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 Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 8:03 pm
 A small carousel phony, one that had yet to bloom into an efficient member of adult phony society, sat and gazed out the frosted window of her guardian’s house. The melancholy that hung about her small shoulders was almost tangible as she watched with large doe eyes as some other phonies outside her window played in the snow with their parents, laughing all the while. She heaved a heavy sigh and rested her head against the hooves, her nose pressed softly to the glass. It was strange how deeply depressed such a sight could make such a young phony. And despite her best efforts, she couldn’t help but long for what most other filly’s and colt’s her age had: A mother and a father. A family that loved them. A family that had time to play games with them. A family that took notice of them and nurtured their growth.
Her eyes glossed over and she thought about it. It brought her back to a conversation that she had had with Spica once. The small carousel had come across the lovely mare many times in town and had always admired her kindness. She couldn’t remember just how it was that she got acquainted with her, but she had and many warm conversations followed. In one such conversation Briar had asked a question, a question that she was most than certain she would be scolded for asking: “Why can’t I have a mother and father too?” Reaper would have probably told her that she shouldn’t ask such a stupid question, or something mean like that. Briar had explained to Spica, as simply as she could, that while she loved Valkyrie and Reaper and all the other Carousel phonies, she just didn’t feel like they were really a family. It all felt so strained, as if the very act of looking after her was troublesome. Valkyrie was almost always working and when she wasn’t, she was sleeping and Reaper--Well, Reaper was Reaper. There wasn’t much that needed to be explained about his behaviors. Anyone that knew him, would understand. It had seemed as if the Alicorn had taken pity on her or something of the like because she had offered something that Briar had not expected from such a simple, or what she thought was simple, talk.
Another heavy sigh escaped the little filly and she shifted from her vantage point. She shifted and glanced toward the small sack of her belongings that she had packed up. It was tucked away under her blanket, as if she were trying to hide it. Almost as if she were ashamed of it. Maybe she was. She tried to reason that their wasn’t a reason for her to feel ashamed. It was a very generous offer and it would free up some of Valk’s time to do other things and certainly would make Reaper much more gleeful. But the crushing guilt always returned in full swing. They had cared for her all this time and she was willing to betray them; to turn her back on her own kind.
Brairthorn frowned deeply and breathed out a heavy sigh for the third time.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 8:11 pm
 Valkyrie used her back leg to kick the door behind her closed while she shrugged off her security vest and belt. The day's snow had made the park virtually empty and her boss Prowl had given the unicorn the rest of the afternoon off. Putting her hat on the kitchen table, she saw a little message scribbled out on the fridge from Branch. He was out playing in the snow. Below that was even a messier note scribbled from Reaper. He'd be back eventually. Valk snorted and rolled her eyes. That left her and Briarthorn in the house. A gurgling emitted from her stomach. It was about her lunch time as it was and she rarely got these sorts of opportunities, she decided to make the filly and herself a small meal. "Briar!" she called as she started going through the cabinets and fridge for components to make a nice lunch. "I'm home early! Are you home? Are you hungry? I'm making lunch!"
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 8:24 pm
Briar was startled out of her daze by the sudden slamming of a door. The poor filly jumped six feet out of her skin before she heard the all too familiar sounds of Valkyrie taking off her uniform. She listened in silence, her eyes stared off into the direction of all the commotion, before she got to her own hooves and trudged toward the kitchen. Gingerly she stuck her head inside the doorway, just in case things were being thrown about. The last thing she wanted to do was get hit in the head by a flying frying pan… for the second time in her life.
