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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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 Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:59 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:05 pm
 Charon shifted from hoof to hoof, in the stifling heat. He had been with the Khalasar for some time now. His injuries were healing and his respect for Daenarys was growing begrudgingly. She was more than an entitled self-made Queen. Fire and blood, and dragons. Impressive in a way. But a part of him yearned to be free and doing something else. There was nothing though, this was the life he lived before and what he would do until he died--a life of service and war. And scars. His ears flicked at a sound behind him, and he turned not speaking to see the flutter girl coming out of the camp. He didn't speak to her, just looked at her questioningly. She seemed to always be disappearing off into the bushes to have a cry, trying to cover her weakness.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:53 pm
Smiling as much a smile as she could muster, Margaery turned away from the mare who had waylaid her on her way to the edge of camp. It always seemed to happen this way; someone wanted to talk to her, or ask her how she was doing, or something, right at the most inopportune moment. It was not that she did not appreciate their concern, and it was not that she didn't want to talk to them, too - it was just that tonight wasn't the best time.
The signs of an imminent breakdown had been increasing in their frequency for weeks. Her flicker was getting worse again, with pain sneaking into her transformations when she least expected it to. Worse, each day, there were more unexpected transformations - ones that she hadn't meant to initiate. Just this evening, one had caught her unawares while she was munching on the sparse desert grass. The surprise of it made her gasp and cough as a blade of grass shot down her throat. She was certain that everyone had been staring.
And it was not only the flickering that spoke of the breakdown to come: her thoughts were growing darker, and there were flashbacks in her dreams now... Flashbacks she had thought were gone for good. Two pairs of blue eyes haunted her, and as she found herself at the edge of the camp, Margaery looked up at the sentry - and saw Revenant in his eyes. Shaking her head to rid herself of the vision, she met his eyes again. This time, Revenant was still there, but it was just the nostalgia of him that she felt. "Charon," she began, nodding to him. "If the khaleesi or any other should come looking for me, please make it known that I have left the khalasar for a few hours, or perhaps the night. I will return by morning." Nodding deeply to him in a sign of respect, Margaery walked past him, hoping that he would not stop her, as well.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:03 pm
Charon didn't acknowledge her openly or otherwise. Her comings and goings did not concern nor intrigue him. Where she went as her business and he doubted if anyone would even care to ask about the filly. He found her more nuisance than worth most of the times, though these last few months she had grown a bit of a backbone. Perhaps if she continued on that course, it might even be worth his while to speak to her. But not now, her presence as merely an irritant to him--taking him out of this thoughts of what his future and past meant, of where he would go after this job and the next and the next.
She disappeared into the darkness, and Charon slipped back into his watchful reverie.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:08 pm
Blessedly able to pass the green Kalona stallion without so much as a word for him, Margaery took in a deep breath of the fresh, twilit air and broke into a lope, her nose slightly elevated as she searched out the scent of water, the scent of green; the khalasar had been through this area before, she was certain, and there had to be an oasis around here somewhere.
It took her a good fifteen minutes to find it, but when she did, there was no sense of accomplishment in its sudden appearance, no pride at remembering its location; in those fifteen minutes, unhindered by thoughts of the khalasar and her khaleesi, Margaery's thoughts had turned to her past. The pale blue body she'd been unable to save, herself she'd been unable to save. Instead of stopping when she reached the edge of the pool, Margaery splashed into it, wading in up to her shoulders, wondering if the cool blue of the water would drive the pain away. She wanted to scream, but she wasn't sure what words to put into her scream. She could curse the gods, but she knew she wouldn't mean it; she could curse fate, but there was nothing she could do about that. So she stomped around in the water for a while, until her limbs were cold and heavy. It was still warm enough that the water felt more cool than freezing; the sun had not quite set yet. Even so, the stars were out in the purple of the eastern sky.
Eventually, when her throat felt raw from breathing heavily, Margaery turned her eyes to the stars. She could see the Crone's lantern, shining way up in the heavens, ready to lead her on her path of destiny, down the path of wisdom. But what was that path now? She had done all she could, all she could dream of doing; she had helped the khalasar and her khaleesi continue to move forward every day. She helped the starving, the poor, any destitute traveler that the caravan came across - she made sure they all were brought to her. And now she carried the weight of their burdens and her own, all of it.
