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 Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 5:31 pm
"The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and the winner will move on to the next round of the Sanguine Invitational! Introducing first..."
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 2:37 pm
A loud bass note vibrated through the air after the Inversions made their first entrance in BBW. It was followed by a quiet keyboard synthesizer in the background, but the bass note always returned after a few moments. The instrumental continued this pattern until a faint drumbeat began to play. Suddenly... WHALE!The sounds of "Sail (WHALE Remix)" - AWOLNATION resonated through the room, the titantron playing a strange video of a cardboard whale singing along to the song. This is how I show my love
I made it in my mind because
Blame it on my ADD, baby
This is how an angel cries
Blame it on my own sick pride
Blame it on my ADD, baby A massive man stepped out onto the stage, complete with a helmet in the shape of a whale. It was The Whale Helmet! He raised one of his oversized arms up in the air and let out a bellowing roar, getting some form of a positive response from the crowd. The Terror of Wales was here! He was at the first show of 2015, making his presence known once again! This could be the biggest return of the night! WHALE!
WHALE!
WHALE!
WHALE!
WHALE!"Making his way to the ring, standing at six feet and three inches and weighing in at a hefty five-hundred-and-three pounds... The Terror of Wales, WHAAAAAAAAALE HELMEEEEEET!"Another booming roar came from within the helmet at the sound of his name, though he didn't let it distract him from the task at hand: getting to the ring. He jogged down the ramp the rest of the way until he got to the apron, then taking his time to get to the steel steps. His lethargic pace carried him up the metal staircase until he was by the ropes, stepping in between them afterwards to get into the ring. Once there, he slapped his chest to produce a resonating thud, followed by a fierce, "ATBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"The music faded away rather quickly, leaving The Terror of Wales waiting for his opponent!
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 6:48 pm
The lights dimmed and a red hue filed the arena, bathing the audience in eerie illumination. The audience began to rumble eagerly anticipating the arrival of Whale Helmet's opponent. Then a familiar voice spoke over the PA, "You thought I was gone. You couldn't have been more wrong." The murmur in the audience grew as voices began to whisper the name. The audience was cut short when a disturbing child's voice began to sing. The song confirmed it with the audience, Blackjack was back. As if he knew the exact moment the fans came to that realization, the former BBW Champion emerged onto the stage. He was flanked by his gorgeous lawyers, Isabella and Lillian. Each woman, dressed in immaculate pant suits, came out wielding huge golden trophies. Blackjack himself carried one trophy on against his shoulder, and another he drug behind him.
He stood at the top of the ramp, setting the four massive trophies in front of him. The smallest trophy stood at 4' and each other trophy was slightly taller than the previous. The figure that topped the trophies appeared to be Blackjack's licensed action figures made by Mattel. They seemed to be taped to the top where a sport figure would be normally. The award plaque at the base of each trophy was covered in tape, and marked over with a sharpie. The wiring was mostly illegible, but the camera could make out two b's, a t, and an i. Blackjack pulled a microphone from his jacket pocket as the music finished.
"What's the problem, aren't you idiots excited to see your true champion return? You'd think at least in California, there'd be enough yuppies that someone would be glad to see me back. But it seems to me this place is filled with the left over burnt out pot heads that would find getting kicked in the balls funny; only because you're too impotent to feel anything at this point."
While he spoke, his legal counsel started wrapping the largest trophy in barb wire. When they finished, Blackjack pulled his coat and hat off, tossing them aside and grabbing an exposed portion of the trophy. He pulled the 5' barb wire wrapped object with him as he hurried to the ring. Blackjack threw the trophy into the ring and slid in under the ropes. When he rose to his feet Blackjack faced off across from Whale Helmet, the trophy lay in the center of the ring. Blackjack looked poised ready to lunge when the bell rang.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:42 pm
Whale Helmet's eyes went wide with shock! Here he thought he'd get someone he could crush easily; instead, he got THE former BBW World Champion!? The one that put the likes of Hiro Shin-Mozas and AJ Warner out of commission?! How was he supposed to compete?!
The massive man looked down at the trophy, then back to his opponent. Blackjack, BBW's most wanted and most hated man. He knew this match had to happen, so instead of running like a sane man would...
... He crouched down and got in his Sumo-stance, ready to go!
Ding-ding!
