Welcome to Gaia! ::

Lithian forced his feet to Araceli’s door the first day after his face off against Detraeus. Said oblivionite answered the door, and Lithian felt his breath chill in his throat. His fingers shook, so he tucked them together.

“I—”

“Not yet.”

Lithian blinked, shoulders squaring off a fraction. “Pardon?”

“She says ‘no,’” Detraeus reiterated, his expression surprisingly neutral, lacking the perpetual scowl Lithian was used to being faced with. “Come later.”

Lithian opened his mouth, hesitated, and then nodded, shoulders sinking a fraction as he turned away. He returned again the next day, and the next. Each day, Detraeus answered, giving him relatively the same response. By the fifth day, Lithian felt worn thin, panicked that she’d never even let him see her.

“Please,” he said, shaking his head. “Please. I just want to speak to her, just a moment—”

Detraeus stepped through the threshold, and for a moment, Lithian tensed, taking a startled and stumbled step backward at the advance. But the oblivionite only shut the door behind him, lingered a moment, and then nodded his head, leading the way around several paces farther from the house. Wary, but uncertain what else to do, Lithian followed at safe distance. Detraeus’ tail did not give its characteristic irritable flick, though, nor did he even look stiff.

When he stopped, Lithian stilled also, fiddling uncertainly with the edge of his tunic. He bit at his lip, and curbed the need to scuff his feet. “If you’re expecting an apology—”

“I would have expected you to kill me.”

Lithian blinked, startled.

“But you didn’t,” Detraeus said. “Why?”

“I…” Lithian hesitated. His chest bunched, a strange, buried knot of anxiety resurfacing. “It wasn’t my place to choose your time…your life isn’t mine to take, and…” He dipped his lashes, folded hands gripping tighter to one another. “I selected my element with intent to save lives. Not end them. I’ll never forgive you—”

“No.”

Lithian glanced sharply upwards. “W—?”

“You will.”

Lithian’s posture stiffened, and he opened his mouth.

“Not today. Not in a week, or a month, or a year,” Detraeus stated. “But you are the type of man who forgives, whether he likes to or not.”

Lithian frowned, mouth shutting again.

“Under similar circumstances, I would not have blinked before stopping the heart of anyone who threatened Araceli. Whether that makes you weak, merciful, or foolish, or just me fortunate…” Detraeus shrugged. “So the gods made us.”

“So the gods made us,” Lithian murmured, his expression pinched and curious as he watched Detraeus turn towards the house. “Ara—”

“Return tomorrow,” Detraeus instructed. “She wishes to see you almost as much as she wishes not to…”

Lithian winced, lingered, and then sighed, leaving once more. He returned, however, as directed the next day, afternoon in full tilt. The door was not immediately answered, and as time wore on, he felt his anxiety spiking, breath catching in his throat and nerves bunching up.

“Please,” he whispered beneath his breath. “Please…”

When the door opened, Lithian startled, and winced, as though the mere act were an affront and he was already submitting. On spotting Ara, his pulse picked up, and he opened his mouth, but it felt too-tight and full of his suddenly rapidly beating heart. As a result, his lips opened and shut several times mutely before he got anything out.

“Ara…I—wanted…to…” He breathed out, wringing his fingers together to still the onset of shaking.

Lithian cringed, shrinking back, shoulders sinking and wings tucking in small against his back. He shook his head, but every time he tried to open his mouth, his breath quivered with his body and his voice stalled in his throat.

“No, nonono,” he whispered. “That’s not—I didn’t want—I never wanted to…” He squeezed his eyes shut when they stung. “I’m sorry—I’msorryimsorry,” he pleaded on repeat, words shaking with his body and losing volume as he went. “I just wanted to see you, I wanted to tell you, that I was sorry and that you’re right, you’re right, it was terrible of me and I never meant to be so angry and it terrified me and made me sick and I shouldn’t have done it with you there or ever and I deserve it if you never want to speak to me again but you’ve been my friend for eight years and I feel like we’ve been falling away from each other and it hurts and I don’t…want…to be cut from you, Ara, please…let me…apologize…”

Lithian folded his arms in on himself, breath coming out in a shuddered exhale and tears gathering in the corners of his eyes in spite of his best efforts to hold together.