And where was she to find love? She had been unlucky in every attempt, one courtship taken from her, run off before it could bloom. Another had been completely destroyed, her beloved taken forever from her reach. The third had been no true love at all, but the love a captive must learn for their captor. Now she was here again, gazing up at the stars, lost. A tear fell from her eyes, and she knew this was the first of many that would fall tonight. "Blessed Mother," she began, and then paused, wondering why she even bothered to pray anymore. Because I have nothing else left. "Watch and keep Daenerys and her people with kindness, especially the faithless, for they do not know they need you. Father, judge them justly in this life and the next. Warrior, grant them valor and honor in battle. Smith, lend your strength to their weapons. Maiden, grant them innocence in all things, the ability to see the good in the world. My lady Crone, lead them down the path of wisdom." And for yourself...? Though it seemed pointless to pray for herself anymore, some little voice told her it was only proper to continue to do so, even if there was nothing to be gained from it. There never had been anything to gain before, but if she didn't continue, then what could she even begin to try to hope for? "And for myself, I pray only that this weight would lighten, that I could have the forgiveness of those who have died in my stead." A sob ripped up her throat, and more tears fell, tinkling and plopping in the water around her. With them came the shaking she had grown accustomed to, and then the gasping. She could not speak the next words yet, so she stood there for a moment, letting the emotion free itself from the cage she kept it in.
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:09 pm
Knochen found himself awake looking up at the canvas of a tent. The tent was of silk and heavier duty material. The silk hung down over the doors at night to keep the breeze out or privacy--not that she ever cared about privacy. Right now, the tent was hot but the lifted silk allowed the breeze, what little stirred, to drift in.
She was gone, like normal. She was at best a free spirit. Her laugh and mannerisms were careless, but underneath she was all precision. He listened for the distant tinkling of her bells that meant her coming. It always seemed as though he was waiting on her. That didn't say much for him.
But he was used to that, having a pure kalona half brother and an elitest half-kalona sister had made that obviously clear. He was the inferior of them, the lesser with no visible kalona traits. Perhaps that was why he didn't mind being at False's beck and call?
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 11:28 pm
Falsetto Amachi walked past the small silk town of the Caravan she was with. Most of them knew her as False instead of her true name Falsetto Amachi. It was some small subterfuge, an odd habit when she was on the move. Perhaps everyone knew who she was or perhaps no one, she didn't really care either way. Sometimes being Falsetto was too much, she liked False much better-call it an eccentricity.
It had been long months since she'd seen her family had crossed paths and she missed them, but the wanderlust was in her blood.. It was partly why she had joined up with this desert caravan, they never stayed one place long.
She slung her waterbag down so that she could fill her water at the oasis ahead when she heard movement. The sun was setting, the light catching in the mare in the water's hair, and making it look almost auburn. The picture took her breath away.
False stood silently watching the girl pray to her gods, eyes cast toward heaven in supplication. There was something picturesque about it that she didn't want to disturb.
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:07 am
As the shuddering began to subside, fresh thoughts cropped up in her mind, and she started shaking all over again. It was always like this - she thought she had a handle on herself, and then another image would appear in her mind, and a fresh wave of tears would wrack her body. It was exhausting, but she needed the catharsis. After all this time, she knew her body well enough to know when to let go. But she still knew when enough was enough, when she would have to shut down that part of her brain that produced those images... And when she finally did, that need was still there.
The need for forgiveness.
It felt like a hole inside of her, one that would be impossible to fill. There was only one place she knew to look for it, but the Seven never responded to her, at least in ways that she could understand... And yet again, she was left wondering why she prayed, but even as she spoke the words, she felt the profoundness in them. There was something in praying, even if prayers were never answered, that was fulfilling, even if it was not the way that she wanted or needed. It was like she was putting her responsibilities in another's hands, to keep and fulfill for a time. "I pray for the ones that you now hold in your hands, for their installment in the beautiful heavens that you so graciously provide for us. And... and I pray for the knowledge that they have forgiven me, for the ways that I have trespassed against them." Something in her felt like it was breaking; her voice was cracking, her lungs barely able to keep air in them. Tell me that they forgive me, she begged. I will do anything. "I left Taliesin alone when we were attacked, when he was run off. I did not search for him like I should have, and I pray that he does not grieve for me as I do for him - let him be happier somewhere, with me gone from his mind. And... and Revenant." Just the name sent pain through her, and another sob came, more tears. Gods, I cannot do this. I cannot say it. "I... I just left him. I let Jon Snow take me away from him, I just left him there to die alone, without me, without another soul there to ease his pain. And the regret hangs on me every day, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please tell him that, that I wish it had been another way. That I..." That I wish he was here still, that I could ask forgiveness from something other than the stars. "I ask his forgiveness before all others."