“I’m here.” She responded in her softest voice as she watched the head of their household rummage through the cabinets in search of some food. Daintily she created circles on the kitchen floor with her front hoof. Valkyrie was so exuberant in all things that she did, and that was something that Briar really admired about her. She was almost always so lively. She couldn’t recall a time when she had ever seen the mare mope. Even when things were hard. Even if they were still hard now. The filly gently shook her head in response to the question that had been asked of her. “No, I’m not very hungry. You go ahead and eat without me.” She gave a strained sort of smile that never touched her eyes and went to slink back to her vantage point by the window, but stopped briefly, almost as if she suddenly remembered her manners. “Thank you though.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 8:37 pm
Valkyrie paused in her foraging, glancing behind her and down. "Not hungry?" The mare wasn't so sure, Briar's tone wasn't it's normal gentle bounce. Frowning, Valk watched as the filly slowly turned and padded back into her room, head hung low, as if the weight of the world where on her saddle and shoulders. She'd noticed Briarthorn getting a bit glum as of late. The coming of the snow seemed to have affected the filly. At first Valk had thought that she was sad because she was still a filly almost a year on in life, maybe all her friends had grown up. Valk had tried to make sure that Briar met more foals in the meanwhile so she'd had a supply of friends, but work had pulled her away from taking the filly to get togethers or on outings and Reaper was..well..Reaper. Dropping down to her hooves, food hunt forgotten, Valkyrie slowly followed Briar into her room, and leaned in the doorway. "Hey, what's wrong little one?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 8:49 pm
She had returned, almost to the exact same position that she had been in before her guardian had returned home. However, she was disheartened to see that the lighthearted family that had been playing outside had disappeared from view. Perhaps they have moved onto a different activity? She could just see it now: All of them sitting down together for a nice hot cup of cocoa or maybe settling down in front of a fire with a book and a warm blanket together. Distraught she settled her head down on her hooves once more and watched as the hoof prints they left behind in the snow slowly began to be swept away by the newly fallen glitter and wind.
With another start, the tawny filly bumped her head against the window and winced hard. That was something to go into the I don’t like that very much list-- Valkyrie always seemed to be able to sneak up on her. No matter how much armor the mare was wearing. Absently she rubbed the spot on her head and she had just smacked and gazed at her guardian with eyes that seemed to burn with guilt. Was it really that obvious? Could she read minds? Briar swallowed hard before she attempted to answer.
“Wr-wrong?” She asked, still rubbing her head. “Nothing’s wrong,” The foal lied, poorly to boot, through her little teeth. She jumped down from her spot at the window and tried her best to nonchalantly sit herself in front of her blankets and the incriminating bag that lay under it. “Why do you ask?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:00 pm
The side of Valkyrie's mouth tipped into a slightly bitter smirk. If a life time of Reaper had taught her nothing else, it taught her to see a lie a thousand miles away. Except Reaper was a lot better at lying the Briar was. His lies were subtle and you had to read between lines. The filly may as well had a 10 x 10 foot neon sign over her head that flashed LYING LYING LYING. "Briar.." the mare paused, not sure how to pursue this. She didn't want to come across demanding and scare her but too friendly and the filly might shrug her off. "Briarthorn I think you're lying to me. There is clearly something bothering you and I don't like seeing my favorite filly in the world sad." Her tone started firm but softened and warmed at the end. "Come on, you can tell me. I can't help you feel better if you don't tell me what's wrong.." Valkyrie settled, laying down on the floor across from Briar so she wasn't towering over the little one. "Come on now, let's talk, mare to mare." Her golden eyes glittered with concern.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:13 pm
The frown that had adorned her face previously returned, the expression some how deeper and much sadder than it had been previously. So she really was that obvious. That was going to go on the list of things that Briar liked: Valkyrie couldn’t read her mind. Otherwise she would know about the bag and all about the betrayal that she had been contemplating all day. Warily she watched the older phony, surprised that she had settled down and gotten comfortable. It wasn’t something she was used to. It wasn’t unwelcome though, it some how made her seem... easier to correspond with. Nervously she shuffled her hooves and flopped back onto her rump just in front of where her belongings were hidden away. She stared down at the floor, almost as if it had a purpose for her written all over it.
“I’m sorry…” She whispered in her most tiny voice before she ventured a glance at Valkyrie. “Mare to mare?” It was clear that she was thinking about it. It was almost like something she would hear from someone else, but it was so rare to hear it from Valk. She thought about it for a moment or two before she nodded her head. “Mare to mare then.” She lowered herself down so that she was resting it much the same position as her guardian and gazed thoughtfully at her hooves.
