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 Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 6:45 pm
Lenore looked at Zin from across the bed, blushing furiously. "Lenore..." The pigtailed girl whispered quietly, blushing as well. Their fingers intertwined as they stared into each other's eyes, their breathing matching each others'. "Zin... I think I-"
Lenore's eyes shot open, breathing heavily. She was in her dorm room, and a quick look around revealed she was alone. Turning an intense shade of red, the fourteen year old buried her head in her pillow.
What was wrong with her lately??
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 7:05 pm
When Zinnia awoke, her conversation with Amalia and Yesenia echoed in her mind. She frowned and pressed her palms against her face, refusing to get up out of bed. The sixteen-year-old still wasn't sure what she wanted. She thought of Lenore as her friend-- her best friend-- but there were things that she undeniably wanted to do with her that she was pretty sure you weren't supposed to do with your friends. She blushed beneath her hands and rolled over, retreating under her blankets.
She was not ready to face Lenore. How could she, when Yesenia and Amalia had forced those kinds of thoughts into her head?
Finally, she knew that she couldn't put it off any longer. It was not a free day; she was on duty in the kitchen again. And, once again... it would be with Lenore.
This is stupid, she thought to herself. All I want in the world is to be with Lenore and to make her happy. I can't do that if I'm hiding from her. Get out of bed! she commanded herself. She threw back her blankets, revealing dark blue hair that was in a complete disarray. She ferociously dragged a brush through her long locks before securing them in her usual pigtails. She hurried through the rest of her morning rituals before selecting her clothes for the day. She threw off her pajamas, but paused before dressing herself. She stared down at her own body, eyeing it critically. Years of training had hardened her muscles; the last of her body fat had disappeared, leaving her lean and athletic.
She wondered if Lenore liked how she looked.
Zinnia shook her head violently, blushing as she attempted to dispel such thoughts. She'd never given her appearance much thought before, beyond trying to avoid looking too girly. She hastily put on her clothes and rushed out of her dorm.
She quickly found herself reporting for duty in the kitchen. She was assigned dish washing duty and got to work right away, glad to have something to do with her hands. Her heart was beating wildly, and her stomach churned. Where was Lenore? Did the younger girl also have a late start to the day for some reason?
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 7:26 pm
Lenore laid in bed with her glasses on, staring at the ceiling. Tried - failed! - not to think of the dream she'd had. She blushed intensely again, covering her face with her hands. Her cheeks were warm from the blush, and the girl couldn't help but wonder if Zin's hands felt as warm. She rocketed upwards into a sitting position, shaking her entire upper body from side to side, trying to force herself to stop thinking about it. But despite all her wants to the contrary, she still did. She couldn't help it. Something about her was broken, but what was it? She didn't know what to do!
Looking over at the schedule, she looked it over, and immediately wanted to die. She had kitchen duty, with Zin. She remembered the last time she was on kitchen duty with her best friend. There was nothing like this happening then! So why now? What had changed between them, that looking at the other girl caused her to feel so happy, even in comparison to how she had been before?
Removing her glasses, she stared at the blurry handles in her hands and had an idea. Maybe if she couldn't see Zin, she wouldn't feel like she'd been feeling lately? Maybe it was worth a shot. Setting the glasses on the night stand, she got dressed quickly and squinted into the mirror as she fumbled with her ribbon. Wait, she could wear the glasses for now, duh! The girl frowned at herself in the mirror as she put the glasses back on. This was making her stupid, and she didn't like it. Sighing to herself, she put the ribbon into her hair and headed for the kitchen.
Standing outside the door, she looked inside and saw the familiar back of Zinnia Hayes. Blushing, the girl took off her glasses and put them into her pocket. Everything was blurry, but she could make out everything that mattered. Probably. Stepping cautiously over to her friend, Lenore looked down at the ground and swallowed. "H-hey, Zin... Sorry I'm late...."
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 7:33 pm
"L-Lenore?" Zin said, nearly dropping a plate. "Oops... It's, uh, slippery," she said lamely, raising soapy hands. "Um. Hi! It's okay, I, um, I just got here." She hastily looked away from her friend, instead staring at the sink full of dirty dishes.