“Should I kneel…?” he asked, voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. “Because I’ll kneel, if it’s what you want…I’ll beg you, and return again and again and again if you’ll let me, or tell me what it is you’d have me do, and I'll do it…please…”

Lithian shuddered, a sob he’d been holding back escaping in spite of himself and he clung, eyes squeezing shut as he held to her, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” murmured on repeat as he did.

Part of him still recognized his defenses. If he hadn’t fought in earnest, Detraeus would have hurt him. Detraeus had started it, threatening Casseth and taunting Lithian. But Lithian had never intended to hurt Ara, never aimed any of his ill will in her direction, and wanted desperately to maintain his relationship with her despite the issues he had with the man she’d chosen to share her heart with. And, as she had said, he knew personally what he had put her through. Knew what it meant to watch someone hold a loved one’s life in the balance directly before his eyes.

The thought that he had done that to her…

His shoulders sank, clinging fingers bunching tighter and breath painful in his throat. “I’m sorry…”

Lithian sighed, cheeks warming with embarrassment as he pulled back, and he made quick work of plucking away the dampness left in the wake of his tears. It wasn’t comforting to hear how serious Ara sounded, particularly when taking into consideration Ara’s history of romantic others in addition to everything Detraeus had done. But at the same time, Lithian recognized it was not his life to live, and, as of their most immediately recent interactions, the oblivionite had…surprised him. Not dazzlingly so, but some.

It encouraged him to see that the man was not always angry, not always grim, and that perhaps Araceli had genuinely softened his temperament a fraction. Or, at the very least, brought out a part of him that he had not previously had reason to show. It also interested Lithian that he seemed to be a man of faith, a fact that had escaped him before. But then, Lithian had known little to nothing of Detraeus before, aside from his merits as a fighter.

“Detraeus seems convinced that I will,” Lithian said at length. “Forgive him, that is…” After a moment, he gave a small, tired shrug. “And I have been told that I do so too easily, so…perhaps I will find a way, in time.” He eyed his friend, expression edging into something more curious and analytical. “You’re…permanently serious about him? As in…mating ceremonies, and children…? Are you…” Lithian hesitated, cheeks warming a fraction, and he cleared his throat, “…sharing his bed yet?”

Lithian blinked, startled by Araceli’s reaction. Abashment, he could understand, but she seemed almost…nervous? Uncertain? He tilted his head.

“No particular reason,” he answered honestly. “I was just…very surprised to find out that you weren’t already, when he initially moved in. You’re both clearly interested in each other, living together, have been for over a year now, young, attractive…” At Ara’s look, he flushed warmer. “I can dislike a man and appreciate he’s attractive! I’d never touch him, but…” He shook his head. “I was just surprised, that’s all…and…” He hesitated, not wanting to drive Ara away by seeming too wary. “Though I assume he’s given you no reason—” ‘ —other than the blatantly obvious treatment of other people—’ “—to assume he might hurt you, he does…have some violent tendencies, and some men…act on them in different ways. Also,” Lithian added quickly, not wanting to be immediately torn apart, “if you do gain reason to need contraceptives later, I can provide them. Either through potion, pendant, or spell circle if you’d like.”

Lithian relaxed. It would take him extensive time to grow fully accustomed to the thought, but for now, Araceli was happy with the man, and in the end, what mattered was how he treated her, not everyone else, at least in so far as Lithian was concerned for the moment. So, he ushered away the rest of his thoughts, and turned his attention to happier topics.

He asked about her baking business, offered to help her with any current projects, and wound up fully engaged in the kitchen. While they worked, he prompted her for tales of Ayr: what had actually occurred in all her time gone, the full story of the “children” she’d spoken of meeting and Detraeus’ reactions. He told her in turn of the work he’d done with the local church, healing, and his hopes and plans to start a small business of his own as a practitioner. He brought up the building he intended to buy, and eventually his conversation with Cas about the prospect of one day building a house all their own.

For the first time in many months, Lithian felt as though he was making positive progress forward with Ara again — comfortable around her, not upsetting her — and he savored the moment, praying that it lasted, and that things only went forward more smoothly from there.