“I suppose… I should start with a question: Why can’t I have a mother and father like other foals?” She realized how terribly ungrateful it might have sounded. Especially since Valkyrie and Reaper looked after her. Even if Reaper did so grudgingly, or not at all, who could really say? Still, if they were being open, she could afford to sound a little ungrateful. Couldn’t she? She back peddled slightly. “Um, oh, uh, it’s not that you and Reaper aren’t great- Well, it’s not like you’re not great anyhow, but I was just wondering, that’s all.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:24 pm
Valkyrie blinked a little, clearly surprised. Well, this certainly nothing like a forlorn love or some loneliness from friends. Her heart jumped and instantly sank. Valk looked down at the floor as well, wrinkling her nose in thought. How to explain all this? "Well Briar..we..I mean...none of us really have mothers or fathers. We were just created without any ties to anyone else here. I've tried really hard to establish and maintain ties within our tribe because we've never had anyone else but ourselves. Well..thats how it used to be." Used to be indeed. She taps her forehooves nervously. She somehow knew it wasn't the answer that was being looked for directly. "What prompted this question?" she tried her best not to sound accusatory. She'd done her absolute best to make sure Briar and Branch had everything a foal could ever need and then a little extra. What was the foal lacking..?
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:57 pm
Briar visibly blanched. She could tell that this was one of those subjects that had not been expected. The little filly had never really expected it herself. But it wasn’t as if she could have done anything about the want that had risen inside her little heart. She watched Valkyrie carefully, her eyes carried the weight of her soul in them and it was clear that it was a difficult subject to touch on. Their technically being orphans.
“I know that…” She whispered. However the knowledge still didn’t change the desire in the slightest. An almost exasperated sigh slipped past her lips. There was such thing as adoption. She had been told so. In fact, she had been told that it’s not entirely uncommon. Valkyrie was like a beacon. All of the carousel phonies flocked to her as if she were a light shining in the darkness. For the most part, none of them had been apart since they came to the park.
Briar swallowed again, butterflies danced in her belly and the room spun slightly. “Well, um…” She took a deep breath, held it in and slowly let it going. The spinning stopped but it did nothing for the butterflies. “I dunno… I just see other foal’s out with their parents and I just… kind of…” She struggled for the words. It wasn’t jealousy she felt, was it? Not jealously, no. To be jealous was to want no matter the costs. To be prepared to destroy for it if she had to. She was not prepared. “I just envy them. It seems so-so-so nice.” She stared up at Valk thoughtfully. “You know what I mean?” The filly wasn’t sure that Valkyrie could understand. It seemed as if the mare never wanted for anything but sleep and food and maybe some time for herself. Or whatever it was that this adult did. “They play together. And eat together. And spend time together. There’s always time for nuzzles and licks. Reaper would sooner punt me off the roof than play with me... and most of the times you're too busy and I don't want to be a pest.”
She sighed through her nose. There really wasn’t any point it hiding, was there? Once more her hooves became the center of her interest and she chewed the words over thoughtfully. “I said before that you’re great. And it’s true. You are. But… You’re not my mother, Val. I don't see you as a mother, and I think that's okay.” She looked up at this point and gave a small sad smile. “Sometimes I feel more like a burden on you and Reaper-Well, you anyway- than anything else.” She flicked her soft brown tail behind her into a more comfortable position.