Somber now, and coming down from the gut-wrenching sobs, the empty feeling inside of her, Margaery lowered her head and gazed at the reflection of the stars and sunset in the water, and said the rest of her routine prayers, asking forgiveness for the everyday sins she committed. The list was not long; she could not even bring herself to lust anymore. All her hope, all her drive, it had all gone into that pit of need, deep within her, to be devoured.
Wading out of the pool, Margaery shook herself off, and her gaze fell on the blue stranger who had been watching her the whole time. Unsure whether to feel violated for the intrusion of a stranger into such a private moment or to be wary of attack, Margaery waited for the soquili to introduce herself or charge or something. She had dropped her crossbow and shaken off her tabards before entering the water - the movement had been so natural that she had quite forgotten that she'd done it. Standing beside the dusty green cloth, Margaery gave the intruder a nod.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:49 am
False listened to the girl's prayers with something akin to wonder, there was no religion in her--no yearn for this girl's gods or any others. But there was still a beauty to it, to her standing deep in the water with her doe like eyes cast upwards begging the heavens for forgiveness.
But the heavens didn't hear, there was no one up there to respond. Did she expect lighting to strike her down or fire to come down and cleanse her? The idea was ludicrous at best.
The girl turned towards her and False smiled, wading out into the water and filled her water skin. "If I prayed for atonement for my sins, I'd never be able to stop." She laughed bemusedly. "What have you done so wrong that you ask for forgiveness from an empty sky? There's not going to be an answer, no great shining light to bath you in holy redemption. There no one here except me. If you want me to forgive you, then fine. I forgive you, but that's the only answer you'll get."
She waded back out of the water. "Night is falling which means the desert winter will last till sunrise, get out or you'll catch cold. If you want forgiveness, stop asking for it and find it yourself."
False looked at the mare after speaking her mind, tilting her head to take her in. "I'm False. Are you coming or not?"
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:12 am
Margaery couldn't hide her surprise when the mare walked right past her and to the pond, filling a water skin without a word, until at last she finally spoke. And her words were so sardonic that Margaery flinched. Mother Above, I have met another faithless one who has need of your love. When the mare asked what Margaery had done to need forgiveness, she frowned. How long had she been standing there? Surely she had heard. But if she had not, Margaery was not about to share. She'd already had one bout of tears tonight, and she did not want another one. There had been times in the past where just the mention of some small object of paraphernalia - winter furs to keep the chill out, for example, like Taliesin had worn - had sent her running from camp. She was tougher now; time had taught her tolerance toward her triggers. Talking about the actual events, though... That was still off the table for anyone who wasn't the Seven or hadn't seen them firsthand, like Jon Snow.
Shaking out her coat again, Margaery followed this "False" person, wondering if the name was any indication to the kind of character she would be dealing with. But if she had a warm place to stay, Margaery would take her up on it. In the desert, the sun fell fast, and the khalasar was too far to try searching out tonight. Fifteen minutes of loping covered a lot of distance, and Margaery didn't want to try doing it again once the sun had gone from the sky. "I'm coming," she replied, nodding for False to lead the way. "I'm Margaery Tyrell. What makes you such a sinner?" she asked, hoping the question would be innocent enough, and the answer as well - like gluttony or sloth. She was prepared, though, if it was less than innocent; she had met a hedonist before. They hadn't gotten along at first, but it had gotten better over time. Perhaps Margaery would be able to tolerate this girl - if she was indeed in the practice of hedonism - for the night; she had had practice, after all.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 7:04 pm
"How haven't I sinned?" False raised her eyebrow as Margaery came out of the water after her. The name didn't ring a bell with her. She began walking. "Mostly debauchery, some lies. The usual kind of thing. I don't go around killing for fun or anything like that. I'm not what most would consider depraved at least." She smiled back at the filly as the sun began to dip below the sand dunes.
