe place, that the Dark Mirror Court was stable and secure." She didn't bother to make the effort to try and be cordial. Suddenly everything that Acubens knew to be true was all wrong. Could she ever get a break?
"First thing, I think I deserve and explanation about this kid that may or may not exist."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 7:46 pm
Raven just shook her head. “Jett, Just think about it. What’s the point of trying to stop anything? If they take over, they take over? Wouldn’t it be better to survive? To live somewhere else, outside of this ******** danger zone? If they don’t know about the court somewhere else…” She paused, frowning as she heard another voice.
Acubens was clearly done with her shower and was…what? She sighed. “It’s all just dreams, Acu. I don’t know if it is real or not. But clearly they’re dreams that Jett has had too, so. Whatever. The kid is part of the dreams too, I suppose. No big deal. It’s something that’s not going to happen, clearly.”
She refused to look at either of them. It took too much effort. “…Anyway, Jett, Acubens. Acubens, this is Jett. Also know as Remarque. The end. Now you’re introduced. I’m going to bed.” The blonde stood up and shook her head, trying to keep the tears away. It wasn't worth it. Feeling just wasn't worth it.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 8:35 pm
The civilian that emerged was unfamiliar to Jett, though that was to be expected; he shouldn't have expected to recognize her. But her words, that passion—he burned him to think that anyone would demand such from him. From Raven.
But it was Acubens, and he knew her. Did she not know him? Did she not know that he was Remarque, or did she think that the Negaverse had somehow dissipated as a threat in the time since he had last seen her? He wanted to be happy that she had finally joined; he knew that the girl had been struggling with it for a time, but now…
Now was perhaps not the best moment for him to be having a conversation with anyone when all he could think about was his conversation with Raven. He had things he wanted to say, thoughts he wanted to share, but that moment seemed…lost. Raven was getting up, leaving; if Acubens didn't know who he was, she did now. "Raven," he tried, and wished he knew the words. He looked to Acubens for just a second, and then glanced back to his fiancé's retreating form. "It doesn't have to be a dream. But I have to make sure it doesn't turn into a nightmare. You have to understand that."
She had to.
On the Surrounding, hadn't she seen it? Before they were dating, before any of this, there had been the salamanders. He could have run from danger, could have left her there. But he ran to her, regardless of the consequences.
And now, wasn't it the same?
He'd head straight into danger if it meant saving her.
…Even if it meant losing her, too.
But he would rather know she was far away, alive and well then afraid, or dead. And if the Negaverse was destroyed—or if they found some way to change their goals, to alter what they were doing…to stop them before they turned into those monsters? Then he wouldn’t have been so bound to them. Then he could leave. They could move to California, or any other place on the map.
But they couldn’t do that with the Negaverse growing in power. Someone had to stop them.
For their future—for everyone's future. For what should have been Chloe's future.
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