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Planting both of her hands at her sides, Lenore pushed herself off the bed. Her eyes were puffy from crying, their already natural red augmented. Pushing the letters that were strewn about on the floor underneath her bed, she stepped over to the door and opened it, halfway expecting someone to be there. Hoping, perhaps, that someone was there. But no one stood in the doorway, and the girl walked out into the hall. Not paying any attention to her surroundings, she turned a corner and was knocked aside by someone exiting their room.



Rin frowned as she looked at the calender. It was that day again, huh? Sixteen years now. Her throat tightened up as she remembered her departed mother, killed years earlier on this very day. She didn't now why the date held such power over her, but even if she didn't think much about her mother any other day of the year, today always seemed to force her to remember. But there was nothing she could do about it. Not then, not now. I love you, mama. She thought sorrowfully. Sighing, she decided that perhaps some training would help her get past today. Opening the door into the hall, she stepped out and immediately collided with something small.

Looking down, she saw a young girl on the ground. "Oh, no! I'm so sorry!" She bent down to help the girl, who she had seen around the compound but never talked to, up, but the girl was already getting to her feet. Her eyes were puffy and red, and Rin was suddenly even more concerned. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." The little girl bit out, but tears formed at the corners of her eyes, undermining her statement. She wiped angrily at her eyes with the back of her hands, before looking up at Rin and repeating obstinately, "I'm fine."

Rin frowned and placed a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder. "It's not really my place to presume, I know, but you don't really seem fine to me." Tears snuck onto the girl's face again as Rin spoke, which only served to harden the short haired woman's resolve. "Come on, we can talk in my room if you don't feel like talking about it out here." She gently guided the girl towards her room, and despite herself, Lenore found herself allowing it. As Rin closed the door behind her, Lenore's tears flowed renewed. The woman stepped up behind her and placed a soothing hand on the girl's back. "There, there. Let me know when you feel comfortable talking about it - I can wait."


The minutes passed like eternities, but finally Lenore spoke. "My parents are dead. I don't know why it's bothering me now - it never bothered me before. It was always just a fact that I couldn't change. So why does it hurt so much now?" The girl cast a teary glance at Rin, searching for answers - answers the adult hoped she could provide.

"Well, I can't say for sure. Everyone grieves at their own pace - it may just be that you never felt comfortable doing so until now." She gave the small girl a reassuring smile before casting her eyes down at the floor. "My mother died, too. Sixteen years ago, today, in fact. I didn't really ever have time to grieve - my father quit his job, and I had to work in his place, or else we couldn't eat. I eventually came to terms with her being gone, but I don't think I'll ever not miss her, you know?" Lenore looked at Rin curiously, tears staining her face. Was this what Zin felt like when Lenore suddenly started talking about her parents? Rin looked up at the girl and continued to speak. "What I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad for feeling bad - it's perfectly normal to miss the people that were close to you. If nothing else, find meaning in your loss. That's what I'm doing."

Lenore tilted her head, confused. "What do you mean...?"

Rin looked towards the ceiling. "My mother was killed by a burglar who broke into our house. So I want to join the Military Police, or perhaps the Garrison, so I can help people. Make it so no one ever has to lose a loved one to the selfishness of humans ever again." She smiled softly, as if remembering something nice. "That's my dream."

Lenore looked down. "My parents were part of the Scouting Legion. They were..." She broke off before she could finish her sentence.

Rin frowned and grabbed the girl's shoulder lightly. "You don't have to say it, I understand. A word of advice? Don't focus too much on how they died - focus on how they lived. While my dream was admittedly spawned from the death of my mother, yours doesn't have to be the same. You can find meaning in the way they lived. They seem like they were great people."

Lenore looked up at the older woman. "You never met them, how can you know?"

Rin smiled kindly. "Because they brought up a great daughter."

The girl averted her eyes. "You don't even know me."

Rin shook her head. "I don't, but I'd like to." She smiled. "I'm Rin Shepard. What's your name?"

"Lenore."

"Alright, Lenore. Now that we know each other's names, I think we can be friends. Is that alright?" Lenore momentarily remembered meeting Zinnia at the parade when the pig tailed girl extended the same invitation and nodded tentatively. "Great." Rin continued to smile. Kneeling down, she wrapped the girl in a brief hug before separating. "If you ever want to talk about anything, just let me know, alright? I might not be able to help as much as I would like to, but I will always try to. Do you feel better, now, at least?" Lenore paused, thinking about it for a moment, and to her surprise, she did feel better. She nodded, and Rin beamed. "I'm glad to hear it."


Back in her room, Lenore got down on her hands and knees and crawled under her bed, retrieving the letters she had kicked under before. She wasn't sure why, but after the talk she had had with Rin, she had an urge to finish reading the letters. Maybe it was because of what the woman had said about finding meaning in her loss. Whatever the reason, she stacked them into a pile, and began to read the top one, which was undoubtedly from her mother.

Elenore

If you are reading this, Viktor and I are dead. I made arrangements long ago that if anything were to happen to us, you would stay with my sister. It is not exactly my first choice - Anastasia never truly understood me, and I have doubts she would fare any better with you. But it is better than leaving you alone. For what it is worth, I am sorry. I was never the ideal mother. It just was not in my nature to be. I'm much more fit for fighting titans than raising a child. I fear that my failings as a person are to be yours as well. Perhaps you will find someone you love one day, like I did with Viktor, who will accept you despite those faults. If you ever do, hold that person tight and never let them go. You cannot imagine how important they will be to you. But alas, I prattle on like a little girl, rather than a member of the Scouting Legion. I had hoped to see you join the military one day, and perhaps follow in your father's and my footsteps, but it seems this was not to be. Know that I love you, even if I did not do a good job of showing it, my dearest.

Sophitia

P.S. If you do decide to join the Scouting Legion like your father and I did, I warn you about the horses. Find someone who understands them, and get them to help you. They are strange beasts, but they will be a lifeline in the days to come.

P.P.S. When you are of age, the house is yours. Or even earlier if things with Anastasia do not work out, as I suspect they will not. Farewell, Elenore.

By the time she had finished reading, tears were streaming down Lenore's face, but she was smiling. Like Rin, she had a goal, now, if not a dream.

She was going to join the Scouting Legion.