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 Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 3:06 pm
Alistair wanted to dismiss it as just another nightmare. He'd had plenty of those, certainly, ever since beginning this adventure as Sailor Tantalus.
None of them were like this.
Waking up in a cold sweat and desperately reaching for Lance was nothing new, but the sheer vividness of the nightmare was. It didn't feel like a dream, it felt like - well, it felt real.
Usually in dreams things didn't hurt, but in the tangle of strange not-memories-not-dreams he could pick out points of absolute agony - Lellouch blinding him, Lellouch murdering him.
And until his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he was convinced that he really was blind. That it was all true, that Lellouch had already stolen his sight and he was going to be in that terrible world where the Negaverse had won and where the only end for anyone who resisted them was death.
"Lance," he gasped, grabbing onto his boyfriend's arm, "Lance please wake up."
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 6:20 pm
Alistair barely had to touch his arm to have the blonde sprang up, wide away. He swore loudly, grabbing his head with one hand as the other flew to turn the bedside light on. He had to squeeze his eyes shut for a minute as he sucked in a breathe. Then he registered Alistair's voice calling him and he turned, almost sliding completely off the bed in the process to face Alistair. Lance just stared. He stared at everything. The brunette's hair, how it was a mess and strewn all place from sleeping. He stared at the freckles that crawled across his face. He stared at his clothes, crumpled and wrinkled due tossing and turning. But most importantly he stared at his eyes. His green eyes. Lance never loved that color so much in his life. And then the blonde shot forward, grabbing Alistair's face between his hands and crashing their mouths together. Their teeth clanked against each other, and Lance hissed out a curse. He was okay. More importantly he was alive. "I'm sorry." Lance said. "I'm so sorry." The blonde ran his fingers over Alistair's face. Tracing lines that weren't there, but lines that he knew and was familiar with. And had been familiar with for years.
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 7:07 pm
Alistair reached out to catch Lance before he slid off the bed, and with actual light in the room, throwing everything into bright relief, he could take a moment to really accept that he could still see. Or, more properly, he'd never stopped being able to see. Whatever that nightmare future had been, it hadn't happened yet.
When Lance crashed their mouths together, Alistair threw his arms around Lance's shoulders and clung to him. Ordinarily a kiss like that would've made him close his eyes, but right now he wanted to keep them open, to enjoy seeing. The blond's fingers traced lines of scars that weren't there (but should be -- had been for three years hadn't they, as much a part of him as any other except no, they were gone and never had been).
"You don't have anything to be sorry for," he said, "it was never your fault."
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 9:53 pm
"I let her get to you. I let her hurt you." His shoulders shook lightly with tremors as the images replayed in his head. "I let her get to you and everyone else." How was he suppose to defend his court when he knew that he had failed once already. Both in the past and now in the future. "I keep getting you into trouble.. Tears streamed down his eyes as he held Alistair close. "I avoided all our friends... I wanted to send you away. You tried to tell me things, tell me about the friends you had made and I just wouldn't listen all because I was afraid. And in the end I-" The blonde's voice cracked and he shook his head as it dropped against Ali's shoulder. "I got you killed."
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 10:49 pm
"You didn't let her do anything, Lance," Alistair murmured, hands moving so he could run his fingers through Lance's hair. His lips pressed to Lance's cheek, kissing away the tears as they fell down. "Ssh, shh, you were hurting, and you were scared, and I didn't blame you for any of it - I don't blame you. Even...even for the end." If there was one thing he knew, it was that no matter what happened, he would never have been angry at Damocles. He had died hoping for nothing but to be reunited with him.
"I could've gone to the camp..." Dionysia had wanted him to. "But I couldn't leave you. I will never leave you."
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:27 pm
"Not leaving me was what got you killed..." He murmured. Part of him wondered why Alistair didn't just agree. "You would have been with your family. You would have been safe." For now anyway. "You would have been alive..." I could have dealt with the distance if it meant you were alive and safe. With people who cared about you." He really didn't get Alistair sometimes. "I'm glad you didn't... I could have lost you sooner." He could have been taken by Lellouch just as Leto had.
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:45 pm
"Safety is overrated," Alistair said, "and I wouldn't have been able to stay away. Not knowing if you, or the others, were alright would have killed me...In a somewhat less literal way, I suppose, but I would have come back and died, or been found out there and died. There was only one end result." It hurt to think that way, but it was true, he was doomed no matter what.