"Do you often find oasis to go cry and pray in? Or is this a fluke thing?" She blew the white strands of her hair out of her eyes, the bells tinkling softly as she turned to look at Margaery again.
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Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2014 11:33 pm
Debauchery? Margaery thought, looking at the mare again. Her tattered scarves didn't speak of debauchery, nor did the spikes that adorned her; the bells were perhaps the only sign of any indulgence. There was always more to others than one could see at first glance, though, and this mare might be a perfect example of that. It was good, though, at least, that False didn't pride herself on killing - for fun? Margaery's eyes widened and she hung back a little. Did that mean that this mare killed things out of necessity? She did not have the look about her of one that needed to; no Kalona blood showed in her.
Brows furrowing at False's half-offensive question, Margaery shook her head as she walked. "I am not usually even so desperate as to pray away from my herd. But there are times... It takes months to drive me to such a point," she replied, praying the subject was at an end. The bells that tinkled in False's hair were almost soothing.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 12:33 am
"That's good to know, it would be a tragedy if you did." False was about to speak when she saw Knochen standing in the threshhold of her tent, framed by the dying sun.
"I thought you would have left already," she tossed the bell in her hair.
----
Knochen had waited in the door of the tent, the silks blowing around him as the wind stirred. In the distance, he saw False and another mare approaching. For a moment, as always, his heart soared at the sight of her but noticing the other mare spurned that dark feeling in chest. He could feel jealousy writhing in his chest like a snake coiling.
Her words made his chest tighter. "Replacing me already then?
"Perhaps," False smiles coyly.
That thing in his chest grows hotter, the bitterness creeps into his voice, "Then don't expect me to come back."
False tosses her head, watching him. "You will, you can't stay away from me, we both know it."
"You aren't the be all and end all False! The sun doesn't rise and set with you," he brushes past her slamming his shoulder into hers and then the other mare's as he passes.
False turns, her body rigid in anger. "Good! Maybe this time you'll really not come back. Keep your worthless self out of my tent!" Her voice rises and fall in her passion.
Knochen stops just past both of them, he can hear the anger in False's voice and the passion. He closes his eyes knowing that he is too weak, and he hates himself for it. His voice is soft, but bitter. "I'll see you tomorrow then." Taking what's left of his dignity, he leaves.
False screams after him, "If you should be so lucky!" Her chest heaving with emotion, her eyes blazing as the corners of her mouth tilt into a smile.
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Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 1:21 am
Margaery had just taken in the blue silk blowing in the door frame of the brown canvas tent when the person standing beside it began speaking, and his words confused Margaery so much that she just stood there for a moment, looking between him and False. False's answer made her even more confused. Replacing him? What is he to her? By the time False said, "You can't stay away from me," Margaery had gripped the gist of the conversation - and was blushing hotly beneath her brown coat. Replacing him took a whole new meaning as he rammed into first False's shoulder, and then hers, with enough force to rattle her teeth.
Standing there in the quiet after False's last scream, Margaery shifted her hooves awkwardly. What is there to say after something like this? she asked herself, wary that False might turn to her and say something that bashed this person she had never met. It would be something she would not and would never know how to respond to. Raising an eyebrow at the other mare, she settled for cheeky. "Know him?"
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 6:38 pm
False could feel her chest heaving with emotion as she stared after him. He'd be back, she knew that. She was fond of him, some at least. Turning towards Margaery, she flashed a wicked grin. "Better than myself."
She pushed aside the blue silks and motioned for Margaery to follow her into the tent. It was. The tent itself was sturdy canvas, but the openings were hung with blue silk when there was no sandstorm blowing. The inside was covered a thick carpet and three or four pillows. This tent was her concession to material luxury, there wasn't much else besides her passions that she indulged in.
False dropped down to the pillows to try to get comfortable, tucking her legs cloe to her body. She pushed her scarf off of her head and shook the sand out of her hair. "Please make yourself at home."
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