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:02 pm
Seeing Whale crouch down into a sumo position unsettled Blackjack. For all the destructive force he could unleash upon his massive opponent, his opponent could easily do the same by merit of his mass alone. The bell rang, and Blackjack ran forward in an attempt to reach his improvised weapon. Anticipating Whale Helmet's charge, Blackjack would throw himself down and attempt to trip Whale Helmet with his body. Hopefully Helmet's size wouldn't simply break Blackjack's spine.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm
Much like Blackjack predicted, Whale Helmet heard the bell and went lunging forward! Helmet first, he aimed to collide with his opponent in an attempt to daze him early on; however, he was thwarted by the fact that his opponent suddenly disappeared from sight! Helmet lost his balance as he tripped over Blackjack, causing him to hit the mat with a hard thud, even causing the ring to shake violently on impact!
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:27 pm
His plan worked, the match had just begun and already he'd managed to down the Whale. His accomplishment wasn't without it's sacrifices; his body took a kick when it tripped Whale Helmet. He pushed himself up to his feet and bent to slowly pick up the trophy. Like a shark, Blackjack started circling Whale, deciding where he wanted to strike first.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:30 pm
Here was the biggest downfall in every Whale Helmet match: trying to get up. With audible grunts, the massive competitor began to attempt pushing off of the mat in order to get to his base. From there, he'd try to stand, completely unaware of Blackjack stalking around him!
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:41 pm
Deciding it would be smarter to take his time in the beginning of the match, Blackjack would hold back until Whale had rose fully to his feet. It took a lot of energy to pick up hundreds of pounds, and every bit that Whale Helmet used standing up, was energy he couldn't use crushing Blackjack. Once Whale Helmet got to his feet though, Blackjack would swing heavy end of the barb wire wrapped trophy like a sledge hammer at Whale's lower back.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:50 pm
It took quite a few seconds for Whale Helmet to get back up to his feet, a feat of which still impressed many in the audience. Once he was standing, the feeling metal piercing his fat shot through his body, causing a very loud roar of pain! The mixture of the weight of the trophy and the brutality of the barbed wire sent Whale stumbling at the ropes, nearly collapsing into them as he held his now bleeding lower back!
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 11:00 pm
Blackjack's choice is weapon, while excellent social commentary, was not as sturdy as a traditional weapon. The impact against Whale's flabby back broke the bolts holding the various tiers of the trophy together. The barb wire was the only thing left holding Blackjack's huge trophy together, but it was obvious the trophy was toast. Tossing the weapon aside, Blackjack charged at Whale Helmet and jumped into a drop kick aimed at the beads of blood forming on Whale's back.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 11:08 pm
Whale Helmet had almost no time to recover from the uncalled for attack with the trophy; just when he was about to attempt regaining himself, he felt his opponent deliver a dropkick square against his lower-back, directly where the trophy had struck him! With another wail, Whale tumbled over the ropes and crashed onto the mats outside the ring, causing an arena-wide echo to vibrate the room!
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 11:20 pm
When Blackjack got back to his feet and surveyed the effects of his early onslaught he was struck dumbfounded. The look on Blackjack's face was almost comical as he realized he'd just kicked a quarter ton man out of the ring, and left Blackjack with no way of getting him back in. With the damage done, it was time to throw caution to the wind. Pulling back on the ropes, Blackjack sprung over the top rope in attempt to drop down onto Whale Helmet with an elbow drop.
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 11:26 pm
Unfortunately for Whale Helmet, he was nothing like the legends in this business; almost everyone could prevent an elbow drop like Blackjack's by simply pulling their knees up. The mixture of pain and the weight of his legs were working perfectly in Blackjack's favor, as Whale had no way to get his knees up quick enough! The smaller man crashed down onto his chest, causing a loud gust of wind to leave his lungs!
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 11:39 pm
Landing on Whale's padded body actually took something from the impact when Blackjack landed. Rolling off of his opponent Blackjack got up and moved around the side of the ring. He knelt down, and started pulling chairs out from under the ring. He figured giving Whale enough time to recover was a risk, but he needed the sack of lard to get himself back into the ring. At least this way Blackjack had some more sturdy weapons to use in battering Whale Helmet down. He would pull out half a dozen chairs, throwing all but the last one back in the ring. Despite his insults, the fans were chanting louder at the sight of chairs being introduced to the match.
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