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 Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:56 am
Certainly what occurred in Avalon was not a shining moment for Ganymede.
She knew people looked at her differently. She'd not had many encounters with others since the event, but she knew that when she did many of them would no longer look at her the way they used to. Whatever her intentions might have been, that didn't change the fact that her actions had led to the death of a Negaverse Captain. She'd not struck the finishing blow, but she'd done the most to bring that eventuality about.
It sickened her knowing that she was capable of such things. Chris told her it was alright, that it wasn't her fault, that she couldn't be blamed, that she'd only done what she needed to in order to survive, but Ganymede wasn't entirely sure she believed that. Too many people had told her otherwise that day. She no longer knew what she believed.
But it didn't break her. It didn't send her into the depths of despair. She awoke every day resolved to move on. Not forget—she didn't think she could ever do that. But she wasn't going to let it define her.
That wasn't who she was. It never had been and it wasn't going to be now that she'd made one mistake.
So it was that she found herself out on patrol one night toward the end of the year, behaving as if nothing at all had changed between the events in Avalon and now. She ambled through one of her usual haunts—a park—some time after sunset, taking deep breaths of the cold night air and looking around in an attempt to find the source of the order energy signature that tickled the edge of her senses.HanaKirei The start I promised! I hope it's alright to backdate it to a little before New Year's, considering what's about to happen with that event! 8D
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 1:19 pm
Ever since the whole weird teleportation thing in the middle of the night, things had come to a head. Amphitrite felt it; she knew from the moment she saw her father's face when she'd come to him with burns and blood trickling down her arm in the middle of the night. It had been happening for months, ever since she had told him, and... ... and now more than ever, she just didn't know how to feel about anything. About being a senshi and what that meant. About Ganymede and what she had done. Amphitrite could still remember that smile on her face before she'd swung that rock down. She remembered the tears that had come after, too, but... She barely knew Ganymede, Amphitrite knew that. She knew it was stupid. But that first time she'd seen her there at that meeting, glowing and radiating poise and energy, it was sort of everything she'd envisioned from a hero of justice. In her own weird way, Amphitrite sort of looked up to her, even though... it was stupid, really. Let's face it. Ganymede probably remembered her for a face and that was about it. So why should it even matter? She was human too, right? She just didn't even know. All she knew was, she had taken up patrolling when she could at night ever since the incident, in spite of her dad's meltdown. There was no 'getting out' of this. So she wanted to try and give it another shot, maybe figure herself out a little. Amphitrite wasn't surprised to find another power source that night -- seemed to happen a lot around the park -- and she followed it without much question. Sunshine Alouette Totally fine with me, was hoping you'd say that biggrin
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Posted: Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:46 am
When Ganymede saw who the aura she'd been sensing belonged to, she stopped in her tracks, frozen, and considered turning around and fleeing before the other Senshi noticed her there. She didn't know why, except that she felt shame for what she'd done in Avalon, and didn't want to place herself in a situation in which she was judged if she could help it.
Stubbornness kept her there. She was more than one mistake—pivotal as that mistake had been. She'd done much worse. Ganymede remembered Elysion, who she'd stood idly by while her allies were slaughtered around her, overcome by fear, denial, and her longing for a normal life. That was worse, she thought, than subduing and enemy. If she'd not done something this time around, the Negaverse Captain could have killed her or someone else.
She wasn't afraid any longer. She wasn't living in denial. She'd accepted herself for who she was.
She could accept this too.
“Amphitrite...?” Ganymede said.
She was fairly certain she got the Senshi's name right, notoriously bad with names as she often was. Ganymede remembered her from the Black Watch meeting, and later from Avalon. Unfortunately, they'd not been able to speak at length during either occasion.
“You look a little down,” she observed. “Are you okay?”
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 9:27 pm
In spite of herself, a small smile flashed across Amphitrite's face, here and gone in a heartbeat. She did remember her after all. Doing the stupid hero thing again, she chided herself again, reminding herself that she was seriously seventeen and should be light years beyond this kind of attitude.
When Ganymede asked if she was okay, whether Amphitrite should like her or not, she almost crumpled. Because she wasn't, and since she'd come clean with her dad, it didn't feel like he was interested in asking anymore. She knew he still cared, but... he was more worried about keeping her out of danger than seeing if she was okay, because he figured out of danger was okay.
"I, um..." She shuffled her feet slightly, averting her gaze and looking down. No, she wasn't. Maybe, she wasn't sure. She was confused, she was unsure, she was desperately lonely in her own room, please, please just understand and -- but she didn't say any of that.