What's wrong with me?! Zinnia wondered. Her heart was beating faster than she could have imagined. The butterflies in her stomach were threatening to erupt out of her mouth like a volcano. I can't even talk to her now!
She took a few deep breaths. Calm down, you're being stupid again, she commanded. It's just Lenore. Just Lenore. Just her best friend in the world. Just the person that she wanted to stay with forever, but was only too afraid to say so...
She forced herself to look back at her dark-haired friend. She blinked in surprise; something distracted her enough to forget her raging emotions for a moment. "Hey, where are your glasses?" she asked. "I thought you couldn't see without them."
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 7:44 pm
Lenore couldn't help but notice Zin was acting a little strange. She felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Could she have somehow found out about the weird dreams Lenore had been having? She hadn't told anyone, but they were in her sleep, so... Could she have been sleep talking, and one of her room mates told her? Did one of her room mates tell everyone?? The girl was mortified at the prospect. This wasn't normal. Nothing was as it should have been, ever since she started thinking about holding her best friend's hand. And even now, that thought made her blush furiously.
She fidgeted anxiously, looking away from her friend that she couldn't see clearly anyway. "I, uh, I.... figured I'd try going at it without them, today. To see if I've improved since then. I can see pretty well!" She lied.
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 7:50 pm
"Oh," Zinnia replied, smiling a friendly grin. "It's nice to see you without them; I think you're really pr--" she suddenly snapped her mouth shut, and an all-too familiar blush rose in her cheeks. She didn't used to have any trouble calling Lenore pretty, but now the compliment seemed to carry a heavier weight. "I mean, uh... I'm glad that you're seeing better now," she mumbled.
She stood in awkward silence for a moment, then suggested, "Well, you can dry plates while I wash them, if you want? It'll go faster that way..." She gestured vaguely at a dish towel lying near the empty drying racks. She shrugged, tried to force her blush down, and turned back to the dishes.
Smooth, she thought sarcastically to herself.
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 8:00 pm
Lenore felt the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach again as Zin cut herself off. Lenore had heard her call her pretty a fair number of times, and the fact that she wouldn't do it now served only to reinforce the girl's fears that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
She forced herself to calm down. Why did it matter if Zin thought she was pretty? Thinking logically, it didn't. But it did, and that was the problem. Ever since the weird thoughts started, Zin's compliments made her really happy for some reason. She chalked it up to it probably being normal to receive a compliment, but now that she was thinking about it, it was less that she was receiving a compliment and more that Zin was giving it. And now that was being taken away, probably because she was weird now.
"Y-yeah, thanks." She moved to dry the dishes that Zin had already washed and nearly tripped over her own two feet, but quickly recovered. She hoped the other girl hadn't noticed - she probably already thought her weird enough.
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 8:10 pm
Luckily, Zinnia was concentrating so hard by that point on not looking at Lenore that she didn't notice the girl trip. She continued to work in awkward silence for several minutes, passing Lenore clean dishes.
In the middle of passing yet another dish, Zinnia's hand accidentally brushed Lenore's. Her hand, wet and soapy from the dishwater, slid effortlessly against the younger girl's. It felt silky smooth to Zinnia, and her hand burned strangely warm where it had touched Lenore. She longed to touch her again.
"Sorry," she said, breaking the silence. She pulled her hand away and put the plate back in the water. She took a deep breath and turned to Lenore. "I'm sorry for being so quiet today," she said, her heart suddenly beating in her throat. "I'm just... I'm just so nervous, now. I wanted to tell you something..." She trailed off, but her eyes did not leave Lenore's face, for once. She was forcing herself to be brave.
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 8:19 pm
Lenore dried dishes off as they were passed to her, even more quiet than usual, but inside, she was freaking the heck out. Their hands accidentally met, and Lenore screamed internally - everything she'd come to want, everything she'd come to fear, was in that touch. And it was over so quickly. Lenore found herself wanting more.
