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 Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 9:53 pm
[Backdated to December 20th]
At this point, Nazca wasn't quite sure why he was still roaming around at night, dressed like a reject raver. He wasn't looking for anyone specific, not anymore. His sister was millions of miles away, not just physically, but mentally. No one, not even one of the promised Zodiacs, could help connect him to her. Now, the bulk of his research was done during the day, as he devoured books and trawled websites and talked to experts. It was all helpful, but if there was a key- something that would make Tara realize her problems and seek help for them- he was missing it.
Maybe that was why he still felt compelled to wander the streets at night. As usual, he swung by the lamppost he'd started to think of as his message board, even though there had never been a message there for him. Then he headed towards a nearby park, recalling with some anxiety the terrorist dress parade he'd stumbled across a few months back. Ever since then, despite how calming the place tried to be, he could never quite let his guard down when he was there.
At night, in the cold December air, it was pretty much abandoned. That didn't stop Nazca from looking around as he moved, ready- he hoped- for anything.
And then his head started to hurt.
"Really?" he asked, not quite sure who he was talking to. "It's not enough to fight eldritch forces beyond the understanding of mankind- I have to battle stress headaches too?"
HanaKirei Let me know if anything needs to be changed! <3
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Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 1:37 pm
Amphitrite wasn't entirely sure why she was hanging so close to the same park each night other than the fact that it was close to her house -- maybe because nothing too bad had happened yet, or maybe just because it was familiar to her. Either way, it was becoming something of a habit to wander the paths among the trees, trailing whichever power signatures she happened to catch onto. (She was getting a bit better at that, if anyone was wondering.)
Tonight was a little different. Her eyes were still hot and red, and it was less from being upset and more from sheer frustration. No matter how much she tried to explain herself, it just felt like the noose had been growing tighter all the time. Now after that magical night time journey that had left her with a bloodied arm and burns... it had been a few weeks ago, and she was healing, but this went beyond the physical.
She paused when she heard the source of the other power signature remark on his own kind of pain, a little ways off but still loud enough for her to hear. "I have ibuprofen!" she said without really thinking... then, on second thought, added with a slight groan, "It's in my regular pockets though, sorry." Stupid. Not a whole lot of pockets on this fuku thing -- which wasn't built for cold weather, by the way.
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Posted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 6:40 pm
Nazca blinked. He hadn't really been expecting a response to his rambling, and now that he had one, he wasn't quite sure what to do with it. He hadn't really been looking for company, but ignoring it wasn't really an option, was it?
"That's okay!" he called back, looking around for the speaker. A girl, judging by her voice. "I'll survive. And I appreciate the offer." The mention of pockets made him pat his coat. The good news was that it did have pockets on the inside. The bad news was that they were completely empty. Which made him wonder what the point was.
After stumbling around at random for a couple of minutes, he saw the source of the voice. Probably. There couldn't be that many people walking around at night in such impractical clothes. Just looking at her made Nazca cold, and he shrugged his coat off as he headed towards her. "You must be freezing in that! Do you want to borrow my jacket? It's really warm."
He ignored the fact that they were total strangers, and even the possibility that she could attack him for no reason. He didn't have the best track record with teenagers, unfortunately. But she had called out to him, offering help. It was the least he could do to try and return the favor.
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Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:35 am
Amphitrite wouldn't say she was embarrassed for offering, but it had been a pretty silly thing to do considering. Look at the crazy senshi from behind the trees shouting out about ibuprofen she couldn't possibly fish around for. A+ effort, really.
Then he emerged and offered her coat, and while she smile and part of her desperately longed for the nice snug security of a nice warm coat, she quickly shook her head. "If I take it, then you'll be the cold one, " she insisted as she crossed her arms. "Do you know doesn't help a migraine? Being cold, because then you're cold and your head hurts."
She didn't seem too surprised by his appearance; hey, he felt like Order, looked like Order, and had offered up his coat. Good enough in her book. "Oh, though, wait, " come to think of it, maybe there was something she could do here? "Try pinching this spot, " and she held her hand up, gesturing to the juncture of her pointer finger and her thumb. "Like, as hard as you can. It doesn't make headaches go away, but sometimes it helps."
