Melvin returned to his room, flicking the lights on and looking around. He didn't live here anymore. It was storage. It kept his things. It kept his clothes. He came to grab laundry, his bathroom things, and nothing else. Everything else he needed was moved to the greenhouse. Everything else stayed here. Preserved. Kept in place. Waiting.

Her things sat neatly stacked, organized, and written with sharpie in as neat a handwriting at he could manage of what items were inside. He knew she would appreciate it. She was far more organized than he was, and she loved her label maker more than anything.

His place was kept clean, but with no one living here, he never had to worry about dust. He didn't have to worry about cleaning anything.

Still, he felt as if he was disturbing the place by being here. He was in the here and now, and without her, moving into this held place felt as if he was interloping on their space. THEIR space, that involved them and could only move with them in it.

He hadn't touched her things in a while, but he knew where the most cherished things were kept. The sweater was kept in a vacuumed sealed bag and took a pair of scissors to open one of the boxes and take it out, looking at the bag.

"I'm sorry. He's…just borrowing it. I'm sure you won't mind. It's to help. You contacted him so…I'm sure he can tell you about it….and the rest." He said, swallowing hard.

The rest was kept on a usb drive. He took it from his tablet, but he would never dare to keep it there. He had felt embarrassed and nervous just having it on there for a few minutes before he transferred it over that one night.

He found the drive and was about to go, but stopped. Looking down, he turned the black usb drive in his hand, biting his lip before looking over at her tablet he kept on the desk.

Walking over, he picked up and looked back at the drive, slowly shaking it in his hand before he went to his side of the bed and sat down.

It had been a long time since that evening. They had been too reckless, but, it somehow had worked.

When they went to the showers, they usually split to go to their respective gendered doors, and he didn't know when, but at some point, Rin had started to slip in the men's bathroom. Just as soon, he started to slip into the women's.

On the very late nights, when you could watch out for people coming in, they would scope out the place and if conditions were in their favor, they would share a stall, pull the curtain closed, and try to be quiet. They would set the water at full blast, and they would down their whispers in the rush of hot water.

It had been a perfect night. Quiet. Empty. The privacy of a few moments alone had been enough for her to bring up a question.

Come on. No one is around. She had said, smiling as she pushed aside her towels to bring out her tablet.

It was safer to say no. If anyone had ever found the video, he would be humiliated for his entire life in Deus. Everyone would know how he was. They would know that here, standing with Rin, he was more heated with the idea of her pressed against bleached tiled under searing water, among steam and exfoliating body wash. They would know how he made sure to keep ever corner of himself trimmed and cleaned. Shaved. Trimmed. How barren of scars he was compared to his more experienced betters.

They would know him intimately when he barely let those he trusted…..had trusted….to know that much.

But in the women's showers with her, he had said yes because she was just as thrilled to engage with him here, to love him here instead of laughing at him. She didn't judge all the things he wanted to keep away from everyone else.

So he had said yes.

He plugged the usb in and opened the drive with a few flicked of his finger, double tapping the small video icon before it came into view. It had been hard to prop the tablet in the shower, but his bathroom caddy had held it in place between two shampoo bottles.

Among the moving screen, her body turned, barren and leaning back, framed as his legs came into the picture.

It was hard to hear their whispering among the shower, but every so often, he could hear their mingled laugher, their pitched voices, their sushing, their fingers against it's others as they smiled and looked back, as they thought they heard someone between their quickening breathes.

He remembered it more vividly than the video, the touch of wet skin and soft, curly hair. The dips and dives of a stomach that sucked in, the turn of a hip, and the feel of an inner thigh brushing against his side.

They stayed till the water turned luke warm.

But here, now, he could see her outside of his own mind, and he curled down to press his brow against the screen and close his eyes, listening to their voices. Her voice.

He waited till the video ended and let the silent linger before he finally pulled it again, wiping his eyes. He copied the file, and then pulled the drive out.

He would have never given this to anyone. It was theirs. Before, it was too much to give this much to anyone.

Now it felt too heavy to give this much of her to someone, but Jan had promised him her return. A return to welcome more videos and the touch of her again.

A chance to say more.

He rose up, setting the tablet back down perfectly where she had left it on the desk, and then took her sweater from the box. He left their room, turning off the light and locking the room behind him.

He sent Jan a text to expect him, and held the sweater close to his still pained chest.