"And now we know, we can prevent it..."
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:46 am
"Apparently with me it is.." The teen sighed again. He squeezed his eyes shut as the memories played over once more, a fresh set of tears running down his face. He couldn't tell Alistair what had happened after that. He wouldn't. Lance couldn't remember exactly how he died, but he had remembered it hurt. "...That or it will happen differently. I can't lose you... again." Lance did not like the way that sounded. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 10:09 am
"You haven't lost me in the first place," Alistair reminded him, "we're both still alive, and I still have my sight," 'and', he wanted to say, 'we know for a fact Lellouch is dangerous,' but he didn't want to remind Lance of who had caused all that misery. Or at least, all of theirs. The abstraction of "the Negaverse is evil" had a concrete form, and it wa his boyfriend's little sister.
(His husband's, in that terrible future, but there would be time to consider its few blessings later. For now, he had to make sure Lance was alright.)
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 11:21 pm
"I almost have.. A number of times." The shade, Penthesilea, the attack on their own court. And now Lellouch got added to the roster. It seemed each event was always worse then the last. The blonde sighed as he finally released Alistair, only to move and lean against the head board.. "...Why don't you try and get some sleep.. I'm a little to awake right now.."
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 6:38 pm
Alistair rolled over, carefully undoing Lance's pajama shirt and then laying his head and hand on his boyfriend's bare chest. "As long as you're not expecting me to move," he said. "Though I admit, I don't particularly feel like closing my eyes right now..."
Ah well, he did need the sleep, and maybe in the morning they would both be better at dealing with this life that was theirs-but-not.
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 7:35 pm
"You always sleep on me after a nightmare.." The blonde pointed out. "I'd be a little startled if you did move." Lance covered Ali's hand with his own, while the other moved towards the brunette's hair, as he began to gently stroke and card his fingers through it. "I know..." He murmured. Alistair may not want sleep, or to close his eyes, he'd be better suited to handle things in the morning.. He'd be more level headed. One of them had to be. "Go to sleep... I'll be here when you wake up." The blonde promised. "I love you Alistair." The teen sunk into silence after that, zoning out as he continued to stroke at the other teen's hair. His fingers ran over Alistair's absently. Gliding over soft skin, and knuckle bones. Gently, he picked up the other's hand, watching as Alistair's fingers curled and twitched slightly around his own. His thumb brushed over Ali's ring finger, where a part of his brain told him a ring was. Where a ring should have been. Slowly he brought the hand to his lips, kissing the knuckle. "Someday..." He said softly against it. Someday soon, he'd make sure of it.
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:01 pm
Alistair's eyes were closing and he was beginning to drift off, light or not, because he was[ tired, when he heard Lance's words.
'I'll be here when you wake up."
They'd been the last things he'd heard in that terrible nightmare future, and hearing them again made him cling to Lance harder, press himself just a little tighter against his boyfriend's side. That memory was perhaps the most painful of all, because it had been his last few moments alive.
"You were," he said. "I woke up, and you were right there."
He was also awake enough to feel Lance's touch on his hand, and to hear the quiet, whispered "someday." And that painted a small smile on his face, and soothed the ache in his chest, at least a little.
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:14 pm
Lance tensed when Alistair suddenly spoke, having not expected him to be awake still. "I thought you were asleep." The blonde gazed down at the brunette before sighing. "Sit up." Lance said, shifting slightly. He pulled Alistair close, wrapping his arms around the teen's shoulders and letting them hang down his back. The blonde tilted his head forward, leaning his forehead against Ali's as he closed his eyes. "I give you my heart. I promise to be your lover, companion and friend. Your ally in conflict. Your greatest fan and your toughest adversary. Your comrade in adventure, your accomplice in mischief. Your consolation in disappointment, your encouragement in success. I will walk with you, hand in hand. Wherever our journey leas us. Living, learning, loving. Together. Until the end of time. I promise this to you."
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Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:34 pm
"Not quite asleep yet, no," Alistair said, shifting into a sitting position and settling comfortably into Lance's arms.
There was no mistaking the words the blond was speaking. Alistair knew enough wedding vows to recognize them, and from somewhere in his memories (were they memories?) he dredged up a response.
"You are my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward until the end of time."
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