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Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 6:03 pm
She seemed nice. Apologetic, helpful, not about to punch him in the face. Maybe his first meeting with a senshi- not counting Aquarius, who was a special case- was a fluke. "It's okay, I've still wearing a lot more than you are." Nazca indicated his long sleeves, and the ridiculous pants-plus-chaps combination down below, before shaking the jacket at her one more time. "I get the feeling you didn't choose your costume any more than I did, huh?"
If it was her design, had he just insulted her? Probably. Oops.
Time to change the subject. "God, I hope it's not a migraine," he muttered, trying that whole hand-pinching thing the senshi suggested. "I've never had one before, but I guess there's a first time for everything." A first time for believing in magic. For fighting terrorists. Going to space. Compared to all of that, a migraine was the least interesting thing to happen recently.
He had been suffering from more headaches lately, though. Probably from all the stress. Occupational hazard, he supposed.
"Do you get headaches from all this too?" Nazca asked, pinching himself even tighter. "Or does it come out in a different way for you?" That was a personal question to ask a total stranger. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I'm just still trying to get my bearings, you know?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:27 pm
Amphitrite stared at him for a moment like he had grown a second head. "Did you see my shoes?" she said with a hint of a smile, gesturing widely down to her shell-laced heels. "I couldn't walk in these for days - DAYS - who would choose these for a battle??" She couldn't help laughing at herself, because at least she thought she was funny.
"One time I was running and one of the stupid things just shattered and oh my god... who does design these things anyway? Like some divine cosmic power or what?"
She was doing the thing again, the annoying rambling thing. With a subtle clearing of her throat, she crossed her arms again and shuddered. Stupid winter. Stupid tiny fuku.
When he went on his own tangent though, she chuckled a bit more bitterly, shaking her head as she looked down. "No. Not to be insensitive or anything mister, but... honestly, I'd take headaches over what else this has gotten me. Like, a couple of weeks ago, I was just sitting at home when --"
She stopped short, biting her lip as she looked back at him. "Uh, nevermind. It's kinda a long story. - you know, caffeine sometimes helps headaches too, " she offered more cheerfully instead. "At least I think so - or it makes them worse. I forget which way it goes."
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Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 12:12 am
He hadn't seen the shoes, but when she mentioned them, Nazca obligingly took a look. And grimaced. Because those didn't just look awkward, they looked painful. He would never understand why some women chose to wear high heels, but he couldn't imagine anyone trying to wear those. "I bet. You're making me feel like I got off lucky with the whole glowstick getup. At least I get protection from the elements. And, uh, skinned knees."
Since she wasn't taking the jacket, Nazca swung it back over his shoulders, easy to slide off again in case she changed her mind. The pinching wasn't doing much for his headache, and he was about to say so, but something the senshi said caught his attention. And it wasn't the part about caffeine, even though he could really use a cup of coffee right about then.
"Problems at home, huh? Guess that's pretty standard too. Have you-" He stopped himself before he came out with another probing question. He didn't even know this girl, and her problems were none of his business.
Except if these issues were as standard as they seemed to be, he needed to know. This wasn't the sort of information he could find in a book, and when it came to talking to experts, this was as good as it got. Sure, she was young- younger than Tara, even- but she was probably going through just the sort of thing he was trying to understand. "Would you, uh... would you mind telling me a bit about it? I'm having some trouble too, and I think it would help to hear how other people handle it, if you're willing."
And since talking to a total stranger who was probably twice her age had to be unnerving, he stuck out his hand, which bore nail marks in the web between his thumb and his forefinger. "I'm Nazca, by the way. Nazca of Mercury. Total novice in the field of magical superheroing."
That was meant to be a joke, but it was also absolutely true. Here he was, standing around in the cold, asking for lessons from teenagers. It was a hilarious, sobering experience.
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 7:10 am
Amphitrite would happily commiserate with him on that one - she was more into flats than heels herself, and she sort of had to hit the ground running when the shell heels became a thing. "You definitely got off lucky, " she half-whined, envying his whole ensemble more than a little. "I mean I'm sure it's a nightmare in the summer, but it's seriously cool - and you'd kill at a party, " she teased, laughing to herself again.