Her tongue tied itself into a prim bow, and she drew a deep breath. Even if it wasn't for everything that had happened back there, wherever it was -- she still didn't really know what had happened that night -- who was she to sit there and unload on someone she'd met, what, twice? No one deserved that.
"I think the better question is, are you alright?" That seemed the better route to go, and she felt confident in her question, her gaze rising to meet Ganymede's again. There was nothing judgmental or harsh to her tone. It was only fair to give her a chance to speak, no matter how it looked.
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 7:17 am
Ganymede waited patiently for Amphitrite to devise her answer. When it didn't seem as if there would be one, her face took on a look of concern. She wondered if she should pry. It probably wasn't any of her business, but then she thought, if she knew, maybe she could offer advice. And if not that then at least some support.
But Amphitrite diverted the question to her instead, and Ganymede let her do so long enough to answer honestly.
“Yeah, I'm okay,” she said.
And she was. She'd convinced herself she'd only done what she'd had to. The Captain would have killed any one of them if given the chance. Ganymede was fighting to defend, just as she always did. She'd relished in the victory, not in the violence itself. She'd not meant to hit the Captain so hard. Besides, she wasn't the one who ultimately ended the girl's life.
Ganymede shrugged as she continued, “A little annoyed that people seem to think I did it intentionally, but as long as I know what really happened and can live with it, I guess what they think about it doesn't matter. Other people have done much worse over the years.”
The Negaverse, for one. Castor. The Blood Moon Court had captured and tortured agents.
“You can tell me if something's bothering you, you know,” Ganymede added. “If it's about what happened at Avalon, it's fine, I don't mind talking about it. But if it's something else, I don't mind listening.”
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Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 11:15 am
"That's good - that you're okay, I mean."
Without even knowing it, Ganymede had given her half the answer she was looking for - even if she'd opened up a whole other door for Amphitrite to wonder about. She opened her mouth hesitantly, but didn't know how to ask. How do you ask something like that? Especially since she didn't want to --
-- but she did ask, and she could see right through her enough to know something was up. Ganymede wasn't stupid. Amphitrite bit her lip and exhaled a slow sigh, trying to coax herself to relax. "Was that what that place was called? - Avalon?" she asked, finally getting some sort of closure from at least knowing. "I honestly haven't been super active, I mean... I was laying around watching TV and bam, smelly moldy beach with youma and..." She laughed at herself, awkwardly rubbing the arm that had taken the bite.
She bit her lip again, and coaxed herself to continue. "It's not like I don't believe you about... that. I mean, the way you reacted..." She didn't really want to get too far into what had gone down then. "Honestly, I mean it'll sound stupid, but I was sort of pissed at that guy when he kept going off on you. Like it didn't really feel like the time or the place or... I don't know. I didn't like what he said, " and now she was going off on a tangent. Time to bring it back around. "It's just that look you had on your face, I mean when it happened. I just can't forget that look on your face."
Amphitrite glanced at her, almost sheepishly. "It kind of scared me a little, you know? - I just wish I knew what was going on in your head when it happened, if that makes sense. Not like I really have any business asking, I mean, I don't really get - there's been worse things?" Back to her new concern, "Did we do them? - what happened?"
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2015 7:39 am
“What was going on in my head...”
Of course that would be the source of some of Amphitrite's discomfort. Ganymede had expected as much. She was sure there were others, too, who would benefit from an explanation, but of course she didn't know who they all were nor did she particularly feel like tracking theme all down so that she might be able to explain.
But Amphitrite was here now and she was asking the very thing Ganymede had expected, and Ganymede had the opportunity to hopefully lay some of her doubts to rest.
“First, you have to understand that I haven't always been...” she trailed off almost as soon as she began, struggling to find the proper words to explain herself. Finally, she settled with, “confident. It took a long time for be to grow comfortable with what I am. Being a Senshi, I mean. That's probably one of our weakest areas. We have trouble when it comes to looking after our newer allies. Me, I got yelled at and discouraged when I first started out. All because I was scared and didn't know what to do. Not exactly the best introduction. Being shouted at for having a completely human response to the death happening all around you doesn't really help to boost the confidence you need to survive in the war. So I froze, and then I ran.
“It's been... almost four years since I awoke, and I only recently accepted what I am,” Ganymede continued. She never broke eye contact with the other Senshi. “I've been through a whole hellava lot. Elysion. The Surrounding. The ambush a couple of summers ago. Summer camp, most of Bischofite's bullshit, Wolframite's failed attempt to take on the Dark Mirror Senshi, and it's only now that I really feel like I can handle it. I'm not a fighter. I've never really learned how, but I can dust a youma and take on an agent and come out of it alive.
