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 Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 1:17 pm
About a month ago this kid in my culinary class asks me out && honestly I was on the verge of asking him out too so it worked out well enough.
Things were incredibly awkward at first because I'm his first girlfriend and I am a little older than him (he's 18 and I'm 21).
Anyways everything has been going good so far...
He's pretty serious about me (yeah I know it probably won't last very long but still) & I'm also pretty dedicated to him as my boyfriend.
So I decided it was time to share one of my most personal life experiences with him before we got any deeper, just to make sure he won't book it one day in the middle of everything.
&& at first he said "oh yeah i can handle that" && that was Saturday.
However on Sunday he was acting pretty distant and I'm like okay he's obviously processing what I've told him last night and I should give him some space.
But it's worrying me a bit, he's normally extremely clingy and for him to be not clingy- at all and actually avoiding conversation with me is hurting, a lot.
I told him to his face that if he wanted to end the relationship because of that thing I told him to just let me know and that I'd accept it and be okay with it eventually.
He said no.
But he's been acting strangely and avoiding me in person and over text.
I do not know what to do.
Every time I mention it like "Did I do something wrong?" he answers no but continues to avoid me.
It's the most confusing mess for me right now and it's starting to get pretty painful for me (i don't know about him).
I just.. don't know what to do.
Halp. Update edit: things have been worked out.
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 11:48 pm
That's a tough situation to be in. Depending on what he needs to process, he really may just need time to himself. In my experience, I'd recommend giving him time to himself, and let him approach you. Let him know that you're going to give him space, and to come to you when he's ready to talk. Give him a week or so, and then check in, just to see how he's doing.
I hope that made sense...
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:20 am
I can't help but notice that in your writing it sounds like you've already thrown in the towel on this relationship. You talk about how, despite both of you being serious about the relationship, it's doomed to fail. You only brought up your past because you thought it would destroy things later (which probably means that you framed it as a big, relationship ending thing when you told him) and you were the one that brought up breaking up in the first place. Without knowing very much about the two of you or the situation, it seems a lot like you are the one pushing him away.
I have been told many times by my boyfriend that I should leave, that he doesn't deserve me, that he is awful and that he would understand entirely if I chose to just up and walk away- it would hurt him but he'd be okay eventually. And it pisses me off every time. It's no fun to hear the person you like (maybe even love) say that you should go or give you permission to leave. It stings of them not wanting you enough to hope you stay.
Perhaps you should try having a little faith and giving your guy some time to take in.. whatever it is he needs to take in. I don't know what you told him, so I don't know how big a deal it actually is, but chances are he just needs time to process.
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 5:57 pm
Catling_Gunn I can't help but notice that in your writing it sounds like you've already thrown in the towel on this relationship. You talk about how, despite both of you being serious about the relationship, it's doomed to fail. You only brought up your past because you thought it would destroy things later (which probably means that you framed it as a big, relationship ending thing when you told him) and you were the one that brought up breaking up in the first place. Without knowing very much about the two of you or the situation, it seems a lot like you are the one pushing him away. I have been told many times by my boyfriend that I should leave, that he doesn't deserve me, that he is awful and that he would understand entirely if I chose to just up and walk away- it would hurt him but he'd be okay eventually. And it pisses me off every time. It's no fun to hear the person you like (maybe even love) say that you should go or give you permission to leave. It stings of them not wanting you enough to hope you stay. Perhaps you should try having a little faith and giving your guy some time to take in.. whatever it is he needs to take in. I don't know what you told him, so I don't know how big a deal it actually is, but chances are he just needs time to process. You're right.
Honestly I'm just terrified of relationships but i'm working really hard to trust him and have faith in him.
So far it's working out alright and i'll try much harder to have faith in him.
he deserves that much.
thank you for your advice.
<3
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 5:59 pm
xinitia That's a tough situation to be in. Depending on what he needs to process, he really may just need time to himself. In my experience, I'd recommend giving him time to himself, and let him approach you. Let him know that you're going to give him space, and to come to you when he's ready to talk. Give him a week or so, and then check in, just to see how he's doing. I hope that made sense... Thankyou.
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 6:05 pm
arrow Punkyheart Kittieh You're right.
Honestly I'm just terrified of relationships but i'm working really hard to trust him and have faith in him.
So far it's working out alright and i'll try much harder to have faith in him.
he deserves that much.
thank you for your advice.
<3 I hope things work out for both of you. Just try to stay strong. It'll tough, I know, but you can make it through. smile
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Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 6:10 pm
Catling_Gunn arrow Punkyheart Kittieh You're right.
Honestly I'm just terrified of relationships but i'm working really hard to trust him and have faith in him.
So far it's working out alright and i'll try much harder to have faith in him.
he deserves that much.
thank you for your advice.
<3 I hope things work out for both of you. Just try to stay strong. It'll tough, I know, but you can make it through. smile Thankyou again. <3
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