“I spoke with… somephony about this very same subject and-” She paused, her heart hammered loudly in her ears. “They want to adopt me. They said they would be my mother if that’s what I wanted.” The shame was clear on her face. “I won’t lie to you about it: I’ve been considering it ever since we spoke. But…” She trailed off.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:15 pm
Valkyrie listened quietly and without interjection, yet her heart sank and her guilt mounted. Every word, every point, every thing the filly said was absolutely true. As Briar trailed off, Valkyrie did what she hadn't really done much of, if ever. She pulled the filly to her and embraced her to her chest. "Oh Briar.." it was all she could really manage as tears tried to fight their way into her glittering eyes and her body ached to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry we're not the family you wanted." she sighed deeply. "I'm..not a very good parent I suppose. I honestly..didn't know what I was doing when I took you and Branch in. I just..I just wanted him and you to have a better foalhood then the first of us did. I worked so hard on making sure the needs we needed then were being met for you, I didn't consider.." her chest hiccuped with a tiny sob but she buried it as deeply as she could. "You aren't a burden though.." she petted Briar's mane gently. "Not in the slightest bit, nor a pest. And Reaper is..well..Reaper..you don't really have to worry about him or how he feels, because I will kick Reaper out before you any day of the week." She said it firmly. Reaper was an adult..sorta, and he could kinda take care of himself. She had no idea if it meant anything now, but she nuzzled the foal's cheek as she thought about what she'd said. "Adopted hm..?" Her legs reflexively hugged Briar closer at the idea. "Do..you want to be adopted..?" Every word of that question hurt but she asked because this was important. She's always said the happiness and safety of the Carousels was her highest priority and if this would make Briarthorn happiest and safest then...
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:39 pm
The tawny filly blinked rapidly for several moments. She had never expected this kind of reaction from the older mare. She had thought for sure that she was going to be angry with her. That she would scold her being such an ungrateful little foal. For taking her all that she did for granted and still wanting more. She had thought for sure that Valkyrie might well throw her out on her rump in a heartbeat. She knew that Reaper sure would, but that was just Reaper for you. She had thought for sure it would have been So long kid! and that would have been that. But this? A hug, a nice warm hug, was more than Briar could ever have hoped for. Her eyes watered almost instantly and she pressed herself into her the mare’s chest.
Listening to her now, Briar could feel the guilt eating away at her insides. She knew that Valkyrie had done everything she could for them. And she was pretty sure that in his own strange way, so had Reaper. Branch and her never really wanted for anything. Not since Valk had come of age and accepted a job. She had found them a home, no, she had made them a home and kept it. She made sure they were warm, safe and always had a full belly. No one went to bed hungry. Briarthorn sniffled. Reaper was important to Valkyrie, even if she didn’t want to say so, and so to hear her say that she would take her over him in the house any day really struck her straight in the heart.
Tears ran down her soft brown cheeks and she trembled softly in the other carousel’s legs. “I-I thought so, but now…” She trailed off, practically wailing the words. “Now I’m not so sure!” She had thought that was what she had wanted. It sounded just like a dream come true. But then… Why did she feel so guilty? Why did she feel like she was betraying them so badly? They may not have been the perfect picture of a family, but they were still her family. Weren’t they? They all loved her, right? Or at the very least, Valkyrie did. She pressed her nose into the pale mare’s mane and squeezed her eyes shut. The thought of not seeing them as often made her upset. “I would miss you. And-and Branch. And I would even miss Re-Reaper!” And the thought of leaving, now that she had told Valkyrie, seemed to make it more real than it had been before. The very thought of it now made her homesick and she hadn’t even left at all. “I don't want to leave my brothers and sisters!” She sobbed pathetically.
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Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 10:59 pm
Valkyrie began to cry quietly, a watery smile on her face, wiping a tear of Briar's cheek. "All I have ever wanted was for you two to be happy and safe. If you think somephony else can make you happier and safer than Reaper and I, then I..will let you go." Her voice wavered but she nodded firmly. The mare let the filly cry, keeping her close and warm, occasionally murmuring soft words of comfort. "It's ok little one, it's ok. You can go only if you want too. And no matter where you are, and especially no matter what Reaper might say, you're OUR little Briarthorn. You're our darling little filly who we want to see grow into a strong, beautiful, happy mare like Rose Knight. We want these things for you more than anything in this world, all of us. And we will do whatever we must to make sure that happens." Valk's face hardened just a little. "But Briar, you know that we can't always be there like some foals parents. I have to make sure you and Branch and" she sighs a little exasperated, rolling her eyes slightly, "even Reaper have a place to live and food to eat, that won't change." She cracks a tiny smile. "What I can do though, is make more of a effort to be more of a..family for you. To hold and hug and to have more fun. If that's what you need, even if I'm tired." Giving Briar a little hug, she set the filly back a little, carefully smoothing her mane from her face. "It's up to you Briarthorn. I will accept whatever you choose and do whatever I can to make sure your happiest." Valk's heart jackhammered in her chest as she waited for the foal's final choice.
