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The vision from the nap earlier had given Megrez some energy and direction, if not necessarily completely alleviated her prior concerns. She knew now what she had to do. She needed to make sure everyone was okay, to make sure that no part of her vision had transpired. She could kill two birds with one stone: settle herself, and settle her future.

She had sent a text to every person on her contact list:

In the park on the north side of town.

I'm scared. Please help me.

She was scared. She was scared not just of becoming a monster, but of losing everyone and everything. She never wanted to feel that loneliness and grief ever again. She needed her people, and she needed them now. Tonight would be the night that determined her fate as a senshi. Would she break her henshin pen? Would she surrender herself to corruption as some people seemed to think she would? Would she pick herself up and get back to fighting? Would there be another outcome? It would depend on who visited her tonight, if anyone.

She sat on a park bench and waited, staring into the night to watch for passerby.

It took Megrez a moment to connect the voice with the person in front of her, most likely because some part of her didn't believe she was actually standing in front of her. "Megiddo?" she said softly, and then when she decided that she could believe her eyes, she followed it up with a louder "Megiddo!" and threw her arms around the Squire, squeezing her tight. "I am so glad to see you. You're just the person I hoped would come. I've got so much to tell you about. I've got so much on my mind... I hope you're feeling patient tonight." That was important. If Megiddo decided she didn't want to hear her emotional nonsense, it would crush her.

The mention of someone "doing something" to her made Megrez smile faintly. Megiddo had a habit of always finding a way to make Megrez smile. "Another senshi attacked me on Monday and stopped me from killing a lieutenant. That... kind of started off a lot of things. If it's okay with you, I'll start at the beginning."

Megiddo easing out of the hug left Megrez feeling a little put out. She really, really didn't want to let her go in any way. She was sure that when Megiddo went home, it was going to sting. She attempted to satisfy herself again by reaching for one of Megiddo's hands. "It goes back to about a month ago. I don't know if you heard through the grapevine, but there are these two senshi... Castor and Pollux. They're brothers. Castor is a Prince. They gathered up a bunch of Negas, killed them, and sent out a distress call to make people gather. For every one person who might have agreed with what they did, there were at least two people who started going on about how brutal and terrible it was. I got kind of stressed out, so I blew up at them and a whole bunch of people started yelling at me. One shithead even slapped me. No one seemed to get that it was a call to action, to get us to fight Chaos as a united front. I don't understand why people would rather stand around and do nothing instead in the name of some useless so-called moral high ground." A clear hint of bitterness slipped into Megrez's voice at the last statement. "When I blew up, I swore an oath: if I corrupted for any reason, I gave everyone there permission to kill me."

"A few days later, I killed a captain. Fought him and a lieutenant buddy. The lieutenant got away, but I was able to get the captain's weapon and I hacked him to bits. I saw Penthe after that. I don't know if she told you anything, but I went up to her planet with her for a bit that night. I spent the weekend on my planet, but that's not as important as what happened when I got back. I got pinned between two lieutenants, and Pollux showed up to help me. We both killed one lieutenant each.

"About two weeks ago, I found a corrupt senshi trying to kill a Page, and he used his magic on me. It was an eye opener, but in the worst way... whatever it was, it just made me think about everything. About killing those Negas, about how some people at the meeting said those who killed were nearly Chaotic themselves, about how much I hate senshi who haven't killed and won't kill for being so pure... it broke me. It made me think that I wasn't fit for Order, that I should just corrupt anyway because that was where I belonged.

"Earlier this week, I tried to kill a lieutenant, and I got stopped by another senshi, just like I told you. She kept saying that if we kill, we're no better than terrorists and we're proving the Negaverse's points. She told me that we had to defend people till the 'big fish' shows up. But that doesn't sound like it'll get us anywhere. This girl, she said she'd killed too, so... I don't understand why she wanted to stop me so badly. I just can't believe that a senshi would go out of their way to forcefully stop me like that.

"The tipping point was these two dreams I had. The other night, I was standing in front of this horde of senshi, who said I was irredeemable and that I, well, we would be what corrupted Order before we even touched a drop of Chaos. A voice in my head asked me about how much I hated them, and then told me to show them how I felt... so somehow I tore them apart. All of them. There wasn't a single spot in the room I was in that wasn't covered in blood. I walked out of the room, found Destiny City destroyed, and turned into a monster." Megrez shuddered visibly here.