Lenore looked up at Zin, or more accurately, the blurry face of her best friend. She got the impression the other girl was looking directly at her, and she blushed deeply from the thought. And then the sinking feeling was back with a vengeance at Zin's words. She knew. Lenore didn't know how, but Zin had found out about the dreams and was going to end their friendship. And she couldn't even blame her! Tears threatened to form in Lenore's eyes, but somehow, she kept them at bay. She'd cry later. No need to make Zin feel bad for what she had to do.
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 8:28 pm
Zinnia tried to maintain eye contact-- she really did-- but the blush rising in her face finally forced her to look away. She couldn't say it, not with those beautiful ruby eyes staring back at her.
But she would say it. She had to, or this absurdity would never end.
"We're best friends," she said to the space over Lenore's left shoulder. "I want us to be friends forever. You're... you're the most... Ah, I'm sorry, this is really hard for me to say." She wiped a hand across her eyes, forgetting that they were still wet. She scrunched her nose in annoyance, wiping her face off on her sleeve. "You're the most importpersontome," she mumbled quickly, slurring her words. Her blush deepened. "I want to be friends with you forever, but a part of me also doesn't want to be friends." She paused.
"I don't want to be just friends. Do you understand? Yesenia said that I had a crush on you. I don't really know what that means." The teenager was gaining confidence; it was a relief to finally let her emotions out in the open. She wiped her hands dry on her pants. "I don't know about crushes, but I do know that I love you, and I want to do this." She grabbed Lenore's hand and squeezed it. "I want to be with you, and make you happy, if I can, and... And I want to do things that friends don't do with you." She blushed, but she was finally able to look Lenore in the eye.
"Is... Is that okay?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 8:49 pm
Without her glasses on, Lenore didn't see Zin look away. The fourteen year old definitely wanted to look away, though, fearing what was doubtlessly coming next. She listened with bated breath as Zinnia spoke, her hopes rising with each word. She wanted to be friends forever? That was good, wasn't it? Maybe she hadn't heard! They all came crashing down as she said that part of her didn't want to be friends.
Lenore felt like she had been slapped, even though she had been anticipating the blow. Tears welled in her eyes, and she nodded quietly. "I understa-" But Zin wasn't finished talking. She grabbed Lenore's hand, and the girl gave a short gasp at the warmth of the other's hand on her own. The black haired girl was trembling as Zin finished speaking, her mouth scrunched up into a jagged line. The tears in her eyes fell down her cheek, and Lenore brought her free hand up to wipe them away, opening her mouth to say something. Anything. But nothing came out - her throat seemed parched, a stark contrast from the waterworks happening just a few inches up.
Instead, she simply nodded. Slowly, at first, but then vigorously. "...eah. Yeah!" The girl choked out the words, and began to simultaneously laugh and cry. If it was confusing to anyone, it was most of all to the girl who was doing it. Everything was alright? And Zin felt the same way? Lenore opened her tear filled eyes, fully expecting to find herself alone in her room. But she was still in the kitchen, the blurry visage of Zin right in front of her.
Was she truly allowed such happiness?
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Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 8:58 pm
"Wh-why are you crying?" Zin said, half laughing with relief in the knowledge that Lenore felt the same way. She pulled her friend into a hug, and reveled in how right it felt. A warmth grew in the pit of her stomach and spread throughout her entire body. "It's okay."
And, amazingly, everything was okay. Amalia had been right; all she'd had to do was tell Lenore her feelings. What an amazing thing it was that Lenore accepted and returned those feelings. How long had Lenore liked her in that way? How long had she liked Lenore like that before she'd acknowledged it?
Things were going to change between them now, but she wanted that moment to last forever.
"Hey!" a cook bearing a new load of dirty dishes barked. "Get back to work! You're on duty, you can have your girl time later!"
Zinnia was reluctant to let go of Lenore, but she had to obey authority. "Yes sir," she said apologetically. She slowly ran her hands across Lenore's, allowing her fingers to linger for as long as possible before returning to the dishes. After the cook walked away, she whispered, "Let's hurry up here." Unaware of the younger girl's blurry vision, she shot her a bold and suggestive wink.
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