She stared across at the mirror she had propped against the crystal wall, glaring into a pair of angry red eyes. They were a strangers eyes, their pupils slitted like a cat's and seething with self-directed rage. Red lips curled in a snarl and a rumbling sound reached her ears, increasing her irritation because she knew the inhuman sound came from her own throat.
Galena had long since gone home, leaving Cinnabar to her own devices. The first order of business had been teleporting home to feed the cats and getting a heavy dose of self-loathing as her new form had scared the once-loving creatures into hiding. Along with that had come an unpleasant surprise as gnawing, mind-melting hunger had driven her to raid what was left in the kitchen in a desperate binge that ended when her over-full stomach had rejected everything she had just eaten. The mess had been embarrassing, but the fact that the hunger had not eased for even a moment the whole while added insult to injury. Even know, it felt like someone shoving a blade into her gut and twisting it, which didn't help her mood any. After the clean up had been a hasty over night bag and a few needful items teleported back to the Citadel to find a safe place to crash, the mirror among the items.
Restless, Cinnabar rocked onto her feet and pushed to stand. Taking her eyes away from the mirror, she began to strip her jacket off with sharp motions, dropping it to the floor with a thump and rattle of chains. Next went collar and cuffs, then belt and corset to the rattle of its zipper. The pile on the floor grew as boots joined it, and leggings. Soon, black hair tumbled down her back as even the hairtie was removed and Cinnabar stood naked as Eve before the reflective surface, despair creeping down her spine.
Any other officer would have broken their power up by now and fallen back to human form, but here she was... bare foot on the stone floor with her aura still blazing forth, the visible signs of her disfigurement even more blatant without the covering.
It was not immediately apparent how much Cinnabar had changed on first glance, but her eyes lingered on the details, tracing along the peek of scales where they drifted over her shoulders and hips. If she turned, she could see them blanketing her back and up her neck to disappear into her hair line. Most apparent at that point was the tail that swung behind her hips... long and thin, its end crowned with hair to match her head. More than anything, it symbolized her mistakes, her irritation setting it to swinging back and forth even as she watched.
Everything was ********. Everything. There was no escaping how well and truly she had screwed herself over. Staring at herself in the mirror, all Cinnabar could think about was the pain of fighting addition and years of struggling to get back on her feet... to make a life for herself and earn the things she had. All the effort, all the struggle, and in one outing to the rift, she had flushed all of it down the toilet. There was no working like this, not the way she was used to. ********, she couldn't even really live in the city, not with her signature forever advertising her location. Sleeping would be a danger... which meant the rift was going to have to do for lodging until she figured something out, but mostly? It was the loss of her identity that bothered her the most. The loss of her life. It was like starting all over again, as weak and vulnerable in this new form as she had been fresh out of rehab, and with as much skill.
Stepping up close to the mirror Cinnabar slammed her fist into the wall as she swept her eyes down her skin. Pristine, perfect... not a blemish marked the pale stretches. Every scar she'd ever earned was gone as though it had never been, even the marks of the needle that used to adorn the inside of her arms. She had always been proud of her scars... marks of her hard work, proof that she had earned what she had. Losing them... it was just another wound to add to the others.
Breath coming fast, Cin felt the anger and despair eat its way into her like rot, like creeping cancer... like maggots in a wound. Thick fingers with feral claws closed around the corners of the mirror, a wild look coming into the red eyes.
Her humanity was gone... her life was gone... Ariel was gone. There would be no getting it back now... she was a monster. Glass protested at the tight grip and with a roar, Cinnabar hefted the mirror like it were no more than a feather's weight and she pitched it across the room. The tinkling sound of shattering glass was satisfying, though it did little to relieve the anger that boiled inside.
She was not a human any more. If she was to live as a monster... then she would act like one too. Humanity's rules could no longer touch her... they no longer applied. With hardly a thought, the half youma summoned her clothing and they appeared whole on her form again, wrapping her in comforting leather. Her hunger raged and her lips pulled back from her teeth in a cruel smile.
It was time to find something to eat.
Word Count: 928