"And just today, I had the other dream... it was some dystopian future where the Negaverse had taken over. You were dead, Gunn was dead, Penthe was corrupted... I remember feeling very sad and lonely. I missed you all so much. I even had a dream-in-a-dream where I killed Penthe and another friend who corrupted and you and Gunn came to carry us off like valkyries. When I really killed Penthe, I made sure to burn her body so that you and Gunn could find her. I remember feeling so empty after that... and then a General-Queen killed me and it was all over."

Megrez exhaled heavily, tired out from the sheer amount of rattling off she had done. "Sorry, that was a lot. But every piece is important, I think. So... I wanted to see everyone tonight to make sure they were okay, and because... I don't know what will happen to me."

"You don't need to plan on dying to have it happen," Megrez said flatly. "And believe me, in my dream, when she corrupted, Penthe did not harakiri. I had to do that for her with another senshi's help." The news about Gunn made her frown; she was aware that Gunn was probably busy, but hearing that she wasn't even in the country... well, she had accepted that Gunn was the type of person with bigger fish to fry, but she felt she had a right to be a little bummed about her not being around. She owed the woman her life, after all. The crack about cracking skulls earned a grave nod instead of a laugh from Megrez; she knew the three of them were more than adequate at fighting the good fight. That wasn't the problem.

Megrez listened intently to Megiddo's spiel, but latched on to one phrase in particular. "Not reflective of me as a person..." She wasn't sure what to make of it. If the reactions to her at the meeting were any indication, people had quite a few opinions about her and what she did. The comment about space Ebola got a little giggle out of Megrez despite herself. That one instance of spontaneous corruption sure sounded like a hell of a story. When Megiddo put her hand on her shoulder, there was a plaintive whine of stop trying to make me let go of you in her mind. "I don't know. Am I fine? Am I really fit to be part of Order's ranks? I thought about breaking my henshin pen earlier, so that neither Order nor Chaos would have to deal with me again. But that wouldn't get rid of my monsters. They'd be with me forever, whether I henshined ever again or not." Clearly, it would take a little more shaking to get Megrez back on track. Softly, she said, "I don't want to be a monster."

Frankly, Megrez wouldn't have minded being slapped silly at this point. It'd be quick and decisive. She pursed her lips, mulling the accidental implications over. "No, you are all definitely fit to be part of Order. It's just, for me..." Somehow, the sentiment disappeared partway through and rearranged itself. "I was worried about how much I'd started hating my fellow senshi just because they hadn't killed and were spotless, but..." She couldn't complete a train of thought to save her life right now. "No matter how much I hate them, I'll never hurt them. Even when that senshi beat me up I refused to fight back."

There was a particularly salient point in Megiddo's counters: angst wasn't saving the world. "You're right. If I get too bogged down in going over things over and over again, it's just as bad as removing myself from the equation. I need to... come to a resolution, I guess." Megrez laced one hand around the one on her chin. There was a way she could come to a resolution quickly, she figured; it might not be the most neutral of methods, but she knew it would shape her up and remind her what she was fighting for. "Um... I'm sorry if this seems really weird and creepy, but next time you go on a date with Penthe... can I come with? Maybe... join in? Of course, if you'd rather just keep it to the two of you, that's fine! I was just... wondering." The awkwardness from Megrez was thick enough to make a decent doorstop. Really, she had wanted to go on a date with these two for a while, and now just seemed like the time to ask. She wanted to be with them more than ever now that she felt she had lost them at one point. She did not want to lose them again.

"You would have hated Castor's gathering then. Lots of people in the tea party camp there. I think one girl got so freaked out she threw up." Megrez nodded vigorously at Megiddo's second point. "Friendly fire is stupid. Some people don't seem to get that. There were a bunch of people who said they would stop Castor. Keep in mind that Castor is a Prince. He could decimate half of those people like he did those lieutenants if he wanted to. I told them to stay out of the way and avoid getting killed in such a stupid way, but all I got was a bunch of sass. And some shithead slapped me."

A tiny twitch of a smile crossed Megrez's face. "Let's face it, I'm already your third wheel. I bounce between you two enough. But, um..." She swallowed nervously, breaking eye contact. "I... I guess I do want that threesome. I want both of you. After losing both of you like that, I just want to hold you both and never let you go." It was a small but very keen desire, one that had been buried but was now significantly more prominent. She remembered that kiss from corrupted Penthesilea. If she could have it now, make it real, with none of the horrible side-effects from those memories, she would be beyond overjoyed. "Yeah, I'll ask her, definitely. I'll let you know if she approves."

Megrez stared at Megiddo for a moment, trying to summon up the courage for one last thing. First slowly, then much more decisively, she leaned forward and gave Megiddo a dainty peck on the cheek. "Thank you. For everything."