“That's what I was thinking when I did it,” she concluded. “When I picked up that rock, I felt confident that I could win. I was proud of myself for holding my own, for not giving up when more experienced Senshi had the nerve to shout at me for being afraid. The thought of killing her never even crossed my mind. I didn't even mean to hit her that hard, just enough to knock her out. But I guess fate or destiny or whatever had other things in mind.”
Ganymede's shoulders lifted and fell in a quick shrug. “The guy who hit me? He's a hypocrite, acting all high and mighty, going along with his brother's cold-blooded murder and pretending like they're more honorable than I am. That's bullshit. I can't say I'm surprised, though. The brother, Castor, he's always had something against me from the very beginning. There's nothing I can do that'll ever be right in his eyes. I could follow in his footsteps and do everything that he does and I'd still be a failure.”frayedflower I am so sorry this took so long!!! QQ <333333
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 10:55 am
Amphitrite didn't break eye contact either; she just listened, idly worrying her lower lip between her teeth like she often did. A nervous, idle habit. Not that she was nervous now. She was just processing, taking in everything the more experienced senshi had to say. Hearing it from her helped more than Ganymede probably knew. Not only for the fear and all the other feelings that had been stirred up, centered around the instant that rock had smacked with a crack against the officer's head. But also for the feelings that she'd begun to struggle with on her own; a tiny, nagging worm of insecurity that she was trying to battle in her own clumsy way each night she defied her father and snuck back into the park.
"I never would have known that to look at you, " she admitted when Ganymede was done, winding her gloved hands in front of her as she looked down. Maybe because she was a little embarrassed to admit the kind of impression she'd gotten. "When I - when Ash awakened me, I thought being a senshi was like being a superhero. Like, cool, look at me, I'm The Flash and I'm going off to join the Justice League with all my cool superhero friends. Then I saw you at the meeting and it was kind of like 'well s**t, here's Superman!' - I mean, okay, not Superman, maybe Wonder Woman, but you get what I mean, " or she hoped so. "I was really excited to get to know you, even if... I mean, stuff happened, so that didn't really... " Stop dragging your feet. Make a point here Natalie.
"That's kind of why what happened got to me like it did, " she admitted, lifting her head now as she coaxed a smile and idly shrugged her shoulders. "It sounds stupid, I know. I just don't really know a lot, and Avalon - I guess it was kind of a wake-up call. But thank you - I mean, for telling me, " and she meant it. "I understand now. - I mean, at least I understand that, " and she laughed, scratching her temple idly as she sheepishly admitted, "There's a lot more to the senshi thing that I expected. People probably thought I was so silly, bouncing around like that and... " She spared a laugh at her own expense, even if it was short. A lot of things about her were laughable, really.
"But seriously, who do those guys think they are?" And just like that, she changed gears, huffing as she crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. "They think just because they're cute they can go ahead and say whatever the hell they want. There's guys like that at school too - uh, don't tell anyone I said they were cute, " she amended that one real fast, making a face. "Honorable my a**. They're just jealous that you get to be all cool and glowy and that one guy probably molts enough to fill a pillow."
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:18 am
Ganymede's felt herself blush a bit in response to Amphitrite's comparisons. She certainly didn't feel like a superhero herself. There was still a part of her that didn't want to be one, despite her recent acceptance. She just wanted to be a normal girl. Of course, to do that meant she had to fight, otherwise the city would further fall to Chaos and her chances of having a normal life would grow even more slim.
She would have said so if she thought it would make a difference, but she felt a little guilty talking about herself so much when Amphitrite could probably use some reassurances, too.
“It's alright to think of things like that,” she said. “I mean, with all the magical powers and stuff, I guess that's sort of what we are, in a way. Or... maybe that's what we should try to be. Champions of justice or whatever. For a long time there's been this... rift, I guess. Between the Senshi. And the Knights, too, I'm assuming. Some of us would rather be honorable. Some others would rather give the Negaverse a taste of their own medicine. I'm still not sure which is best, to be honest. I have a feeling it might end up being that we should try a little of both.”
She didn't like the thought of being a cold-blooded killer. Not like some of the others. She's never pictured herself that way, and she doubted she had the stomach for it. But when had the honorable way yielded results? Really, when had any of their methods, good or bad, been successful?
Rather than get herself down by continuing those sorts of thoughts, Ganymede focused on Amphitrite again and laughed at the comments about Castor and Pollux.