Pretty standard too - so he must have problems too? That sort of piqued her interest, partly because she didn't know anyone else well enough to know if they had problems or not. But she didn't go prying right away, it wasn't her place and --
He asked. He wanted to talk. Something in her brightened, just a fraction, and she shuffled in her awkward shoes. "You want to - ? I mean, of course, I'd - I'd love to have someone to talk to, " she admitted, looking down. "If you really don't mind." As a general rule she didn't like letting on that there was a problem, but... she was seriously struggling, honestly. And this guy wasn't so hard to talk to.
Then she cracked a smile, reaching out to take his hand and give it a firm shake. "Sailor Amphitrite, of seashells - sort-of-notice, sort-of-flop in the field of superheroing." It sounded a bit like she was putting herself down, but she was just being honest.
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 7:12 pm
Was this seriously what people wore to parties these days? What did they even do at those kinds of parties?
On second thought, Nazca wasn't sure he wanted to know. But he did file away that tidbit of information for later, just in case he ever needed to blend in with a bunch of party animals, or whoever wore this sort of stuff.
That the girl actually wanted to talk was surprising, after all of the rejection he'd gotten from Aquarius. Different situations, he knew, but even so. He was enthusiastic as he shook her hand, optimistic that this would be the key to... well, something! "Yeah, I'd like that a lot! Here, why don't we sit down?" There was a park bench nearby, and Nazca headed towards it, keeping his pace slow so they could keep talking.
That she called herself a flop, even a sort-of-flop, made him frown. "It can't be that bad. I seem to have some sort of 'Kick Me' sign on my back, and I'm making out alright. So don't be too hard on yourself, okay?"
Was that Tara's problem? That she was too hard on herself? Nazca considered it, then mentally scolded himself. It wasn't fair to this girl- Amphitrite, that was her name- for him to just pump her for information. She had problems of her own, and deserved his undivided attention.
Taking a seat on the bench, he nodded to her. "So, how do you want to do this? Should I ask questions, or do you want to just let it all out? I'm all ears."
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 7:45 pm
When he said it couldn't be that bad, she cracked a wry smile and shook her head. "Man, if you knew the half of it... " Maybe he would soon. Maybe she was offering too much up? - that was part of her problem too, though, she chided herself. Make a decision and stick with it for a change. Be a senshi or don't. Fight or don't. Talk or don't. Just let it go tonight, Natalie.
She didn't have a problem following him, but she shot that bench a skeptical look, and somewhat begrudgingly asked, "I'm probably going to sound like the most annoying girl in any section of space or whatever about now, but is that jacket offer still open?" Her butt was freezing just looking at that thing. "So yeah, anyway! - if you ask me questions, knowing me I'll just start yammering, so go right ahead. Ask whatever you want!" she offered, rather cheerfully in spite of everything.
DivineSaturn Sorry it's short longer next XD
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 8:07 pm
"Of course!" Even though he was getting cold too- maybe sitting down in freezing temperatures wasn't the smartest idea- Nazca whipped the coat off and, with a flourish that he hoped was gallant but probably just looked stupid, held it out to her. Yes, it was cold, but he was a man, and men did not let girls freeze to death.
Coming up with questions wasn't hard at all. It was much more difficult to prioritize them, but that was important, as otherwise he'd go overboard and wind up interrogating the poor girl. "Let's start with the obvious one- what's bothering you? If there's a problem, there's gotta be a solution, so break it down for me, okay?"
Wow, he wasn't totally sucking at this. Maybe there was hope for him yet.
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 8:51 pm
"Thank you so much." She sank gratefully into what warmth the coat provided, sighing with relief. She wished she knew somewhere warmer she could bring them both, but... how many places could two powered people like them actually go to chat? Coffee shop was sort of out of the question.
That was a loaded a** question, and she sat there for a minute, inhaling deeply and trying to come up with a good, solid answer for it. Or at least tried to consolidate everything as neatly as effectively as possible. "Okay, so like... some of this is probably going to make me sound a little crazy, but just try and bear with me even if it sounds really stupid, okay?" she started sheepishly. Disclaimer in place, time to start from the most logical point: the beginning.