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 2:39 pm
Briarthorn stared back towards Valkyrie. She had never seen this kind of reaction from the other phony-- for any reason whatsoever. She was completely blind and entirely foolish. What had she even been thinking? No one could make her safer than Valkyrie and Reaper and some of her most fond memories were of the Carousel family that she had been reared up by. Chaotic meals, strange holidays and beating up monsters under the bed. All of those things had happened here. Not with Spica. Or anyphony else for that matter.
Something about those words, which were meant to calm her down perhaps only made the small carousel filly cry harder. Sure, Spica was nice and warm and certainly motherly, but Valkyrie had a point. No matter where she went and what she did, she would always be their little Briarthorn. She would always be part of them and they a part of her because she was one of them. There wasn’t a single thing in the world that could change that. Adoption or no. She was still their kin. She would always belong with them. She couldn’t always belong with others because they simply wouldn’t or couldn’t understand her and where she had come from like the other Carousels could. And no one could understand them as well as she did. They always wanted what was best for her, she could tell that much from how hard the white mare worked to keep their home in order. No more living in a box and finding meals in garbage cans.
She settled down on her rump, rubbed the tears and snot from her face with her foreleg and gazed up at her sister carousel phony with those deep green eyes. While she wasn’t sure if she would ever stop wanting to know what it was like to have a mother and a father. If a mother and father’s job was to take care of you and look after you and keep you safe and to hold a family together, Briar started to think that maybe she wasn’t missing out on it so much. Sure, Valkyrie and Reaper, Rose and Troubadour and even her and Branch were a little strange. And most of them weren’t really parent material, but when it came to looking after one another, they were always there.
She came to a conclusion, even if Valkyrie only had 15 minutes for her out of her long day, that was would be more than enough for Briar. That would be all she needed to feel like she was part of something greater than just a band of Carousel Phonies. She couldn’t just leave them. After all, who would look after them when they fought too much? Or find all the little things that went missing in the house under the fridge? Or bring them plump berries in the summer as a sweet treat? This was where she belonged. “I...I want to stay here with you and Reaper and Branch.” She answered, wheezing and weary from the large amount of crying that she had just completed.
Babby Briarthorn looked down at her hoof and back at Valkyrie and made a weird sort of laugh. “Gro~ss.”
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Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 12:47 pm
A long held breath was exhaled when Briar chose to stay and Valk's heart started to slow. "OH THANK GOODNESS! I think my heart would have broken in two and I would have cried forever if you'd had gone!" she cried in her head. Outwardly, she smiled, locating a tissue and wiping the filly's face clean and dry. "I'm glad to hear it." she said calmly while her inner self continued to sob at the idea Briar was almost lost. "Now, no more crying or worrying about these sorts of things. Your home is here." she pointed to her own heart and then to the filly's. "Carousels are family for life, no matter where we go." Valk booped Briar on the nose and laughed softly. The soft moment was interrupted by a very loud growling noise, as Valkyrie's stomach decided to remind the unicorn that she HAD been doing something before all of this. "Ah yes," she stood, flipping her mane back and dabbing at her wet, puffy eyes. "So about lunch..have you changed your mind?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 1:22 pm
Briar took a deep breath and breathed out slowly. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Not once had it ever been an idea to just talk about all the things that bothered her or just how she felt. The filly was really glad that she did. She sniffled softly and eyed her sister carousel as she was cleaned up. "Yes!" She nodded in agreement. No more crying. No more worrying. Yes. Carousel's were a family for life. No matter what. The thought settled over her like a cloak and Briar felt much more at peace than she had been for quiet some time.
The sudden growling of the older Phony's stomach startled Briar and made her laugh, but not more than a few giggles in and the younger phony's stomach growled just as loudly as her older counterpart's. "It looks like my mind was changed for me." She blushed softly and nodded her head. "Let's go have some lunch together, Sister."
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