“I'm sure hearing that would only go to their heads,” she said. “Trust me, they won't hear it from me. Somehow I doubt jealousy's a factor, though. Castor has more power than I ever will. Too bad he wastes it by being a jackass. They all waste it. What good is power if you don't ever use it?”
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:43 pm
A mix of violence and honor, huh? - funny how it sounded more like Batman or something than it had before, but left her feeling more mixed up than ever. No mistake, Batman was clearly one of the best heroes there was, at least when it came to Gotham. But if she was being honest, she was more like a Robin or a Green Lantern or something - definitely not a Guy Gardner, more like a Hal Jordan if she was giving herself some credit. Technically she guessed she probably should have compared herself to Aquaman, but only the one from the old Superfriends cartoon. The guy in the spandex that talks to fish. Not the badass incarnation with a hook for a hand and a cool trident and all the sharks at his beck and call.
This was getting way off-topic. She nodded along, taking in everything Ganymede had to say on the topic and trying to pretend she didn't spiral off into the dangerous world of super heroic comparisons.
She also vaguely recalled, just vaguely, in that moment that she'd known Ganymede in that weird, dark place she'd seen in her dream. The messed up dream that had been the start of all her troubles, some bits more vivid than others. It wasn't anything big, just... she knew she'd like Ganymede there, too. That she'd been someone to talk to. It was funny how it just came to her now. There was no chance she was going to mention it - god, it sounded like a bad pick-up line. Hey, saw you in a ******** up dream of my future, how you doing? Yeah, no.
Still. Maybe... Should she say something about her confusion regarding the whole senshi lifestyle thing? - no, no way. Ganymede was nice enough to talk to her this long, rambling on like that. She didn't want to wreck it by going and making a pain of herself.
"Seriously, " she snorted again indignantly, with no indication of the thoughts rolling around inside her head, in and out like the tide. Then paused, pursing her lips and tilting her head as she echoed a bit dimly, "They all? - there's more winged bozos than that guy? - what even if the deal with that anyway? I mean I get that he's strong or whatever, but why's he get flappy pillow stuff strapped to his back?"
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Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 5:45 am
The look on Ganymede's face darkened somewhat. Her frown grew deep, her posture grew tense, and her voice, when she spoke again, was strained. She didn't care to control the reaction at all. Perhaps her feelings toward the royals weren't well known (as she did not think herself particularly well known), but when the subject came up in conversation, she saw no point in disguising her thoughts and withholding her opinions.
She snorted a response to Amphitrite's questions, unsure herself whether or not to be amused or to let her displeasure get the best of her.
“There are four of them that I know of,” she explained. “Castor, he's the first that I remember, and he's no less of an a*****e now than he was then. He disappeared for a long time. Don't know why he thinks he still has any right to boss anyone around or act all high and mighty. Then there's a girl named Polaris, who's slightly more tolerable, and a Senshi of Rainbows, who I don't know enough at all. Last is Chronos, Princess of the Zodiacs. She doesn't have the flappy pillows, though. More like butterfly wings.”
There was bitterness in Ganymede's voice as she spoke. But then she had enough bad history with at least two of the four known Senshi royals to account for it. Castor notwithstanding, her feelings toward Chronos had not changed a bit since the Surrounding.
“They're royals. Princes and Princesses. They generally like to boss people around, and even if they don't they still act like they're superior to the rest of us, but when s**t goes down they rarely ever show their faces. You'd think if they had the power to make a difference, they'd do something about it. They have strong magic, and they can purify. But as far as I'm concerned all they are is talk. You've seen Castor, so you know what he's like. Chronos cares more about preserving her domain at the Surrounding than she does any of the rest of us, and she's coddled and protected by her Zodiac Senshi. The other two... I don't know. I don't see them around enough to have a good opinion of them.”
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Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 8:37 pm
Somehow, hearing all that wasn't the most encouraging thing in the world. Even if she hadn't thought a whole lot of Castor to begin with, hearing what he was supposed to be and that there were others like him --
"You'd make a better princess, " she said without really thinking. Amphitrite bit her lip like a moment like maybe she should have regretted saying it, but -- it was hard to regret something she didn't think was wrong? Besides, if Ganymede was going to be honest, then -- "I mean, it's true. You obviously care a lot. If I'm putting my life and everything else on the line to do this, " her father's image came to her mind, and she tensed, "I'd like to think the big guns give a damn. Like, that seriously bothers me." She wouldn't have even given it a second thought before that dream, but now? It mattered. "Like the fact that there's royalty we're supposed to be serving or whatever, shouldn't I have seen them sooner? I mean, what the hell, " she grunted, crossing her arms and showing her very obvious distaste.