"So I became a senshi this summer, and like, I was seriously excited in the beginning. I mean, who wouldn't want to be a superhero? Then there were talking alien cats and when I heard I wouldn't be going at it alone, I don't know. I was really excited that I might make a lot of new friends and defeat the forces of evil and..." Amphitrite shook her head and laughed slightly. "I mean, I went to this one senshi meeting, and there were so many amazing, powerful people there. I was just so happy to be there, and I really thought... I don't know what I really expected, honestly."
"Then here's where it gets sort of crazy, right? I had this weird dream, like sometime this fall, and like... I don't think I was sleeping, " she glanced at him to make sure he wasn't looking at her like an insane person. But either way, she had to keep going. "It was like I lived a life, but it was like a dream type life. Just parts of it were really vivid and... anyway, in my dream life, a youma hurt me really bad. Hospital for months, pure agony, the whole nine years. My back was never the same, at least in the dream, " and she blushed, because how stupid did it really sound when she said it?
"So I didn't want to be Amphitrite anymore. I didn't transform for a really long time. When a youma came and attacked me and my father, I - I stayed myself, because I thought someone else would come. Because I was too scared to do this anymore. He died because I wasn't brave enough to help him." Her voice cracked when she said it, because even if it wasn't REAL, it had felt like it. This was the first time she'd actually gotten to say it all, even if she'd desperately wanted to tell him.
"There was more to the weirdo dream than that, but like... when I came back, I was stupidly scared of what might happen. I thought it might be better if my dad knew the truth about me. Like, if he knew, then there's no way that future I saw could ever happen. I could keep him, and the rest of my family, safe, " and her down turned lips already said how well that much have gone over.
"He was furious. Said he didn't want his baby girl messing around with terrorists. He's never been mad at me -- and never this mad either." She shifted on the bench, drawing her knees up to her chest. "He forbade me from going out. Started dropping me off at school, picking me up. Didn't let me see my friends any more. Tried to catch me going out at night. That kind of thing." She bit her lower lip hard. "I was really upset at first, and I kept trying to talk to him about it. But after awhile, I didn't really want to fight him anymore. I mean, he's my dad, you know?"
"So I didn't transform for months. I did everything he said. Stayed out of trouble. Watched a lot of TV. It really, really sucked, but what was I really gonna do?" She tilted her head back and groaned. "Then earlier in the month, right? I suddenly got whisked away to some weirdo beach with a bunch of other senshi and knights and stuff, and we wound up fighting these youma and this one lady from the negaverse and..."
Her eyes darkened. It was a strange look for someone who tried so hard to smile. "I don't wanna get too into that, but I got hurt. Pretty bad. A youma bit my arm deep, " she pulled down her glove, "And then it burned me before it died. All of a sudden I was back home and bleeding everywhere and... I mean, of course I went to get my dad, because what else was I going to do?"
She tugged the glove back again and groaned again, this time placing her forehead against her knees. "He knew it had to do with the senshi thing, and no matter what I said, he wouldn't believe it wasn't something I could control. He was so mad... he's still so mad... but it wasn't my fault." Now she looked mad, her brows furrowing and shoulders tensing. "Like I would have chosen to go out and get my a** kicked."
Then she slumped, like she was defeated. "But it also proved to me I can't just walk away from this thing, you know? I'm a senshi, and that's not just going to go away. So yeah, I guess now I am choosing to go out and get my a** kicked. I started sneaking out again, but... "
Anger flared up again as she all but spat, "Now my dad's talking therapy. Therapy. Like there's something wrong with me. I love him, I really, really love him, but if he can't just accept me as I am then -- what the hell am I supposed to do then?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 9:37 pm
As she spoke, Nazca took care to nod encouragingly, even when he didn't quite understand what she was talking about. Her answer left him with several new questions, but he didn't want to interrupt until she was finished. And it took her a while, as everything she'd been holding in came pouring out, a tidal wave that threatened to wash him away if he wasn't careful.
How long had it been since she'd felt able to talk to somebody?
It was interesting that they had started around the same time. He could easily relate to her feelings of wonder and confusion, since he was still caught up in them himself. It wasn't that long ago that he'd found himself in space. Space!
The dreams, though, concerned him. Since becoming a knight, he'd had his fair share of nightmares. Most of them were memories or imagined scenarios relating to Tara's disappearance, but there was one that was totally distinct from that theme. An empty city, darkness, a hole in the sky. That one still disturbed him, even though it had been months ago.
But her dreams, of a life that had yet to happen, were entirely different. Nazca couldn't imagine what it would be like to wake up one morning, terrified of events that hadn't really happened, and might never happen, despite clear memories of them. How could anyone deal with that kind of pain, whether it was real or imagined?
An image flashed through his mind: a chair, in front of a computer monitor. Code he couldn't recognize. Feelings of helplessness and determination, intertwined and indistinguishable.
And then it was over, and he found himself blinking to get the strange picture out of his mind. He was there to listen, not to get sidetracked by silly daydreams!
The fear sounded familiar. Not from personal experience- he was on a mission, and couldn't afford to take time off from searching- but from watching Tara. She'd hidden in her room for months even before she disappeared. Maybe this was the same. It was, Nazca thought, a natural reaction to being attacked by monsters, but he seemed to be the only one who felt that way. That was something he'd need to try to explain.
Then she brought up her father, and he began to dread where the story would go. Because if this girl was a Tara analogue, then he definitely played the father role. The role of not understanding, pushing too hard, making things worse. He hissed in sympathy when she showed him her arm, but his mind was in a panic. How could he help, when he was basically the bad guy?
"Okay," he said slowly, once he was sure she'd finished. "That's... a lot. Let's take it one piece at a time, alright? Forget about your dad for a second." Because Nazca couldn't figure out how to tackle that part without admitting his own crimes. He looked Amphitrite in the eye, since he wasn't sure he'd be able to do that later. "What do you want to do? What feels best? If you're going to convince anyone of what you believe in, you need to be really sure of it yourself."
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 9:47 pm
No one. She'd had no one to talk to since the starry eyed days in the beginning, and as far as she knew, Amphitrite was the only one to have these horrible visions of a future that wasn't. It was a relief just to say it all and have someone just willingly listen, and it showed in her shoulders. But an explanation wouldn't solve her problems in itself.
That was what discussions were for. "I don't know what I want, " she said honestly, just relieved he didn't run off thinking she was nuts or a pain. She smiled sheepishly, because of course it was a lot, and it had all just sort of poured out in one big mess. About fit how she felt, honestly. "I feel a bit like I'm getting pushed around. I'm doing this now even if it makes things worse because well... I can't really make a decision unless I figure it out on my own time, you know?"
Amphitrite looked up, slumping against the back of the bench. "I"ve seen someone die for the first time. I've been burned. I've been barricaded. I feel like I've seen a lot of ugly, and I haven't been given a lot of chance to go at my own pace and see the good. I lost a lot of friends at school, and I never really got the chance to make them like this. I just feel... I don't know. I do want to help people. I'm just trying to find my place. Maybe be happy again."
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 10:14 pm
They had both started on this journey around the same time, but it was clear that the road had taken them in two very different directions. Nazca's struggles, his efforts, were wrapped up in mistakes he'd made even before his awakening. He'd been forging a path towards finding Tara, not towards saving the world, because that was what was most important to him. It wasn't a fun path, with teenagers beating up on him, and his sister going through hell, but it seemed to be the easy one in comparison to Amphitrite's experiences.
Apparently, he'd been doing it wrong this whole time. But if her situation was at all typical, did he really want to be doing it right?
"I don't think there's anything wrong with figuring things out as you go." Nazca smiled, hoping he came off as encouraging, rather than smiling at her pain. "And I think it's worth saying that there's nothing wrong with feeling scared or hurt by the things you've had to deal with. That's natural. Heck, if you weren't scared, that might be the time to worry." He paused, thinking about Tara again. "But too much fear isn't good either. If you're overwhelmed by it, to the point that you can't do anything else, it might be a signal that you need to let it out, just like this. That way, there's room for the happiness too. It's not wrong to be happy, even when bad things happen. It's just harder to find things to be happy about."
It sounded so simple. And it was, when Nazca thought about it. It just wasn't easy.
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