Then added, almost like an afterthought, "Do I even wanna know what a Surrounding is? - and how come the rainbow princess doesn't get the fairy wings?" Okay, so that was a stupid thing to ask about, but, "Sorry, I just - ugh, there are literally so many things I don't get, " she groaned, dropping her arms again with a sigh. "I probably sound so dumb; I'm sorry." She felt dumb. But she always wound up feeling dumb. That was one thing that hadn't changed too much in the weird future dream.
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Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:39 am
You'd make a better princess.
Ganymede threw her head back and laughed hysterically.
She wasn't even sure what was really so funny about it, except that she hardly fit into the rank and file of the current royalty.
“Somehow I don't think it's that easy,” she said once she'd calmed down, though the laughter remained in her eyes. “I'm not even so sure it's something you can choose to become. I don't know how it happens. I don't know if it's something someone's born to be or if a cat decides you're ready and poof! You've got big wings and some serious magic at your disposal. Considering my experiences with our current royals, I've never really cared to look into it. And you definitely don't have to serve them. I don't. To me, they're just there. No better or worse than any other Senshi.”
Ganymede chuckled a bit more, trying to imagine herself in that position, but it was as difficult for her as imagining herself corrupted. She was almost certain that if it was in the cards for her, it would have happened by now.
“You don't sound dumb, I promise,” she said reassuringly. “The Surrounding is Zodiac territory. I'm... not even really sure how to describe it except that there are a bunch of outposts in space that... make up this thing that's supposed to surround the galaxy or the universe or something and defend against Chaos. I think. I never got much of an explanation. A bunch of civilians ended up getting stuck there at one point, and the Negaverse and the Dark Mirror Senshi staged an attack. This was back when they had an obvious alliance going on, when Ares was still around. Uh... and if you don't know who she is, she was the princess of the Dark Mirror Court, sort of the driving force behind them before she up and left. Now they've got Leto and Remarque to lead them.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2015 6:52 pm
Amphitrite tried to make sure she laughed along with her, just to make sure it was with instead of at. It was probably a little stupid, and Ganymede wasn't the type, but the instinct was there. With this kind of logic, she'd done a lot of laughing lately. She was overdue to develop a thicker skin when it came to that sort of thing, especially since she wasn't perfect. There was a long way for her to go as a senshi, so she might as well learn to roll with it.
"Remind me to start bribing Ash sometime then, just in case, " she joked. Even if she hadn't seen her in months, now. The thought of her made Amphitrite a little sad. She missed her... but she didn't want to go bother her when she was still so... Ash would be so disappointed if she heard how many ways Amphitrite had gotten this whole senshi thing wrong. On top of everything else, she didn't know if she could handle that.
It was sort of funny though, because the more Ganymede described them, these dark mirror people she hadn't come across yet, the more a thoughtful frown came onto the young senshi's face. "So our royalty is no better than us, but these dark mirror guys have a bunch of leaders? - and the negaverse has a leader, right? - so like - are we super disorganized or do we have like, I don't know, a democracy or something?"
Also a stupid question, if you asked her. But, "Was it that model looking guy - " Not a helpful description, half the senshi looked like they strode off a damn runway in her book, "With the vines and stuff, you know, from the Black Watch thing - Thorax or Throbbing or something?" Okay so definitely neither of those were his name and she kind of wished she hadn't said them because once she said them out loud, that took her to a whole new level of stupid, didn't it? "Th-something. Is he like the senshi president or something?"
Sunshine Alouette This is why no one looked for you Amphitrite. #justsaying #worstsenshi
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Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2015 6:51 am
“No, no, the Senshi don't have a leader,” Ganymede said.
And she was grateful for that. She didn't take orders well at all.
“Some people like to think we're disorganized, but I'd rather have my individuality than follow some person I might not agree with. We know how to work together when it matters. There's been plenty of proof of that over the years.
“Thraen, I think his name is?” Ganymede offered, though she didn't sound entirely sure herself. She was better at recognizing faces than she was remembering names. “He's not a leader. Or at least I don't consider him one. He's just the one who happened to pull the Black Watch together. He seems like an okay guy, but to be honest I haven't met anyone who's leader material. At least not in my book.”
Lifting her arms over her head, Ganymede stretched out some of the tension that always seemed to come over her whenever the topic of royalty and leaders were brought up.
“You'll probably hear some people mention the Moon Queen at some point if you haven't already,” she continued. “The Negaverse thinks we're helping her take over the world or something, but that's not true. She doesn't exist anymore anyway. She's just a ghost. Not much of a driving force behind the war at this point.”
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